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10:51:00 AM EDT
Yesterday wasn't so bad...
Well, yesterday wasn't so bad but that was only because I threw caution to the wind and had what I would call a "normal" day. I decided that I was NOT going to fret about gas and just do what I wanted and needed to do for the day.
It worked out pretty well, except for the fact that I wound up driving 70 miles to get everything done. I took Cookie to the park in the morning before it got too hot. We had a very nice walk. But the park ranger tried to give me a ticket when I came in. I didn't stop and pay the park admission (I have a year's park pass). When I got out of my car, he came up to me with his ticket book out and said "Ma'am, did you stop and pay?" And then he saw my park pass on the dash board and quickly apologized. It was no problem. He was very nice about it.
Our walk was nice enough. When I got back, I had a chicken sandwich for lunch and then I headed BACK out again, to the commissary this time. Buying food has become a real chore because prices have gone up (and at the commissary, there is no telling. The prices vary so much from week to week on the same items) but like I told my husband, I just have to buy what I have to buy. We try to stay on a budget but we just need what we need,
So I went to the commissary and bought $60 worth of groceries and then headed back. I stopped at the two Goodwill Stores on the way but didn't buy anything. I just wanted to stop and look around.
That was is.........Today? I am in one of these funks. I cannot continue like this out here. If I feel this bad now, I hate to think how it will be in a year or two or three. I don't think I can deal with it. I am so bored and so sad and so alone. Hubby just doesn't get it. He is content to sit out here and do NOTHING...read and stay on the computer all day. I can't do that. I can feel my brain turning to mush and I won't be able to keep doing this. It just isn't working anymore. I can't do it. If I feel this way when I am 60, there isn't much to look forward to. I need to get someplace where there are people and things going on, I can't stand this isolation. Privacy has definitely slipped into isolation. (This 30 year old house isn't helping much either....)
That's it. I am by myself right now. He went to help his friend's daughter move into her new condo. I may drive over there a little later and see how the great move is going. I will have lunch here since I will have to take Cookie with me. She will enjoy a ride in the car and a visit with some friendly dogs.
Okay....enough/ I think I will just have a early lunch and maybe run the vacuum cleaner. I thought about changing the beds but I don't know of I am that ambitious. The vacuum, I can handle. The beds require more effort.
Okay.
Gotta go. Hungry.
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5/18/08 12:54 PM
Leigh
http://journals.aol.com/mleig