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12:18:00 AM EDT
When It Rains It Pours
I want to thank everyone for their very nice, sympathetic comments on my previous entry. It is helpful to know that I am not the only one who has trouble dealing with family deaths in the older generation. I am feeling much better today. Although the weather was gloomy, I had a nice, peaceful day of rest with my family and some friends. I do plan to call my doctor tomorrow, although I am fairly sure that the stress I've felt this past week is the cause of the problems I've been having.
I expect to be dealing with more stress in the upcoming week because Thomas' eldest sister's husband, our brother-in-law Jerry, is not doing well at all. He had surgery yesterday evening to remove a mass in his stomach and part of his colon. While they were waiting for the scheduled surgery, tests came back showing that he has cancer throughout his body. His prognosis before the surgery was not good, and now is worse, as he has been in a coma since the surgery, and is breathing only with the aid of a respirator.
Tomorrow they will test to see if there is any brain activity. My sister-in-law is holding up remarkably well. They are both in their sixties. Jerry has been in poor health for several years now, having been a smoker for most of his life, and a diabetic who has had to have dialysis for the past several years.
Thomas has always thought a lot of Jerry. Jerry used to take Thomas and his older brother fishing, and I think he is the one who actually taught Thomas how to drive when he was sixteen. I liked Jerry when I first met him because he was a very quiet-spoken, mild-mannered man, and very intelligent. He was a master plumber and a very good electrician as well. He and Mary never had any children of their own, but Jerry has always been a natural favorite with the nieces and nephews, and grand-nieces and grand-nephews. There are some people that babies and little children are just naturally drawn to, and he is one of those people.
I spent about 30 minutes on the phone with my SIL a while ago, and she said that one reason she is able to be so calm right now is that right before the surgery Jerry was so calm and composed. He let her know what his wishes were if anything should go wrong, including that he would not want to be dependant on machines to keep his heart beating. And we agreed with her, that if the cancer in his body is as bad as it appears to be, it could very well be a blessing if he doesn't have to deal with the pain and suffering that would come to him in the next little while.
So, I guess I'll dig my heels in and prepare to battle a bit more stress over the next few days. My stress is nowhere near as bad as what my SIL is going through, and I do feel a bit better able to cope today. I am going to get a good night's sleep if I can, and try to spend a bit of time tomorrow doing something relaxing for myself -- perhaps even journaling or reading journals.
Again, thank you so much for the kind words and the sympathetic ears.
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Sorry you are experiencing extreme illness in the family There is just no easy way to get through such a thing without trauma and he sounds like a good guy, who will be sorely missed. Gerry
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I'm sorry to hear that you once again face the possibility of a death in the family, Lori. Keep us posted.
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That's so sad about your BIL, but it sounds like he knew the risks and was able to talk to his wife about thing before his surgery. His calmness, and their conversation, may be what she needs to get her through the coming days.
Glad you feel better....
Beth -
I am so sorry to hear about Jerry. I think you are right though, it would be a blessing if he doesn't have to go through all the pain and suffering. He will be in my prayers, all of you will be. Hang in there Lori.
Hugs, Martha
4/1/08 6:53 PM