Happy Thoughts

6:55:43 PM EDT

                    

Well, I was totally convinced that it was going to pour with rain today so I packed Cookie up and headed to the park early so we could get in a quick walk.

We had a very pleasant morning. It was cool and very nice, about 65 degrees. I stopped at a McDonald's on the way and got my "free" chicken biscuit (for $1.40). It was fine. I had a few bites of it and gave most of it to Cookie. She thought that was a real treat!

We had a very nice walk around the park. The usual group of school kids were there but they stay in the playground area so the don't bother us on the trail. We had a nice walk and the rain that I was so convinced was coming never materialized.

On the way back, I stopped at the bank and visited with my $$$. The tellers there all know Cookie and a couple of them even came outside and petted her. They usually give her a dog biscuit when I go to the drive-through window.

Still no rain. Once I got home and dropped Cookie off, it was still early, just 11:30. I had a bee in my bonnet to have yummy Greek salad for lunch so I changed my clothes and turned around and headed back out. But when I got to the Greek salad place, they were so full, there was not a single table in the place so I didn't got there. The same thing happened when I went to Plan B Place. So I finally gave up and wound up going to the same place I went to lunch yesterday. I had a black bean burger. It was very good but I am getting kinda tired of that place. If I go out to lunch tomorrow, I will NOT go there.

I wandered around Fashion Island for about an hour and a half. I went to Penney's (didn't buy anything) and Ulta (didn't buy anything). But I killed sometime. I stopped on the way home and bought my one lottery ticket for $2. And that was it.

Ithas been a quiet evening. I made hubby BBQ chicken. corn and pasta for his dinner, I had a delicious BLT. I found some turkey bacon and it is soooooo yummy. And it cooks up perfectly in the microwave. Cookie and I had it for dinner last night. She thought it was yummy too.

I still feeling like I am crawling out from under a rock. Last week was horrible. I just felt like a train wreck and I feel like my enthusiasm for everything has just fallen off a notch or two. I keep telling myself I am not going to get excited about anything because nothing ever works out the way I want it to anyway. I feel like I have just sort of given up a little bit. I am not sure of what precipitated all of this (I have my theories but I won't go into it here) but last week was perfectly horrible. I am feeling better now but much more subdued. I'll just sit here on the computer or do my crossword puzzles or read my book. That's it.

And that is it. My friend's mother who had the terrible accident on Mother's Day isn't doing so great (80 years old and had a TV and a dresser fall on her). I hope she gets better. The doctors did make a pointof saying that she was going to get worse before she got better and it looks like they were right about the first half. Now I hope they are right about the second half of their theory.

And.....(a whole different line of thought here) I am feeling VERY fat. Even though I am walking a good bit, I have not made it to the gym. My enthusiasm for that has waned as well > I don't know. I really don't .

Okay....it was an okay day. Not great. But at least it wasn't a horrible black hole.

Bye bye for now.

zGood night.

 

                        

 

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7:02:22 PM EDT

                                            

Well, I must admit, we had one of the WORST lunches today that we have had in a very long time. Hubby chose the downtown IHOP. We had lunch (not pancakes or eggs but lunch) and it was awful. The food was 'okay' but the waitress barely spoke English, she got my husband's order wrong which upset him, they bring you so much food it just become unappetizing and I wasn't terribly hungry to begin with so it all amounted to an awful, expensive unappetizing lunch. For another $5, we could have gone to any of the nicest restaurants in town, had a delicious lunch with a server who spoke English and enjoyed it. Ugh. What a fiasco.

After our disastrous lunch, we went to the range. He went and shot and I went and had coffee and a cookie at the local coffee house a few blocks away. It was good. Better than lunch had been! I stopped at the Pet Shelter Thrift Shop just to kill 10 minutes but I really wasn't terribly interested in anything there. I was just killing time. I went back and picked him up. Our friend there asked us if we wanted to take  day trip to Charleston on Monday. We said that would be fine, so we have that tentatively planned. Charleston is very nice. It is only about 90 minutes away and it is a beautiful city. We can have a nice lunch, do a little shopping and maybe drive over the Cooper River Bridge. We'll see if the trip materializes. These things tend to be tentative.

That was it, We stopped at WalMart and picked up $35 worth of stuff. I cannot believe that Coburg milk (a local brand) is $6.00 a gallon. That is just depressing. $6.00 a gallon. FOR MILK!!!! JEeEEeeeEEeezzzzzzzz! What if you have 3 kids? Give me a break. Please. Prices are just getting ridiculous and crazy.

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Television.

A few random thoughts about television. I have pretty much given up television. Not totally but I have just had enough of the constant drone, trying to be interested in watching endless reruns of shows that I have seen over and over and over again. Frankly, I've just lost interest in it. Yes, I have gone cold turkey, just like I did with buying lottery tickets. I just stopped. Just like the lottery tickets, it's pointless and accomplishes nothing. Now, not 100%. I would never even try to admit that. I will still watch in the wee hours of the morning when I wake up and can't go back to sleep. And I will still watch at 6:00 in the morning when I am drinking my coffee and checking CNN to see if the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. But now...this 7-10 time that I hate so much. TV.? Not interested anymore.

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That's it. It is quiet. I was thinking about giving Cookie a bath but I can do that tomorrow. I will read my book with the awful title and just have a quiet evening. I made sweet potatoes and corn and pork chops for dinner. I had some crackers and juice. I couldn't eat much after our awful lunch.

Okay......gotta go for now.

Tired and .......well, just tired.

Good night.

                        

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8:52:27 AM EDT

            

Okay..it has been a moderately busy morning.
I took the kind suggestions of a couple of thoughtful people out there and rearranged the flowers on the little doggie's grave. It is much better now and I have restored the symmetry. I am sure my crazy friend will be offended no matter how I try to explain to her how much it bugged me (It wasn't that she put the flowers out, it was that it messed up the symmetry and how it looked) because she will say that I am a control freak and I always have to have things my way. Be that as it may, I am much happier now because I have restored the balance to the little arrangement. I know I sound like Monk here but it was REALLY bothering me, every time I looked at it. It's fixed now.

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Hiking boots:

I have FINALLY decided for sure that it is time to retire my 8 year old hiking boots. My heels hurt a lot anyway all the time but they seem to hurt MORE whenever I wear those old boots. We went to the park yesterday and walked two miles. I wore my Ryka walking shoes instead of those old boots and while my heels still hurt, they didn't hurt nearly as bad. I think it is time the boots are retired. I don't feel the need to run out and replace them right now, I am just going to stop wearing them. I may just put them in the Goodwill pile so I won't be able to get to them anymore. (The rule is: Once something goes in the Goodwill bag, you are NOT allowed to take it out again unless you have special dispensation from the Pope).

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That's it. I got everyone fed and taken care of early. I will put the cockatiels back outside this morning. It has been cool in the mornings but by 11:00 it warms right up. It looks like it is going to be a beautiful day.

I suppose we will do a regular Tuesday today. Cookie is looking forward to Day Care and we will do lunch and go to the range. I don't think I will shoot today. I need a break from shooting for a while. I am pretty much burned out on all the testosterone that reeks from that range and hubby is turning into a closet Range Commando even though he refuses to admit it. I just need a break. I will go and have coffee or go to the Voo Doo store. I don't know where we will have lunch. Today is his day to pick. We went to Maurice's BBQ yesterday and it was very good. Cheap ($3.75 for fried chicken, FF and cole slaw) and tasty.

That's it. I suppose I will take a quick shower and get dressed. Everyone else has been taken care of and it is almost 9:00.

Bye for now.

Bye bye

                                     

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8:23:20 PM EDT

  Okay...here's my question:

Remember my little dog who died couple of weeks ago? Well, I had a nice little grave for her and I put a little angel doggie on it (it was something really corny that I would NEVER do) and some nice little flowers. It looked very nice and I liked it.

Now, a friend of mine who I have known for a very long time came over Saturday and without asking or saying anything brought flowers and planted them on the little doggie grave.

Now, I know she loved the dog and I know she didn't mean any harm by doing that BUT I just found it very upsetting. I had it the way I liked and it was symmetrical and pretty.

I tried going and getting a few more flowers to get the symmetry back but it just doesn't look as nice. It really bothers me. I didn't say anything because I have learned to pick my battles and I know my friend loved the little dog but she was MY dog.  

Am I overreacting????? Or am I just totally losing it here? (All over a couple of poorly placed but well intentioned flowers.)

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8:03:30 PM EDT

 

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Well, we have had a couple of cool pleasant days. although I am sure that it will be warming up again very soon.
It is supposed to go down to 48 tonight. I brought the cockatiels inside and I gave Persimmon her fresh new bale of straw that I'd been hanging on to.

Yesterday was okay. I just couldn't bring myself to the gym, so I just did my usual wandering around aimlessly. I actually forgot that it was Mother's Day. The restaurants were insane and the traffic on Two Notch was crazy. Even the little sandwich place where I went was crowded and it is not a fancy place where you'd take mom for Mother's Day/ But there was a very nice lady in line. She saw that I was by myself and let me go ahead of her....she had 9 people in her party and I was very grateful that she let me go in front. That was very kind of her and I did appreciate it.

Speaking of Mother's Day, a friend of mine (not my crazy friend, she's another story) e-mailed me this morning with an awful Mother's Day story. Her 80 year old mom lives alone and apparently, she was trying to get a few things out of the bottom drawer of a tall dressed and it toppled over. The TV that was on top of it hit her in the head and the dresser fell on her, trapping her legs. It happened Saturday and they didn't find her until Sunday morning. Wow. Scary as hell.  What a way to spend Mother's Day. But my friend says she's doing okay. She is in ICU and in serious condition but is apparently alert and in good spirits.  They think she is going to be okay but they had quite a scare.

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Today was okay. It started out quite cool. I put my electric blanket back on my bed last night and I was glad I did. It got chilly. We took Cookie to the park at 10:00 this morning and she had a nice walk. It was pleasant and she didn't get too hot. After our little walk, we stopped and had aquick lunch. We were able to leave her in the car for the 30 minutes while we ate but it was warming up fast so we didn't dawdle. She was fine, especially since we brought her some BBQ and a piece of fried chicken.

The rest of the day has been extremely quiet. I was going to give Cookie a bath but she has been sleeping off and on so I didn't want to drag her out from her bed just to stick her in the tub. I let her alone. Not much else went on. I watched You Tube videos and played on the computer. Dinner was very simple. I had the leftover macaroni and cheese and hubby had smoked sausage and orzo pasta. Even Cookie got a small piece of sausage (it was turkey sausage) and a couple of tablespoons of macaroni and cheese. It was simple and quick.

That's it. I have just decided that for now, I can't get excited about anything because it always seems that for years now, anything I get excited about just never works out. I think I will just not get excited about anything. It's just not worth the effort and the disappointment.

I will go to bed soon....We are supposed to do a regular Tuesday tomorrow, which means lunch and shooting and frankly I don't even want to shoot. I will just go and have coffee while he goes to the range. That is his thing and we always manage to do that regularly every single week...which is fine. What isn't fine is that he has absolutely NO interest in anything I want to do and never has. But don't get me started on that because this whole thing is what I am finding so upsetting. So I'll just move on. He has been very kind and concerned and asking me if I am okay. I've tried to explain to him that I can just feel my brain melting down with this isolation and inactivity. I have TOLD him that but he just doesn't get it.  He just does not get it. At all. I just feel like my enthusiasm for everything has been kicked down a notch.

That's it......I think I will read my horror story/ I finally picked upa John Saul book called "The Right Hand of Evil" (I know it's a creepy, awful title) but it's a pretty good book. I'm enjoying it.

Okay.....like I said don't get me started because, frankly. I am just about ready to give up on anything changing, I think I will read my book and get ready for bed.

Bye for now.

Bye bye.

Good night.

                                        

 

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8:23:45 AM EDT

                                           

"Where do you go and what do you do when you finally realize your dreams have disappeared?"

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7:49:30 AM EDT

                  

Well, it is absolutely POURING with rain this morning. And I feel like I am crawling out from under a rock after having been hit by a bus. Last week was a very difficult week for me and I think my whole attitude and outlook has changed. I am looking at things that I want very differently now. It just worked out that way and I have come to some realizations and certain difficult truths about my life. I needed a break to rethink and regroup and be able to function again. I'm just looking at things very differently now.

Yesterday was fine. We went to lunch at Icy's and it was delicious. I had a popcorn shrimp wrap and it was yummy.  It was entirely too hot to take Cookie to the park so we left her home and went out by ourselves. We had lunch and went to our favorite stores. I bought a pretty little bunny figurine and at the second store, I found a really nice denim vest.. I am really liking those because the look nice enough, the are not stifling hot in this 90 degree weather and they work perfectly for concealment.

We also went by Target where hubby bought me a really nice Inova LED flashlight. I like my Surefire light for the house but it is a tactical light and doesn't not lend itself to practical use. The Inova works much better. I can carry it on my belt or in my backpack or in my purse easily. i can't do that with the Surefire.

After dinner, it cooled off a bit so at 7:00, I took Cookie to the park for her walk. Hubby stayed home and sprayed the bees that have nested in one of the eaves of the house. I hated to kill them but they were becoming a problem when I went out on the porch or tried to feed the cats. 

The park was very nice. It was quite crowded (the entire parking lot was full) but I think there was a family reunion party going on. I took Cookie on her walk which she enjoyed. I have to remember to buy some bug spray though. In the evening, the mosquitos are fierce. But it was a fun time for Cookie. I didn't get home until nearly 9:00 which is late for me. The traffic on Two Notch was really bad. It is getting worse and worse.

Now it is POURING with rain. I don't think I am in a hurry to go anywhere. I don't need anything from the commissary today and I am not in a rush to drive onto post. I think I will just hang around here. I may go in and get a sandwich later and go to Target and Home Depot. 

That's it......Barney is on the TV and I have to go and change the channel before I go and use the Elvis channel changer on it.

Gotta go for now. I wish it would let up a little so I can get out and feed Persimmon.

Bye bye 

Gas? $3.59 yesterday. It's getting to where the price just doesn't matter anymore. They are going to jack it up as high as they can and we will continue to pay it. The way to make Americans deliriously happy? Give us cheap gas and we won't care about anything else.

I finally figured out that I get 22-25 mpg in my jeep.

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7:32:46 AM EDT

                             

      Nothing makes any difference anymore.

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7:13:08 PM EDT

This actually turned out to be a very pleasant day. I didn't want to go walking again (my heel is killing me and a day's rest tends to help a lot) so instead of going to the park, we took Cookie to day care and headed for Harbison.

We went to lunch at a place called Miyo's. It is a local place with 3 locations here. The one in Harbison is really pretty and very upscale. That's where we went. We were civilized looking and had a delicious lunch. I had a small salad with noodles and hubby had the Schezuan beef. It was really good. I had a little taste of it.

After lunch, we went to Dick's Sporting Goods. (Great store, unfortunate name) and we looked around there a little. We also went to the big B&N that is over there. We have a Books-a Zillion but no B&N. We didn't buy anything at either place but it was fun to look around.

The place we were really going was Sportsman's Warehouse. I wanted to get a big fanny pack with room for my keys, my cell phone, walkie-talkies and 2 water bottles for Cookie. They had exactly what I was looking for. It was a nice Kelty pack for $30. The prices went up dramatically after that to $50.$60 and $90. So I got that one and I think it will work just fine. It has a medium size compartment. two water bottles, a hip belt and a shoulder strap. I went ahead and got it since it was what I wanted.

We made our way back across town (Harbison is about 30 miles from where we usually shop) and ran down Two Notch. We stopped at WalMart to get coffee and fruit and the butcher shop to get bones for Cookie. (We have to have something to give her for her little pine cone extortion plan).

It was a very pleasant relaxing day. While we were at lunch, I had a long, serious talk with hubby. I told him that I was starting to feel seriously isolated out here and that I think we should give some serious consideration to moving somewhere where we have some human contact. I think  there is a fine line between privacy and isolation and I am feeling very isolated out here. Yes, it is quiet and private but there is nothing to do, we have no friends, no activities, we have to drive too far to do anything. And when we get there we have no one to do anything with. I would love to be able to play golf or tennis, or cards or bocci ball but I can't and I am continually frustrated. Hubby had NO interest in anything like that at all. I have begged him to do things but he won't. It's awful and very frustrating.I can feel my brain turning to mush and if I have to continue this way until I am 65, I won't make it much further than that.  

He doesn't care because he can remain idle for hours and days at a time and be perfectly content. I am going crazy. So, he said he was surprised and didn't realize I felt that way. He said he didn't want to take any huge leaps right now but we could start looking around at alternatives. I was thinking about Florida. I want to be somewhere where it is WARM and there is a large retired population. I want to look at some of the retirement communities out there. Century Village is out because even though it is huge and affordable, they do not allow pets. There has got to be someplace that is like that where you can have a small dog and a medium sized bird!

He also said I could go down there and look at a few places just to get a feel for them if I want to. I guess I will have to start doing my homework. We have lived here for 30 years but we are just too isolated. It worries me a lot.

That was our day. It was fun and I am glad I talked to him about this. It has been driving me crazy for a VERY long time.

Tomorrow> ? It is supposed to be very hot (83) so we are going to go out early. We are going to go and get submarine sandwiches, take some chips and soda to the park. It will be cool in the morning so we can take Cookie on her walk and then we will have a picnic lunch. That should be just fine.

That's it...gotta go watch "The Road To Hong Kong"

Bye for now.

Bye bye.

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9:05:15 AM EDT

               

    I is bored too but not as bad today.

This week has been pretty much out of whack. I was supposed to go to the gym and the commissary on post but a friend called and he wanted to go to the park and have lunch. It was too hot to take Cookie in the car so we took her to day care. We met our friend, took a quick two mile walk in the park and had a delicious lunch at a place called Icy's. The food was great but the waitress was a total air head. She screwed up the order, the food took forever (two salads and one hamburger) and then she screwed up the check AND she screwed up the change! I have a funny feeling she won't be working there for very long. 

After that, hubby went on with friend to do a little shopping (I needed a 2x4 from Home Depot) and Persimmon needed some straw for her stall. I went on to post. I stopped and played 5 bingo games (didn't win anything) went to the PX and the commissary and bought $50 worth of groceries. I came home and it was nearly 5:00. I was soooo glad I'd made dinner in the morning before I left. That made life MUCH easier. I made chili pies with cheese and sour cream and they were yummy. 

I went to bed at 8:46. I was so bored with the TV and the computer so I just gave up and went to bed. I read my book that I've read 34 times and after tossing and turning relentlessly, I finally fell asleep and slept all night. 

That's it. This morning we are taking the Cookie Monster to day care again and we are going to go to Harbison to shop at Sportsman's Warehouse and Dick's Sporting Goods. (Great store unfortunate name). Hubby wants to eat lunch at one of the nice places out there and that is fine with me. We will take Cookie to the park tomorrow.   

Okay.....gotta go for now. We need to leave in about an hour,

Bye bye

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