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Judith Heartsong's Artsy Essay Contest
Judith Heartsong's December's Artsy Essay
(AOL is playing games with me this morning and not allowing to post a link. So here it is spelled out. http://judithheartsong.blogspot.com/2007/12/decembers-artsy-essay.html )
Let's make this really easy!
To read the rules:
Go here
December's Artsy Essay Topic:
The Funniest Gift
I Have Ever
Given or Received
There is no explanation needed... let's light up the holidays with some laughter here and make sure you spell-check, use colorful and descriptive language, and tell your tale in an engaging way!
You have until the very last minute of the last hour of the last day of this holiday month to spin a yarn to share.
An Unexpected Gift
So there were two couples. The men were not only siblings,but friends as well. The first couple had two children, one was a toddler, and the other was school age. The husband had just started a new job and didn’t have insurance. Mom was a stay at home Mom.
Now the second couple just had their first child, and she was attempting to stay home as well. Needless to say, finances were tight for both families.
One evening, just before Christmas, they were sitting on unmatched chairs, about a rickety kitchen table, in a rickety old house. “I am so broke this year,” the first husband said, “That I can’t afford to buy that extra present my son wanted.”
“I am so broke,” the second husband said, “That I can’t afford the paper, tape and ribbon it takes to wrap that present.”
“And I am so broke, I can’t afford the gas to go buy the paper, tape and ribbon,” the first husband countered.
“And I am so broke, I can’t afford to have children.”
“And I am so broke, I can’t afford to have sex. Have you seen the price of condoms lately?”
After a good laugh, both couples agreed to cut back on Christmas cheer that year, because it was just a bit more than either could afford.
Couple number two went home to bed. Now sometime during the night a thought occurred to one, although which one, we’re not sure. She said she thought of it, and he said he thought of it. After sharing it though, and giggling about it, a course of action was laid out.
The next morning wife number two wrote out her Christmas cards. One card in particular, she decided to hand deliver.
That night was bowling night, and the women’s league played at nine. Wife number two waited until the fifth frame of the first game. Balls were rolling and crashing into pins, and bowlers were roaming around. Beer bottles clinked and munchers munched. And wife number two handed over the envelope, saying “I’m so broke I can’t afford the stamps to mail it.”
When wife number one opened it, not one, but two condoms fell out. All the bowlers stopped wandering and bowling and set aside their drinks in order to see why Wife number one suddenly turned so pink. The world stopped for a faction of a moment. Then the other bowlers laughed and wandered off. Wife number one was always up for a joke and took it in good stride. Although that pink turned to a deep red, she laughed and tucked the offending items in the pocket of her jeans before picking up her ball and approaching the pins again.
Laughter died away when two months later Husband number one called. “So which one of you poked the holes in the condoms? She’s pregnant!”
The twins turned 23 in September.
jmorancoyle at 11:07:00 AM CST Blog about this entry |
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Congrats. Wonderful entry and a good laugh!
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KUDOS!! i love it!! this was told in such a cool way! thanks for sharing, debra
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Congrats! Very funny story to go along with an unusually funny gift! Happy New Year! http://journals.aol.com/mutua
laide/LifeOnFlamingoRow/ -
Congratulations Jude. . . . Very funny indeed.. thanks for the laugh.. :-)
Kristal
http://apoeticdreamerssoul.blogspot.com/
1/5/08 4:30 PM
Congrats on winning!