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6:11:00 AM EDT
Feeling Happy
a spot of tea, dearie
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.
-Storm Jameson
When I was in college I had the fortunate experience of meeting Mary, who was a grown woman who had come back to college to get an education as an adult. She majored in Anthropology--as did I--and was already the mother of (I think) eight children, although it might have been eleven.
Mary was "African American", but back in the seventies when I met her we called her black. She also was from Wales. Her father had been African, and he had married a white Welsh woman. Mary has the most lyrical lilting voice. Wales is famous for their lilt, and Mary's voice was no exception.
We both got jobs at a urban Shelter for runaway children, and I think people were always surprised to hear this lilting Celtic voice on the phone--expecting Mary Poppins-- and then see what looked like an ordinary black woman in jeans.
Mary was anything but ordinary.
Every day Mary would make us a "spot of tea, dear" and we would drink it and I would learn from her how to handle the kids...who were barely younger than myself. I was from such a dysfunctional background myself that her calm, easygoing, but take no crap way of dealing with teens stood me in good stead. We were Vistas...the "domestic Peace Corps."AmeriCorps
Mary also helped me to learn more about ethnocentrism, and underlying unconscious racism, and patience, and bi-racial people--which later helped when my little brother was born. She pointed out to me that Prince was biracial, and she taught me how she balanced both worlds.
She taught me a great deal. I miss her. I should try to look her up. It has been twenty years, but she is probably still around here.
My own children love tea parties, and recently Tabby did me proud when she invited Sierra over for tea..anddelighted the little ones with fancy food...and a spot of tea.
Hugs to you Mary and Roy, my dearie, wherever you are.
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Ya it definately wouldn't be too hard to find her online more than likely. Sounds like you have pleasant memories of your friend! :)
http://blog.myspace.com/poptartcoco -
As I get rooms cleaned I'll take pictures for you.
Right now it looks like a tornado ripped through.
The wee table by the window is dropped leaf. It folds out, so that kids can move homeschooling projects off the bigger table onto it when we need to eat.
I got it at a thrift shop for twenty dollars---and the little gold velvet chairs at a yard sale for two dollars each!!
love, Kas -
Mary identified herself as Welsh. She was aware of her African heritage, but she was definitely Welsh.
I just loved how shocked people were when they expected a proper British person, and there was a Black woman standing there. hehehe
Of course, her children were being raised in a tough neighborhood in a culture that is hard on people of color, so racial issues were very important to her. -
She sounds Welsh to me, not African. It's odd how we see these things, isn't it? I once asked Child what she would call an Italian living in Britian. She said Italian-American, without thinking. I would say Italian, period. The book I was reading said Italian-British. Why we need these labels at all is beyond me, other than many people are very proud of their heritage.
xoxo
10/21/06 10:35 PM
Traci