PCW- Political Championship Wrestling

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PCW OVERVIEW (for the uninitiated)
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HOST: Johnny Suave

Quick recap of the end of Lock and Load 3 where ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and his new corporation (Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richardson aka Quadruple R…because Quadruple is better than Triple…, Kathryn Randall Collins, Bradley Scott Wilson Esq., and Richard Emerson Brantley III) disrupt the PCW Four-Way Title match between champion Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots), O’Beck Bahama (Progressive Alliance), Nic Koteen of Politically Incorrect (Libertarian), and ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee of the Green World Order (Green). McMann’s corporation get their collective asses kicked by the four participants in the title match and make a hasty retreat.

Mr. McMann sits in his office. Quadruple R paces manically back and forth. He’s pissed off and ready to go back out and fight some more. McMann tries to calm him down. Quadruple R reminds him that he was promised the PCW title. McMann again tries to settle him down. Quad R then stomps out. McMann: “If I’m going to succeed in my ambitious plans to take over and remake PCW in my image, we’re going to need more firepower.” McMann dials the phone.

Suave comes on and announces that Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews from MSNBC are going to be joining him this week. But he can’t seem to find them.

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE CONVENTION RECAP
Suave recaps the official unveiling of the Obama-Biden ticket. Joe Biden comes out to a modest introduction. Then Obama is brought out. He’s riding in a carrier held up by two men. Suave recognizes the two. Suave: “Hey! Isn’t that? Yes! HOLY CRAP! Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann are carrying Barack Obama into the hall!” Matthews and Olbermann take Obama to the podium while rose petals are tossed down in their path. A large horn fanfare heralds Obama’s speech and Matthews and Olbermann both watch, doe-eyed. Matthews: “When I listen to Obama speak, I can feeling something tingling down my leg.” Suave: “That’s just wrong…”

Afterwards, Olbermann and Matthews gush effusively about the speech.

MATCH #1- PCW TV TITLE MATCH- FUBAR © w/Dr. Bill vs. SNAFU
As promised, FUBAR gives his good friend SNAFU the first shot at his PCW TV Title. Quick paced match which sees FUBAR retaining the title via pin.

FUBAR and SNAFU shake hands afterwards. *“YEEEE-AAHHHH!”* Someone attacks FUBAR from behind. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S THE AMERICAN SCREAMER HOWARD DEAN! AND THAT’S ‘NO FRILLS’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO!” Escondido, the former PCW TV champion, joined the Progressive Alliance at Lock and Load and he wants the title back. Dean gets on the mic and runs down FUBAR, calling him nothing more than a pathetic jobber. Dean: “It’s only a matter of time before ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido defeats FUBAR and restores credibility to the PCW TV title and the Progressive Alliance will reign supreme over PCW.”

AMERICAN PATRIOTS CONVENTION RECAP
‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain announces the selection of Sarah Palin as his aide de camp, surprising…well…everyone. Olbermann and Matthews join Suave. Matthews is puzzled by the choice. Olbermann breaks off a nasty shot at Palin’s 17 year old daughter who happens to be pregnant. McCain gives his speech and Olbermann continues a string of snarky, smug, and condescending commentary as he goes along.

After the speech, Olbermann says McCain sucks and apologizes for the fact that McCain’s speech sucked. He adds that the video tribute to McCain sucks and apologizes for exploiting the images of a candidate who was a dead man walking. He adds the American Patriots sucks; people suck who aren’t obviously not at the same intellectual level as he is because they’re stupid enough to support the American Patriots, and most of all Bill O’Reilly sucks. Suave: “Well, so much for being unbiased. I guess compared to MSNBC, Fox News is actually fair and balanced.

Olbermann stomps over to Suave and confronts him. Suave doesn't back down and compares what they're doing to Obama to what Monica Lewinsky did for... Olbermann explodes and calls him…THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD! Olbermann: “How dare you compare me unfavorably to Fox News…OOFFFF!” Suave: “IT’S BILL O’REILLY!” O’Reilly throws Olbermann into the ring and flails away at him. A referee runs down and the bell rings. Suave: “WE’VE GOT AN IMPROMPU MATCH!”

MATCH #2 MSNBC’S KEITH OLBERMANN (Progressive Alliance) with Hardball Chris Matthews vs. BILL O’REILLY (American Patriots) of Fox News
Suave: “Here we go again! Another battle between two of the most extreme political personalities you’ll find here in PCW.” Olbermann charges O’Reilly, but he bails to the floor. The No-Spin Factor climbs back in and smirks at Olbermann. Olbermann pops him with a short left and O’Reilly heads back out again. Olbermann yells at the referee to get him back in the ring…or as he put it, “get him back in the ring, DAMMIT!” Olbermann becomes frustrated with O’Reilly’s stalling on the apron. The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd counts along with the referee to eight before O’Reilly slides back into the ring. Olbermann takes a wild swing at O’Reilly and misses. O’Reilly climbs out on the apron again and composes himself as Olbermann continues to swing at him. O’Reilly back in but gets caught by a spinning back kick right to the jaw. Olbermann tries to drive him down to the mat, but O’Reilly stands up with Olbermann hanging on his back and flips him off to the canvas. O’Reilly heads to the floor again and while Olbermann pouts like the prima donna, arrogant personality that he is. O’Reilly comes back in and flips Olbermann off, prompting more yelling from the MSNBC Countdown host. Olbermann charges again and another bail-out from O’Reilly.

MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow confronts O’Reilly on the floor. O’Reilly distracted, Hardball Matthews grabs steel-folding chair and waffles him with it. Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Maddow and Matthews stomp away at the No-Spin Factor. Olbermann grabs the mic and taunts O’Reilly. The crowd boos. Olbermann tells them to shut their mouth and screams at O’Reilly. He calls the audience blind sheep and promises to put O’Reilly and the Fox News into a box. Matthews holds O’Reilly down as Olbermann climbs to the top of the corner turnbuckle. The crowd suddenly stands. A portly man jogs into the ring. Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S CNN’S LOU DOBBS! AND HE’S GOT A STEEL-FOLDING CHAIR!”

Dobbs to the corner. *WHAP* Suave: “YES! Olbermann’s down!” Olbermann falls backwards off the top rope and lands back first on the canvas. Dobbs takes the mic and tells Olbermann ‘that one’s for my children whom you attacked because of my political views.’ Dobbs tells him he’s ‘hanging by a highly medicated thread’ much to the crowd’s delight. Dobbs: “You know, I might be the worst person in the world. But you, my friend, are the BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG A-HOLE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!”

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Crowd: “PCW…PCW!” Dobbs throws down the chair and leaves.

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“J.D. Elder’s novel is a brilliant work of over-the-top satire that spares no one in modern American politics. By using professional wrestling, he is able to ingeniously mock the insanity in our corrupt two party system.” -author Stephen Hines

“A fast-paced storyline laced with some of the best political satire I’ve read in quite some time, where no side (left or right, or even the luke-warm middle) is safe. In it, this book combines Pro Wresting, Humor and Politics for a down-right entertaining read…and maybe, just maybe, a few common sense solutions. ” - author Terry W. Ervin II

There are books that you curl up on a warm couch to read. This isn’t one of them.

Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction is a political satire for everyone fed up with the political status quo, an independent call to arms, a rowdy, hard-hitting, no holds barred novel that finally puts politics in proper perspective- by equating it to professional wrestling.

A dark cloud has covered the American political landscape. The powerful forces of professional partisans, political operatives, and special interest groups have combined to polarize the electorate into two bitterly divided extreme camps while many people tune out of the political process altogether.

Co-owner with Bubba Jackson of the world's only political pro wrestling federation, Buckland County Extreme Wrestling, DeWayne Cantrell, a reformed politician, skewers the political world weekly on their BCEW wrestling show. BCEW is: Political. Hardcore. Extreme. Wrestling or PHEW!- accurately describing the current state of American politics.

But when powerful United States Senator David Hutchinson gets wind of the show, DeWayne finds himself being subpoenaed to appear before a Senate sub-committee on the 'Media and TheirContribution to the Coarseness of the American Culture.' After a heated exchange with Senator Hutchinson at the contentious hearing, Cantrell suddenly throws his hat in the political ring and challenges Hutchinson for his Senate seat.

Can DeWayne stand up for the little guy against the establishment of both political parties and stick it to the Washington D.C. elites?

To what lengths will the professional politicians and their special interest groups go to stop him?

And will American politics ever be the same?

Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction is available at various online bookstores. Check out this funny and occasionally biting political satire online at Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, and Books A-Million. Or you can order it direct from: Prairie Depot Press/P.O. Box 25/Wauseon, Ohio 43567
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Official Press Release from Prairie Depot Press

A quick video package follows for the upcoming battle between Norm Coleman of the American Patriots and Al Franken from the Progressive Alliance. Suave announces that Coleman and Franken will face off in November at PCW Extreme Election 2008.

MATCH #3 PCW TITLE MATCH- ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots) vs. ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
‘The New Rookie Sensation’ continues to show his quick improvement in the ring and actually outwrestles the PCW champion early on. Bahama chops Starz. Bad move. Drop toe hold followed by an elbow drop puts Bahama back on the defensive. Starz hits a rolling elbow and nearly knocks Bahama out cold. Facelock by Starz. Nice counter by Bahama avoids an armdrag, and he plants Starz down on his face. Bahama rolls backward gets a two count. Bahama with an elbow. He charges to the corner and eats a kick from the PCW champion. Starz throws him out to the floor. McCain comes up from behind and wraps a television cable around Bahama’s neck. Suave: “Way…whoa…what is John McCain doing?” Starz slaps Bahama around. He jumps on the barricade and lands a flying forearm.

Back in the ring, Bahama fights his way forward and suplexes Starz. Bahama dropkick sends the champion into the corner. Starz blocks the Tiger Driver and reverses into a powerbomb. Cover for two. Reverse again and Bahama gets two off the Cradle Backbreaker, but McCain saves Starz by putting his foot on the ropes. Obama yells over at McCain. McCain yells back and then reaches in and trips Bahama, which allows Starz to hit another flying elbow. Suave notes the increasingly aggressive tactics John McCain is employing.

Libertarian Bob Barr walks out with Politically Incorrect’s Nic Koteen, Pith Lord Darth (Ralph) Nader, and ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee and demands to know why neither Koteen or Lee were included in tonight’s match. Suave notes that both men were screwed out of their PCW title shot at Lock and Load 3. Nader pithily observes ‘this proves there’s no difference between the American Patriots and the Progressive Alliance!” Bahama turns away from Starz to see what the commotion is. Starz charges and crunches Bahama into the ropes and then flips him over his head. One…two…three. Suave: “Again, the PCW champion is able to outsmart the younger, inexperienced O’Beck Bahama and…HOLY CRAP!” Cut to Barack Obama lying on the floor and John McCain walking away with a Singapore cane in hand.

Immediately, Arianna Huffington and the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Paul Krugman, Daily Kos, Media Matters For America, and Eric Alterman) charge the ring and McCain disappears in a swarm of unhappy liberal activists. Then Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and…Sarah Palin run out. Palin has a hockey stick and starts wailing away and it completely breaks down as all the members of the Progressive Alliance and American Patriots stream out to join the fray.

Suave: “I…I don’t believe it. This was going to be different. This contest was going to aspire to be more than doing anything to win. This wasn’t going to be the same old, same old…”

 

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PCW (BCEW) TITLE LINEAGE

PCW (BCEW) TITLE:

March 2005 – May 2005- Rafeal Barry Giambee (American Patriots)
Giambee’s title was filled with controversy as he had the unique distinction of being the only PCW (BCEW) champion to never actually wrestle a match on a BCEW Pay Per View or House show. Part of the issue had to do with the fact that Giambee was suspected of using steroids which might have explained the fact that he went from being a skinny, 175 pound lightweight into a 6 foot 3, 350 pounds of huge rippling muscles, huge washboard abs, and a head two hat size larger than before.

Giambee’s title reign came to an end at BCEW’s Revenge of the Pith pay per view show in May, 2005 when he was found hanging in the walk-in cooler at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon- presumably dead from steroid abuse.

The BCEW title remained vacant until January 2006, BCEW Backbreak Mountain.

January 2006- November 7th, 2006- “No Frills” Chris Escondido (Independent)
With the help of John McCain, Escondido defeated 29 other wrestlers at BCEW Backbreak Mountain to become the new BCEW champion. The match was down to Independent Escondido and A. Tom Bomb from the American Patriots. Dick Cheney tried to sneak a foreign object to A-Bomb but McCain caught him red-handed. While McCain and Dick argued, Escondido pushed the distracted A-Bomb over the top rope and climbed up Backbreak Mountain (in actuality, a ladder decorated up like a mountain) and claimed the title.

November 7th, 2006- January 20th, 2008- “Not just intolerable. Not just unbearable. He is…” Justin Sufferable (Progressive Alliance)
Justin Sufferable chased the BCEW title for several months before November’s BCEW Extreme Election Night 2006. After several close calls, much of them instigated by a rival within with the Progressive Alliance, Triple R (aka Road Rage Randy), Sufferable defeated Chris Escondido when Triple R’s interference backfired and Escondido was accidently knocked out by a chairshot by Triple R.

Bad luck soon revisited Sufferable. On the Janurary 17th, 2007 edition of BCEW Extreme Political TV, both Sufferable and Escondido were viciously attacked by EECW champion Bobby Lashaway at the direction of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann. Mr. McMann had declared war on the extreme nature of BCEW and wanted to take it over to infuse his ‘sports entertainment genius’ into the promotion. Both Sufferable and Escondido suffered major knee injuries and were slated to be out for a year.

On March 25th, 2007 at the BCEW vs. EECW War pay per view, Triple R (Progressive Alliance) defeated 14 other wrestlers to become the provisional champion- with the proviso that when Sufferable returned from his injury there would be a unification match. However, after Triple R shown himself to be working with Mr. McMann and declared on the April 7th, 2007 Extreme Political TV that he was taking the BCEW belt to EECW and throw it in thetrash can, BCEW Owner Bubba Jackson made a rare appearance and fired Triple R.

Triple R shortly afterwards re-applied to BCEW and worked his way back up. At BCEW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 on June 3rd, 2007, Triple R defeated Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots) and Little Paulie of the American Bikers (Independent) to win the provisional championship a second time. Triple R demanded the belt but a returning Justin Sufferable challenged him to a match in September at BCEW Loose Cannons Lock and Load.

September 30th, 2007- Loose Cannons Lock and Load. Sufferable faced off against Triple R but was jumped and laid out by the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Paul Krugman, Media Matters For America, Daily Kos, and Eric Alterman). The title situation remained unresolved until October 28th, 2007 at BCEW Night of Champions. On the night Triple R was to have his coronation as the BCEW champion, Sufferable attacked him and an impromptu title match followed. Sufferable defeats Triple R to become the undisputed BCEW champion.

On January 20th, 2008, Sufferable suffered a second major knee injury against Starz N. Stripes. After doctors determined that Sufferable needed major reconstructive knee surgery, he vacated the title a week later.

The title would remain vacant until March 4th, 2008.

March 4th, 2008- present – “The Original Rookie Sensation” Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots)
The early part of the year saw Starz N. Stripes, with John McCain’s leadership, emerge as the lead wrestler for the American Patriots. The Progressive Alliance had a major battle going on for the leadership position between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Clinton managed Triple R and pushed him to become the #1 wrestler of the Progressive Alliance. Barack Obama brought in a new, inexperienced wrestler named O’Beck Bahama and guided him quickly up the ladder. Bahama defeated Triple R two weeks before in a wild match that saw Hillary Clinton turn on DLC to support Triple R, and Arianna Huffington and her Angry Left Wing Bloggers turn on Triple R and switch their allegiance to O’Beck Bahama and Barack Obama.

Starz defeated Bahama and Independent Halitosis- the Insanely Smelling Luchador to become the new BCEW champion.

On May 6th, 2008, BCEW become PCW-Political Championship Wrestling


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PCW (BCEW) WOMEN’S TITLE:

In the first year of BCEW, there was a women’s championship title. But “Sports Entertainment Genius” Mr. McMann came along and disbanded the BCEW Women’s title because he felt people didn’t want to see women wrestle.

BCEW brought back the women’s title on March 25th, 2007 at BCEW vs. EECW War.

March 25th, 2007 to September 30th, 2007- ‘Defense Expert’ Hallie Burton (American Patriots)
At the March BCEW vs. EECW War pay per view, Burton won a five way free for all match over ‘BCEW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin, ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree, ‘Trailer Park Honey’ Tanya Hardy with the White Trash Posse, and Peta from PETA to become the new BCEW Women’s champion.

September 30th, 2007- January 8th, 2008- ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance)
With Barack Obama in her corner and Opal’s Flock (New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom) providing cover, Winfree defeated Hallie Burton at BCEW Lock and Load 2.

January 8th, 2008- January 20th, 2008- Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (Progressive Alliance)
In early January of 2008, the Barack Obama-Hillary Clinton pitched battle for control of the Progressive Alliance raged white hot. Clinton’s Political Pitbulls (James Carville, Terry McAuliffe, and Sidney Blumenthal) provided the difference at BCEW Mayhem in Manchester (NH) to give KRC the edge in a 3 way dance that was originally scheduled to be a non-title match. But Hillary Clinton goaded Winfree into making the match for the women’s title and KRC landed a shot with a steel chain to take the title.

January 20th, 2008- present- ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree (Progressive Alliance)
Barack Obama learned a lot from Winfree’s loss in New Hampshire. So when KRC and Winfree had a rematch for the women’s title at the BCEW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction pay per view two weeks later, Obama distracted the referee enough for Winfree to roll up KRC to win the title back.

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PCW (BCEW) TAG TEAM TITLE:

March 2005 to June 7th, 2007- The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent)
For much of BCEW/PCW’s lifetime, the Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent) dominated the tag team title scene. The brothers were known for their unorthodox pre-match rituals which usually consisted of guzzling down a bottle of Jack Daniels and then breaking the bottles over their head. It wasn’t conventional by any stretch of the imagination, but it worked for them. Their finishing maneuver consisted of one of the Martinis getting punched in the stomach. This usually resulted in retching and extreme nausea followed spewing and projectile vomiting on their opponents.

June 7th, 2007- September 30th, 2007- Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete of the Green World Order (Progressive Alliance)
For the first year and a half of BCEW, the Green World Order weren’t taken very seriously. They rarely won matches. The mere appearance of one of the GWO members set off an ugly reaction from the crowd.

Then came the December 24th, 2006 BCEW Christmas Extravaganza. The GWO had come out to protest Christmas decorations at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon and got laid out by Nic Koteen of Politically Incorrect dressed up like Santa Claus. Then to add insult to injury, the Dixie Chucks defeated the GWO in 10 seconds to become the #1 Progressive Alliance contender for the tag team belts. GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee snapped and spent the rest of the night rampaging through BCEW.

The GWO finally reached the pinnacle on June 7th, 2007 at BCEW Loose Cannons 3 by defeating the long time champions, the Flyin’ Martini Brothers for the belts.

September 30th, 2007- April 1st, 2008- The Flyin’ Martini Brothers (Independent)
It’s didn’t take long for the Martinis to win the tag team titles back. At BCEW Loose Cannons Lock and Load 2, the Martinis looked like they would fall once again to the GWO when A-Bomb and H-Bomb ran out took out GreenPete and PeaceNick. Dan Martini projectile vomited all over Brock Cole Lee and then passed out on top of him to get the pin and the tag team belts back.

April 1st, 2008- May 3rd, 2008- A. Bomb and H-Bomb aka The Bomb Brothers (American Patriots)
The Bomb Brothers were also BCEW Originals. They originally started off in the American Patriots until they quit and became Independents. In early 2008, John McCain brought the Bomb Brothers back into the American Patriots and the move immediately paid dividends. At BCEW Night of Champions, A-Bomb and H-Bomb executed a strategy of doing exactly nothing to let the Martinis stumble around and take themselves out. A-Bomb gets the pin to end the era of the Flyin’ Martini Brothers in BCEW.

May 3rd, 2008- present- Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Progressive Alliance)
Just when the Bomb Brothers thought they’d have a nice tag team title reign of their own, Jack Schett and Bull Schett came along. The Schetts knocked off the Bombs at a BCEW House Show in Archbold, Ohio to become the new tag team champions.

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PCW (BCEW) TELEVISION TITLE:

In early 2008, BCEW created a television title that would be defended primarily on Extreme Political TV.

March 9th, 2008- April 28th, 2008- ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Independent)
A former BCEW champion, Escondido made it all the way back from a severe knee injury in 2006 to defeat Big Oil (American Patriots) and Triple R (Progressive Alliance) to become the inaugural BCEW Television champion. Triple R eliminated Big Oil via the figure four leg lock early on. Then, in retaliation for an attack on O’Beck Bahama after he lost a title match against BCEW champion Starz N. Stripes, Bahama, Barack Obama, Arianna Huffington and the Angry Left Wing Bloggers, and the Clinton Political Pitbulls attack Triple R and lay him out. Escondido gets the easy cover for the win and the television title.

April 28th, 2008- May 26th, 2008- Big Oil (American Patriots)
The Spring of 2008 brought about the rise of Big Oil. With gas prices skyrocketing to record levels and lining Big Oil’s pockets with massive amounts of cash, Big Oil limped to the ring on the April 28th, 2008 edition of Extreme Political TV after being kicked over a railing and falling through a table 10 feet below. After pushing Escondido off the top rope and powerbombing Halitosis into oblivion, Big Oil takes the television title.

May 26th, 2008- June 9th, 2008- Indianola Jones (Independent)
Big Oil found himself embroiled in a bitter feud with the American Trucker (formerly Mike the Mechanic) and Average Joe. Week after week, Big Oil came out and gloated about the record gas prices. American Trucker and Average Joe both confronted him on numerous occasions. On May 19th, 2008’s PCW Extreme Political TV, 65 year old former wrestling star Indianola Jones came by to pay a visit. In the middle of his remarks, Big Oil kicked him out of the ring for being old and irrelevant. Later in the show, American Trucker and Average Joe set the money inside Big Oil’s wheelbarrow on fire with help from Jones.

This set up the May 26th PCW Extreme Political TV where Jones challenged Big Oil for the television title and provided a George Foreman moment when he caught the big guy in the Katahajime and made him tap out.

June 9th, 2008- present- FUBAR (Independent)
FUBAR was a perennial jobber in his first three years in BCEW. His career went on an uptick when Coach Bobby Petrino became his manager and vowed to coach FUBAR up into the BCEW elite. However, after one week, Petrino bolted for a better paying job and left FUBAR to continue to flounder. After a series of losses to Chris Escondido, FUBAR publicly expressed his displeasure with the state of his wrestling career. Escondido, overhearing FUBAR’s griping, sarcastically suggested he get himself a life coach. FUBAR took him up on the advice and showed up the next week with his new life coach- Dr. Bill. FUBAR took the television champion Indianola Jones to the limit which set up a 3 way dance at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 4 between FUBAR, Indianola Jones, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido for the PCW Television title.

FUBAR got some help from Big Oil who gained a measure of revenge on Jones by taking him out before the match. Jones somehow made it to the ring and FUBAR quickly pinned him. Escondido gets pasted by FUBAR with Dr. Bill’s clipboard and FUBAR becomes the new champion.

Political Championship Wrestling would like to extend our condolences to the family of political reporter and host of NBC’s Meet the Press, Tim Russert.

Russert was a giant in the industry, a true professional, and one of the few in the political punditry game who truly called it right down the middle. Simply put, one of the best- ever. Russert will be surely missed.

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Russert wasn’t a political extremist and thus, made only two appearances back when PCW was Buckland County Extreme Wrestling aka…BCEW.

From February 7th, 2007’s BCEW At War- Part one. This came out during the whole Valerie Plame, Bob Novak, Scooter Libby scandal.

Match #2- SCOOTER LIBBY VS. TIM RUSSERT w/Joe Wilson, guest referee

Suave: “Our feature match this week will be very interesting. I’m not sure just how partial Joe Wilson is going to be. The last time I checked, he’s still pissed off at Libby spilling the beans about his wife being a secret agent and all to Bob Novak.” The match doesn’t even get underway before Libby’s attorney comes out to the ring. He states he won’t allow the match to take place because Joe Wilson is biased against his client. The attorney and Wilson get into each other’s face and jaw at each other. He pushes Wilson out of the way, whips off his shirt, and then goes after Tim Russert. Suave: “What the hell is going on? The bell just rang!” Libby climbs out of the ring as his attorney and Russert lock up to start the match and Russert uses his weight advantage to back Libby’s attorney into the corner. They slug it out and then Libby’s attorney gets the advantage when he knees him in the gut. Then he goes on the offensive. Clothesline. Libby’s attorney then connects with a delayed vertical suplex. Libby’s attorney tries a D.C. Insider Slam, but Russert slips out and drops the attorney over the top rope. Libby comforts the attorney and he climbs back into the ring. Libby’s attorney aggressively throws Russert shoulder first into the ring post. Russert slips to the outside and Libby follows and tries to throws Russert into the outside ring post. Russert again can’t be pinned down and Libby’s attorney falls onto the steel steps.Suave: “Wow! Scooter Libby’s attorney is throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Tim Russert. But Russert keeps shrugging it off.” Russert breaks the count and shoves Libby’s attorney into the ring apron. Then he lifts Libby’s attorney up and throws him back in the ring. Russert comes off the ropes and gets smacked in the face by Libby’s attorney who tries to go back on the offensive. He tries a reverse gut wrench and some shots to Russert’s back. Again, Russert slips away and whips the attorney into the corner. Libby’s attorney rushes out and gets booted. Irish whip by Libby’s attorney, Russert sidesteps him again and he runs into the turnbuckle. Russert locks in a single leg crab and then turns it into a modified STF. Using his weight advantage again, Russert rolls over and pancakes Libby. Suddenly Scooter Libby jumps in the ring and nails Russert from behind. Suave: “IT’S TWO ON ONE NOW AND RUSSERT’S OUTNUMBERED!”Joe Wilson finally asserts himself into the match and tries to push Libby out of the ring. Libby pushes Wilson off the ropes and the former Ambassador runs into a belly-to-belly suplex by Libby’s attorney. Wilson is down. Winded, Russert takes his time and charges with a clothesline. He gets drilled with some punches and then Libby and his attorney hit a doubleteam huge back body drop. Libby slaps on the camel clutch and Russert tries to fight out. The problem is Russert is stuck in the middle of the ring. Suave: “This could be it!...Hold on!...IT’S VALERIE PLAME!” The crowd cheers as Plame slides in the ring behind Libby’s attorney and kicks him in the balls. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Libby’s attorney flops to the canvas. Libby breaks the hold on Russert and goes after Plame. He backs her into a corner and grabs her by the hair. Russert pulls himself up, sees Libby, and runs in and rolls him up from behind. Joe Wilson counts Libby out.WINNER: TIM RUSSERTLibby and Libby’s attorney are furious after losing the match. Suave: “Scooter Libby and his attorney’s plan was to rattle the veteran Tim Russert. But like the claim that Niger was processing uranium, their hopes were unfounded.”


And this one from the October 4th, 2006 edition of BCEW Extreme Political TV…Russert was the guest referee in a hot battle between Ohio’s Sherrod Brown (Progressive Alliance) and Mike DeWine (American Patriots):

Sherrod Brown Promo

Brown states he’s here in BCEW tonight to put to rest the notion that Mike DeWine is an independent thinker. “Mike DeWine is such an independent thinker,” Brown says, “that he’s independently kissed BCEW CEO George W’s ass 92% of the time! Brown adds that the fans should support him tonight because they can trust him, not Mike DeWine. “I’m more like you,” Brown argues, “I’m going to outsource Mike DeWine to another country just like all the jobs in the small business sector that have been lost!”

Mike DeWine Promo

DeWine comes out and essentially says that Sherrod Brown is too extreme even for Buckland County Extreme Wrestling. DeWine claims Brown has a problem with reality. “You want me,” DeWine says, “you got me. The reality is that the only ass that’s going to get kissed tonight is mine after I give you a good old fashioned extreme trip to the woodshed.”

Sherrod Brown comes to the ring led by the leader of the Progressive Alliance ‘The American Screamer’ Howard Dean. Mike DeWine is accompanied by Dr. Bill Frist-Medicine Guy of the American Patriots. “This is going to be interesting,” opines Suave, “there’s a lot riding on this as we head toward the November pay per view ‘BCEW Extreme Election Night 2006!” Suave notes that Independent Joe Lieberman and the Progressive Alliance’s Ned Lamont have already signed on for the pay per view.

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Both men ignore referee Tim Russert’s attempt to have them shake hands and it begins. Brown drags DeWine out of the ring and slams him into the guardrail. DeWine counters, blocks a suplex, and drapes Brown across the guardrail. DeWine attempts a spin kick from the ring apron. Brown moves out of the way and DeWine crashes right-knee-first into the rail. The American Screamer Howard Dean interjects himself into the match and helps Brown pick up the ring steps and try to slam them into DeWine's head. DeWine just ducks out of the way and the steps bounce back and blasts Howard Dean in the face. “HOLY CRAP!” Suave shouts as Dean is busted open. “DEAN CAUGHT THAT FULL FORCE!” A ‘BCEW’ chant started. DeWine flings Brown into the steel barricade again and then leaps and clotheslines him. DeWine reaches under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets it up on the outside and lifts The American Screamer in the air. Russert tries to stop him but DeWine suplexes Dean through the table. “WOW! I think Howard Dean could be dead,” Suave says as The American Screamer lies in a heaping pile of wood that used to be a table.Brown and DeWine brawl near the apron. Brown blocks a suplex attempt then does a sunset flip over DeWine. Russert counts another near pinfall for the Progressive Alliance. Then a woman walks to ringside. “WHO’S THAT?” Suave says, “Wait a minute! THAT’S HILLARY CLINTON! WHAT IS SHE DOING OUT HERE!” Clinton sprays something in DeWine’s eyes. “SHE JUST MACED MIKE DeWINE!,” Suave shouts out. Brown rolls DeWine back into the ring as the crowd chants, "Hillary sucks." Brown goes for the cover…Russert starts counting. “One, two…NO! IT’S THE STRAIGHT SHOOTER JOHN McCAIN!” Suave shrieks, “McCAIN BREAKS UP THE COUNT!” McCain then hits Brown with a mule kick for good measure and quickly exits.Brown throws DeWine to the outside and works on DeWine's right knee. Dr. Bill Frist-Medicine Guy frantically waves to the back for help. Suddenly from the front section races down the Rookie Sensation Starz N. Stripes. Starz plows into Hillary from behind and sends her into the steel barricade. “THE ROOKIE SENSATION CLEANS HOUSE ON THE OUTSIDE!” Suave says as Brown and DeWine continue to brawl in the ring. The crowd is rocking at this point as someone else runs down to the ring. “NOW WHAT? IT’S JUSTIN SUFFERABLE!” Suave says as the Sufferable whacks Starz in the back with a Singapore cane. “TIM RUSSERT’S LOST TOTAL CONTROL OF THIS MATCH!” Suave shouts as Starz N. Stripes and DeWine battles Justin Sufferable and Brown outside the ring. The crowd rises up when the BCEW champion Chris Escondido appears in the back. Escondido races to the ring and flattens Justin Sufferable. “IT’S JUST A MESS NOW!” Suave exclaims as all hell breaks loose and the locker room for both factions run to the ring.

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