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7:16:00 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Loving Thy Neighbor...or not killing your sibling
There are, of course, times that I despair that my children will grow up to be good human beings, usually when they are engaged in name calling and bickering with each other. I think that siblings can be incredibly cruel and destructive to each other at times. Tabitha, in particular, has a wickedly sharp tongue, and like my little sister, does not hesitate to go for the throat.
I responded yesterday by making her do an extra chore for every name calling she committed. It did help slow down her general bitchiness, and I got some extra cleaning done.
However, usually I see that my daughters have very good hearts, and my heart glows...two small examples yesterday confirmed this.
Tabitha has been avidly attending the Baptist Youth Group, and they went to visit "one of those places where some people stick old people, Mom..." (A nursing home?) "Yes, a nursing home. Well there was a mentally retarded girl who was there and some of the kids were making fun of her. It really made me mad. They said it did not matter because she didn't understand. I said it DOES matter and I was MAD."
I told her she was right---of course it matters! Even if the person does not understand your words they can feel your intention and decode your body language. I am sad that the Baptist teacher did not intervene and tell them that God finds the Mentally retarded to be just as perfect as the brilliant.
The next incident was in my van. I had run into the grocery store to get some snacks, and the girls were in the van along with some of their friends. When I got into the van Mandy and Tabby both told me urgently to look at the woman in the car next to me. "Mom, I am afraid she is trying to commit suicide! She is crying and she is drinking rubbing alcohol. Isn't that poison?"
Sure enough in the car next to me a very sad looking, very overweight young woman--easily young enough to be my child in her early twenties, was sobbing.
I told the girls I would ask if she was okay. At first they were embarrassed, but then relaxed.
I walked over and knocked on her window. She looked startled at me, wiping her face hurridly and rolling down her window. I put my hand comfortingly on her bare arm and asked her if she was okay...I am not sure what all I said to her, I tend to keep up the soothing patter I use with wee ones and hurt animals--but we talked about five minutes...she was not trying to commit suicide, but she was very miserable--and sick-- and she did not seem to find my presence to be intrusive. In fact, she leaned into my hand on her arm, and my other gentle touches. I told her that my daughters had been worried about her, and she managed a watery smile at the girls. I asked if it was rubbing alcohol, but it wasn't poisonous what she was drinking...I waited until she showed it to me. I do think it helped her, she calmed down and was waving at the girls when she pulled out.
In these situations I always simply explain that I am a Mother, and can't help being so nosey.
LOL
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your girls sound very sweet...you should be proud of them as I know you are! You are a sweetie too I can tell. All siblings fight. It's just nature, I guess. Your girls do have good hearts You've done well as a mother.
hugs,
Stace -
Just here and catching up. Do you think we will certain situations to ourselves? You seem to lead an extremely unique life. You were the "Good Samaritan" perhaps. :) Some would have ignored her.
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you a perfect mother! rose
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What good, thoughtful girls you are raising... And, I'm glad the girl in the car was o.k...
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind
4/29/05 5:20 AM