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6:18:00 AM EDT
Feeling Quiet
update
Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all.
-Buddha
I want to thank those of you who comforted me when I was distressed a few days ago, both on my journal and by email when it apparently it would not let people comment.
Sometimes I am hesitant to write about darker things on here...I am a happy go lucky soul for the most part, but I think I would be doing homeschooling a disservice to present it as always occurring in a happy well functioning family with an untraumatized mom. For the most part it is, but my family is strong enough to weather these little incidents with no undue stress.
Thankfully, things appear to be getting better, although I fell down the steps today on the way to Tabby's birthday party. My knee is swollen, my ankle is bruised, my back hurts like the dickens and my wrist hurts. I am a weenie when it comes to pain, I fear. David was right behind me when I fell and ran with ice right away, which no doubt helped a great deal.
Falling was the wake-up call I needed to do something about the PTSD. I have a tendency to get physically hurt when I am having a Bad Period with trauma. It is a natural result of dissociating and not paying attention to what my body is doing. The most helpful thing I have learned to deal with dissociation was Aikido. Maybe I will start training again, but David is afraid I will get hurt. Maybe I will return to Tai Chi, which, alas, is not as fun as Aikido but lots less demanding.
Thankfully, I will have time to ride this week, too. Spending time with horses is very good for the soul.
I will say this, my marriage is better than it has been in about ten years. It never was bad,but I am very happy wight now and David seems to be as well...
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it is always so good to heara obut good marriages!
Becky -
Glad you are feeling better hon, sometimes all it takes is taking the pain out into the light of day and sharing it! Isn't it wonderful to have a great mate!!??? And simply enjoying each other! love, Rose
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Sometimes it takes awhile to get your mind back into a happy flow when it has been stressed. I hope your start feeling better from your fall too.
http://blog.myspace.com/poptartcoco -
Aww...not to worry, Kas...we all know you need a little rain to get the rainbow... :) I've finally started to embrace my darkness... Hee...
gentle hugs your way...
~Amy
7/18/06 9:14 AM