Hestia Homeschool for Young Wild Women

I know I am blogging compulsively about this, but it does help me clear my mind and it also serves as a good place to keep all comments and thoughts so if I need them if we go to trial I won't have forgotten anything with my leaky memory. I am also well aquainted with repression, and I assume Mandy will start repressing some memories so she will be able to get on with her daily life.I called 911 and reported this. We asked for a woman officer, but there were none on duty. So we then asked for the K-9 officer, because we have met him before and he is a nice grandatherly sort of man.  I told him when he came to our house that part of the reason we asked for him is because his dog loves him so much. Animals are good judges of character.He was stiffer in the beginning, but later sat down and told us about his step daughter, who had been molested by her father and who recently died as a result of drug abuse. I told him she was probably self medicating. He is very concerned that more happened than Mandy is telling us, but I don't think so.Mandy shared a story that The Molester told her about a client who had been incestually abused by her father. He said he helped her come to an understanding that her and her father had needed each other at a vulnerable time in their lives and had taken comfort in each other physically.This makes me want to vomit.The police officer looked about the same way.Tabby told him about the dinner out to Don Pablos, where The Molester brought up our dear friend   and told Tabby that she is a sex addict. She isn't!  And what was he doing talking about an adult friend of Tabitha's that way!  He brought up vibrators and sex toys with Tabby, telling her that adult women must have their toys!   What was he thinking?  The police officer looked very concerned.The officer did mention that there are always two sides to every story and that when the detectives talk to The Molester that he will probably say she led him on.  I told him The Molester had said in an email that Mandy flirted with him.Mandy blurted out, "Eww!!  Like I would flirt with an old man like that!  Eww! He's like fifty or something! "(I had to smother a smile then, because the officer was about that age.)

 I woke up today thinking about you guys. I feel so sad for your girls. I wish there was something I could do to help! ryanagi - 10/30/05 2:34 PM

 that is a very good question that I do not know the answer to....... unfortunately, both concepts are not the 'norm' in this society (I think they are BETTER than the norm) and some people want to take potshots at those of us who think outside the box.Could you get some legal advice?judi
 judithheartsong - 10/29/05 1:21 PM

Kas, I am just now getting caught up on blogging, and I cannot tell you how saddened I am by all of this.  You and your wonderful family are in my prayers.  Thank you for including me in your private readers.sistercdr - 10/28/05 10:54 PM

   Kas.. as a sexual abuse survivor I think the biggest victory was when I understood i did nothing wrong.. the other men were sick.... I fear being around men save my husband now and I am 47 years old... it is a tough thing to get over... I am praying for Mandy and tabby... goodness we can only hope Shelby has no ill effects she can not verbalize...Tell Mandy how much I think of her and I know she is going to be in a place of compassion as a police officer some day where she can be with women or girls who are going through this horrible ordeal int heir lives...You take care Kas... I wish I lived closer to be at the party...here it is Fri... and I go to a recovery group....but most of my problems came from parents who treated the abuse like a pink elephant in the middle of the living room that everyone walked around and refused to acknowledgeMy thoughts are with youLove,Lea leleanna - 10/28/05 10:43 PM

I think you should keep the journal open as evidence for your family and how close and caring yall all are to one another....that way you can show the damage it has done to your girls.  But it is a good thing that you made it a private journal that way he can't continue an online relationship with your family. sugar1337 - 10/28/05 9:53 PM

 Having read thru the last few entries... and getting more angry with each one... I have to say I think it is good that you went private, and I agree with what someone else said about getting a restraining order NOW! I'm so sorry that this happened to your girls, but I am also glad that they stopped it before it could be worse.... You and your family are and will continue to be in my thoughts.Oh, and thank you for trusting me enough to include me in your private readers. astaryth - 10/28/05 8:48 PM

   It's good you made this private.  And keep sharing your feelings here.  Nothing wrong with how you are raising your kids either.  I extended breastfed (3 years) and my little one sleeps in my bed, not always, but often enough.   cneinhorn - 10/28/05 2:27 PM

First of all, making your journal private was one of the best things you could have done... It doesn't allow him to have access to your life anymore.  By the way, if you haven't already, you might want to change your locks on the house and the car (if that is possible).Get a restraining order now... Don't wait.  The police probably have enough with your statements to get one.And the way your raise your children- the breastfeeding, family bed, letting Shelby run around naked-is nothing that they could use on you.  Do you realize that many many families do that???  I let my almost 4 year old run around naked all the time... Our kids sleep with us.  I don't think anyone has or will look at your family any different??Good Luck again... I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
~Jennifer~ perkysgrl - 10/28/05 11:41 AM   I cried reading the last few entries....I was hoping it was a one time thing (The man touching her)....I feel as if I know you and your family through your journal...I hurt for the girls...no one should have to go through what they have been through. I hope therapy helps them. I know you feel guilty for bringing him into their lives...I would feel the same....but you had no way of knowing....don't beat yourself up over it. My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this time.
Tracie piperacharmed1 - 10/28/05 1:05 AM

 I'm so sorry for whatever is going on. I think it's a good idea to make your journal private. Sympathetic blessings to you and yours. I hope things get better. jadzia7667 - 10/28/05 12:24 AM

Here’s what I think:I got your e-mail late Tuesday night (after learning I had failed an exam for the first time ever and so was already in a bad mood) and it’s taken several days for all of it to sink in, also being distracted with school.I was at work, early in my shift, and I kept thinking about it and thinking that I should call, and finally I just did. After speaking to you and realizing the full impact it was having on Mandy and the family, I felt terrible. I had a horrible, heavy, sick spirit and I wanted to cry.This makes me FURIOUS beyond words and additionally furious to think that he felt he had the right to speak about my mother that way--gossiping about her behind her back with an eleven-year-old. I have no words to express the sympathy I have for Mandy.The curious thing is that I never felt very comfortable with him I signed it off as A) not having spent a lot of time around him, or B) my own way of being uncomfortable and untrusting of men I’m not familiar with. Now I wonder if perhaps I sensed something? No way to tell, I guess.I love your blog and always have. Not having your online presence to tell me what is happening in your daily life will feel like cutting you out of my life. Keeping that in mind, I would suggest that you get a new blog or continue to keep this one private. You would have to take into consideration the fact that if you used your real name, and your daughters’ names, it may be possible for him to locate the new blog via Google.I want to keep your online presence in my life but you have to do whatever makes you and the girls feel safe.There are so many words I want to say to express everything that I feel about this situation but, as I said, there are just none. Please call me, cell phone or room phone, whenever you need anything and I’ll do my best to help out. I love you all so much and it makes me hurt so badly to think that this has happened to dear Mandy. seshathawk - 10/27/05 11:33 PM

 Everyone else said the things I was going to say.  And better than I would have.  I can't imagine you without a blog.  As the others said include me if you close this one.  More hugs for everyone.  You are a great parent.  Stay focused on the girls.  It all makes me so sad. I am rambling now.  
Love, Traci deshelestraci - 10/27/05 11:01 PM

 None of the things you mentioned are illegal or will harm children. It's your parenting style, done how you feel is the best for your family. What he did is illegal. No comparison. If you start another blog, please include me. I don't see the relevance of your parenting style to his child abuse. I agree with Remo about his computer, but the police will think of it, I am sure.
xoxo suzypwr - 10/27/05 10:08 PM

   I would hate to lose you and your blog because of a perverted betrayer, but you need to do what you think is best. Ironically, I think you are raising your children as well as anyone I know, and wish I could do it over again, with your family as a model.Can the police get your keys back? Margo magogos - 10/27/05 9:57 PM

   Don't allow yourself to be victimized in secondary situations, such as closing your blog. Keep it private, if you must, but don't stop writing your feelings. If an attorney wants to get a court order to get at the contents of your journal, so be it. I think the pervert needs to have his computer seized for a forensic examination by a trained specialist. If your local PD doesn't have one, get the State Police Crime Lab involved.
Stay strong. Stay focused. Stay involved. screaminremo303 - 10/27/05 9:56 PM

 Honestly, since it is private now, there would be no way for anyone to read the contents.... unless they are on your reader list.I'm quite sure, knowing how lawyers operate, that any knowledge he had of your family, he will tell his attorney.  But, in defense, there is nothing wrong with extended breastfeeding, family beds, or how your toddler is dressed (or not).
The only way I could see Shelby's non-dress be an issue, is if she was outside in the winter, naked.  Which, we all know, is absurd!So, the choice is yours... if it makes you feel comfortable, then close it to be sure :)I am glad he didn't get to Shelby, though~ not implying what he's done to Tabby and Mandy isn't bad enough... just that they can defend themselves!  
I, for one, hope you can keep this blog going.  But I certainly understand if you cannot....Cat childebrand1968 - 10/27/05 9:28 PM

   This man is an adult, your children are not.  No matter what, he is the one responsible and should be held responsible.  I can understand your concern about access to this journal.  I would hate to see it go but you have to do what is best for your family, and I know you will.  Opening another journal is always an option.  I am so sorry your family is going through this.  I am holding you all in my prayers.  -Karimsyahtzee - 10/27/05 9:12 PM

 I would hate to see this blog go Kas, but I think that in
circumstances like this, that guy is probably going to
do everything in his power to prove that this was all
your daughters fault.  It isn't.  He is the adult here, and
he should know better.  But, regardless, you know
lawyers, and some of them fight really dirty.
Kas, I'm so sorry this has happened.  It just makes me
so sick to my stomach.  You have such a precious family,
and to think someone has violated one of your own...well,
it's just awful.  I can only hope that this guy gets what
he deserves.Love youConnieindigosunmoon - 10/27/05 8:24 PM

ohh, Kas...words cannot express the range of emotions I feel, so I can only imagine yours.
Do you really think it would go that far that he would be grasping at straws (your journal)?  How very very sad....that now you have to second guess your actions because of some jackass.  :-/  (there...I said it, you don't have to.  :-)  )
~Amy amy122389 - 10/27/05 7:45 PM

   well even If , and that is a very big if she did flirt - and let me make it clear i do not believe it- he too damn old to even go there. Hello can we say jailbait ???? can we say pervert ???? can we say kiss your job goodbye ???? they always want to lay the blame on the victim......
I think it is better safe then sorry about the blog....
 apropst1 - 10/27/05 6:45 PM

  

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• #21 Comment from my78novata 
  11/4/05 11:47 AM | Permalink

  OH i hope you keep it open. I think even if you close it that it can still be found in cyeber space . I htink that was on CSI one time.
• #20 Comment from ryanagi 
  10/30/05 2:34 PM | Permalink

  I woke up today thinking about you guys. I feel so sad for your girls. I wish there was something I could do to help!
• #19 Comment from judithheartsong 
  10/29/05 1:21 PM | Permalink

  that is a very good question that I do not know the answer to....... unfortunately, both concepts are not the 'norm' in this society (I think they are BETTER than the norm) and some people want to take potshots at those of us who think outside the box.
  Could you get some legal advice?
  judi
• #18 Comment from sistercdr 
  10/28/05 10:54 PM | Permalink

  Kas, I am just now getting caught up on blogging, and I cannot tell you how saddened I am by all of this.  You and your wonderful family are in my prayers.  Thank you for including me in your private readers.
• #17 Comment from leleanna 
  10/28/05 10:43 PM | Permalink

  Kas.. as a sexual abuse survivor I think the biggest victory was when I understood i did nothing wrong.. the other men were sick....
  I fear being around men save my husband now and I am 47 years old... it is a tough thing to get over...
  I am praying for Mandy and tabby... goodness we can only hope Shelby has no ill effects she can not verbalize...
  
  Tell Mandy how much I think of her and I know she is going to be in a place of compassion as a police officer some day where she can be with women or girls who are going through this horrible ordeal int heir lives...
  
  You take care Kas... I wish I lived closer to be at the party...here it is Fri... and I go to a recovery group....but most of my problems came from parents who treated the abuse like a pink elephant in the middle of the livingroom that everyone walked around and refused to acknowledge
  
  My thoughts are with you
  
  Love,
  Lea