Hestia Homeschool for Young Wild Women

First off, let me reassure all of my dear friends that Mandy will be okay. She is a strong, brave young woman, and she stopped it before anything other that inappropriate touching of her clothed breast and the forcing of a tongue in her mouth happened. 

::::shudder:::

To say that I am overwhelmed with guilt for trusting this....over fifty year old man...with my children would be inadequate. I feel almost crazed, but have to act normal and strong for my children who are devastated.

"The Perfect Uncle " was the person we had chosen to take the girls if we ever died. He came to all parties, all holidays, and has keys to my house and car. That he would take advantage of a young woman who loved and trusted him is beyond me.  That he would talk about vibrators and sex addiction to my eleven year old is beyond me.  That he had offered to take Mandy to Florida for her 18h birthday--and booked them for the same hotel room (shudder) sickens me. I will add more details later. I am worn out from dealing with the police, two attorneys,  and a few of our mutual friends.

Something like this rapidly separates your real friends out from those who are just...not...really your friends. I would have thought that the woman I considered my closest girlfriend would have called to talk, but it has been three days and nary a peep. I didn't even add her back onto the journal.

 Meanwhile, some friends I have not heard from for four years are stepping forward to protect Mandy...I also decided to move my surgery back until December 19. There is only so much I can deal with at once.

I am trying to keep my Faith and not be vindictive, to see the Good that is still in this man, and realize that hatred and anger will not help the situation. Still, I want my children protected, and I want him to make restitution in the form of paying for their counseling. 

The police say we have a year to decide if we want to press charges.

Im so glad mandy stopped it and though it enver went farther I know that it still sickens her and makes her not want to trust. I can believe it was the "PERFECT" uncle . Man HOW aweful Im so sorry {{{HUGS}}}} to you and mandy. IN finally glad i got in here I dont know what hte deal was just one fo those buggy things. Poor tabby. Im so sorry HUG toyou all.
Comment from my78novata - 11/4/05 11:38 AM

 As I said in my email, I'm deeply saddend
to hear this news... As well as others...
I know you will do the right thing for your
girls and your family...Good Luck...
~Jennifer~
Comment from perkysgrl - 10/28/05 11:23 AM

i think it is so sad you cant trust anybody with your chldren anymore people think  you should watch the men but  women can be just as bad i learned that when i was little ..its a good thing mandy trusted  you to tell..when i was a little kid my mother  was single and i never told her counseling is a smart thing to do  maybe a support group ?i could tell you alot about this subject it happened to many times  to me growing up long story.but from what i have read you are a great mother you and mandy will get throught this god bless
Comment from lorettacook3 - 10/28/05 9:02 AM

oh Kas... it is sickening. I am sorry I wasn't here sooner. My love to the girls and I want to rip that bastard's testicles off right now. I know that you know this, but I will say it aloud anyway... the two biggest concerns are whether he has previously hurt any other children, and whether this act might embolden him to prey on other children.Your daughter was able to stop him, but another child might not. I am so sorry that this has happened in your family, the statistics are shocking and incredibly sad...... so many women are raped or abused in a lifetime, and you and I fit into several categories.I would like some time alone with "Ucle" but barring that, please let me know what I can do to help.My love to you all and I am so proud of your girls for telling you,
judi
Comment from judithheartsong - 10/27/05 4:52 PM

Sending prayers of healing and discernment your way.  -Kari
Comment from msyahtzee - 10/27/05 2:57 PM

Oh Kas, I just want to add my sorrow, too, that Mandy was abused, and Tabby had to hear about the sex addiction of such a trusted family member. It also makes me angry that he abused your trust. I will send energy,my way of praying, and hope that eventually it will be clear about prosecuting. Does he have any other families he is close with? Blessings to all of you. Margo
Comment from magogos - 10/27/05 2:39 PM

Kas, again, I am shocked and saddened for both you and your daughters.  YOU are a strong family and please know that your J-land family is here for you!  Wish I could personally give you a huge hug!  I know you will do all you can to see that this man is punished and your children will get all the help they need!  love to you and the girls, rose
Comment from rgossett4195 - 10/27/05 2:37 PM

I'm sorry kas <sigh>Thank you for letting me be a part of your private journal..
Donna In TEXAS
Comment from lacaza3 - 10/27/05 1:01 PM

Kas, as I told you ,in my email, my DD was sexually abused by her birth parents. She is still dealing with it, 11 years later.  They were not prosecuted because when  the DA was ready to talk to Nicole , she didn't want to.he was 7 at the time the Da wanted to talk.  A few years ago, while Nicole was at a Chess tournament, a father put his hands down her pants.  She told her sister, who told us and we did go to the police.  She felt so much more control over that, knowing she did what she could.  Unfortunately, it was a man , that we did not know, that she was unable to name but she felt so powerful being able to tell the police what happened.  Even though, I was not at the tournament, I felt so guilty for letting my daughters go someplace that was not safe for them. I also wanted to be with them every single minute and that is not good for them.  A horrid situation for a  girl/woman/mother to be in.
I was gang raped, at the age of 18.  I started to press charges, got as far as the preliminary hearing and then I dropepd it because the  rapists were starting to threaten my college suitemates.  I was scared.  I heard that someo of the rapists endedup in jail for brutally beating and raping someone else.  I felt so much guilt, wondering if I had done more, if she would have been safe. One thing I have learned, is that there are so many of us women out there who have been violated in one way or another.  We all need to stand and be there for each other!!!
Comment from mumma4evr - 10/27/05 8:46 AM

   you need to press charges so this doesn't happen again.  I am shocked.  the perfect uncle dave.  shocking.  was he a relative?  I always thought he was your brouther or hubbys brother.  kas i'm so sorry.  now that you are private, please keep us updated whenever you can.  
Comment from cneinhorn - 10/27/05 8:22 AM

I am so sorry that this happened to your family.  The whole trust thing.  Who do you trust?  Who can you trust?  I am glad that Mandy was brave enough to stop him.  You have taught her well to stand up for herself.  I don't blame you for changing the date of your surgery.  That was one of the things I thought about yesterday.  That is a lot to handle all at once.  How is your husband dealing with this?  {{{{{hugs}}}}}
Love, Traci
Comment from deshelestraci - 10/27/05 7:46 AM Oh Kas!!!     As you know, i was raped. By a family member. I read this and just about threw up. My heart is with Mandy and you. I am so very sorry my friend. So sorry. Words cant express the outrage and empathy i am feeling. Therapy is so right.....the loss of trust she is going to feel is going to be the worst thing. You are such a good mother to call the police and take action so quickly. You are all in my prayers. Love you, lisa jo
Comment from queeniemart - 10/27/05 7:27 AM

I'm agreeing that you press charges.  I wish I would have.  It may have helped with the anger and disappointment I had for so many years.  Please send Mandy AND Tabby more hugs from me.  While you are tryin to not be vindictive, know that you have a bunch of women who get your back in wanting to kick his ...well...::cough::  lots of love to you, K...~Amy
http://journals.aol.com/amy12389/SugarSpiceandEverythingNice/
Comment from amy122389 - 10/27/05 6:35 AM

More than likely this isn't the first young girl he has
been inpropriate with,Kas.  I would prosecute to the
fullest...that way you will be protecting other innocent
girls.  Again, I'm so very sorry to hear all this.
Love yaConnie
Comment from indigosunmoon - 10/27/05 5:05 AM   I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to the girls...and I am sorry to hear that someone you trusted so much would ever hurt your girls. One of the things I love most about your journal is Tabby's smile...it is one of pure joy and innocence....it makes me smile even on a bad day. I truly don't understand how anyone could ever hurt a child....my prayers are with you all!
Tracie
Comment from piperacharmed1 - 10/27/05 1:24 AM

I am so upset I can't think straight.  Somehow I KNEW it was that Weasel.y thoughts and prayers are with you Honey.  Check your email.Much Love,
Andi{{{{{{{{{Kas}}}}}}}}}}}
Comment from artloner - 10/27/05 12:58 AM

I can't understand what is going thru a man's head when he does something like that to young girl.  What is with people like that?  I am so sorry that your family is experiencing this.  I understand fully because I recently went thru something similar with my youngest.  It's heartbreaking.  I asked for restitution and I hope it's awarded to compensate us for doctor's appts, travel and my vacation time off work.  I am sure I will be awarded a good portion of that, but it's never enough to pay for the devastation the family faces, especially the victim.  Hugs, Lisa
Comment from cw2smom - 10/27/05 12:39 AM   I would encourage you to press charges. It is a terrible thing when a relative does something like that to a trusting child. My heart goes out to your whole family in this sad situation. You also have to grieve the loss of someone you loved and trusted. I am so sorry this happened to your family.xoxo
Comment from suzypwr - 10/26/05 11:35 PM

Kas, I am so sorry. My heart seized when I read the last entry. Somehow I knew who it was. What you must think of is this, if he did it to her is there any other young girls that something did happen too? Pressing charges and making sure that the public hears about it may be the only way to bring it out. On the other hand, his lawyers may retaliate by focusing attention on you. Give her a big hug for me. My daughter was molested and well.... charges were not pressed because they were going after me too and Candy did not want that.
Comment from csandhollow - 10/26/05 11:17 PM

I would most definately press charges...that way he might have to register as a sex offender...that is really sick and I am so sorry that it happened.  I am so glad she was able to stop it before it went any further....my thoughts are with you and your family as you go through this difficult time.
Comment from sugar1337 - 10/26/05 11:01 PM

  

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• #24 Comment from mutualaide 
  11/22/05 7:09 AM | Permalink

  Kas, I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner to offer my support and let you know you are all in my prayers.  This is just too terrible for words.  I know Mandy will be fine, and Tabby too, they have a strong, wonderful mother who will dig deep to be as strong as she needs to for them.  I'm sure their dad will too.
• #23 Comment from my78novata 
  11/4/05 11:38 AM | Permalink

  Im so glad mandy stopped it and though it enver went farther I know that it still sickens her and makes her not want to trust. I can believe it was the "PERFECT" uncle dave. Man HOW aweful Im so sorry {{{HUGS}}}} to you and mandy. IN finally glad i got in here I dont know what hte deal was just one fo those buggy things. Poor tabby. Im so sorry HUG toyou all.
• #22 Comment from perkysgrl 
  10/28/05 11:23 AM | Permalink

  As I said in my email, I'm deeply saddend
  to hear this news... As well as others...
  
  I know you will do the right thing for your
  girls and your family...
  
  Good Luck...
  
  ~Jennifer~
• #21 Comment from lorettacook3 
  10/28/05 9:02 AM | Permalink

   i think it is so sad you cant trust anybody with your chldren anymore people think  you should watch the men but  women can be just as bad i learned that when i was little ..its a good thing mandy trusted  you to tell..when i was a little kid my mother  was single and i never told her counseling is a smart thing to do  maybe a support group ?i could tell you alot about this subject it happened to many times  to me growing up long story.but from what i have read you are a great mother you and mandy will get throught this god bless
• #20 Comment from judithheartsong 
  10/27/05 4:52 PM | Permalink

  oh Kas... it is sickening. I am sorry I wasn't here sooner. My love to the girls and I want to rip that bastard's testicles off right now.
  
  I know that you know this, but I will say it aloud anyway... the two biggest concerns are whether he has previously hurt any other children, and whether this act might embolden him to prey on other children.
  
  Your daughter was able to stop him, but another child might not. I am so sorry that this has happened in your family, the statistics are shocking and incredibly sad...... so many women are raped or abused in a lifetime, and you and I fit into several categories.
  
  I would like some time alone with Uncle Dave, but barring that, please let me know what I can do to help.
  My love to you all and I am so proud of your girls for telling you,
  judi