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7/9/08
Because of KABOOM!!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Subject: Because of KABOOM!!
Time: 11:53:00 AM EDT
Author: jayveerhapsody
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Subject: Because of KABOOM!!
Time: 11:53:00 AM EDT
Author: jayveerhapsody
I had initially planned on writing a long, rambling 4th of July tribute - expressing my opinions on our country & freedom & independence & other related topics. Unfortunately, my plans were rudely thwarted by the sudden KABOOM! that happened on July 3rd.
All right, I know what you're all thinking:
First, you're wiping your sweaty brows in unanimous relief, while saying Thank God that Texas bastard isn't going to ramble again!!
Second, you're asking What the hell is a "sudden KABOOM???"
I'm gonna explain.
Late on the afternoon of July 3rd, right before the beginning of the long Independence Day holiday weekend, we were bombarded with one of the worst storms I ever experienced in Texas. It came with absolutely no warning, and decided to concentrate entirely on the sleepy little community where I live. It lasted over six long hours and dumped at least five inches of torrential rain over everything.
Streets were flooded. Yards & fields were flooded. The lake overflowed. Crops were ruined. The fierce lightning strikes were so abundant that the local fire department couldn't possibly keep up with maintaining the wildly assorted fiery ZAPS that occurred throughout the county.
The storm was massive, epic, Biblical - strongly reminiscent of an old Hollywood extravaganza. Amidst the wild sweep of rushing water, I kept waiting to see Cecil B. DeMille float by - - perched on a gigantic camera tower with megaphone in hand. I could almost see hunky George O'Brien heroically rescuing luscious Dolores Costello from the great deluge caused by the wrath of Jehovah (Noah's Ark, 1928)
An incredible lightning strike directly in back of my house quickly brought me back to the reality of the moment. All lights were out, all phones, all related things. It was after ten o'clock at night and I rode out the rest of the storm in pitch blackness.
Me and the cat nervously paced from room to room. Usually only the cat will pace during storms. This time I was sufficiently unnerved enough to join her. I took a couple healthy swigs of hard whiskey to calm my frazzled nerves, but kitty would have no part of it......
Should I abbreviate an infinitely long story? Yea, maybe I should. I'm a merciful kind of guy.
The storm gradually subsided around 1:00 a.m. and electricity was eventually restored around dawn (when I didn't need it). My land phone and computer were out for six days.
I guess I should finally admit my deep, dark, disgraceful secret here - the one that I've been trying to hide from everyone for years (Wow, I'll bet your fanciful imaginations are going rampant).
Sensitive people should hold their ears until I say this.........
Okay. I'll admit it. I still - - - I still have a dial-up connection on my computer. I think there are only two people left in country who have dial-up. Me and a ninety-two-year-old lady in Mishawaka.
Anyway, because of the damn dial-up curse, I couldn't use my computer until the telephone line was repaired. And, believe me, getting a phone fixed is not an easy task in rural West Texas on a holiday weekend. Or any time, for that matter.
I wore my cell phone out trying to call Windstream customer service for the next four days. The robotic recorded mantra "All circuits are busy - please try again later " is still echoing in my nightmares. When I finally did get through, I was offered nothing but an endless series of more recordings.
Press ONE if you want to communicate in English
Press TWO if you are a new Windstream customer
Press THREE if you are an existing Windstream customer
Press FOUR if you are with another company and are considering becoming a Windstream customer in the near future
Press FIVE if you are delinquent on your account
Press SIX if you want to discontinue your phone, internet, or satellite television services
Press SEVEN if you want to reactivate your telephone, internet, or satellite television services
Press EIGHT if you have a question about billing
Press NINE if you have a question about billing in Spanish, Arabic, or Classical Latin
Press the POUND KEY if you want to have sex with any of our customer service operators....
..............say, WHAT?????...........
I couldn't get a real-live customer service person until Tuesday afternoon (July 8th), and he was almost as difficult to deal with as the stupid recordings had been. The guy's name was Tyrone, and if he was physically accessible I would have gleefully strangled him to death with my phone cord. At the end of our "conversation" (for lack of a better word), he gave me a long pitch about some kind of insurance coverage for my telephone. In case I ever needed it. I told him it would be a cold day in Hades before I'd insure my phone. I'd insure my ass before I'd insure my phone. It's worth more.
Some time around mid-Wednesday morning (July 9th), Windstream service trucks began invading my neighborhood. A big fat dude shimmied up one of the poles behind my house and did some fancy fixing maneuvers. Shortly after noon, my phone rang (I'd almost forgotten what the sound of ringing is like.....).
Hello? (that's me talking)
Yea. This is Bill with Windstream. Just to let you know, we got your phone working.
Hallelujah! Thanks a lot!
No problem. Have a good one!
So. Here I am on the afternoon of the 9th, reveling in the luxury of a working phone and a working computer (even if my computer is hopelessly ancient and possessed by the Son of Satan......).
That was the good news.
The bad news is that more storms are expected tonight.
Wishing you peace & fair weather,
Jon
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This entry has 13 comments: (Add your own)
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Ok, you have really surprised me with your confession. DAIL UP? (SIGH) Is that a faux dial up? May I suggest you go to Wal-Mart with your glasses and a tin cup with a sign that says, "Will play piano for computer connection improvement!" Be sure to print it in spanish. Lordy, even I almost feel sorry for you. (key word was almost) Fondly, Anne
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Dear Jon I always will and I shall always enjoy your Journal ~ cannot understand why I am not getting your alerts ~ Ally x
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Dial up? What is that? Tin cans and string? What is a telephone line? More string, probably, lol! You poor baby!
xoxo -
I have Windstream too and in my area they offer cable service. They just install a separate line. The additional cost is well worth the aggrivation; at least to me it is.
Claudia
7/19/08 2:12 AM
Jude
http://journals.com/Jmorancoy