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A Mormon saint comes to visit... Memoirs 151
Mother and Grandma Wilson
When it was decided that her mother could no longer stay in her own home, Mother and the rest of the married children agreed to take turns caring for her. Accordingly, Grandma Wilson came to Phoenix and was given her own little apartment in back of mine. She had never stayed in our home before all the while I was growing up. Grandpa Wilson would alway rush her in and out on his way to camp out and fish. She was needed to cook the fish and make the biscuits and whatever other chore she had always done for her demanding husband.
I did not know how she would act when she was greeted with some of my father's rude behavior toward his wife and daughters. One day we were talking about the evils of alcohol and Grandmother happened to say something agreeing with my mother about Daddy's past drinking days. In a loud voice, Daddy snarled, "You are a couple of god damn liars!" Grandma did not know that this was the way he talked to all of us when we tried to bring up his drinking days. I know that is the first time she had ever been called a god damn liar by anybody. She jumped up and rushed home to her apartment. I would not have been surprised had she called one of her other kids and told them how disrespectfully she had been talked to by my father, and she wanted to leave Phoenix today if not sooner.
She had just settled in, however, and I had told her I would come over every night I could, after work, and write down some of her history. I was absolutely fascinated with Grandma's experiences in polygamy. She was the only living grandparent I had who was actually the daughter of a third wife. She told me about her days in the United Order in Orderville, which was she said the last town in the United States where the principles of the United Order were practiced along with polygamy. Grandma was very proud of that. Everyone had their tasks to do and all the town ate all their meals together in a large communal hall.
I got the idea that their family of six kids had suffered from my Grandfather Porter's bad health. He just had too many wives and kids to take care of, which became quite common among older polygamous men who had more lust than sense and kept marrying more wives, even when not in the best of health! Their oldest sons could even end up taking care of their old dad's new batch of kids! Her mother had to make quilts to sell and whatever else that would bring in a little money for extras, even though their basic needs were being taken care of in the United Order. Grandmother's stories about their poverty had practically made me cry while growing up. At least our dad with only one wife was able to maintain a full cellar.
Grandma still lived and believed as she had then with the minor removal of the practice of polygamy. Polgyamy, however, was still practiced in Mormon heaven. The U.S. government was not able to stop that, and all the wives that were sealed to their husbands in polygamy could be reunited there. I thought that if Grandpa Wilson, her husband, had been able to take more wives Grandmother might not have suffered so much, trying to prevent his interest in other women from flaring up.
She would insist on being present when he gave 'adjustments' to his chiropractic patients. He earned most of his living in his latter years through chiropractry, which was a good way to interest women, I am sure.
Both Grandma and Grandpa had gotten very disgusted with my mother's choice of husbands. They thought that she knew quite well my father was a rebel and a drinker when she married him. He was, however, a hard worker and a good provider especially after he quit drinking, so since they did not believe in divorce they always counseled Mother to stay with him.
I think Mother was quite satisfied to have her mother called bad names, so she would see why her husband was impossible! Mother was still trying to get a divorce, even though by then her marriage had lasted close to 35 years! There had never been a divorce in the Wilson family so it was no small feat to try to get their approval for the divorce she had wanted so many years. She was always trying to get their consent by telling them as bad a stories as she could about Father's loathsome behavior, and since he was very mean most of them were even true. She did not ever seem to register that he was a homosexual also, but that might have prevented her murder. Father was in such deep denial about that, I would never have dared accuse him of it either. I did not want to be murdered either.
Now I was getting a divorce, my sister LaRae had also separated from her husband, and my sisters Linda and Margie both wanted divorces, and we thought our sister Ann might need one, too. We were soon to be known, rightfully so, as the divorcing Kings.
I knew that Grandmother Wilson just did not understand us, and she was a little bit too old by then to put up with our father long. I did have a very illuminating discussion with her and Mother however, one day at the kitchen table when Father wasn't around to spoil things. I asked her why she thought Mother was so resentful of her. I had listened to Mother say she did not like her mother for years. I didn't tell Grandmother that but I was very surprised when she declared she did not know that Mother resented her! Mother was hard put to admit just how much she did resent her, but she did say that Grandmother just did not listen to her or pay any attention to her troubles. I am sure Grandma had her mind too much on her church activities and all her many many relatives out of polygamy that took many reunions to keep up with. Grandma kept acting surprised at what Mother brought herself to say about her faults. I don't know if she thought she was a real saint or what. I was very glad to be the mediator in getting Mother and Grandmother somewhere on the same page, if only for a few moments. I wished that a great many more of these discussions had gone on, but I knew that Grandpa Wilson was the reason they didn't. And Mother did not even resent him. Well, she had as a teen ager when she said he still took a belt to her, but since then it had been all roses between her and her dad. He did not demand anything of her and so she did not demand anything of him.
And in the meantime Mother had launched off into a series of affairs that were so disturbing I thought a case could have been made for insanity. When I realized that even Bruce could have seduced her, I just wished with all my heart that Grandma could have dealt with her sexual problems more.
But then I knew Grandma had worried her whole life about Grandpa's possible affairs after she had learned he had been having an affair with another teacher at the high school where he taught. Mother was 12 and she had read the passionate letter the female teacher had sent to him while they were on a trip thinking he would be careful to pick up the mail, not Grandma.
I did think that Mother was no more insane than Grandpa had probably been, and I thought from things she said, that she thought blood would out. She had her dad's passionate nature and was eventually taking sex wherever she could find it. She thought my dad threw so many stones in the path of their divorce, protesting the settlement she wanted, that he did not deserve a faithful wife.
Because of Bruce's past history of molesting he did not tempt me much at all. I told him in our talk that I would never take up with the husband of a hometown girl who had had four children with him, even if he got a divorce. He did in fact mention divorce and appeared to be trying to get one for a few years, as he continued to turn up wherever I was from time to time to have an intellectual conversation, he said, if nothing else.
Grandma soon wearied of Mother and Dad's constant quarrels and decided to move on. She was never to live with Mother again, but she did divide her time between her other daughter, my Aunt Vesta, a good Mormon, and her youngest son, my little Uncle Bill who had married a devout Mormon girl, really the best wife he could ever have gotten with his slowness of mind. She was musical and they both sang in the choir. Many of their kids were very musical, too.
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This was riveting as always. I love reading these memoirs too.
I wonder if your King side of the family is any relation to the King family in Worland WY. If so it would make sense that their only son is Gay, but they don't know it.
Nelishia
http://journals.aol.com/nelishianatl/PRAYINGANDBELIEVING/ -
I love reading your memoirs.
Pam
4/8/08 2:51 PM
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdg