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Dreams, Art School, Commercials and On Being Fat
7/2/08
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Okay, so I've had this weird experience, not once but twice. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Two mornings in a row I woke up to crying. It sounded just like Becki. Both times I jumped out of bed screaming, "What's wrong? What happened? Where's Becki?" Yesterday morning I thought I heard the boys and they just brushed me off. This morning I woke Bill up as I tried to fight my way out of the room. I was wide awake at that point, and terrified. I had just let the dog out into the yard, and I thought that maybe she was crying because the dog escaped again and maybe got hit by a car. The crazy thing is the dog had escaped the yard, but she was fine. Bill got her in before the Police even got to her. They were out looking for a black and white dog that was wandering about.
Back to the crying. I could hear it as clear as day. But Becki was sound asleep. I woke her up demanding to know how she was, and she answered me, assuring me that she was fine. Later she said she didn't remember a thing. I've asked everyone in the house if they remember me waking up the first time, and no, no one does. Bill is still laughing about this morning. It was a frightening experience.
I've been sick all week, so I'm wondering if these weren't fever dreams.
Speaking of Becki, she has an appointment Monday Downtown. She's going to check out this art school on Michigan Avenue. They told her to bring some of her work. What she has that I think is very good are two pieces of pottery. One she calls a mustache cup and the other is a vase. I particularly love the vase. Both though are very heavy. I suggested that we take photos rather than risk carrying them down on the train. So wish her luck please, and maybe say a prayer for her success.
Now has anyone seen those commercials by X.com? It's where people have to learn to do something again after quitting smoking. One has a man who falls out of bed. He puts his pants on backwards. Then he irons his shirt while wearing it. And even tries to cook breakfast by breaking eggs over an electric burner without a pan. There's another commercial where a woman struggles with her car door, and then climbs into the back seat of her car. Then she crawls over the seat into the front. When she backs out she strikes her garbage cans. I laugh each time I see these commercials. I remember way back when. I had to learn to type again. It was so hard typing without a cigarette burning in an ashtray next to my (should I say the word? Oh what the heck...) typewriter.
Okay, just let me say this. I love the commercials, but I will not preach. I remember people preaching at me. The only thing it did was to get me pissed off. I quit when I was ready to.
My biggest downfall has been Pepsi. Being sick I'm craving it, because it just seems to me that when my throat is sore and I'm congested, the bubbles clean the guck out of my throat. We quit drinking pop though. Bill drinks diet to begin with. The rest of us don't. When I decided that enough was enough, Becki and Ed cheered me on. I didn't do it because I think I will lose weight. I did it because after running out for a few days, I felt a sudden burst of energy I sorely needed.
Now let me get onto weight. I give up. Nothing works. Most of my life I've weighed between 140 and 180 lbs. When I worked in Downtown Chicago and I walked daily, usually 3 miles or more daily, I weighed less. When I got pregnant with Ed I lost 40 lbs. Then I got pregnant with Jon. I lost another 20. When I became pregnant with Becki I lost 30 lbs. In between I gained. I walked and walked and worked my ass off. It seemed the harder I worked the more I gained. The more I gained, the more I dieted. It used to make me sick when I worked at 7-Eleven and at Speedway. Every morning people on the way to the train would stop in for their 'breakfast' or 'lunch', or maybe just a snack on the train. I'm talking skinny people here. They would buy donuts, snack cakes, candy bars, jerky, chips, you name it, and pop or an energy drink to wash it down with. And I'm not talking one donut either. I'm talking $8 or $10 worth. And don't kid yourself about energy drinks. They're nothing but caffeine, sugar and food coloring, none of which are good for you. It used to piss me off to no end. I'd work on my feet, stocking and facing shelves and the cooler, running the cash register, mopping and sweeping the floor and anything else that needed to be done, and all without a break in an 8 hour day. (Illinois has passed legislation saying that because convenience store clerks spend time talking to their customers and getting to know them, they don't need breaks. At least that's what 2 of my employers used to say.) I rarely cheated on my diet. One pop a day and no treats. And guess who got fat? And I don't mean 180 lbs., either. How could I let that happen to myself? Got me. When I was suppose to gain, i.e. pregnancy, I couldn't stop throwing up. I lost big time. When I dieted and exercised, I gained. And you know what? It really pisses me off when one of these skinny brats with all those snacks pull their hands back because they're afraid that if I touch them they might get fat, too. That's when I'd use both my hands to pass them their change.
Okay, so I got that off my chest. I'm still fat. I still like chocolate, but I don't eat much of it. And I'm still not drinking Pepsi at the moment.
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Dreams, Art School, Commercials and On Being Fat
Okay, so I've had this weird experience, not once but twice. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Two mornings in a row I woke up to crying. It sounded just like Becki. Both times I jumped out of bed screaming, "What's wrong? What happened? Where's Becki?" Yesterday morning I thought I heard the boys and they just brushed me off. This morning I woke Bill up as I tried to fight my way out of the room. I was wide awake at that point, and terrified. I had just let the dog out into the yard, and I thought that maybe she was crying because the dog escaped again and maybe got hit by a car. The crazy thing is the dog had escaped the yard, but she was fine. Bill got her in before the Police even got to her. They were out looking for a black and white dog that was wandering about.
Back to the crying. I could hear it as clear as day. But Becki was sound asleep. I woke her up demanding to know how she was, and she answered me, assuring me that she was fine. Later she said she didn't remember a thing. I've asked everyone in the house if they remember me waking up the first time, and no, no one does. Bill is still laughing about this morning. It was a frightening experience.
I've been sick all week, so I'm wondering if these weren't fever dreams.
Speaking of Becki, she has an appointment Monday Downtown. She's going to check out this art school on Michigan Avenue. They told her to bring some of her work. What she has that I think is very good are two pieces of pottery. One she calls a mustache cup and the other is a vase. I particularly love the vase. Both though are very heavy. I suggested that we take photos rather than risk carrying them down on the train. So wish her luck please, and maybe say a prayer for her success.
Now has anyone seen those commercials by X.com? It's where people have to learn to do something again after quitting smoking. One has a man who falls out of bed. He puts his pants on backwards. Then he irons his shirt while wearing it. And even tries to cook breakfast by breaking eggs over an electric burner without a pan. There's another commercial where a woman struggles with her car door, and then climbs into the back seat of her car. Then she crawls over the seat into the front. When she backs out she strikes her garbage cans. I laugh each time I see these commercials. I remember way back when. I had to learn to type again. It was so hard typing without a cigarette burning in an ashtray next to my (should I say the word? Oh what the heck...) typewriter.
Okay, just let me say this. I love the commercials, but I will not preach. I remember people preaching at me. The only thing it did was to get me pissed off. I quit when I was ready to.
My biggest downfall has been Pepsi. Being sick I'm craving it, because it just seems to me that when my throat is sore and I'm congested, the bubbles clean the guck out of my throat. We quit drinking pop though. Bill drinks diet to begin with. The rest of us don't. When I decided that enough was enough, Becki and Ed cheered me on. I didn't do it because I think I will lose weight. I did it because after running out for a few days, I felt a sudden burst of energy I sorely needed.
Now let me get onto weight. I give up. Nothing works. Most of my life I've weighed between 140 and 180 lbs. When I worked in Downtown Chicago and I walked daily, usually 3 miles or more daily, I weighed less. When I got pregnant with Ed I lost 40 lbs. Then I got pregnant with Jon. I lost another 20. When I became pregnant with Becki I lost 30 lbs. In between I gained. I walked and walked and worked my ass off. It seemed the harder I worked the more I gained. The more I gained, the more I dieted. It used to make me sick when I worked at 7-Eleven and at Speedway. Every morning people on the way to the train would stop in for their 'breakfast' or 'lunch', or maybe just a snack on the train. I'm talking skinny people here. They would buy donuts, snack cakes, candy bars, jerky, chips, you name it, and pop or an energy drink to wash it down with. And I'm not talking one donut either. I'm talking $8 or $10 worth. And don't kid yourself about energy drinks. They're nothing but caffeine, sugar and food coloring, none of which are good for you. It used to piss me off to no end. I'd work on my feet, stocking and facing shelves and the cooler, running the cash register, mopping and sweeping the floor and anything else that needed to be done, and all without a break in an 8 hour day. (Illinois has passed legislation saying that because convenience store clerks spend time talking to their customers and getting to know them, they don't need breaks. At least that's what 2 of my employers used to say.) I rarely cheated on my diet. One pop a day and no treats. And guess who got fat? And I don't mean 180 lbs., either. How could I let that happen to myself? Got me. When I was suppose to gain, i.e. pregnancy, I couldn't stop throwing up. I lost big time. When I dieted and exercised, I gained. And you know what? It really pisses me off when one of these skinny brats with all those snacks pull their hands back because they're afraid that if I touch them they might get fat, too. That's when I'd use both my hands to pass them their change.
Okay, so I got that off my chest. I'm still fat. I still like chocolate, but I don't eat much of it. And I'm still not drinking Pepsi at the moment.
jmorancoyle at 12:34:00 AM CDT Blog about this entry |
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This entry has 5 comments: (Add your own)
-
First the dreams would of freaked me out big time. It could be a reaction to cold meds. When I first quit smoking I hated being in the car, simply because I used to smoke whenever we went on road trips. I stopped sitting outside on my side porch because I used to go out there to smoke. Now that I've gotten past the 6 month mark (I quit last Oct.) I seem to wonder how I ever smoked to begin with. The price of cigarettes alone should make people want to stop smoking.
Hope Becki did ok at the art school hon.
As for dieting, I tried everything then I realized what was wrong...I felt like I was punishing myself by not being able to have certain things. So now I eat what I want but watch portions. This way I don't feel deprived and I'm still eating less and losing weight. (Hugs)Indigo
http://journals.aol.com/rdautumnsage/ravens-lament/ -
about the weight, I know where you are coming from... my husband can eat anything and lose weight. I can eat half as much as him and I gain. I talked to a trainer at the gym, he was hoping to convince that I needed him on a regular basis (would have cost $40 a month, for one session a month!! No thank you!). Anyway, he did give me some tips about how I should eat while I'm on this working out schedule. He says the secret is to change up every few weeks... that our bodies get used a certain routine and settle in, our metabolism slows down, and we don't lose. He said if I were to change my routine somehow, increase the pace, or increase the number of sets, or change which machines I work on, or which body areas I focus on from one day to the next, I would fool my body into thinking I was doing more work, and the metabolism would remain high. Also, he suggested eating five small meals in a day rather than the usual two or three larger meals. I'm going to follow his advice... change the routine every couple of weeks, see if that will help, and eat the smaller meals to keep metabolism high. Don't give up... metabolism does slow down the older we get. But it's not hopeless. I'll keep you posted to see how it works for me. I've been overweight for the past twenty years. I'm not happy about this. I'm ready for a change. Good luck... the fact that you are writing about it means that you are still in the game! bea
http://journals.aol.com/bgilmore725/Wanderer/ -
And, to add to the first reply, you are a good person.
Keep the faith and just try to cut down on the amount you eat try to lose just a pound a week, Good luck, Bill -
But you know what my dear sweet freind............
I love you just as you are..........
You know why ??
Cause you have the heart of an angel.........
Your my good freind.......
And I wouldnt trade you for the world.............
7/10/08 6:41 AM
I work out every day too
I pretty much eat what I want but my eating habits are not too bad. I don't eat fast food and I don't eat nearly as much chocolate as I want to....but I am getting quite a chub in my tummy. Just don't know about that.
Marti