Hunybea's Open Journal

9:55:41 PM CDT

I live in Lincoln County in MO.  I am not personally effected by all the flooding and the rising water but Winfield, Elsberry and Clarksville is not that far from me and seeing the news all last week was really tugging at my heart, I felt moved to do something on my day off Friday.  It was just a bonus that alot of my friends felt the same and met up with me at the HighSchool to sandbag.  It was hard work.. a bit disorganized.. and the governor and all coming in was somewhat funny, but the scene of accomplishment and community was amazing.  Not sure how much of our efforts will pay off but I am praying for all those who are effected by this years flooding.

 

Mississippi River threatens more Midwest levees

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

7:57:39 PM CDT
Feeling Pleased

And it only took a Dollar bribe from the next door neighbor.  But once she did she took right off! *sigh* My baby is getting sooooooo big!

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 3 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

3:01:53 PM CDT

 

I can't tell you enough how blessed I am to have Josh in my life.  I know many women who are not as lucky and can only complain about their husband or father of their children.  No Josh is not perfect but he always tries to do right or make the best of what he has.  Today is Father's Day AND our 12th year anniversary.  I must say so far we have beat the na sayers, the odds and statistics, and come threw being even more in love. 

We had Zane when we were still teenagers and then got married when we were 19.  I can give you so many examples of how my husband puts his family first over himself.. first one was he moved/followed me while I was still pregnant 2000 miles away, changing his plans of joining the navy, preferring to be there for us.  Also he would not marry me until I finished getting my HS Diploma and I must say that did help keep me motivated.

As a husband he is a giving lover and excellent provider.  As a father he tires to find and use those teachable moments with our 4 children.  The last few years he has had to travel alot for work and it has been hard on us all but instead of letting it tear us down we treasure each moment together and let the time away make our hearts grow fonder for each other.

Josh is tender hearted, a good handyman, responsible, passionate, honorable, loves the Lord.  If there was a Proverb's Husband as there is a Proverb's wife.. he would fit closely the bill.  I often feel undeserving of him.

As you can tell I just adore my husband and that rubs off on the children too lol.  Home comings are a big gift and a party, departures from each other are tearful  but brave and time apart if filled with longing and faith that we will be together again soon.

This last departure he took our 13 yrd son with him to spend a month with him.  I expect Zane to come back almost a man and to of had many adventures with his dad and learning alot of what it is to be a real man.  How to work hard, how to put others first, how to honor God and our Country and his family. While Josh is at work Zane is spending his time either volunteering at a local nursing home (and they say they are already very attached to him and he does very well with the elderly) or at the downtown Library or taking care of chores around the apartment.  It didn't take Josh long to see what I have known.. it was time for the boy to have a cell phone lol.  But Zane bought his own phone with his own money he had earned.

I miss them terribly and am starting to count down the days till we are together again.

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

6:57:42 PM CDT From: SBA List President <information@SBA-LIST.ORG>
Subject: Support Needed for Prenatally Diagnosed Conditions Awareness Act


Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

6:37:22 PM CDT
Feeling Cheerful

<<<<<<<<Check it out

I've been meaning to change it forever.. it's been some time since I had sported the short short hair in the about me pic and the kids have gotten much bigger too.  I had a slow day so I played on blingee.com and glittered out the pics that are now adorning my About Me section

I know it askew the column a bit but I think it's a trade off.. most ppl just click the link and read an individual entry anyhow.

So What Ya think??????????

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

10:27:22 AM CDT
Feeling Ashamed

 

After a week off I started back to work Monday.  My new starting time is 6 a.m. and for anyone who knows me, knows I hate mornings or at least getting up at 5. I took the client knowing how I suck at mornings because I thought I could train myself to get up earlier and mainly because I need to work.  I was doing pretty well going to bed early and for Monday to Wed I was at work with time to spare.  But this morning I woke up at 6:30 and was seriously late.  With out going into the specifics of my client and family.. lets just say ppl depend on me being there on time, no excuse.  I rushed to get dressed and the kids up and barreled to work with out calling in to let them know I was on the way and arriving just at 7.  Too late, way too late and I knew that.  I feel soooo bad, like a big fat failure because I screwed up other people's work day.. and when you mess with other ppl's money.. they aren't happy about it.  I have no good excuse and all the apologizing in the world will not change that I messed up.  I was sent home and told to come tomorrow, the family already called into their work and hopefully can make up work Friday (Fridays are theirs and mine day off).  My initial instinct is to tell my boss to just find some one else who is better, more responsible.. shoot they may just request someone else anyway and would be in all rights of doing so.  But I know I should stick it out, prove myself that I am better than that and can be relied on.  We will see how tomorrow goes.  But I see the pattern.. I see that I sabotage myself with jobs.. not on purpose of course but maybe subconsciously.  Either way I feel like crap today and wish I could just hide but I do have another person to go to today at 11.  So I am just killing time.  I liked the little graphic I put in this post cuz it was cute when I saw it.. but really I don't like being imperfect lol and that is part of my problem.

But over the last few days I have been doing some thinking and praying.  I realize I need to be more grateful for what I do have and where I am at in life.  I seem to be such a complainer lately and whiney.  I am so blessed and I take my many blessings for granted too much.  Just the simple act of walking or being independent or having air conditioning when its almost 90 out is more then some people have.  I should be content.. I have food and water and shelter, I have good health so far and my children are wonderful (lol according to everyone I know).  And with the economy as it is I am grateful that I DO have a job, as small as it is and its a job where (when I am on the ball) I can be a blessing to others.

 

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

8:33:03 PM CDT
Feeling Exhausted

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

12:58:32 PM CDT

I can't believe I did it.. I couldn't help myself.  One e-mail lead to one website and that website lead to what I know will result in endless shame for a life time to come.

I bought New Kids On The Block Concert Tickets!!!!!!  Floor Seats!!!!!!!!

The 12yrd girl in me is squealing with excitement, jumping up and down, counting down the weeks to November 10th.  The 31yrd women in me who has developed more mature tastes in everything is so embarrassed and bracing for endless wrath and teasing from my husband and friends.  I already got the eye roll when Josh discovered his ringtone is "I'll Be Loving You Forever".

I have two tix.  Who wants to come with me??? LOL

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 4 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

8:48:55 AM CDT

Last Friday I was sooo ready for a change, new hair was just what I needed.  I have never been anything but a blonde or strawberry blonde.  I have been blessed with very pretty blonde hair all my life.. so much so no one would allow me to do anything else with it.  So I was in a rebel mood when I went to get my hair trimmed and went ahead and got  what is for me, an extreme color change.  Mocca with blonde highlights in the bangs!   Yes I know it's summer and hair is supposed to go lighter and then darker for winter.. but I think we have established I never do anything the way you are supposed to. 

I didn't send any pics to Josh before he got home and teased him to no end.  But he seems to like it and I have liked the reaction I have gotten from ppl who have seen me in person.  My sister Marcy has even said she wants to copy it lol.

What do you think?!!

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 5 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

1:03:26 PM CDT

Ok.. ... well.. first off last week I did call my supervisor asking to be placed with a different client.  I was just being so stressed out by this family.. mainly the daughter in law and her Nazi anal retentivness and little notes and phone calls on off hours.  She didn't get that my job was JUST suppervision and companionship.. she seemed to think I was her personal enforcer and if my client didn't do as she said she would hang over her head threats of sending her off to a nursing home.  And you know the too caring person I am got way attached to the client.  And then a cookie situation came up... some one ate Girls Scout cookies on the couch.. leaving crumbs and the empty package.. oh the humanity.. the horror.. how dare they who ever did.. because it was NOT me, but since that is where I sit mostly and no one in the home was admitting to it, guess where the finger was pointed.  My company has a strict policy of not eating the clients food and I would bring my own breakfast and lunch and drinks.  I was often offered food or there was treats left out where my client could be tempted to go off her diabetic diet... but I always politely said no thanks and took a swig of my slim-fast.  I have been making progress on some weight loss too.  I think maybe over the almost 5 months I have been in there I did accept a piece of birthday cake and did dip into a bowl that was left out of Easter candy.  ANY HOW.. that was my limit there.. first cookies and then what would that lead too? No way was I going to stick around too long to find out.  But when I called my supervisor last week she was out on medical leave and I vented to her assistant and was told there was nothing I could do till she got back and to just sit tight.

I hadn't heard back and I was about ready to let it go, thinking maybe I was just being premenstral last week and I could handle my job.. after all not everyone is happy with where they work and still deal with it and go in everyday.  I was thinking to myself that I was a bit spoiled and to suck it up and pray on how to be a better servant.  Then again this week there were home baked cookies left out... and some one ate on them.. I was asked if I had eaten any.. nope sure didn't.. and if it was my client she must of done it while I was in the bathroom or something but she was denying it. I know you are thinking.. so what.. they are just cookies.. ya I know!!  But some people have to have control over EVERY aspect of EVERYONE's life and if something is out of place it stresses them to no end and they have to find something or some one to release that on.. guess who.

Ok.. so that is the back story to yesterday..with alot of detail left out for privacy sake.  So yesterday just as I pull into the driveway at work my son calls me on my cell telling me they have missed the bus and need me to get them to school. gurrrr.  I was looking forward to a short uncomplicated day with work because my client had an appointment, all I had to do was stick it out till she had to leave.  The son was home because he was going to take the client to her appointment and  I tell him about the call I just got and that I would go and get her out of bed and up and going and then leave and come right back.  Sure no problem.  Well let's just say it took over an hour to get her up and going, it was not turning out to be the easy day I had anticipated.  So just as I am leaving my supervisor calls the house and is talking with the son, if it was a normal day I would of waited or told my kids to play hookie but school was having special events threw out the day and they needed to keep up with attendance, only 2 days of school left anyway.

I get back an hour later (I live 15 min away and also had to sign the kids in to three different schools) and my client is sitting in her chair and the son is back in bed napping.  My suppervisor calls again to talk with me wondering why I wasn't told to call her back as requested.  She tells me she told the son that last week I had requested to be pulled out (omg) that she was just getting back and getting caught up, had not talked to me about why and  before she put someone else in she needed to talk to me.  I am cringing  because I foresee all sorts of tension in the house.  I get her all caught up, she knows how I am stressed by this family, I have forward to her every ridiculous note that was left for me and in the past have asked for her to talk to them about my job title and what my respoblities are and where the line is (and as far as I know she never did but is with me on that I have put up with alot and have gone above and beyond with them).  She said it was possible to put some one else in but it was a male and didn't think they would be too happy about that. She wanted to know what I wanted to do. I told her I would prefer to call her later when I was off.. I didn't want to talk in front of the client who already had the "deer in headlights, what is going on here" look on her face.

So the rest of the time at work was weird... the son and daughter were home but stayed away not really talking to me, and I can see why, knowing I had asked to be placed somewhere else.. and if they were not going to bring it up, neither was I.  Eventually I was told to pack a bag with my client and then they would leave for the appointment.  So I did, had her sign me out and left for the day.    I had some time to think and pray about the situation.. still a bit hemming and hawing on what to do or say, talked it out with friends who all could see clearly that I had already made the decision to be pulled out and that it would work out well for my family for me to have less stress and if that meant shorter hours over the somer that is not nessarly a bad thing.  So I called my supervisor and told her only if they could find some one else to take her, to pull me out.  I did not want to leave her with out some one as back up.  Well the person she had in mind got assigned some where else already, too far for me to just switch with him and if I could stick with them until some one else can take over the client that would be great.  Kinda anticlimactic but do-able... it was settled.. so I thought.

Later in the day I got called by my Supervisor telling me not to bother going in to work tomorrow, the family requested I not come back because... I LEFT EARLY AND I DID STEAL THEIR COOKIES AND THEY ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH ME.  I left early???? What are they talking about.  I apologized for leaving and coming back because of my kids but that is not what they were talking about.. apparently I left with out saying good bye to them, they were not ready to for me to leave... bla what ever.  It is pretty laughable if I was not so mad about it.  I'm a nice easy going person and yea I do let my self get taken advange of or as some would see it, walked over.. so when some one talks crap or tries to make me look bad with out just cause it does piss me off.  My boss told me not to worry about it, she completely understands they are whack-o and deals with things like this all the time. It is not unusual to pull out some one and replace them.  I asked how will this reflect on me as an employee?  And to my relief she said not at all, I am in good standing.  It's just that she doesn't have anywhere else for me to go at the momeant and to keep in touch each week until she does, that she likes me alot and will do what she can.

That is a relief and a bit of a bummer.  On one had I get more time at home.. Josh is coming home for a week this Saturday (whoo hoo!) and the kids get out of school. On the other had the extra money I have been getting from work has really helped and was going to go towards us maybe going to visit Josh in Philly in July.  My only real concern now is I do live in a smaller community and our kids know each other and I don't want a thing to develop or it may be weird seeing them around town occasionally.  God only knows what they are going to say to people.. but we mostly don't run the same circles but you never know.  And I am a bit sad I didn't get to say goodbye to my lady and hope that what ever happens to her that God will watch over her.

So that has been my week!! I did make a comment to Zane the other day that all these little things that have been going amiss in our life have been adding up and if I didn't know any better I would say there is some demonic stuff going on.  And out of the mouth of babes he says well if we do have Satan's attention then that is good.. it means we are doing something right.  Ohh I don't know about all that but he may have a point there.

 I feel better now that is all out and behind me.  Today's a new day, a new start and I do have much to be thankful for.  Mainly my friends who have been there alot for me lately and listen to my problems and frustration.  I have been blessed with several good ones.. THANK YOU AMY, RACHEL, JENNY, AND AUDRA AND EVEN BRANDY

Written by hunybea4him Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own