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5:35:00 PM EDT
Question one: Could I kill?
Lori asks:
Would you be able to kill someone if your child's life were at stake and the intruder was going to kill them if it was them or your child??????
Before I started answering these questions, I asked my daughters if they knew the answers. To this first one, they laughed and laughed. They said that the person asking it had never met me in real life, right? I am EXTREMELY protective of my children. There is no doubt that I would kill someone who was hurting them....the major reason I started training in martial arts was that I realized when Tabby was born that I could not run with two children in my arms. I would have to stand and fight if they were threatened. In Tai Chi I learned very quickly how easy it is to kill another person. Human life is very fragile. By the time I was training in Aikido at Aikido of Cincinnati, I had learned that it is not necessary to sink to the lowest common denominator--the aggressor--most of the time to defend yourself. I would kill someone only if there was no other choice. Of course, in battle for your child's life, there might not be a lot of choice.
We do not have a gun. I would have to kill someone with my hands, the jo (wooden staff) I keep in my bedroom, or a knife. I do know from the time I spent training that in certain situations I would act in response to a threat. I also know that it is very unlikely to occur. Most of the times it is very easy to avoid a fight.
When I learned that Mandy had been molested by my best friend, it was very very hard not to seek vengeance and want to destroy his life as much as possible. I really had to struggle with the desire to inflict pain for pain's sake, to remember my own humanity and to remember that revenge is not a worthy goal. I am not a saintly person, and it was hard. I still struggle with it--as do my daughters--and the pain of betrayal of trust, and the fact that I loved this man and he hurt my child...it is very hard. But I would not kill unless there was no other option.
I do have an advantage over most people in that I have been in a life and death situation. I write about having survived a rape, but it was a physical assault as much as a rape. I know howquickly things can turn--that it is not like on television, where fights take forever. One minute I was standing, and seconds later I was laying on the ground with a fractured jaw and skull. So, I know that it is necessary to be very alert and be willing to respond immediately. If the girls were threatened, I would have to act very quickly.
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well, I have thought about it very seriously over and over again throughout the years...
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Very well reasoned out answer.
Traci
8/6/06 4:16 PM