Do You Know WHERE Your Children Are?

10:05:10 PM EDT
Feeling Worried
Hearing quiet time
So the real question is ... Is he or is he not. I guess I don't want to know unless the answer is he is not. His WHOLE crowd stayed home this weekend for a conference. Then I was watching the news and saw the rainbow parade in DC.  I remember flying home from Boston I think it was and a very eccentric lady was on the plane next to me and that's all she could talk about.  I arrived at National and on the way home on the subway I was mortified at all the public display of affection. PUKE . . . so it would be poetic justice if he is because of my unacceptance of it all. I am not even going to write the word it upsets me so much. And I don't believe it.  I know he's partaken, I'm not stupid.  That's why he wanted to live in DC. That's where all the action is and it's commonplace. Well, sorta ... at least more "accepted". I pray GOD Almighty over and over to cast out the demon.  HOW did this happen?  Is this my fault.  I know he was lurred into it by someone in high school.  I tried to talk to him about it and I thought I had but I was wrong.  I only sent him underground.  It's more than drugs, but what about the lady?  Is is possible he's found someone who "gets" him and that he is comfortable talking to?  Is this really what it's all about?  Or am I simply refusing to SEE the "truth" or the "illusion" of same.  What is the truth?  I am afraid if it's what I am afraid it is, I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.  hE KnOws tHAt. THAT IS WHY HE HIDES It from me.  But he knows I know, we dance around it.  No matter what . . . I LOVE HIM. No matter.  he is mine flesh and bone.  my baby.

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