All Things Are Possible

A commitment that I am asking j-landers for help with. I am very good at starting things and not finishing.

I will try to make it short since I already wrote today. Its in reference to my finances. I have been given something by my sponz & my mother its called a spending plan. I have a written list of everything that I have to pay for the month. For the first time in my life except for unexpected emergencies I think I actually might make it through the month of June without what I call the walk of shame. That means going to my family for $20 for gas or my friends for $5.00 to support my nasty, nasty cigarette habit.

Anyhoo, I know that I have a big problem where my finances are concern and it causes a lot of stress and chaos in my life. I don’t want it anymore there fore the commitment. I see where a lot of my mistakes, bad judgments, not writing things down, robbing Peter to pay Paul when there is no Paul, my insecurities, doubts and fears come from where it comes to my finances.

Then to top it off with all of those bad feelings I have the nerve to want to keep it all a secret. God forbid if someone finds out that all I do is mismanage money. Even if I know that I am better than I use to be to me its still crazy that I am as old as I am and still can‘t get my act together.

The reason that I am telling you this is because this is a very new commitment and I really want to stick to it. So if every now and then maybe you can ask how I am doing with my budget or am I still writing things down. It would be truly helpful.

Whew! Just so you know that was a big deal for me saying things about my finances. Not only that I am still grateful to be alive today and being the best me that I can be.