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2:00:00 AM EDT
Feeling Chillin'
Licking skunks, doing Math, Police captains and grief
After compulsively writing all night, today was a day that I felt rather drained and bitchy. The girls were bickering all morning, (Post-Public School Spring Vacation hangover) and finally I told them they were grounded. I only ground a day at a time. This is much more useful (and enforcable) than the week long groundings I used to try many years ago. It gives them incentive to quit being nasty to each other. I become the common enemy and they collaborate on becoming ungrounded. hehehe
I actually forced them, being in an Evil Mood from all the Disquiet in the house, to do workbooks (gasp). They worked on Saxon Math for awhile. They weren't particularly happy or thrilled with it, but both grasp the necessity of understanding math so they do it---rather like I feel about Pap Smears and dental exams.
Shelby, sensing that I am sad, was a Wild Child all day, effectively keeping me busy. I spent a lot of time on our deck with her, cleaning it and scrubbing the furniture. LilyPad the skunk and Shelby have discovered each other. LilyPad discovered that Shelby usually has some tasty food item that she is not reluctant to share, so now she follows Shelby. Shelby likes to lick her on the head, like a dog. Fortunately, Mandy gave Lilypad a bath today (for the Library's Pet show tomorrow) so I guess short of a mouth full of hair it is okay to lick skunks.
The police captain stopped by and hung out for awhile on our porch (I did not let him into our House of Pestilence since Dave is still sick.) He refunded the parking ticket :-), talked to the kids about police work, and generally seemed bemused by the children and animals spilling out of our house.
We sometimes have that effect on people.
We talked about the difference between ethics and the law. He pointed out to Mandy (and me) that police officers tend to have to mature into seeing areas of gray. In the beginning they are more black and white. Mandy told him I would let everyone go and that I forgive things that I should not. ROFL
On a serious note, I told him about one horrific case I had as a Children's Protective Worker...my very first case. A ten month old baby had the roof of her mouth perforated from someone shoving keys repeatedly into her mouth as she screamed. At the hospital they discovered that her tiny legs had TEN fractures in them, all in different stages of healing. We later learned that it was caused by yanking her out of the baby swing....You would think the people who did this horrific abuse are Monsters, who deserve to be locked up forever.
When I met them, in jail, they were scared teenagers. The girl-child mother had a badly scarred hand. Her mother had held her hand in scalding water to teach her not to touch the stove. She wasn't a monster, really, just....a child herself with very bad parenting skills...I did not want her to go to prison. I wanted her to get help. It is easy to hate in the abstract, harder when you see the pain in another's eyes...
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The trick is to be a better parent then your parents. That's what I've learned and I'm not even a parent. Having Austin certainly helps. -Dawn-
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I like your view. VEry eye opening. Thank you. rose
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well.... tell your daughter that she has one-upped me, I have not yet licked a skunk in this lifetime. I bet the police captain has stories to tell his wife for days now after visiting your house, and I am sure that he saw what a gentle person you are.... even when you are over-tired.
I am so glad that there has been positive movement.... and I am thinking of you while you continue to grieve. Big hugs your way my friend. judi -
Are those cone flowers yours and are they from this year? Ours poked a frond above ground during our unseasonably warm February, ducked when the weather turned round in March and haven't been seen since.LOL
Seriously, I've found that most people don't intend to start down the wrong road. Each bad choice brings another and each one makes it harder to change direction until the little hill in the back yard becomes Mt. Everest.
4/13/05 10:46 AM