Thoughts of an (almost) middle-aged veterinarian, or is it mother?

My son started school early several years ago.  He missed the magical wondrous day that divides those ready for kindergarten by, (gasp) ninety four days.  But to me, he seemed ready, naturally playing with kids several years older, counting, writing his name, adding, subtracting, coloring in the lines.  And then he'd walk into walls, causing me to choke back laughter.  It is hard to believe that your child is a boy genius when he feels that one of his biggest accomplishments is how far his urine arced through the air.

We were at a party several years later when another mother asked me how old my son was.  I told her and she was surprised.  He seems so much older than that.  Then she asked how old my daughter was, and again was amazed at her development, which was, I guess, advanced.  Then she asked me what I did to accelerate the two of them.

Imagine an intelligent woman with the blankest look possible on her face.  Okay, not actually blank, more...totally confused.  Okay, imagine the afore-mentioned intelligent woman saying, "Huh?" in the most stupid way possible, thereby negating all of the research that implies that intelligence is transferred through the X chromosome.

Seeing my confusion, the woman continued.  "Do you do flash cards?  Tutors?"

"Uh, no,"  I said, edging away slowly so as not to cause her to attack.

"Oh, well you must do something to build a base for your children to learn from."

"Uh, no," I said again, and ducked around the corner, grabbing my children and running for the door.

WTF? 

Keeping up with my kid's intelligence seems to be a lot like getting through their deliveries.  Ya know, when they were born?

My son was a shock, an endless ocean of continual pain that lasted so long that I just accepted that it would go on for the rest of my life, and was perfectly normal.  And then suddenly, much to my surprise (although I did tell his father that I was very aware of where he was coming from), there he was, looking at me with interest.  His intellect is the same- I just accepted that he was normal, and that all the other children his age were slow.  Those poor parents.  But then I realized that there were a lot of 'slow' children his age.  My jaw hit the floor when they told me that he was 'very gifted'. 

I make sure he knows it everytime he does somethinggoofy, like walking into the wall, or being amazed when something he drops falls to the floor.  "He's gifted," I'll say to the nearest person, in my Yuk-Kintucky accent.  His intellect is much like mine- really bright in a sort of out there esoteric way.

My daughter's intelligence is different.  Like her birth.  My daughter's birth was an out of control freight train.  Fourteen minutes from fully dilated to out in the world.  A half hour from 2 cm to check out the kid.  Keeping up with her is like that- you just hold on and hope to heck everything comes out all right.

My mother once commented that my daughter was brighter than my son.  I disagreed.  I think they are probably about the same, except my daughter is very, very driven.  How many other four year olds get three workbooks (a sight word one, and two different "entering 1st grade")  And has a goal of finishing all three of them before kindergarten? 

And yes, she's already done with one and 1/3 of the way through each of the others.  And no, I don't make her sit down and do them.  She likes it.  Okay, she demands it.

She also reads- currently voraciously devouring Beatrix Potter.  

It has been good for my son- forcing him to get moving if he doesn't want her catching up.  And believe me, he doesn't.  That would be worse than losing all the legos in the world.  Trust me.

So, I wanted to have my daughter start kindergarten this year.  She missed the magical and wondrous day that seperates those ready to go to school from those obviously not developed enough by.....(drum roll please)...one day.  School board says that she has to be tested.  Cost: $350. 

It is for her own good, really.  I mean, what if something happens and the kids a week older understand it, while she, poor dear, stands at the edge of the crowd helplessly confused?  That would be horribly, horribly damaging, really.

Yeah, I think it is ridiculous, how'd you know?

So she had her test, and she flustered the poor guy, causing him to try to keep up with her.  Test usually takes an hour or more, my daughter worked through it in about twenty minutes. 

Value of watching the guy giving the test frantically asking and scribbling:  Priceless.

Best quote- when she got one wrong- "Good to know that you're human."  Don't worry- it went right over her head.  Or did it?  Her response was, "I told you I'm smart."

Um, yeah.

So at the end of the test that the little four year old aced, the testing guy asked me how I thought she did.

I said, "I think she bridged that one day gap necessary to start school quite well.  Am I wrong?"

To which he replied, "She did better than some nine year olds."

Better not tell her brother. 

So now I get to have a nervous sobbing fit next August. 

Where the heck did my baby girl go?

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• #1 Comment from ceilisundancer 
  6/20/08 12:21 PM | Permalink

  Laughing at the test and the guy giving it to her:)  LOL.
  
  I stopped talking "milestones" with the coworkers whose kids are the same age as my daughter is, when I realized that theirs were, well, not nearly on the same developmental level shall we say.  Thankfully, I didn't need tests to prove her birth didn't fall correctly (only for summer camp did I have to fudge the date and put Ju instead of writing out July, when they insisted the kid be x years old by June something).  (Her national standardized tests still prove her out sufficiently.)  She seems perfectly normal to ME, yeah, even now at almost 14 years old.
  
  Your daughter would go nuts if not starting kindergarten by this fall........  (while I did Montessori).
  
  We build a base by providing them with an atmosphere where there are books available, and they're read to, and sung to, and taken outdoors, and they're allowed to explore, and ask questions, and learn with their own natural inquisitiveness.  They're given a base by being fed good food, and kept in safe housing and not have to fear, but feel free TO learn and explore and ask questions.  Some kids would need flash cards, yes, but not the gifted child, that nature vice nurture bit.  Your kids have the nature part, and it just needed to be allowed natural nurturing, the kind done by a good parent.  One who doesn't hold them back, and one who allows a kid to run into walls and be a kid, too.
  
  Flash cards are okay for those who require it to keep up, or in games for the fun of it, etc., maybe in help learning another language albeit still not my first choice.  I can't imagine forcing a kid.  I'm grateful I never had to.
  
  Your baby girl will still and always in a way be your baby girl, just being allowed to be her more full self, too.  Raising a gifted child is also a challenge at times, and, that's okay.