Jimmy's Journal

Party Time !

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:08:55 GMT

It's been a dull week so far and today's Hump Day, so I'll be donning my cape and mask and heading out into the cruel world to save ladies in distress. A lot of them protest and say, "Go away!", but I know they're just shy. I've got to remember to put on the right costume 'cause last week I wore my boots and spurs and brought my whip and that just caused problems (You're sick! I know).

So, I'll be heading out to an AREA 51 somewhere for happy hour...probably Lakes Cafe, but I never really know 'til I get there. I've got to get my "missions" in order, because starting tomorrow, I'll probably be hooking up with some of my lady friends. But tonight, I'm just going to wing it and see what happens.

Hurricane Dolly is hitting the Texas coast at the time of this entry and one of the things that piss me off is the coverage by the media. It's a Catagory I hurricane at best and every time you turn on the news, there's always some asshole standing in the wind and rain, giving you a report. What you don't see is the same asshole sitting in a safe room drinking coffee at the motel and only stepping out into the elements to film the report. I'm always concerned about storms and weather, but I don't need 24 hour a day coverage.

While I am aware that the media generates its advertising income based on ratings, there should be a point in time where you decide to be a news organization or a whorehouse. Witness the mindless, childlike fawning and doting over Barack Obama. It's an NBA Basketball mentality and every news organization is subscribing to it.

Although I've said this for months, the fact that the media is biased in their presidential coverage is finally coming to the forefront with shows like Letterman and Leno doing nightly jokes about it. The accusations are also coming from knowledgeable sources from other television and radio stations as well.

Can dogs talk? Check out this video and see!

The Pictures: Places is the subject today. A few of my favorite pics from around the world and few that are a little farther out. You really should view these shots in the larger mode.

This Date In History: 1548; Mary, Queen of Scots, aged six, leaves Scotland for her arranged future marriage to the French dauphin Francis. 1848; The British government removes the restriction that prevents Jews from serving in Parliament, which allows Lionel Nathan Rothschild to join the House of Commons.

1952; The Free Officers, a revolutionary group led by Gamal Abdel Nasser, ousts Egypt's King Faruk I in a coup. Nasser himself comes to power two years later. 1996; Kerri Strug clinches the Olympic gold medal for the U.S. women's gymnastics team when she makes a final vault despite having torn ligaments in her ankle in a previous vault.

Birthdays: Raymond Chandler, novelist (1888), Haile Selassie, last emperor of Ethiopia (1892), Pee Wee Reese, professional baseball player (1918), Sir Richard Rogers, architect (1933), Anthony Kennedy, Supreme Court justice (1936).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of horse manure. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Horse manure," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

That's it for today my little pickled pepper pickers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

A Fit Of Nostalgia

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 22:19:38 GMT

This is one Friday that I've been looking forward to. My attempt to go out on Hump Day was sabotaged by a number of bizarre happenings, but all is well and under control. I have had to put this week's "missions" on the back burner due to conflicting schedules, but all have been re-scheduled for next week. Thankfully, my lady friends understand my little world and put up with me.

Tonight's trek to AREA 51 will take me to a number of places that I haven't been to in a while and I'm rearing to go. I haven't been to these places in a while and it will be nice to see some of my other pals who go there. The current plan is to hit these places early for happy hour and take it from there. No rhyme, no reason, just do it !

The TAC Award has had a nomination from Jude, author of My Way. Retired Air Force Master Sgt. Mark Evans and teen son, Kent shipped pan pizzas to troops in Iraq for Independence Day. They did it with cash donations and help from DHL and Lou Malnati's.

I agree 100 percent with Judes's nominees and a TAC Award goes to the patriotic father and son team.

If anyone becomes aware of person(s) deserving of the TAC Award, feel free to nominate them. In the case of multiple nominations, we'll poll the readers as to who should receive the award (or we'll just give it to 'em all, anyway).

The Cats Ass Trophy has had no nominees this week as yet but nominations are open until Monday at noon. I'm relatively sure someone will surface who fits the description.

The Pictures: Nostalgia is my personal theme for today and some of the older pictures from AREA 51 are the subject matter. AREA 51 was born in this particular building and the name of the restaurant-lounge has changed over the years. I'll be giving you more detailed information when I finish writing "The Story of AREA 51 ."

The restaurant-lounge began as a private club named the Le Sabre Club and later was operated under many names, including Delaney Street (15 years), La Tasca (2 years) and Krystel's Restaurant and Lounge, which is where the majority of these pictures were taken. I remember those days fondly and I'd like to share them with you.

In the interim, if you like Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong, I guarantee this video will please you.

This Date In History: 64; Two-thirds of Rome burns. The emperor, Nero, rebuilds the city afterwards but remains unpopular and is driven from the city four years later. It was suspected that he was playing his violin while the city burned and the rumor was later confirmed later by Jack Benny. 1936; Led by generals Francisco Franco and Emilio Mola, a rebellion of the army against the Spanish Republic begins the Spanish Civil War.

1969; Senator Edward Kennedy drives his car off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island, Massachusetts. Although his passenger, Mary Joe Kopechne, drowns, he fails to report the accident until the following morning. The major reason for not reporting the accident was due to the fact that he's an asshole and he was drunk.

Birthdays: My father, James Sr., rest in peace, Dad (1911), Robert Hooke, scientist (1635), Nathalie Sarraute, writer (1900), Nelson Mandela, South African president (1918), John Glenn, astronaut and politician (1921).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Rose for this heartwarming cowboy story.

An old cowboy sat down at Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

The woman asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, fixing fences, branding cows and working on my barn, so I guess I am a cowboy."

The woman said, "I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. Every thought that comes to my mind is about women."

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the cowboy and said, "Are you a real cowboy?" The cowboy replied, " I always thought I was , but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

There are many laws akin to Murphy's Law (if something can possibly go wrong, it will) and here are a few:

1) Law of mechanical repair: After your hands have been covered with grease, your nose will itch and you will have to pee.

2) Law of gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3) Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4) Law of biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

5) Law of random numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

6) Law of the alibi: If you tell your boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning, you will.

7) Law of variation:If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one that you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

8) Law of the bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

9) Law of close encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

10) Law of physical appearance: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

That's it for today my little mercedes bends. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimsSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Possums Journal, Jimmys AREA 51, ham and eggs, Jimmys-MySpace, My Perfect Martini, Possums Videos, Jimmys Pictures

I've Got The Music In Me !

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:06:56 GMT

I'm not sure if you know this, but I am a musician at heart. Although I've owned a real estate company for 25 years and have been in real estate for 36 years (I started at age 12), wine, women and song have always been my top priorities.

I began performing when I was about ten years old along with my brother and we always had a band. I currently perform and have performed as a vocalist, guitar and keyboard player. I enjoy all forms of music (with the exception of cRap) and I'm comfortable performing everything from Frank Sinatra to The Everly Brothers to The Eagles.

But, if the truth be known, I cut my teeth on country music. My brother and I were supposed to perform on a TV show when we were ages 12 and 11 (18 months apart), but we got nervous and told our parents we didn't want to sing on the show.

My parents weren't pushy stage parents and an opportunity went by the wayside. We sang all of the Everly Brothers songs at the time and the TV station manager was very disappointed that we didn't perform. Since my father was from Alabama and my mother was from North Carolina, country music was the seed the started us on the nightclub trail. The following song has always been a favorite of mine and I was fortunate to find the video. The group is called 2nd Generation and they've got a shipload of excellent videos on You Tube. I hope you enjoy them.

The Pictures: Budweiser, the King of Beers, has probably influenced everyone's life at one time or another. Aside from the fact that the shareholders just sold the 150 year old American company to a Brazilian company based in Belgium, I'm relatively sure it will continue affect everyone in one way or another.

Today's pictures reflect how Budweiser might be used or applied to some of the topics and names in the world of who's who. Some of the pictures are a bit risque (pronounced risk-kay for New Orleans residents), so don't look if you're easily offended or have had a humor bypass.

This Date In History: 1917; Alexander Kerensky is named prime minister of the Russian Provisional Government established after the overthrow of Tsar Nicholas II. He only lasts in office until the Bolshevik revolution That Fall. 1933; In his monoplane, the Winnie Mae, American aviator Wiley Post completes the first solo around-the-world flight in 7 days,18 hours and 49 minutes. 1934: Bank robber John Dillinger, labeled by the FBI as "public enemy number one," is gunned down by federal agents as he leaves the Biograph Theater in Chicago.

1937; President Franklin D. Roosevelt suffers his first major legislative defeat when the U.S. Senate rejects his bid to expand the Supreme Court. 1977; The Chinese Communist Party expels the "Gang of Four," who had tried to seize power after the death of Mao Zedong. Deng Xiaoping is reinstated as deputy premier.

Birthdays: George Mendel, Austrian monk and founder of modern hereditary theory (1822), Edward Hopper, painter (1882), Bob Dole, politician (1923), George Clinton, singer and bandleader (1941), Danny Glover, actor (1947).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Linda, for the following story.

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over me and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture it's supposed to be a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help her with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle, which is spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand a says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea and then....," he said with a deep sigh, ".....let's put all the corn flakes back into the box."

A man asked an old Indian the name of his wife. The Indian replied, "Wife named Three Horse." The mans said, "That's an unusual Indian name. What does it mean?"The Indian said, "It is an old Indian name. Means Nag, Nag, Nag!"

That's it for today my little puddy tats. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

The Sun Comes Up Early On Saturdays !

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:25:58 GMT

Well, I wanted a different sort of weekend and different is what I got! I was off to an early start Friday and my first destination was a place called La Carreta. I have been there many times and performed once or twice as well, but that wasn't the reason I went there.

Have you ever "jonesed" for anything? Well, I had a desire for Cuban coffee. So, I headed off to La Carreta for some Cuban coffee and then went into the lounge where I ran into an old family friend who I haven't seen for some time. We chatted for about an hour, catching up on family matters and I was ready to leave when my old friend Manolo came in.

Manolo is the vocalist and keyboard player who performs there and I've performed with his band several times. He invited me to sing and I intended to do so when my cell phone rang. It was a lady friend who wanted to meet me for a drink. Frankly, my plan A was to wing it solo for the evening and when I told her where I was, she didn't want to drive that far south. So, I suggested that we get together next week and she agreed.....until five minutes later.

She called again asking why we couldn't meet at the same place we had met in the past. Once again, I came up with what I thought was a good reason why I couldn't do that and once again, she agreed.....until five minutes later.

Perhaps you can see where this is going. After several more phone calls, I just gave up and agreed to meet her later. I apologized to Manolo and promised I'd see him another day and while finishing my drink, the cell phone rang again. At this point in time, I seriously considered just turning off the phone, but when I looked at my caller ID, it was a different lady.

I answered the call and she too wanted to know where I was, When I told her, she asked me to meet her at our normal meeting place. It just so happens that I did want to see her, but my plan A was to fly solo Friday and hook up with her Saturday. So much for plan A and alternate plan B, as well.

I went to meet lady #1 at Lakes Cafe and Pub, and we had a couple of cocktails. A little later, her son called her and she had to leave to pick him up, as his friend's car wouldn't start. The timing was less than perfect because by that time, lady #2 had already called and said she also had to go home.

So, what do you do at 1:30 a.m. when both of you lady friends are not available (don't go there)? You go to a poker game. I ended the rest of the evening playing poker and yes, there was no need to use my headlights on the way home. It was an invigorating evening and at the end of nine endings, two hits, no runs, one error and one left on base.

The Pictures: Sister Jeanne sent me some neat pictures of cute little animals, so I thought I'd share them with you. As per my wont, there's a couple of ringers thrown in (and yes, Jackie, I think I'm going to show the new Woody for while ((pun intended)).

This Date In History: 1773; Pope Clement XIV dissolves the Jesuit order of priests. The ban remains in effect until 1814, when the Jesuits are revived by Pope Pius V11. 1861; Confederate general Thomas Jackson acquires his nickname "Stonewall" in the first Battle of Bull Run.

1925; A Tennessee jury finds high school teacher Johns Scopes guilty of teaching evolution, and he is fined $100. 1970; Egypt completes the Aswan High Dam on the Nile River, a major Soviet-funded project that creates Lake Nasssar and provides much of the country's electrical power.

Birthdays: Ernest Hemingway, writer (1899), Hart Crane, poet (1899), Janet Reno, U.S. attorney general (1938), Gary Trudeau, cartoonist (1948), Robin Williams, actor and comedian (1952).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks, "What's the matter?" The blonde says. "My mom called me and said that she and my dad are getting a divorce."

The boss says, "I'm sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day and relax?" The blonde replies, "No, I'll be ok. I'm better off here and working. It helps me keep it off my mind." The boss says, "Ok, just let me know if you need anything."

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks into her office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes over to her and asks, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?" The blonde says, "I'll be alright. It's just that my sister just called me and said that her parents are getting a divorce, too."

John was talking to a little girl who was the daughter of some friends and she said she wanted to be president one day. Both of her parents were liberal Democrats and were standing beside her, both abeam with delight.

John said, "If you were president, what would be the first thing you would do?" The little girl said, "I would give money to the people on welfare so that they can buy food."

John said, "That's a worthy goal and you don't have to wait to be president. You can start now by coming over to my house and cleaning all the dog poop in my front yard. I will pay you ten dollars and then we can go over to the grocery store where the guy on welfare hangs out and you can give him the ten dollars to use for food.

The little girl thought for a moment and said, "Why doesn't the guy on welfare just come over and clean the dog poop and you can pay him the ten dollars?"

John said, "Ah, welcome to the Republican party."

That's it for today my little deviled legs. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

It Was A Disaster From The Start !

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:43:47 GMT

The trek to AREA 51 turned into mission impossible last evening. I was preparing to leave for destinations unknown when my computer began acting up. After around ten minutes of frustration, I simply shut it off and figured I'd fix it later.

As I opened the door to go to my car, it dawned on me that maybe an umbrella would be a good companion as it had begun to drizzle. Hardy soul that I am, I grabbed my umbrella and forged ahead to my car.

The car, evidently a participant in the coup that was unfolding around me, refused to start. After a few more attempts at starting the car, I gave up and decided that the odds were not in my favor and I turned on the TV to see what was on. The newly installed Comcast Cable had also joined in on the rebellion.

Discovering that everything I had touched would not function, I decided against going to the bathroom and went to bed. This morning, everything worked fine. A sign? Perhaps, but judging from the series of events that happened last evening, I'm quite sure that aborting my mission to AREA 51 was a good idea. I'll regroup and make another plan for Friday.

The Pictures: Today's pictures are from an artist called Mr. Crayola, Don Marco. All of these drawings are done with Crayola crayons. I hope you enjoy them.

In the interim, brother Kirt sent me the following picture depicting the pride that one feels when you see someone who knows how to salute when the national anthem is played or when the American flag passes by.

It brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?

This Date In History: 1453; The Hundred Years' War between England and France ends with the English defeat at the Battle of the Castillion in France. 1941; After hitting in a record 56 consecutive games, Joe DiMaggio is held hitless by the Cleveland Indians. 1945; Harry Truman, Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin meet at the beginning of the Potsdam Conference, which will determine the details of the Allied occupation of Germany.

1955; Disneyland, created by Walt Disney, opens in Anaheim, California. 1975; American and Soviet spacecraft link in space for the first time when the American Apollo spacecraft docks onto the Soviet Soyuz 19. 1979; As Sandanista rebels prepare to take over Nicaragua, dictator Anastasio Somoza flees the country, ending his family's 43-year reign in the country.

Birthdays: John Jacob Astor, merchant (1763), Lionel Feininger, painter (1871), Erle Stanley Gardner, mystery writer (1899), James Cagney, actor and Academy Award winner (1899).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice say, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step you will die." The man stopped and a large brick fell right in front of him.

Astonished, he went on and after awhile he started to cross a road. Once again, the the voice shouted, "Stop or you'll die. There's a car coming." The man did as he was instructed just as a car came careening from around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked, "Who are you?" The voice answered, "I'm your guardian angel." The man said, "Yeah? And where were you when I got married?"

One fall day, Bill was out raking the leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog. Behind the dog was about 200 men walking in a single line.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. The man said, "My wife." Bill said , "I'm sorry. What happened to her?" The man said, "My dog bit her and she died."

Bill then asked, "Who is in the second hearse?" The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."

Bill thought about it for a while. He finally asked, "May I borrow your dog?" To which the man answered, "Get in line."

That's it for today my little tiger lilies. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, Jimmys-MySpace, Jimmys AREA 51

Polls, Polls And The Old Days

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:21:50 GMT

Hump Day and time for another jaunt to AREA 51 and see my pals. As usual, I have no idea when or where my destination is, but that's part of the fun. I have several "missions" that I have to address this week and being Wednesday, the timing is becoming a little intense. I was a relatively good boy last week, but recent early returns and changes of status are complicating my schedule. I'm not complaining, it's a good situation to be in. It's sort of like having three ice cream cones and only two hands. A bit complicated, but resolvable.

Susan Atkins, who stabbed pregnant actress Sharon Tate to death nearly forty years ago, but is dying of brain cancer in a California prison was denied compassionate release Tuesday by the California Board of parole.

The word compassion was not part of her vocabulary when she murdered Ms. Tate and I'll be quite content to see that she dies a slow uncompassionate death.

A New York Times/CBS Poll found that 83 percent of black respondents had a favorable view of Barack Obama while only 31 percent of whites did. An AOL poll today asked the question 'Do you think America is ready for a black president'. Of 111,034 respondents, 58 percent said No and 42 percent said Yes. In an AOL Presidential Straw Vote, the vote was McCain 69 percent (92,667) and Obama 31 percent (41,476) out of 134,142 votes.

Jimmy's Journal respondents unanimously favored Junior Samples for president. The number to call is BR-549.

The Pictures: Do you remember these people, places and things? My pal Vivian sent me these pics from the old days. How many do you remember? In the interim here is the reason why women use catalogs.

This Date In History: 1917; A short-lived uprising led by the Bolsheviks against the Russian government begins. Its failure leads to the arrest of Leon Trotsky and the temporary exile of Vladimir Lenin. 1918; The Bolsheviks, who took power in Russia the previous fall, execute former tsar Nicholas II along with his family.

1945; The U.S. government conducts the first atomic explosion, code named "Trinity," near Alamogordo, New Mexico, less than a month before dropping similar devices on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan. 1951; J. D. Salinger's novelCatcher In The Rye, panned the previous day in the New York Times, is published.

Birthdays: Andrea del Sarto, painter (1486), Mary Baker Eddy, founder of Christian Science (1821), Shoeless Joe Jackson, baseball player (1889), Barbara Stanwyck, actress (1907), Tony Kushner, American playwright (1956).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up the legs, rump and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because I'm buying horses and I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

And from Jimmy's Corner comes the wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy....

A day without sunshine is like...night. In the other hand, you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all numbers are made up right in the spot. He who laughs last, thinks the slowest. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. Support bacteria, they are the only culture some people have. Change is inevitable, except in presidential races and vending machines. 99 percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name. A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory. If you think nobody cares, try missing a few payments.

That's it for today my little rum runners. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, Jimmys-MySpace

Opinions Are Like Elbows - Everyone Has Their Own

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:11:25 GMT

I get a kick out of all the daily ranting and raving by the supposed pundits, journalists and other media types, especially when the subject is about politics and/or celebrities. The media, whether they be television, radio, newspaper or magazines, always have some "breaking news" that they want you to hear, usually motivated by potential monies and/or ratings to be earned.

In the case of politics, it is no secret that while the candidates attempt to make their usual holier than thou remarks, their camps are heavily engaged in any and every way to discredit and bury their opponents. It is, in fact, a contest..., a form of war if you will, and the stakes are high. There always has been, and always will be, mudslinging and derisive comments in politics. It is just the nature of the beast.

Each side has their followers and proponents, from the highest level down to the citizen on the street, and they all have their opinions. Whether their opinion is correct or not, the fact remains that each citizen will cast their vote based on their opinion.

One would think that each candidate would simply step forward, state his or her platform and tell the American public what he or she intends to do. Unfortunately, this is not the case and with the help of the media (especially CNN), the presidential race has been turned into a bizarre form of American Idol, and is being based and judged by the masses as such. The end of this political soap opera is rapidly approaching and by next year, one of these two media darlings will be running the United States and American Idol will return to regain its place in the limelight, dazzling and delighting America's children.

All things considered, I present to you an alternative candidate for your consideration as president. I can't guarantee that he'll be a better president, but he just as honest and he can't be any worse.

Vote for the late Junior Samples for president of the United States. The number is BR-549.

In the case of celebrities, the incessant demand for news, pictures and scandals boggle my mind. Who is with whom, who's doing whom, baby pictures, drunken pictures, picture pictures, ad nauseum. The demand for such things have bred an animal commonly known as the paparazzi.

These scumbags will do anything for pictures and information regardless of any physical, mental or financial distress to the subject they are pursuing. Their actions are fueled by the enormous amounts of monies being paid by the various magazines, ofttimes referred to as "Rags."

Gossip has always been a form of social entertainment and will always continue to be. I've often thought I'd rather be the subject of gossip than be the one doing the gossiping. My instincts tell me the one being gossiped about is having a lot more fun. But, that's just me.

The Pictures: The animal kingdom brings us today's pictures. They're quite animated and I think you'll enjoy them

This Date In History: 1149; The Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem is dedicated at the site where Jesus is said to be entombed after his crucifixion. 1916; William Boeing and Conrad Westervelt found the Pacific Aero Products in Seattle. The following year they rename the company the Boeing Airplane Company.

1918; Near the Marne River in northeastern France, the second Battle of the Marne in World War I begins. The Allied victory in the three-week battle halts the German drive toward Paris. 1971; President Richard M. Nixon announces his plan to visit China as a step toward reopening relations with the country.

Birthdays: Rembrant Harmenszoom van Rijn, Dutch baroque artist considered to be one of the greatest painters in the history of western art (1606). Saint Francis Xavier Cabrini, first U.S. saint (1850), Iris Murdoch, novelist and philosopher (1919), Linda Ronstadt, singer (1946).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Garnett, author of My Brain Is In Pain for this AREA 51 story.

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He darn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his manhood over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'

That's it for today my little taxi dermists. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, Possums Journal, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys-MySpace, TAC Award, CAT Award, Jimmys Pictures