day-to-day-life-by-Lucille4364/

Thank you sugar shack for the beautiful graphic.          I just lost a complerte entry.  Probably because Of not getting much sleep worrying about Spunky, he is back sliding on his meds.  Last night I WOKE UP AND HE WAS AGAINST ME ABOUT 3 THIS MORNING and he was trembling.  I think he is getting sick.  So I suppose another trip to the Vet.  They cut down his steroids  and this crops up.  I do know from Alan that steroids weaken your immune system once the dose starts going down.  So I suppose it works in Humans as well as animals, in the same way.  I do want to say one thing to clarify Alan's illness.  He stood no chance of getting well, he had no remissions in 7 years he had no control over his arms or legs, they jumped when they wanted to no matter what he did.  By the time he decided Hospice was the only way to go he was very dependent but was determined to stay in his handicapped apt.  We all worked but I also knew if he was at his apartment I could get there in a natter of minutes.   He could not see to read his cards. ,  I fed him his cake.  They were so good to him.  He had a shower every other day, with the help of one of his friends we got a barber to come in  and trim his hair and  of course Alan would not let any one touch his beard.  The mortician asked Ron if he wanted it shaved off and Ron said trim it but if you try to cut it  Alan may retaliate.  I know the friend that threw the party for him just could not ubderstand why we did not take him to the hospital.  Alan chose that and he also made me write down the song he wanted at his funeral.  Enough of that.  Just felt the need to let everyone

 know, what Alan did , he made that decision alone.  Thank god he did cause there was no way I could have handled all the things that had to be done.  Alan knew how bad it would get.  He was not my most reliable but he was  the one  That showed how much he cared about me.  Well I need to get woke so will go make

.. up if possible, so coffee time..

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 Thank you Sugat Shack for thegraphic of the dogs.   I started out this day all wrong by trying to balance our checkbook.  I have a hard time with that any time let alone at 6:00am.  That was a big no no and a resolve never to do it again maybe never try to balance it ever again.  Wrong thing to do any time let alone 6:00 AM.  Jack in those pics of your campers and your motor home , is the motor home the one you are using now?  That was abut the size of Joe's bosses that he took to Arizona for the summer only he also had a place there.  He would not let any oe but Joe work on the  motor home  cause he knew that Joe took his time and did things right.  That is right, Jack, I said something nice about Joe!!!!  Joe is really good to me, but he drives me crazy thinking he needs to  drive me everywhere.  I am the kind of person that does not like to shop, probably cause there is never a whole lot of momey to spend and so I just go and get what I went after and I am home.  He likes to mope around looking at this or buying that and it takes forever. I want to thank everyone that said that they liked the picture I posted of Alan. What you saw was a tribute to him by friends and family.  The man that thought of it was next to Alan, a kind of short skinny man.  He was the one that worked at Kinkos.  He even baked Alan's birthday cake.  We only had one problem as Alan grew closer to the end of his life, his friend felt he should be in the hospital and of course there was nothing to be  gained by it plus he was on hospice, by Alan's choice.  However he was a good friend.  So we will move on on and Friday his Birthday  he will get some flowers and I will post a handsome picture of him.  To me he was always handsome.  Think I was a little predjiduce????  Maybe a little.  I do not know if anyone is having so much trouble with bugs which are supposed to remain outside at this time of year, landing on Joe, me  or Spunky and getting free ride into our house and then biting us.  Spunky was shaking his head and I looked in his ear and here was a little round black bug headed into his ear .  I don't know of I got it or not.  The darn thing just kept on going .  I would get a finger nail on it but before I could get it  it would becrawling right on.  It got up  to 92 yesterday and the air was so oppressive.  It reminded me of Memphis when we went to visit Elvis memorial.   I got out of the car and walked a few feet and rain came straight down and it turned off like a faucet.  Humid was not the word for it.   That was when we were both working and could take vacations.  Of course after Marty and his family moved to Texas that is where we went on vacation.  I had to see those 3 grandkids.  I am going to have to call my grandaughter today and find out why she hasn't called for a while.  Last time I heard from her the baby was cutting a tooth at 2 months of age and was really letting her know he did not need that tooth if  it was going to be like that. In a way I wish I lived closer to them and in another way I do not think I could wrestle little kids.  A baby I could handle.  It is supposed to get up to 95 here today.  Hope our air conditioner holds out.  Oh yes and remember the fridge that I was so upset with, it is still fixed and behaving like a charm.  Our stupid mayor of Lincoln tacked on an additional 3 cent  to our gasoline tax here in Ne. when everyone is barely making enough to fill their tanks and wants to raise property tax by 1 or 2 %.   We are 6th high on taxes and it does not take a rocket scientest to figure out why business do not stay here.  He wants to make the city the pristine city it has always been a number of years ago.  Pristine my foot.  It never has been.  They are moving the State Fair that has been here for years and years to Grand Island  because the University wants that ground and what the university wants it will get.  I am sure that you all are thinking why is she telling us, well I will tell you why, our Mayor would not listen I am sure and I need  to vent.  OK all done with that except to say we have one of the prettiest Capitols  of all and Joe said "why not move that to if they are moving the fair".  We have not been to the fair in years but it is just the idea  that they want money from us little people because " they need it to do all the things that needs done" but we are fine as is.  I am so hungry for a safe fresh tomato grown on a vine in my sons yard.  I can hadly wait.  He said they are doing pretty well.  I will not pay the price they are asking in the stores fora tomato that tastes like card board, and may be contaminated.  Of course you all probablyheard of our NEBRASKA BEEF RECALL.

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Tears of Joy.  The ring on Connies hand, Alan made for her.I overslept if I had any place special to be but since I don't really have a specific time and place to be, I am right on time, in my estimation.  Course Joe would say I am not  right, any way.  I really should not say that.  I know he thinks it but since I chewed him out for being so negative he has been pretty good.  Jack, that man will not smile and the rare ones I get with the camera he is always looking goofy in some other way.  He hates getting his pic taken.  I never have to worry about it but once in a while cause I am on the other side of the camera, most of the time.  I have debated about putting a pic up, but I am going to post it today, I think.  I never sent it to Terry Ann cause it is not the best face of MS or my son in the  later stage of his life.  However it got much worse.  But since I am leading up to showing the best on his birthday the 18th I am going to show you one of the most emotional birthdays he ever had.  It was next to the last birthday he ever had.  We still had his apartment Ron was able to eke out enough money to pay the rent on it till we got a caregiver for him to live in at his own Apt.  His friends wanted to throw him a birthday party to try to cheer him up so one of them worked at Kinkos and got a bunch of balloons that had Kinko on it.  Joe and I went to the nursing home and picked him up, and it was so hot that day the air in our car just barely cooled.  One thing a person with MS can not take is heat.  I gave him the line that I was going to take him to the apt. and fix dinner for him that was not nursing home food.  I had bought him the outfit he had on for his birthday.  It was not his style at all but it could be put on fairly well but I could tell he didn't really care for it.  By the time we got to the apt. I think we all wished we had put on even cooler clothes.  I was wheeling him in the wheelchair and he was truly suprised when I opened the door and wheeled him in and everyone yelled "suprise" and many of his friends and a lot of his family was there.  For nearly 3 years prior he had to prop his head on his hand on the arm of the chair because he had a hard time holding his head up even for short periods of time.  I could do nothing about the shaggy hair or his untrimmed beard.  He was so very emotional and grateful and even through his tears happy, to be in his apt.  We were looking for a care giver so he could live his last days at home, and I think that day he truly believed that .  He despised the nursing home and I could not blame him.  If he had been about 40 years older maybe he could have accepted it better.  In the picture with him is his sister Connie.  This is the next to last picture  I will ever post showing the deeply emotional side of his life. Oh yes, I did want to add  that Kelly asked what RSD was and also Ketamine so on her Journal which is named Pride and Prejiduce, I answered her in her comment section yesterday and that was the name of the disease Chips wife had and the med they gave her which is mostly used by Veterinarians.  For the disease she had it took desperate measures.  Enough of that.  We think Chip is back from wherever they went over the 4th.  There were lights in one window in his house across the alley and Joe thought he heard some noise comming from Tony's so it could get pretty lively.  One reason  I am posting Alan's picture is to show everyone, that damn disease is not discriminatory.  It is a nasty disease but fortunately not everyone goes the whole time without remissions.  I am sorry my Journal is such a downer today but let me tell you a god part.  After everyone left but Joe and I and him, for the first time in a long while he was rolling around his  apt. breaking the balloons with his wheelchair with a smile on his face,  and a thank you, mom and Joe.  That meant so much.  I will never ever show the picture of his last Birthday.  This is the last except for happy pics.  I miss him, and always will.  He went on hospice when we got a care giver.  We could have never  done it alone.  Shirl knows how valuble hospice can be.  Some really think it is the wrong way to go but if not for them he could never have been in his home to die.

It is going to be 95 today so I think typical July weather is here to stay for a while.  Jack I have your little naked, (Ithink) man and scoop in storage for the next big snow.  I will need his help.  Ron stopped by and his dog Frank has allergies also and his little country vet gives their dog allergy shots. She fills the vial and Ron stops and gets it and shoots Frank up himself.  I thnk if Spunky back slides on us now that we will be cutting his prednisone down to one a day starting today, we will call Ron's vet.  Ron is an EMT, yet until his hearing deteriorates more and they had to get a 35 year old man out of the bathroom.  He has several health problems but  he went in the bathroom and passed out with his back against the door so no one could get in.  The man was in a sitting position  against the door unconscious and his head had fallen forward and was cutting off his air way.  They were trying to get the door off the hinges but Ron said he finally squeezed through and when Ron pulled him away from the door he became more alert but very combative cause he still was not  really out of whatever spell he had.  I could never be a nurse or EMT.  No way, No how.  I am hearing signs of coffee being made so I think it is my turn to restore my depleted energy. 

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Good morning every one.  Hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July.  I know Debbie and Terri did.  I am so happy for them.  I knew inner ear infections could do awful things to a person.  My mother in law had one and she could not get out of bed and was so like your dads symptoms I was just sure that was what was raising caine with his body but having had a lite stroke myself I felt that could have happened to.  I am so happy for you and him and your entire family.  Like I told Terri never count we 77 and 78 year olds out cause we are tougher than you think.  I am just so glad your dad is doing so much better.  Prayers do work!!!!  I got up this morning about an hour ago the first time. and it was still quite dark, went back to my couch, (yes, I managed to get the couch about 4:30 AM).  Joe and Spunky are in bed.  Spunky was doing very well and then last night he got a little itchy cause there were fire works everywhere and even though he did not really show it I think he got edgy and jumpy and got things riled up, a little but it was pretty easy to calm him down.  That prednisone is  a steroid and makes him so hungry.  He is overweight any way so we still try to stick to our guns and keep his diet lite.  We were on cloud nine.  Our neighbors finally left yesterday sometime after The other alcoholic brother got done with his garbage route around 10.  It is threatning rain right now, thunder and lightning but I really hope they wait it out.  They have a fold down camper.  Jack you can not count how many times we have caved in to their mom when she was alive, she to was an alcoholic, and they would invite us over for a get together and mend fences in a way if we could.  We would eventually say ok and take our own pepsi and  we would make small talk and play nice and it would not be long until we would not be speaking again.  When Chip and Anthony found her dead in her chair at home we were on speaking terms.  They came over here.  Anthony was the boy I babysat for.  Chip was standing there crying with a beer in his hand and holding Anthonys hand.  I brought them in to my house and asked Chip ifhe was sure she was not breathing, although I knew she looked awful the evening before.  She was no longer able to drink but the alcohol had dione its job.  She has emphasyma so bad she could barely breathe and of course their was extensive liver damage.  We wlked over to the house and sure enough she was gone.  Chip had called the police so I waited with him and Anthony, his sister went into total hysterics because the police would not let anyone in until they were finnished with the exam of her body.  I had to physically restrain her and talk her down until they let her in. That time our friendship lasted for over a year.  Maybe 2, I should call it a truce.  When Joe went in the hospital Chip and Tony would let our 2 dogs out if I got delayed.  Chip would  do what he could to get the garbage out, for me.  Then Chips wife Heather the mother of Anthony was diagnosed as having RSD which was extremely painful, and affected her body terribly.  They finally found someone in New Jersey to see if they could help her.  She was given Ketomine which is a powerful drug and they brought her home and they had been warned she would not be responsible for her actions and needed to be monitered carefully.  Chip left her home alone with Anthony and she told all of there neighbors to come in and take whatever they wanted.  Chip was over here next door with his brother drinking.  She called me and told me what she was doing so I went over and told Chip he better get home if he wanted a house left.  Him and Tony were both drunk.  He went home  and he had to go around the neighborhood and ask for everything back.  He left her alone again and came back over here to drink with his brother.  She called me and told me she and Anthony were going to a shelter.  Again I told Chip she was not responsible and he better get home.  He got there and they were gone.  From that day forward he blamed me for everything that happened.  They did split up , I guess but that stuff they gave her was still screwing her up but I could not get that across to any one.  I finally told Chip and Tony I  was out of it and was not going to be responsible for anyone.  They thought I knew where she went but the one thing she did was not tell me or anyone where she was but that she and Athony were safe.  They did not believe me so they would take turns ringing my doorbell and trying to get me to tell them where she was.  I truly did not know, but they did not believe me.  Finally I convinced her TO talk with her mom and she took a bus home and went to live with her mom and dad.  Chip badgered her constantly.  What I could not get through his or her families head the girl was still screwed up on the Ketominme they gave her so she could walk and eat but she was not doing normal things, I even copied off the internet about the effects of the drug but not one person paid attention.  One thing led to another until I got so angry I washed my hands of all of them.  That was 2 years ago and I broke off the relationshuip with Heather because  I simply was accused of everything that went wrong without even being near any of them.  I was walking down the alley comming home from my then regular walk and Chip was loading their beer cans into his pick up and he called my name so I stopped to see what he wanted and he told me that I was responsible for their divorce and called me every name in the book.  He did not know Joe was in our yard and heard everything and Joe said, NO MORE.  Sorry  to go into so much detail but she is back to fighting the RSD again and I broke off all ties with her.  She understood that I would be under constant attack from him and his brother and his brothers grilfriend, the blonde bimbo that drank beer for beer with Chip and Tony.  The day I saw her get picked up, the blonde bimbo, for driving on a suspended liscence, no ins., driving while drunk, improper registration and taken to detox and it happened right in front of our house.  She was out bvy the following Mon.  Got her car out of impound and was driving the whole year her liscence was suspended while drinking.  So now you know why I despise my neighbours.  They still try to talk to me but I refuse to set myself up for more harrassment.  Well Jack that is your reason why I do not want anything to do with them.  As nice as you seem to be, would you try to be friends with them?  UHUH.  I have used more space than I ever intended but I just wanted everyone to know why we are so happy when they left for the weekend.  Maybe the rain is not raining where they are.  We stayed in and watched a movie and then watched fireworks on TY sychronized with the Boston pops and that was so pretty.  We did NOT have beer and they were gone.  Thank you God.  Betty I hope you enjoyed your fireworks display and Koda didn't get to shook up. Lisa and Kelly I hope also that you enjoyed your evening.  All in all it turned out tobe pretty good.  Mort I hope you and your mum had a good day.

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Thank you Sugar Shack for the in his hands graphic.      Good  Morning to all that makes it to my Journal today, and welcome.  I am a bit dull today thanks to Spunky and Joe.  Yes Jack, those 2.  After all  I am so innocent and perfect that NOTHING would be my fault.  I wish I were just a tad more perfect, but hey, god had to stop somewhere. lol  Spunky is so much better all day and clear up till bedtime, then he decides that he needs to turn on the itch cycle.  One reason is because he goes out to do his natural ritual and a bug or mosquito gets him and he is off and running.  Once he settles down  he will sleep for about an hour or two and then  he wants back out.  Usually turns out that he has to go out since prednisone causes more frequent trips to take care of mother nature, but he has his eyes pealed for a rabbit or cat or anything in order to howl at something when most people  are sleeping.  I am at the door in my PJ's whispering loudly , Spunky, come on in.  You will wake the drunk and the gay.  He is pretty good about coming in but by then I am rady to have breakfast at midnight and start my day.  Of course  then Joe wakes up and he does not realize it is whispering time, so he, what sounds to me, like yells, if you don't get to bed you are going to get all woke up.  I will let him in.  Then I spend 10 minutes trying to get his sleep ridden mind that Spunky and I have been there done that.  We are readsy to go to sleep again.  Finally we all settle down.  Blessed peace and quiet and I close my eyes and they pop open.  Just as I am about going to actually sleep Spunky starts itching.  So I get up because I am hoping Joe will stay asleep.    Not that lucky, we go through the whole routine again.  Did I ever tell you that we have lively nights around here and don't forget my age.  At 78  and Joe on every kind of med to keep him from even thinking of viagra or such, (thank goodness) we are actually meant to sleep but instead we are wide awake, with nothing to do to kill time.  So eventually we all sleep, again.  I hope my caREFULLY WORDED MESSAGE CAME ACROSS LOUD AND CLEAR.  WE DON'T HAVE A CHIOICE BUT TO SLEEP.  Jack, do not say it??? Whatever it is , i KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING  and it can't  be good if you  say it out loud.  Spunky would be bathed outside in a baby pool but we have to leave the cream rinse on for 10 min. and if  we were out that long we would get eaten alive by flies.  I think whatever is behind that fence may be calling flies.  I do not peek.  Shirl get that brother of yours in hand.  By now I bet he is thinking all kinds of WRONG things and only you can reel him in.  He is right about one thing we get a bath right along with Spunky.  He shakes, water flies and my glasses are covered with water.  Maybe restrict him from your garden.  Not Spunky, Jack.  It is fun to grow a small garden.  I have never grown squash but I remember mom and dad did.  I think what I hated most when I was little was getting my small can of kerosene and stick and walking the rows of the potatoe plants and scraping potatoe bugs off into the kerosese.  At first it was fun but that does not last long when you are 8 or 9.  Betty it is good to have you and Koda back.  You weren't gone long but that was even to long.  So welcome back.  Do any of you remember the pack of 3 sticky paper that came in a roll and you hung them in every room in the house especially the kitchen and living room and if a fly landed on it it was stuck.  Joe put one up on the porch yesterday in front and that think looks like it has quite a few dead flies stuck to it but the wierd part of it is the flies just are not hanging around there any more.  I am really bouncing around from subject to subject today.  How many people think this is the longest election year in History???  I  would not mind listening to them, the candidates if I thought either of them could shed some real light on how they were going to solve problems.  Like the economy.  Obama never mentions retirees.  At least McCain is old enough to think of we retirees.  I am speaking of real retirees who can't even supplement their income with part time work.  People who have lost their jobs, younger people are filling those jobs cause they can't find decent paying full time jobs.  They say buy a hybrid car to save gas.    Now I would just like to know how the heck  they think someone that is retired is going to pay that.  We live in the city of Lincoln so we pay wheel tax and it is a lot.  Yet other people like Ron and Kathy does not pay a cent of wheel tax cause they don't live here yet they are here daily.  Then to add insult to injury our stupid city officials tacked on an additional 3 cents at the gas statiuon.  Oh well I better get off this subject but it is so frustrating.  Jack is rich, maybe I can hit him up .  Lol  June, I reallly don't know how you make it with who ever are living with you now.  There has been a lot of ins and outs we got to know you  as far as your kids since since we got to know you. Debbie knows what it is like to struggle.  I know Mort has a hard time making his income stretch now that he can't work.  Lets hope he comes out ahead when he sees the MS nurse.  The young people like Debbies daughter is ok because they both work.  By the way Deb, isn't her feet pretty.  Not often I say feet are pretty.  Need coffee tp turn off the bitch session.  I bet everyone is saying, go for it!!!!

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  That brown lump with the tiny white was Spunky trying to dry humself off.  I feel so blessed.  I did not realize how many  people like this old ladies writings or rantings.  The ranting part is done.  I threw that mood out the window last night.  Thank you all, each and everyone of you for your kind words to me.  It is people like you, everyone of you, that help me cope with everything when memories get to me.   A special thank you to Shirl who has also lost a lot in her life, and Mort who  has the real problems that is not temporary, still had room for thinking of me.  I could go on and on but you all know how much I appreciate the uplifting words.  And that is enough of that or I will cry again and I am not going to get to that point today.  Last day of this month and it is supposed to still be good temperature wise.  Spunky seems better but it is a slow process. We gave him his special bath and cream rinse yesterday, and I think the prednisone is doing its job.  Joe was so funny.  It is something he would never do for anyone but his buddy.  We tok the glass doors of so we could get to him easier .  He really was not to bad since this is the first time we have ever done his bath ourselves.  Joe put  old pants and clean sox on and crawled in the tub so I could work one side and  he could get the other.  Spunky actually believed we were trying to help. He has   only had 2 baths since we got him and then I have used a dry bath on him..  He has started responding to the steroids only last night we had to get up and let him out side because the steroids make him drink tons of water,  As you all know what goes in has to come out.  It is funny , I have figured his "I want in" howl out, from I see a rabbit, or a cat., or a squirel. His  "I want in"' is kind of a pitiful sound like  do not forget me.  We take him back Thursaday to the vet.  He does very well in the mornings but like any of we humans if we have something not right with our body we don't act as good in the late afternoon and evening.  Ron called and thanked me for the birthday card and he is on the volunteer fire dept. in Cortland and he said a shed with hay in it caught fire and they all think it was caused by  a bottle rocket.  Any way the best way to put it out was to scoop the burning hay out and proceed to put it out.  He made the comment that he didn't realize how hard it was to  put out even on the ground and torn apart.  He is also an EMT and he made the comment that he thought he was going to have to give up on his EMT because his hereditary hearing loss has got so much worse and like he said he must be able to hear the patient.  I am just so glad that he can see that day on his own rather than to have someone tell him.  They have looked into hearing aids and for his type of hearing problem  they would be extremely expensive.  Then the chance they woulkd not work as they should,  I am sure Jack can understand the turmoil he is in because of his problems.  I just admire Jack so much for his knowledge, sense of humour and not being bashful (hhhmmm, Jack bashful) Nah about his hearing loss.  He does not appear to let it bring him down.  One good thing, he has his wife Sherry to interpret things he can not hear, and I am sure she is very much a necessity in his life cause he worships the ground she walks on.  Kind of likes his sister to.  If I think I can get by with it I think I will psost a picture of Joe after bathing Spunky.  Only for Spunky would Joe get in the tub with a dog.  I did truly think it was funny.  My alcoholic's bloonde bimbo is definately back.  Tony, his brother , and her are all hard core alcoholics.  Oh well, it is their liver's or should that be  liver meaning all 3.  Oh well who cares.  I wonder if Jan will be back if they went on holiday?  I heard from Jerico one day late last week and everytime it reminds me I must answer her mothers e-mail.  Oh and I got 6 e-mails from my computer pal in Canada.  All jokes except one actual newsy one about her life and family.  When I forward Jokes or anything it seems I have to send them 2 or 3 people at a time.  I have one or 2 addresses that must not be down right in my address book cause it says  "to correct the ones that is stopping it from going out " and it list names but  If I send to those people one at a time it goes through.  Oh well I am going to have to get my egghead beating the computer  in my side bar to straighten this PC up.  And that reminds me that  I need too tell you all my fridge is working great.  My Schwan man will be here today but I have cut way back on him.  They to had to raise their prices because of the cost of fuel to run  the trucks on. WEll all of you wonderful encouraging people that helped me see that there is a life even at 78 to keep on going, so I am just going through that with as much gusto as I can.  I started this aboyut 6:20 this morning and their was gusto in my mind and it kept getting its thoughts  turned aroud.  Better now at 8:00 and I am really done.

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