Brianne's Journal

I called my bank today.  I was hoping they could reassure me with a (minor) blunder I made yesterday, and the lady on the phone calmly told me that nothing was wrong at all, and I could just transfer the money as I'd originally thought.  I thanked her, and hung up.

Now, though, I realize she gave me the answer I was not looking for.  Let me describe the situation to you.

Normally, all of my husband's paychecks go into our joint checking account.  We then pay all of our house expenses and regular bills from this account (called hereafter as Acct. J, for Joint).  I then transfer money as needed to my husband's or my personal checking accounts, for which we have ATM cards.  Out of our personal accounts come Visa payments, day to day living, cash, restaurant checks, stuff like that.  (We'll call mine Acct. B, for Brianne)  Normally, I deposit all money into Acct J via mail, we have (had) a stack of envelopes and deposit slips all made out nicely. 

The trouble began 2 weeks ago when we ran out of envelopes.  The bank (well, credit union, really, but we'll keep calling it a bank) is about 20 minutes away, and I do not have an ATM card for Acct J.  I dawdled, delayed and procrastinated, and never got that paycheck deposited, and now we got a new paycheck this last Friday.  Now, of course, it's getting more urgent that this gets deposited soon.  It's also now the weekend.  I decide that we should just deposit them using my ATM card and I'll go get more envelopes sometime during the week. 

Well, silly me, the checks were endorsed, I filled out my deposit slip as usual, took them to an ATM nearby, sealed up the envelope, stuck in my card and proceeded to deposit.  That's when I thought "silly me, you can't access Acct J via your ATM card... oh well, I'll just deposit into my savings for now and transfer the money on Mon or Tues."  Do you see the problem yet?  We had endorsed the checks as usual before I decided to do this.  Hubby's paycheck: "For Deposit Only, ACCT J, hubby's sig", with regular Acct J deposit slip inside this envelope.  Being deposited according to the ATM to my account, Acct B, which has no mention of hubby's name on it.  I claim distraction by a cute 2 year-old, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

So now I'm panicking.  I make a call this morning hoping to fend off the hordes of policemen that will be beating down my door arresting me for check fraud.  And the lady on the phone says "oh, it'll just go to your account, you can transfer the money later".  Um, even though the deposit slip inside was for a different account? "yes".  After I hung up I realized I didn't specify the Acct J number written on the endorsement... that my hubby's name is not on my acct at all.  I am now less than reassured.  If she was right, then it doesn't matter that you write an account number on the back of your check... anyone can still steal it!  If she's wrong, then who knows what's gonna happen to this money.

I'm going down there in about an hour to talk to someone in person.  Grrr.

helltygr at 12:25:43 PM PST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

I read a lot of message boards nowadays.  The one I'm currently most active in is actually a forum for a particular online video game that I play, along with thousands across the country.  Recently, a topic came up on the board about other board members' habits of poor spelling and grammar.  A very gentle post addressing some of the most common errors on the board erupted, inevitably perhaps, into one of the worst flame wars I've seen in a while.  Well, actually, war is too strong of a word, as that implies insults on both sides. 

One one side were, for lack of a better word, the offenders.  They used such arguments as "this isn't English class," "stop calling me stupid," "I'm 13 years old, not some college snob," "It's not like you didn't understand what I meant, so STFU."  On the other side were people tired of seeing common game words misused, duel for dual, rouge for rogue, there/they're/their, your/you're, and the most common spelling error of rediculous for ridiculous.  99% of the people on this side were quite polite, but saying that continuing to misuse words and grammar just leads to more and more acceptance of the mediocre passing for good, and contributing to the dumbing down of our society. 

As those of you who know me can probably guess, I finally entered the battle on the side of those defending the standards of good spelling and word use.  While I accepted that there were many who post to our message board in their teen and pre-teen years, I expressed my dismay at those who actually fought to defend their recurring errors as their right, or as permissible.  I confessed that spelling always came easily to me, but seeing homonym errors is simply like hearing fingernails on a chalkboard.  I am unaware of rules of English being only applicable in a classroom situation, after 3PM you can use whatever way you feel to spell a word, or punctuate a sentence.  The occasional typo bothers me not in the least, it's consistent misuse of language that does.

My husband has a 22 year old former employee who joined the Navy a year ago, and has served time in Iraq.  While he was there, he sent the shop a letter... in a word, it was simply unreadable.  While we got the intent of most of the letter, there were entire paragraphs where we had to decipher, read aloud and guess that he's talking about an incident between a commanding officer and a buddy of his, butwho actually said what was a complete mystery.  This from a high-school graduate - where do we draw the line?

Many of these kids (I say kids even though adults are just as guilty) have no concept of the real world.  You can be a bright person but never be taken seriously by the way you present yourself. 

helltygr at 1:52:43 PM PST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

So for some strange reason, everyone in my family is asking what Munchkin wants for Christmas.  That's pretty simple, and a very silly question.  She only wants one thing, and it's pretty obvious to anyone who spends more than 10 minutes with her.  She wants everything.  It's her nature.  In case you haven't noticed, Auntie, she's 2.

Actually, it was pretty darned funny the other day, some commercial came on that had Santa in it.  I started to tell Shannon, hey look, it's Santa! 

"Are you going to go sit on Santa's lap this year?"  "Sure!"

"Are you going to tell him what you want for Christmas?"  "OK."

"What do you think you want?"  At this point, she places a finger on her chin and says, "Weeellllllllllllll....."  I nearly died laughing.  I got such a dirty look from her for laughing, and she says, very indignantly, I might add, "I'm THINKING!"

....

So now I'm "helping" Shannon write her list this year, for Santa, and for distribution to the relatives.  Oddly enough, one of the things on it is going to be, "this year, how about NO stuffed animals please."  I'm a big stuffed animal fan.  So is Shannon.  However, she's at the stage right now that when she discovers (or rediscovers) a favorite, she does NOT switch to loving that new animal best.  Nope, she adds it to the coterie of animals and other objects she must have with her at all times.  (Melodee, if you still read my journal, do I get bonus points for using "coterie" in a sentence?)  Her current parade is: Simba, Blanket, Lily (leapfrog singing froggie), Eeyore, Teddy, Puppy, Baby, Book (luckily any book will suffice, just has to have one), and Plate.  That's right, Plate, a plastic plate that came with her kitchen set gifted to us by neighbors who have outgrown it.  She plays with them on the couch all day, naptime and back into the crib they all go, awaken and back out they all come.  I tried to slide fewer by her this morning, I placed her on the couch to wake up with her cup of milk, and told her I'd bring her the toys after, rather than trying to carry the entire onslaught as I usually do.  I limited it to just 3 toys and the blanket, and sure enough, she spent the next 20 minutes coming and finding me in the kitchen and asking for something I'd left behind, one at a time.  Out of sight, out of mind?  Ha.

So, hopefully we won't actually be adding to the menagerie this year, at least until this phase is behind us.

helltygr at 11:43:59 AM PST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

Well, it's possible (just possible, mind you) that I may be able to convince my husband to try for another child.  The other day, I made an appointment with him to at least discuss the matter.

He did say that he doubted he would change his mind, but promised to talk to me at the time of my choosing, which I offered as when I lose 40 pounds.  I told him that if I can successfully do that, it will show him that I'm serious about getting my body to a healthier place which would only help a pregnancy.  If I couldn't convince him, well, then at least I would be out of the medical "obese" category.  (probably still overweight, but I believe 40 is doable, never mind that I haven't been that weight in 10 years)

So, I have a goal, and laid my cards on the table.  He was honest and said he still didn't want one, but agreed to talk about it at that point, where we can look at our lives then.

Wish me luck

helltygr at 2:30:15 PM PST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

If I had to sum up a philosophy of how to teach open-mindedness and anti-prejudice, it's this:  Examine carefully any sentence that uses the word "they" or "them" in it if it's not refferring to very specific individuals.

Once you start categorizing "us" and "them", it becomes too easy to make assumptions and broad generalizations - thus are stereotypes born.    If "we" are good (and don't all of us like to assume we are?), then it becomes the easiest matter of definition to make "them" evil.  It doesn't matter if "they" are different religions, skin colors, or just "they" who wear blue on Wednesday instead of red like you do, generalizations can be a very slippery slope for the lazy mind. 

And I've been guilty of it too.  My apologies.

helltygr at 8:29:06 PM PST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

Today, I just want to call my in-laws and beg them to take my child for the day.  My lovely, spirited, exuberant 2-year old that is so hard to be around when you have a nasty head cold.  However, I'm pretty sure my SIL is out of the house (as always, she's the least SAH of all the SAHM's I know), and my MIL is in need of knee surgery (scheduled for next month), so I've promised myself not to impose on her any more than I really have to.  I've been sick since Monday, this after two weeks of being well.  Before that it was two weeks with a nasty cough - I went to the doctor and it was literally "nothing".  Just a cough, it might be lingering from a bug, but that bug was nowhere to be seen anymore. 

This, however, is a fun cold.  Under the full influence of Nyquil, I still wake myself up at night and cough for an hour, and I thought that stuff could fix anything!  I sound like a 40-year smoker with emphysema (no offense intended to any sufferers out there).  If in the next coughing bout I spit up toenails, I'll not be surprised one whit.  Headache, sore throat (which I think is caused by the coughing, not the other way around), highs and lows of energy and perhaps a low-grade fever, I still haven't checked.

I just want to crawl under my blanket and play video games all day, Mommy!  And, as I think I've used up my daily allotment of parenthetical insertions (I'm pretty fond of them), I'll be signing off.  :-)

helltygr at 12:23:26 PM PST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

My husband and I have recurring discussions about the differences between men and women.  Why the genders don't understand each other, why they can't communicate, why they have different goals in life.... that sort of thing.   It's pretty funny, really.  Now, we're talking generalities of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, please don't post here saying "you say women want XYZ and I'm not like that at all, you suck!" :-)  The differences are most pronounced in the highschool and college ages, but carry through life....

First, the stereotype of women wanting to discuss their feelings all the time.  Well, it's sort of true.  Women prefer to know where they stand at all times, so they'll ask.  "Are we OK? You and me?"  Men, well, they figure you'll tell them if you want them to know, otherwise they'll be perfectly happy accepting things as they appear. 

The biggest difference I really see is that women tend to be a lot more devious and well, maybe even dishonest in their day to day dealings.  Hence, girlfriends calling each other all times of the night saying "John said blah blah blah, what did he MEAN by that?"  and they spend 2 hours on the phone trying to figure out what he really meant, what he was trying to say, what he was hiding.  Girls, I have something to tell you.  99.9% of the time, he didn't mean ANYTHING other than what was on the surface.  Guys don't speak a foreign language.  If he said you look "fine" in the red dress, it doesn't mean "you look fat but I'm afraid to tell you;" it doesn't mean "you look hot but it'll ruin our friendship if I tell you;" it doesn't mean "shut up and stop asking me what to wear."  Well, OK, it just might mean that last one.  But do not, under any circumstances, ask a man a question if you're not prepared to accept his answer for what it is.  They're most likely answering the question you actually ask, rather than the one you think you mean when you say it (that they can't hear inside your mind)

I do notice women live in revisionist history a lot more than men do.  One of my co-workers at one point spent some time asking everyone at work that day about the clothes she was wearing.  She wore that outfit a lot after that, and, about 3 months later, confided to me that she wore it a lot because the men at the office said it made her look hot, including my husband, "I hopeyou don't mind me saying so."  Now, I didn't mind her saying so at all, but I knew my husband, and that girl gave him the creeps, and he'd never say she looked hot.  So I actually asked him if he remembered telling her that.  Long story short, his version of that day was her asking very pointed questions such as, "I feel so much cuter in this blouse than my every day t-shirt and jeans, does it show?"  Another male co-worker agreed that was the questions he got, and tried to answer as blandly as possible.  But my female co-worker honestly remembered it as them complimenting her....

Oh yes, back to talking about "things" and "feelings".  Don't tell a man about your problems... unless you want him to fix them for you.  Guys want things to be fixed.  They're not always good for dumping emotional problems on.  When you tell your girlfriend how rotten your boss is, how tough the job is, how stressful your deadlines are, all you expect back is "Aww, poor baby, let's go get a drink and forget about it."  When you tell a guy the same thing, he says "So quit if it's that bad." 

But mostly, it's not speaking the same language.  Men say what they mean at the risk of pissing you off, women are experts at the compliment that's really a backstab.  "What an interesting dress, I don't know  many women who could pull that kind of look off!"  Remember, they didn't actually say you were one of them....

helltygr at 11:54:34 AM PST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

Now, I know this entry may alienate some of you I'd like to call friends.  If my explaining some of the reasons I'm atheist will make you uncomfortable or angry, please skip reading further. :-)

Someone asked me not too long ago why it was I wasn't religious.  Many reasons really, I'll try to touch on most of them

First, and probably most important, I just don't "feel" it.  I think it's possible to be a spiritual person without worshipping a god or God. (or goddess, for that matter)  I'd like to believe in a soul, something which will live on either reincarnated or in some afterworld, or whatever.  Some days I succeed in believing in it, some days I don't.

My brain works too scientifically.  The size of the universe alone tells me we're probably not unique, even if we never find other life out there.  Then, the evidence of the age of the earth and the process of evolution tells me it wasn't just poofed into existence. (I'll get back to that)

Honestly, another really huge turn off to organized religion is the people.  In Marion Zimmer Bradley's "Mistress of Avalon", Morgaine says "I have nothing against your God, it's just the people who say they speak for Him..."  or something to that effect (too lazy to find the book for the exact quote). To be honest, it's actually Christians I find the worst offenders, they truly are affronted by those with different beliefs.  Before Christianity, most (granted, not all) religions tended to be more accepting of others' differences. 

My father died when I was seven years old.  The Catholic priest honestly believed that "your father was a good man.  God just needed him to do good things up in Heaven." was a good way to comfort me.  Come on, a 7-year-old truly believes she's the center of the universe, how could anyone need my father more than I did?  That was truly the first seed of how unfair this God of his could be.

Narrow-mindedness.  Well, here goes.  I try very very very hard not to be judgemental, but seriously, those who cannot accept that evolution actually occurs has serious mental blinders.  Anyone who has bred animals for a living for more than 10 years can tell you about inheritance and traits... look at dogs for cryin' out loud.  In the short amount of time they've been domesticated, you get Pomeranians and Great Danes.  In the not-too-distant future, it's likely these two breeds actually will NOT be able to produce offspring with each other, and thus create divergences within a species.  The scale of MILLIONS of years .... it's very hard to grasp that concept deep in your heart, to fully understand it.

If the world is only 6,000 or so years old as the Bible says (8,000? I forget) why is there so much evidence to the contrary?  God thinks it's fun to create laws of physics (carbon dating) that would show something other than what's in his book? Hrm.

On days I nearly believe in godly powers out there, I find it ridiculous that one would have to perform certain ceremonies exactly right to continue to be in His good favor.  Why would He care if we went to church?  Is He that insecure that He'd need the constant "attaboys" that church provides?  It's either what's in your heart or it's not.  If someone can go to church every Sunday and still be a pedophile... If Mahatma Gandhi can do so much good and fail to get into your heaven... something just ain't right. 

If I had to pick a religion, it'd be whatever it was that Bill and Ted created... "Be excellent to each other" 

'Nuff said.

helltygr at 3:11:54 PM PST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

Some people ask if there's anything worse than going Christmas shopping on December 23rd.  I think there is.  It's looking for a Halloween costume on October 30.  I dread what we're about to attempt.

Really.  See, we had an awesome idea earlier in the month, one which we actually carried out last night at Shannon's Gym party attended by hundreds of kids and parents we didnt' know.  Hubby and I dressed up as Cosmo and Wanda of the Fairly Oddparents (Nickelodeon, if you're not familiar with the cartoon) and Shannon was Timmy Turner, complete with pink baseball hat.  On one hand, the costumes were a smashing success with the kids, we were two of a very select few parents that took the time to dress up for this event, and so many kids recognized who we were supposed to be.  (and isn't that the definition of a  successful costume? being recognizable?)  On the other hand, we hadn't reviewed costume materials before we attempted to get dressed other than me.  I had to buy a nice yellow T-shirt and all the wands and wings and pointy crowny things... easily done.  However, when hubby started to get into his white shirt and black pants, um, Houston, we have a problem.  He doesn't get dressed up often, and discovered much to his dismay that the 15 pounds he's gained in the last two years definitely interfered with his ability to wear his white shirt and black jeans.  He tried to switch to his cream colored shirt, but I told him it was right out.  He was able to wear (barely) a white dress shirt of mine I had bought years before that is a man's style button-down, but the collar was too small for more than the hour we were wearing the costumes.  Painting our hair pink and green was fun, though I had a heck of a time trying to figure out how to get my long hair to do anything resembling Wanda's style.

While driving home from that party, we came to the conclusion that wearing the same costumes tonight to the grownup party we're attending is probably not the best idea.  The Fairly Oddparents is indeed a kids' show, and most of our friends will probably not "get it".  Costumes that need explaining are not, IMHO, fun.  So... in about an hour we're headed to the costume shop.  On a Saturday.  The Day Before Halloween.  With A Toddler.  And No Idea What We Want.

Help me.

:-)

helltygr at 11:57:16 AM PDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

All I needed to know about housecleaning I learned from my 2-year old.

Don't laugh, really!

* Everything in its place: "Momma? Where this belongs?" then she runs runs runs to put it there.  Not always perfectly, but she gets such joy out of it.  The word Belongs is very important to her right now.  If everything has a Belongs... well, then it should go there.

* Messes can be cleaned up.  "Uh-oh, cwean up Momma, cwean up!"  She runs to find a broom or duster or sponge or mop, whatever implement she can get her hands on if something spills. (also known as no use crying over spilled milk)

* It doesn't need to be perfect: "There, that's better Momma!"  Better is sometimes good enough. :-)

* It's more fun as a team: "Me help you Momma, me help!"  The pride on her face from helping to put away silverware is infectious.

Heh, I think I'll send this to Flylady... ;-)

helltygr at 1:59:37 PM PDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own