Thinking of Ancestors

          Parents are taught to "wait" until children ask questions (like about sex) and then, to only answer what is asked.  But, in some situations/subjects, we can try to anticipate questions, and try to answer questions BEFORE they are asked.  Yup, really.

           Your children may not get the genealogy bug until they are in their 30s, 40s, or later.  By then, you may not be here -- or you may have become ill (assuming you would be at least age 20 when you had a child, you might be age 60 or older before your 'kid' gets interested in their roots).  But, you can start NOW to pass along your knowledge, expertise, and especially, the "stories" of your family.

           I never asked my grandpap one question about his job, not once, even though I had lived with my grandparents after my parents had died.  Being a girl, and liking to be clean, I physically moved away when he'd come home still wearing his miner's hat, face blackened except for around his eyes where goggles had protected his sight.  He looked-- icky to me back then.  So I never wanted to know more about what he did.  Now, I wish I had asked, or that he had just told me.  But he was a quiet man, one of few words.

           You can start with young kids and teens with stories about your life.  What job do you do, and what do you do on your job (not just a job title).  Do you work in an high-rise office, or underground?  Who works with you?  Who are your friends at work?  Tell your kids a funny story about one of the tasks you do at work.  Like, did you work as an office secretary and instead of filing the papers your boss handed you, did you shred them by accident?  Were you once a waitress and fell flat on your butt at lunch-hour carrying a full tray of milk shakes, that flipped in the air as you fell, and landed all over you, dripping down your face?  Kids like to hear the funny stories, and will easily remember them.

          Want to introduce stories about your parents, your grandparents?  Humor is again great for younger family.  "My grandpap, your great-grandpap, was very hard of hearing.  He didn't have a hearing aid,and just cupped his hand around his ear, like this (showing this, using your own hand).  Then he'd lean wayyyy over, like this....(leaning), in the direction of whoever was speaking.  Well one day, he leaned sooooooo far over, he fell right out of the kitchen chair he was sitting on!"  Add in a little "historical detail" in your stories, like "When my grandparents lived up on the hill in Bentleyville, PA, they spent every evening sitting on the front porch where they used odd or old kitchen chairs.  This was after grandpa had gotten too old to work in the mine, which was right down the road from their house..."  Then go into your story.

          As 'kids' age, you can give more facts and tell more serious stories.  Do not assume that just because they "grew up knowing" Aunt Cecilia and Uncle Charlie thatan adult child actually understands HOW these folks are related to them-- or to you!   At some point, start referring to relatives in terms of how they are related to YOU.  "My brother, Roy, your Uncle Roy, married Alberta, my husband's sister."  When my grandma said that to me, she knew I'd say "huh?"  "A sister and a brother married a sister and a brother," she said, knowing I'd be more confused!  "My brother is Roy.  He married Alberta.  I married Howard.  So my brother, Roy, married Howard's sister; Howard married Roy's sister - me."  This was one of my first lessons in confusing "family histories."   Before, I had always thought of "aunt and uncle" as a "pair" and therefore as more of a separate 'family group.'  Now, I got a lesson in how separate families were more intertwined than I had realized.

          As I worked with my grandma doing research, she began writing me letters.  Over the next 15+ years, she'd jot down a page -- to many pages -- of family lists, giving parents and all their children.  Then she'd go back to child # 1, and list who that person married and their kids.  And so on...  Hundreds of letters of "lists" of family "groups" plus stories of what grandma knew or remembered of these people (most she had personally known back 2 generations at least).   Plus came letters of her theories about ancestors.  "Let's put on our thinking caps," she would begin some letters.  And after discussing aspects of our research on this or that ancestor, she'd end with "oh my brain is getting tired" and make a joke.  I can actually hear her little laugh, coming through her writing.  Now that she is gone, I treasure "hearing" that laugh as I re-read the letters.  And her factual info and stories about family have been treasures as I've continued writing our family history that grandma and I started before she died. 

          There are many, many ways you can teach your kids and grandkids about your roots.  Don't wait.  Start now, by answering questions before they are asked!

GCH Lace

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