Standing on the edge of my life....

11:27:21 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing These Days-Rascal Flatts

I'm not very big on writing anything that actually means something to me or that isn't dripping with sarcasm ,I highly doubt this is the right place to do this, but I think I need to do it. Very few people hear me talk about my dad, it's never been a particularly easy topic for  me to talk about. The extent of our father-daughter relationship was a birthday we share and a few holidays throughout the year or a school function once in a while. At his funeral, everyone was crying over a man that touched their life in someway, but I couldn't shed a tear. I think people were looking at me like I had no heart, who doesn't cry at their own parents funeral? So much advice about taking it "one day at a time" was given to me, which just kind of left me speechless.  My sister and I were spoken of quite often during his eulogies, "he was never happier than when he was with his girls" or "when he was found passed away, the only pictures by him were of his daughters". This honestly left me more confused, how come I had never known that side of my dad? There were also many stories of a church community that he was very apart of in the last 6 or 7 years. Another thing I never knew about him. A few weeks ago my uncle dropped off a few boxes of my dads possessions for my sister and I. I really appreciated going through these boxes, it provided more insight on his life. I also found small book about quotes about journeys that was dated the day I started college 8-22-02. Inside there was a short note written to me said, " Jenn, Life is a journey, not a destination, enjoy your journey. Love, Dad". At first I didn't understand why he never gave it to me. But I think it means a lot more to now than it ever would have back then. The regrets and anger that I carried most of my life about my dad are finally going away. In his death, I'm finally getting to know who my dad was.

I have been thinking about him a lot lately because our birthday is coming up. I don't know how it's going to feel this year to not celebrate our birthday together, just my birthday. I know I'll be looking for the call were we joked about whose birthday it was this year. I better celebrate big for him this year though, he loved his birthday and this year would have been his 50th.

I know wherever my Dad is, he is at peace. When he was found after  he died he was wrapped in a blanket with his favorite Psalm, Psalm 23 embroidered into it. On the table next to him, his bible was also opened to that passage.

..>..> ..>

POWERS WILLIAM GEORGE III (BILL

January 6, 2008

"BIG RED" POWERS) Age 49. December 31, 2007. Bill was born April 3, 1958 in Northampton, Massachusetts. He lived and worked in Dearborn most of his life, but remained a loyal Red Sox and Patriots fan throughout his life. Through his work at Powers Travel Agency, he was most honored to lead a travel group of WWII veterans from the 82nd and 101st Airborne Division back to the beaches of Normandy for the 40th Anniversary of D-Day. He later enjoyed a career at Real Estate One where he was given the moniker, "Bill 'Big Red' Powers" due to his 6'6" stature. Bill leaves two daughters, Jennifer and Megan and their mother, Margaret Powers. Bill leaves his wife Kathleen Gibson and her children, Rory, Katie, and Kelly. He is survived by his mother, Ann L. Powers and brother, Martin; sisters, Catherine and Amy. Preceded in death by his father, William G. Powers, Jr. Sunday Service 3 p.m., January 6, 2008, at the Detroit World Outreach in Redford.   Rest In Peace Dad....Here's your favorite.... Pslam 23  1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.  2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,        he leads me beside quiet waters,  3 he restores my soul.        He guides me in paths of righteousness        for his name's sake.  4 Even though I walk        through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]        I will fear no evil,        for you are with me;        your rod and your staff,        they comfort me.  5 You prepare a table before me        in the presence of my enemies.        You anoint my head with oil;        my cup overflows.  6 Surely goodness and love will follow me        all the days of my life,        and I will dwell in the house of the LORD        forever.

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4:18:23 AM EDT
Feeling Quiet

What if we already met the right person,
but weren't ready to fall in love?

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1:33:08 PM EDT



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2:13:18 PM EDT
Feeling Frustrated
Hearing Teardrops On My Guitar-Taylor Swift

 

So about a week ago I was late for work and I was running across a median and stepped in a hole in the grass.

I managed to fracture my ankle and tear a tendon. Good job, right?

I just thought I'd share my boot hell. I'll update later!

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11:44:04 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing Stand By Me- John Lennon

Much has changed in my life since the last time I've written. I graduated from my dentist assisting program and got a fabulous job at the dentist office I've been going to for 14 years. LoL, its like a real adult job with vacation time and full health benefits (never thought I'd be excited about health benefits). It is so great to get up every morning and go somewhere that makes you happy. For a long time I could never imagine myself finding a job that I wanted to do. I think I got really lucky. It is exactly what I wanted- I work long hours, Monday-Thursday from 8-8 and I pick up a friday once in a while, I am constantly busy which is perfect for me and the best part is I get to talk to and comfort people. It really fits my personality perfectly.

I think the job has given confidence that I lacked in my personal life for a long time, probably since I was a freshman in college. I've always had what I feel like is alot of awesome friends and i'm very outgoing, but I never really felt going out and doing things just because for me it was easier to stay at home. Now I go nuts if I don't go to dinner with my friends a few times a week and out at least once a weekend. That is a huge change for me.

With my new job, I decided to go ahead and get rid of the ol' college wheels and lease a new car. I leased a 2007 Impala, Navy Blue. Actually see above for a picture. I orginally wanted a G6, but I test drove this car and totally fell in love with it. I always HATED driving, but it's totally different when your driving a new car. It's super comfy.

Another big change that is coming up for me is my teeth! Yesterday at work I got my teeth cleaned and my dentist and I have been discussing getting 8 veneers on my upper front teeth since I got my braces off 3 years ago and we finally decided to go ahead and do them. I have always had an enamel defect and when I got my braces off my teeth just had no shine to them anymore so they almost have a yellow tinge to them, most on the top 4 though. That always made me really self concious because I have always taken super good care of my teeth. So I can't wait to get my teeth white and shiney again and get some spaces closed up! I will definetly posting some before and after pictures mid-summerish (i'm hoping sooner).

So other than that, I'm truely just loving my life and being 23. I'm going to TRY to start updating a few times a week.

<3

Jenn

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9:47:27 PM EDT
Feeling Happy

Do you ever just want to write, but your words just don't do your thoughts justice?

 

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4:00:18 AM EST
Feeling Chillin'

I was reading this on "Myspace" and it is Sooooo true!!!!

They call it the "Quarter-Life Crisis."

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that , maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job…and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and the scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force in your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try to cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook-ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with you friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself…and while winning the race would be great now, you'd just like to be a contender. What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

 

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10:51:11 AM EST
Feeling Happy

So, I am offically done with school (since last Thursday).....FOREVER!!!! I had a fantastic semester. I took 30 credit hours between 2 schools and I got a 98.8 % average with my dental assisting classes (which was the big majority of my 30 credit hours), I got a 102% average in World Relgions and a 95% in Econ. I was actually pretty proud of myself. It was getting so hard towards the end though, I was sveo tired mentally and even physically. I've caught up on ALOT of sleep this past week. Today is the first day I feel really energized. I'm really deep cleaning every room in my house for my mom. She's been working like a crazy lady 13 hours a day sometimes 7 days a week....Speaking of working....I GOT A JOB!!!! I had an interview a with a dentist on Tuesday and she was wonderful. Her office was very modern and she was just really sweet lady. Her dog comes to work with her, which was like the complete seller for me. I had 3 more dentists call me, but I decided to go with her. So I start January 3rd, which I'm thrilled about because I get a full winter break. So this year, 2006 is  the first year I feel like i actually got something accomplished with my life and it feels pretty damn good. So next year I'm tackling losing some weight and maybe find me a potiental husband....haha.....but losing weight for sure....It's kind of easy to take things one year at a time. lol. Anyways.....I feel like doing a survey....

 

1.What page did you visit before you logged onto Myspace? Ebay.....lol.....I've been on a little shopping spree....its pretty ridiculous, I think my mailman hates me 2.How do you take your coffee? I take my coffee in the form of non-exsistant....don't like the taste at all 3.Where was your father born? North Hamptom, Mass. 4.Who's wardrobe would you rampage? As much as Paris Hilton bothers me, I wouldn't mind having her purses and sunglasses.....and maybe the shoes too... 5.Where do you keep your peanut buttter? The middle shelf of our pantry...I know exactly where that stuff is....mmmmm 6.Pizza Hut, Dominos, or Papa Johns? Pizza hut 7.What kind of shoes are you wearing? Some brown slipper-esqe thingies 8.Where was the last place you purchased something? Well ebay....but in a real store, target 9.What kind of toothbrush do you use? I actually just purchases a sonicare 9800 and I loveeee it, its like going to the dentist and getting ur teeth cleaned everyday 10.How many times a day do you wash your face?  when I get up,  before I put on makeup, and then at night to take off the makeup 11.Where are you going Saturday? I think I'm going to be laying around here laughing at the thought of all the people scrambling around trying to finish up there Christmas shopping 12.What was your first real job? Westborn Market, when I was 15. 13.Who's the last person to borrow money from you? Who knows......I think I lent one of my friends at school some cash 14.Jack, Jim, or Jose? Jim....for sure 15.Who do you think will repost this? Somebody that is supercool!

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4:55:58 AM EST
Feeling Quiet
Part 1: The Birth of You

Were you a planned baby?: I think so

Were you the first?: I was indeed

Who was present at your birth?: my mom i'd think...probably my dad

Were your parents married when you were born?: Yes indeedy

What is your birthdate? 4/3/1984


Part 2: The Family

Are you parents married or divorced? Divorced

An only child?: Only for the first 3 1/2 years of my life

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: The oldest!

What are your sibling's names?: Megan

Which parent do you get along with best?: My mom, hands down, she is awesome

What do you fight about? I argue with my sister more than anyone, but we still love each other

Do you have step parents?: I had a stepmom, I think they got divorced though
Part 3: The Friends

Do you have more than one best friend? Yeah I do

What do you like to do when you are together? I don't know, all kinds of things

Do you share the same interests?: I'd say so

Which friend can you tell anything to?: my sister

Part 4: Your Personality

How high/low is your self esteem?: I have fairly high self esteem

Do you get depressed about things easily?: Not at all

Are you an extrovert (outgoing) or an introvert (reserved)?: Extrovert

Are you happy?: I am! no reason not to be

Do you live life to the fullest?: most would say I don't, I like to play it safe

Part 5: Appearance

Are you comfortable with the way you look?: Yeah, I honestly am, but I shouldn't be, I really need to be skinnier

Describe your hair? little past my shoulders, brown, needs cut really bad

How do you dress? I'm going from college student to career women right now, I'm starting to like the business suits and pumps when I go on interviews.....and when I start working I'll be wearing scrubs- I like the plan color scrubs with a print lab jacket

Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child?: Does quiet count as strange?

What did you used to love that you no longer do? hmmmm......nintendo,disney movies

Do you have the same friends?: yeah i'd say most of my friends are from my elementary,middle, high school years

Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing? Yeah, my jackass dad- bad memories

Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition? to get a job ,pay off my student loans, meet prince charming(hopefully the young handsome dentist I'll be working for), get married, get a house in the 'burbs, get a golden retriver, have 4 kids, be a pta mom, wait for my dentist husband to retire so we can travel the great 48 in one of those big bus looking things, and die when i'm 98......Yeah....that sounds good

Are you scared of growing old?: I'm looking forward to the rest of my 20's, I'm not thinking about anything beyond that

Do you want to get married?: Uh YEAH! and really soon......

Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: I think they both have their perks.....the outdoors are beautiful and the indoors are comforable

Favorite Season: Fall!

Do you like walking in the rain?:Yeah......wanna go for a walk?

Part 9: Food

Are you a vegetarian?: No, but meat is starting to gross me out a little

What is your favorite food?: potato

What food makes you want to gag? scrambled eggs being cooked and fish....so gross....

What is your favorite dessert?: chocolate and peanut butter things

What is your favorite restaurant?: this little thai food place by my house bangkok 96

Are you a fussy eater? I've really become one.......

Part 10: Relationships and Love

Are you single or taken?: Single and ready to mingle

If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: ?

Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: I can't answer that

Do you believe in love at first sight?: No, I need to get to know someone, i'm a picky pain in the ass

Part 11: Experiences

What was one of your greatest experiences?: I would say the summers of 96 and 02. Total greatness.

What was one of the worst? I think before my parents got divorced and we lived with my dad still haunts me pretty bad.

Have you ever done drugs? Percribed drugs in the form of Paxil....daily....other than that noway

Have you ever thought you were going to die?: When I was 17  I was in a car accident and broke my upper right arm and I think that was about the most miserable and painful 3 months of my life

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12:43:25 PM EST
Feeling Quiet
Hearing Friends

1. What is the geekiest part of your DVD collection?
Hmmmm....probably the fact that I have 3 sets of the entire seasons of friends.....
 
2. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
I'm into the starchy foods at night, potatos, bread....

3. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
I'm not much of a weeper, especially at the movies

4. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Breast Reduction

5. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
No....nothing too irrational

6. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I get really quiet

7. Are you a pyromaniac?
I'm gunna have to go with ....no

8. Do you have too many love interests?
lol....no....i have 0 love interests

9. Do you know anyone famous?
I'm not that cool...

10. Describe your bed:
Queen, sleigh bed, tan sheets right now, feather comforter thingie and pinkish striped duvet.

11. Are you spontaneous or planned?
I'm a very planned person and thats how I like it

12. Who would play you in a movie?
We'll by the looks of my eye brows at this moment, probably brooke sheilds

13. Do you know how to play poker?
Sure do.....
14. What do you carry with you at all times?
Celluar device

15. What do you miss most about being a kid?
being carefree

16. Are you happy with your given name?
yeah, i do like it, it has alot of versitility-Jenn, Jenny, Jennifer.....i'm all about it

17. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
I'd have to be a good offer.....like 500,000..... I love my internet alot

18. What color is your bedroom?
just tan, with some white trim

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
The 'friends' theme song....

20. Have you ever been in a play?
No, I was a pretty shy kid

21. Have you ever been in love?
Noo

22. Do you talk a lot?
I am pretty talkey.....do the long survey answers give me away?

23.Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
I'm pretty confident right now.....

24. Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? only the fact about how bad i feel for them yet i don't have the ability to REALLY help them.

25. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Indeed I do....

26. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends? this question is void....no boyfriend

27. What is your ideal marriage location?
Henry Ford Museum or Estates on New Years Eve

28. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
I'd like to pick up the violin again...

29. Favorite fabric?
Satin.....

30. Something you love and hate?
Money!

31. What kind of bedding do you use?
Right now everything on my bed is Calvin Klien....its pretty comfy

32. Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
They really aren't into hearing about my non-exsistent sex life....I haven't had a boyfriend in 4 1/2 years kids

33. What's the one language you want to learn?
I'd like to be fluent in french.....I've taken about 3 years total and love the language

34. How do you eat an apple?
we'll I take a bite....and then another....and then another.....you got the idea?

35. What do you order at a bar?
Usually nothing cuz i'm the DD......but if i'm forced to order something i like amereto sour

36. What piercing do you have?
ears only at the moment...

37. Do you have tattoos?
No freaking way....you know they use needles to do that...OUCH

39. Do you drive?
Not very well....

40. What's one trait you hate in a person?
"I'm a bitch" trait

41. What kind of watch do you wear?
Guess

43. Do you consider yourself materialistic?
Maybe.

44. What do you cook the best?
I make some kick ass spaghetti sauce

45. Favourite writing instrument?
Dr. Grip Pencil
46. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
Blend in

47. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
dressing like a guy wouldn't be very hard

48. What one car you'd never buy?
Those PT cruisers.....those things really bug me

49. What kind of books do you like to read?
I'm into the cheesy/dirty romance novels....its a nice break from school reading

50. If you won the lottery, what would you do?
Save enough so I could be comfortable for the rest of my life and give the rest to my family and friends

52. How many Myspace friends do you have?
91

53. What's one thing you're a loser at?
Hmm....Sports that involved running....I hateeeeee running

54. If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
I don't, Treat people how you wanna be treated

56. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
People have said that I'm intimidating...I have no clue why, I always smile and talk

57. What's one thing you like to do alone?
I really like to sleep alone.....I can't stand other people in my bed...

58. Are you a giver or a taker?
giver
59. When's the last time you cried?
Who knows....I'm stone cold

60. Favorite communication method?
Instant messenger

61. How many drinks before you're tipsy?
2ish

62. Do you think you're cute?
I'm alright......

 

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