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Reptile Dysfunction
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Sunday, June 25, 2006
5:14:00 AM CDT
Dr. Drew Pinsky is a sex and love therapist who hosts an advice show on The Discovery Channel. Not that I watch it, no, really I don't. That's like watching Martha Stewart when you you're living on fermented mare's milk in the Mongolian desert. What's the point?
For some reason Dr. Drew has been doing a commercial for one of the YOU CAN GET IT UP AND KEEP IT UP drugs where he mentions E.D. -- erectile dysfuctnion -- a minimum of 352 times. Except that when Dr. Drew says the word E-rectile it comes out REP-tile for some reason. That's why I don't know which drug he is shilling for, because I was so fascinated by the sound, followed closely by the concept, of REPTILE dysfunction, that I couldn't wait for him to say it again.
Reptile dysfunction. I wonder if this is something that only happens to reptiles over sixty-five. Or it's something that happens to almost half of the reptile population over forty. Does it affect their self esteem when it dysfuncts? Or interfere with normal reptile activity with a partner? And does that partner have to be a reptile for the dysfunction to count?
Of course Dr. Drew's commercial has nothing on the impact, if you will, of the half hour informercial that has been running ad nauseum for DUALACTIONCLEANSE.com. The one that starts out by saying -- no -- EXCLAIMING!!! that you can feel as alive as you did in your twenties, but first you have to get your colon unclogged.
Yep, you can lose as much as fifteen pounds just by getting rid of that compacted fecal matter you've been carrying around. Look, if they can say those words on TV, I can say it here.
I don't know about you, but between chipping away at the uh, stuff that's clogging our colons versus repairing those unfortunate reptile dysfunctions, I'm more comfortable taking my chances with the reptiles.
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5:14:00 AM CDT
Reptile Dysfunction
Dr. Drew Pinsky is a sex and love therapist who hosts an advice show on The Discovery Channel. Not that I watch it, no, really I don't. That's like watching Martha Stewart when you you're living on fermented mare's milk in the Mongolian desert. What's the point?
For some reason Dr. Drew has been doing a commercial for one of the YOU CAN GET IT UP AND KEEP IT UP drugs where he mentions E.D. -- erectile dysfuctnion -- a minimum of 352 times. Except that when Dr. Drew says the word E-rectile it comes out REP-tile for some reason. That's why I don't know which drug he is shilling for, because I was so fascinated by the sound, followed closely by the concept, of REPTILE dysfunction, that I couldn't wait for him to say it again.
Reptile dysfunction. I wonder if this is something that only happens to reptiles over sixty-five. Or it's something that happens to almost half of the reptile population over forty. Does it affect their self esteem when it dysfuncts? Or interfere with normal reptile activity with a partner? And does that partner have to be a reptile for the dysfunction to count?
Of course Dr. Drew's commercial has nothing on the impact, if you will, of the half hour informercial that has been running ad nauseum for DUALACTIONCLEANSE.com. The one that starts out by saying -- no -- EXCLAIMING!!! that you can feel as alive as you did in your twenties, but first you have to get your colon unclogged.
Yep, you can lose as much as fifteen pounds just by getting rid of that compacted fecal matter you've been carrying around. Look, if they can say those words on TV, I can say it here.
I don't know about you, but between chipping away at the uh, stuff that's clogging our colons versus repairing those unfortunate reptile dysfunctions, I'm more comfortable taking my chances with the reptiles.
Written by jevanslink Blog about this entry |
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This entry has 7 comments: (Add your own)
-
Reptile dysfunction sounds like something my brother's iguana used to have. So THAT'S why the eggs never hatched...
Anna -
No one wants a limp lizard. As for the colon cleansing, I prefer to stick with a nice plate of rancid kung pao.
-
Floppy peckers and clogged up butts.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Love ya, mean it.
A ;) -
I wonder if the reptile dysfunction pill allows the offending member to change colors too?
Alexis has the hots for Dr. Drew (ok....she says he's cute, same difference) and I thought she liked the big dumb burly type, like me.......(HAHA)
Chris
http://inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings.blogspot.com/
6/29/06 12:48 AM