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Sunday, June 18, 2006
7:10:00 AM EDT
Written by imgr8phil Blog about this entry |
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7:10:00 AM EDT
Sperm Donor Day 2006
This is my name for this day since I no longer have a living father, he passed away ten years ago in September, and also since I am pretty much an absentee father due to the awful family court system in Riverside, CA and a vindictive ex-wife and her family.
I gave up on fighting the courts and my ex in 1998. After doing everything the court had requested of me and still not getting the satisfaction I wanted and deserved I knew that the hand dealt me was never going to get better. But silly me actually believed that the system would actually do the right thing . . . what a doofus I was huh?
I wrote a letter in 1998 to my ex, sine she has made it clear that the only way she will communicate with me and vice versa had to be in writing. The letter stated that I would no longer fight this out in the court system and since she had control of everything it would be up to her to foster a relationship between our daughter and me. Here it is eight years later and still no attempt to bring us together.
Ten years of this and nothing changes. She maintains the stand that the courts are the final say so in every manner and anything short of a court order she isn't going to budge an inch. Talk about a decade of grudges. We were only married five years. I guess Phil the Thrill can have enemies.
Thus, with all of this, I am relegated to Sperm Donor. A position that I am not convinced that doesn't have some semblance of the truth. Maybe she had this child and never intended on staying together with me. After all, she never did find it possible to put into our marriage what she has with her family. I know I'm better off without her but not better off without my sperm recipient daughter.
My daughter will be 15 this July 27th and I really have no idea who she is and what makes her tick. Likewise, she has no conception of who I am and what my life is all about. You all know me way better than she does. If I do happen to get a phone call from her today it will be short and the tension that will be there with her whole family listening will be too much. I did receive a card from her. Not very personal but the gift of a box of Reese's pieces makes up for all the years of that have been lost. We hardly ever talk on the phone and that is sad as well. Yes, my daughter does love me and I love her more than words can tell, I know that for sure, but she doesn't know me or anything about me other than what my ex and her family has corrupted her with.
So Happy Father's Day to those of you that still have fathers in your lives and also to the fathers out there that actually have relationships with their children. Hold them near and dear to your hearts always. Be grateful for what you have and don't waste life away with anger and emptiness. I wish I could have a normal relationship with the only person that will probably ever have my blood in them.
I will go now and celebrate my Sperm Donor Day alone with my dog. Have a good day All!!
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This entry has 20 comments: (Add your own)
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Nice journal. Please get in touch with your daughter and tell her how you feel. Keep telling her. At 15, she can make her own judgements, and she can see...I remember being 15 years old. She needs you. Don't let the ex win. It's just too important. Not too long ago, my daughter was 15, and she desperately wanted her absentee father to be in her life, they all do.
~Meg
http://journals.aol.com/inquestoftruth/InQuestOf/ -
I am just now getting around to reading everyone's journal. I hope that one day soon your daughter will contact you and tell you that she wants to have a father daughter relationship with you and not listen to what her mother and family say.
Love,
Kat -
What a shame this is for you ... and for your daughter. I never could understand how some mothers could use their child in this way. Your daughter deserves to know her father, and you certainly deserve the opportunity to enjoy a relationship with her. I am hoping that as she gets older, she will be able to see the truth of the situation, and you will get an opportunity to develop that relationship with her that you have always wanted to have. Tina
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Hello, HAPPY FATHERS DAY!! YOUR STILL A FATHER AND A LOVING ONE. IM SORRY YOU DONT GET TO SEE YOUR DAUGHTER OR HEAR FROM HER AS OFTEN AS YOU WOULD WISH TO. A DAD THAT WANTS TO BE IN THEIR DAUGHTERS LIFE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE.. SHAME ON HER FOR NOT LETTING YOU INTO HER LIFE. THE POSITIVE THING, SINCE YOU ARE SO POSITIVE OF A PERSON, IN THREE YEARS SHE WILL BE 18. I NEVER SAW MY DAD EVER SINCE I WAS 2 AND I MET HIM IN MY LATE TEENS. AND I ALWAYS WAS CURIOUS AND I WAS TOLD AWFUL THINGS ABOUT HIM, THOUGH TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE, STILL I WANTED TO MEET HIM AND SEE IF HE CHANGED, GIVE HIM THE BENIFIT OF THE DOUBT IN KNOWING THAT EVERYONE CHANGES... ESPECIALLY DAUGHTERS. THEY HAVE A NEED FOR A FATHER. OR AT LEAST TO KNOW WHO THEY ARE. SHE WILL CONTACT YOU. SHE WILL WANT TO KNOW YOU AND AFTER SHE IS 18. THERE ISNT A DAM THING MOMMY DEAREST CAN DO ABOUT IT. aND WHEN SHE DOES...SHOWER HER WITH LOVE. DAUGHTERS TEND TO TURN TO OTHERS FOR THAT MISSING DAD RELATIONSHIP THEY DIDNT HAVE.. I HOPE HER LIFE WAS STABLE ENOUGH THAT SHE DOESNT DO THAT AND CAN FIND THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU AND NOT SOME BOY... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN... THINKING OF YOU. CHRISTINE
7/12/06 4:11 PM