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8:06:00 PM EDT
A Death in the Family
As I was getting ready to leave work yesterday afternoon, I got a call from one of Thomas' sisters to say that their father had passed away.
It was not unexpected. I believe he'd been hanging on to life (barely) for the past year out of sheer stubborness. He was 91 years old and barely weighed as much as my daughter. He'd just had a bout with pneumonia, and has been in and out of the hospital for the past couple of months. Most of the time recently he didn't seem to recognize any of the kids except the daughter who was his major caregiver.
I have mentioned before that Thomas and his father were not really close, especially in recent years. I don't want to say too much on that today out of respect for my father-in-law, but Thomas is a good man, an excellant husband and father, a dutiful brother and son, and he didn't learn those things from any example from his father. Mr. H did not treat those boys well when they were younger. As I've said before, Thomas looked on my dad as more of a father to him than his own.
I am sorry for Thomas' sisters because they are truly grieving right now. I have made myself available to them to help out in any way I can. My own father's illness and death were very sudden, and Thomas' sisters, especially the oldest, Mary, were so very kind and helpful to me during that time, so I want to repay them as much as I can. He will be cremated and there will be a memorial service. A lot of family will be coming in from Alabama and Florida.
My kids never got close to their Granddad H. He never really gave them the opportunity to do so. They are sorry he is gone, but they are not grieving like they did when my Dad ("Papaw") died. I'm glad Eler Beth is handling it so well, because she is just now getting able to talk about my Dad's death. We have worked really hard this past year to help her come out of her "silent" grieving. We've been preparing her, of course, for her Granddad's death, because we knew it was only a matter of a little time. I think that has helped, too.
So, yesterday's gloomy cloud that was hanging over my head all day bore fruit at the end of the day, didn't it? Today was a much better day; sunny and very warm. And my sisters-in-law seemed to be handling things better than they were last night. They've made the arrangements with the funeral home and Thomas went by after work and signed the papers for the cremation. They are now busy with the rest of the details and getting the extended family into town.
I feel better mentally than I did yesterday, but I have a scratchy throat and I keep sneezing. Maybe that was part of what was wrong with me yesterday; coming down with a cold/allergies. I can take off up to three days, paid, for bereavement, so I might just take off all three to make sure I don't get sick. I worked six hours today, then left because of feeling bad. I figured I could help them make phone calls.
Well, that's all for now. I'll update later.
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I'm sorry about your Father In Law. Hope you get to feeling better soon. My prayers will be with Thomas and the family. It's still hard even when the feelings are mixed.
God Bless You
Darlene
http://journals.aol.com/djohn52/AgeingGracefullyWithAllTheH elpIC/ -
Sorry to hear about your father in law.
Martha -
Sorry to hear of your loss. Will keep the family in my prayers. - Barbara
http://journals.aol.com/bhbner2him/LifeFaithinCaneyhead/ -
Sorry to hear about you FIL. Hope you feel better, soon...Jae
4/23/06 11:21 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with you..
Hope you get to feeling better.. whether it's an allergy or a cold..
Jackie
http://journals.aol.com/sienn