abominations

Dear Bible-experts,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support, say, a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage, or a petition to ban nudity, or elect a president like George W. Bush. I know you folks have told me, time and time again, "in the eyes of God, marriage is based between a man and a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. Some day, if I have a daughter, I would like to sell her into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness -Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? I think theyre heathens...

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? The last time I brought this matter up to the local police, they just laughed at me.

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:16-20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glassesand occasionally contact lenses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle Joe has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us (on a routine basis, lest we sinners forget,) that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

This entry has 6 comments:

what about those bunnies...don't they chew their cuds, according to t he bible???
Becky
Comment from mumma4evr - 2/22/06 8:14 AM

my78novata

http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind

http://adventuresofaneclecticmind.blogspot.com/

astaryth

thesheatons

ryanagi

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This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)

#1 Comment from immerhawk
2/28/06 10:06 PM | Permalink

I know some people I'd like to *staple* this to... :)

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abominations