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MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS!!

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Monday, April 7, 2008 DAMN THIS BIPOLAR >
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April 2008
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4/8/08
FEEL SO ALONE
4/7/08
I DID IT
« April 2008 Archive
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
7:36:00 AM EDT
Feeling Sad

FEEL SO ALONE

                       

                              HELLO JOURNAL...

              TO FINISH MY STORY SAD BUT TRUE

SO THE SHERIFFE GAVE THAT OPTION U GO WITH THE SQUAD OR I WILL HAND CUFF YOU AND TAKE YOU...I TOLD HIM HALF OUT OF MY MIND AND HALF WAY ASLEEP  I TOLD HIM  YOU CAN"T DO THAT...HE REPLIED OOO BUT YES I CAN!!! SO OFF THEY TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL!!!

THEY STUCK ME WITH NEEDLES THEY PUT ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT STICKY TABS ON ME AND THEN ALL KINDS OF WIRES...OOO OK THIS ISNT BAD YEA RIGHT....

HERE THEY COME AND RUN THIS BIG ASS TUBE DOWN MY NOSE INTO MY STOMACH AND BEGAN PUMPING THE PILLS OUT..THEN PUMPED IN THE CHARCOLE TO TRY TO ABSORBED THE DANGER OF THE  PILLS DAMAGEING MY LIVER.. THATS THE WORSED KIND OF FEELING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED..AND THE SIDE AFFECTS OF THE CHARCOLE ISNT PLEASANT EITHER

POOPING BLACK AND VOMITING BLACK CHARCOLE ISNT PLEASUREABLE BELIEVE ME 

OK IM OUT OF THE HOSPITAL NOW ...ONLY BEEN A COUPLE DAYS..BUT IM ATTENDIND A OUTPATIENT PARTIAL HOSPITALIZATION PROGRAM....

HOPING TO GO BACK TO WORK SATURDAY...GEE WHATS MY CO WORKERS GOING THINK OF ME NOW!!!!!



Written by hope4meeeee Blog about this entry
This entry has 15 comments: (Add your own)
  • #15 Comment from ceilisundancer 
    5/12/08 4:05 PM | Permalink
    Who the heck cares what they think -- in a way.  HOPEFULLY, they will all either just say welcome back, or ask about work, or even be supportive and give you hugs.  I hope you can find life worth living, and that the unbearable parts can become more bearable.

    Besides, you are about to have two grandbabies, and they'll want to know their grandma.  I hope you can stay strong and hang in there.
  • #14 Comment from lurkynat 
    5/3/08 7:04 PM | Permalink
    love and hugs
    natalie
  • #13 Comment from pprrrr39 
    4/12/08 7:15 AM | Permalink
    Sounds like an awful experience that i would not want again.

    I would not worry about what your co-workers think, hold you head up high.

    I think one of the first things that you have done is told people what happened ( in your journal) and i think that is the first step to help. There are plenty of people in JLand who are here for you to lend an ear to listen to, a shoulder to cry on.etc.

    Please take care
    hugs Jayne
  • #12 Comment from pamal3 
    4/10/08 3:29 PM | Permalink
    Hello hope. I came here by way of Lori and was very sad to see your story. There are so many good people here In journal land able and very willing to be there for you at this awful time. Remember the old saying: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me? Well, It really doesn't matter what anybody says at your work or anywhere else come to think of It. You have to focus on You, and getting better. One day at a time. Love Pam xx
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/pamal3/almost-40/
  • #11 Comment from specialadyfink 
    4/10/08 1:48 PM | Permalink
    Well ya know to heck with what others think-it's what you think that's important.No one should ever feel so alone that they want to just end it.I wish I could give you some magic words to heal your soul -your very being,but I can't-I can only hope and pray that you come though this torment with good thoughts about yourself and life and begin to enjoy what this world has to offer.We are only here for a fleeting moment as it is-we get one ride and we need to enjoy it for all it's worth.
    Many big hugs and prayers coming your way.
    Connie
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