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5:25:00 AM EDT
Feeling Mischievous
the question game" divorce?
Tracie asks:
Do you ever worry about you and your husband divorcing?
No, not very often at all. About a year and a half ago he went through a very grouchy period complicated by lack of sleep issues, and that is the only time divorce has ever been mentioned by either of us in twenty five years. We really are well suited for each other in a comfortable way--and after so many years I know him pretty well. I don't think either of us can imagine splitting up our family.
The problem then was that I was not respecting his need for uninterrupted sleep during the day. I was having health issues that lead to my hysterectomy, and not wanting to give up the good bed when he came home from working a ten hour shift all night. We got that straightened out, and now I think things are better than they have been in about fifteen years or so. I also felt betrayed that he had not supported me more against his family when the whole Bush/the draft fiasco birthday party thing happened, but I had to let that go. It was not fair to expect him to chose between his family and me...even though I wanted him to.
I would say that in any problem between us, it often boils down to me needing to let go of a grudge or an expectation, and on his part, not expressing himself well enough that I understand what he needs. The classic Mars/Venus thing.
For my part, as long as I remember to nurture him the way I do any child (make sure they have enough to eat and sleep), met his other needs (hehehe) and try to carve out time for us to spend alone, we are very happy together. We have always gotten along better the MORE time we spend together, so if things get out off the track, a family vacation or even a night out to dinner makes us remember why we like each other.
Liking is different from love.
I always love him, but sometimes I like him more than others.
I do like David most of the time. He is very funny and when he is rested enough he is playful. We have the same political views, almost, I am more to the left than he is on most issues, and he is more pro-choice than I am. We like the same things--nature, kids, good food.
Problems in our relationship tend to revolve around money (he makes it, I don't earn any outside of the home) and the kids (he is too soft on Tabby and too hard on Mandy, I am too hard on Tabby and too soft on Mandy).
But none of our problems would lead to us breaking up our family, I think.
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that was so much fun courtney and chelsea liked it a lot
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"Liking is different from love." How true it is. I've often said it's easier to love someone than like them. It's great when you have both these feelings towards your mate. It's one of the "secrets" to a successful, long-term relationship!
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very insightful answer. i can say we share the same viewpoint on most of this, right down to the mars/venus thing!
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your husband sounds like me and my husband...I can't imagine life without him...
However I look forward to getting back to working and miaking my own money so to speak..
donna In TEXAS
8/19/06 11:53 AM