(((Reflections)))

"The active part of man consists of powerful instincts, some of which are gentle and continuous; others violent and short; some baser, some nobler, and all necessary."

Francis W. Newman 

'Tis true, what they say...  Our instincts are better followed than ignored.  But honestly, how many of you actually DO? 

I've been thinking lately, about my own instinctive abilities and inabilities.  Therefore, I am second guessing myself left and right ~ thoroughly frustrating myself to the point of exhaustion.  Looking back ~ and I'm talking YEARS, I consider all the crossroads I have come to and ponder my actions and choices based on instinct alone.  That's not at all to say that I have followed my inner voice on every occasion, because more often than not, I chose to do the opposite of what my instincts were telling me ~ and got myself in a heap of trouble.  Maybe not at that exact moment in time, mind you, but at some point soon thereafter. 

Like the fact that most recently, I KNEW my car would break down again... And it did.

My instincts HAVE gotten better over the years.  That is, while I continue to fail miserably at following them, I can honestly look back and see HOW strong those instincts were at the time, and how badly things turned out, by my having NOT followed them. 

I think about the day I became engaged and then of course, the wedding itself...  And the lingering doubt that crept it's way into my thoughts at the most INOPPORTUNE times (so i thought)...

I think about events that shattered innocence and hearts.  Events that, to this day, I continue to believe ~ had I followed my instincts, never would have happened.

Part of trusting your own instinct is having the very courage to do so.  Oftentimes, what we feel deep down is the truth, may in fact be what hurts the most.  It may be what brings us to our knees in the darkest hours of night.  Who wants to come face to face with that kind of pain?

But what if knowing and feeling and enduring brings us to that beautiful somewhere we thought we'd never go?  Isn't that what instinct IS?  Our gut ~ or our God, if I may, leading us into greener pastures and brighter tomorrows? 

And does basic human instinct originate in the heart ~ or the mind?  Someplace else then?  What if our hearts and minds tell us two completely different things ~ each one bringing very different results?  What then?

I will more than likely contemplate this forever... 

May your instincts guide you well in all you do...

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• #13 Comment from mfitzwilliam22 
  7/16/08 9:16 PM | Permalink

  I think that your instincts are more prominent than a gut feeling in a time of need.  Everyone is born with instincts and should to start listening to them daily.  When I was younger, I tried to do everything just like my sister.  Her systems worked so well for her, but I would get stressed out because I was following her instincts instead of my own.  After I took my Kolbe Index, I started to feel freedom that I never had before.  My amount of stress drastically decreased.  It's amazing how much stress can be created by doing daily tasks someone else's way.
• #12 Comment from sunflowerkat321 
  7/14/08 11:10 PM | Permalink

  A very thought provoking entry, Chelle.  I tend to be one who overthinks things in an attempt to convince myself that my instincts are valid.  It makes me very cautious.  I wish I could just let go and leap where my instincts lead me.
• #11 Comment from lanurseprn 
  7/7/08 6:01 AM | Permalink

  I enjoyed this entry so much. I can completely understand what you mean about our instincts. If I'd followed them, my life would have turned out so much different. I do try to follow them now because I'm learning. But, I need to trust more.
  Great thought provoking entry.
  Pam
• #10 Comment from breezyneon 
  7/6/08 12:49 PM | Permalink

  Hi, I am visiting by way of DB(Vagabond's) journal. I love your journal. You think so much like I do, and your way with words makes your journal so interesting and emotional to read. I was just telling DB how my instincts are always a day late or slow to react.. but I am trying to tune into them more. Sometimes I do know what I SHOULD do, but  I don't do it out of fear, but in the long run it seems to be the choice I should have made.
  Great entry.. I will be back to read more.
  ~~Breezy
• #9 Comment from geminiwilder 
  7/2/08 10:42 PM | Permalink

  well this about made me burst into tears today.
  (having a really bad -emotional- day)
  you write with such depth and the way
  you articulate feelings is amazing to me.
  i can't even tell you how much i got out
  of this. and how i realize much of my sadness
  is due to my own foolishness and not trusting
  my own instincts. which leads to self-hatred
  and guilt! and anger...i won't go on.
  xo phinney