Sanctuary in the Desert II

2:28:57 PM PDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing my computer's fan

Five months since I last posted -- getting really bad! and only posting now because some kind soul out there in cyberspace posted a comment.  It's been a hard road to here, but then, our blessings are many compared to most, it seems, in today's troubled world!

Among the good things, our beautiful desert land and home are just about to close escrow after being on the market for five long months.  It's a very good sale to a wonderful buyer and even though we thought we couldn't be choosy in today's abysmal market. we are extremely fortunate.  The buyers are also CAT RESCUERS.  The features they love the most about our place include the "catio" and the cat-fenced compound!  It's not without mixed feelings that I am letting go of what has been the realization of a dream, to live in the desert on enough land to have my small cat sanctuary, and to be able to live like I never thought we could live, in a beautiful home and with acreage.  If I could have stayed for the rest of my life with all of my beloved ones, I would have.  Fate did not comply; in a world of refugees and nomads, we do the best we can and realize that we still have it much, much better than most these days.

I read a story on AOL about people having to sell their prized heirlooms, designer clothing and bags, etc. to pay the bills.  Truly, we are in a depression, never mind that we will, if we're lucky, get a few hundred of the hard-earned dollars we've already paid in taxes back to spend.  Stimulate the economy?  Try paying a bill or two!  Are the PTB's so absolutely clueless in their ivory towers that they really think we'll, what, go out and buy a new big-ticket item with that paltry check?  Oh, don't even get me started.

One of the most tragic aspects of this "recession" is the huge numbers of cats and other animals being abandoned to "shelters", empty habitations, the streets, and worse fates as people's desperation results in irresponsible, desperate, awful choices.  Groups are working to try to provide safety nets, legally and privately.  But we will never know the extent of the suffering these wars without end and the irresponsible self-gratification of some are causing the most blameless of all, namely, the animals once sheltered by people who are walking off and leaving them to a cruel fate.  And the worse it gets, the more morally bankrupt, soulless, and miserable these people become.  I hope those at the top are happy when they look and see what they are doing to the world!  How they can sleep at night, I do not know.

But in one little corner of the desert, another family has fallen under the unique spell and is getting ready to enter upon its own adventure.  I wish them all the very best, and pray they will be able to stay, and thrive, and be good guardians of what they are borrowing.

The Honorable Robert Nesta Marley, O.M. once sang, "When one door is closed, don't you know another is opened" and so it is, for me and my loved ones.  I pray for us, and for everyone, that somehow there can be a return to compassion, caring, and the realization that what affects one, affects all, before it is too late.  Signs are encouraging.  Let us see what the future may bring.

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12:47:40 PM PST
Feeling Sad
Hearing the hum of the modem

Six months since my last posting.  Since moving back down to the big city, I've been working almost nonstop putting our new home together,  dealing with all of my father's personal business and health issues, and fitting into the rhythm of life in a place I haven't lived in for over a decade.  It hasn't always been easy, and it has always been tinged with homesickness for the Mojave, the only true home I have ever known. 

At long last, I have found a comfortable, homelike, quiet place for my father, and will be moving him soon, praying he will be as happy as possible there.  It will be a huge load off my shoulders if all goes well.  I love my dad dearly, and it has been heartbreaking thinking he might have to stay where he is now for the "duration".  Now, we have a brighter future to look forward to for him, and this gives me great joy.

Part of the move has been reconnecting with several old friends and seeing them fairly regularly.  That's been nice, though people do change over time, and this can be unsettling.  I was very happy to reconnect with someone important in my life yesterday, and look forward to getting together soon.  For some of us, the tried and true is what really matters, and the world may change, but we know what matters most to us, and nothing will ever change that.

I saw a wonderful movie last night called, "TO WALK WITH LIONS".  It is the dramatized story of George Adamson of "Born Free" fame after his and his wife Joy's celebrated rehabilitation of Elsa the lioness to freedom after being raised by them from an orphaned cub.  While extremely disturbing and sobering, this account of the life and legacy of a great man of tremendous heart and courage will always be inspiring to me.  Adamson's stated raison d'etre was to try to stem the tide of "the genocide of wildlife"; and, while his murder by poachers ended his own personal efforts to do so, his assistant and others continued his work and legacy, protecting, among others, the lions Adamson loved all his life.  The film is a fine tribute to the life of a "Lord of All the Land", as Adamson referred to the beloved lions he befriended and protected; and it serves as a cautionary tale for those of us viewing, that it is up to each and every one of us to do our part to protect all living beings.  With that in mind, the George Adamson Wildlife Fund was set up; I have not researched the website yet, but am hoping it is up and running and easily accessible.

I'm thinking about cleaning up the back yard and patio here, and putting in some flowers and maybe a privacy hedge on the south side of the property.  It's a tiny yard, a far cry from the 2 1/2 acres I loved in the desert.  But we must do the best we can with what we have, and be grateful for every blessing given us.  I know I am, and in seeing the big picture of how things are for most in this world, there are many, many blessings to count.

My Mojave home went on the market yesterday.  It must be, I know.  But I can't help remembering the beauty of the land, the joy we felt there, the many, many animal friends I made there and will always remember, and the "what if's" that will never leave my mind.  As it stands, I can only pray that whoever buys my beloved home will love it as I did, and will actively work to protect the indigenous plants and wildlife as well as the other animals who have always found sanctuary on our land.

May all of you who celebrate tomorrow as a holiday have an enjoyable one; and may all of us who remember our own history keep it as a day of remembrance of our sacred circle, our spirituality, our deep love for all life, and our ancestors who made the ultimate sacrifice in attempting to protect all of the above. 

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4:19:25 PM PDT
Feeling Sad
Hearing Birdsong and catchat

Just a last entry before tearing the system down tomorrow morning for the move.  We had a little earthquake last night that my friend tells me was centered around Devore (a somewhat larger community to the east of us); it was a 4.0, with a 3.9 aftershock, and, while that isn't a megaquake by any means, it did rattle the cats and me.  I'll always link the shakers with the untimely and senseless death of a dear friend of mine, thirteen years ago now -- she was troubled by several huge problems which must have seemed insurmountable to her (although no problem is ever that) and the 7.0 'quake must have been the last straw for her; a couple of days after, I got the call from her brother telling me she was gone.  Her sweet cat couple came to live with me and we comforted one another for the time, all too short, that they were with us; but then they, too, had to go on ahead, and I pray that she and they are reunited now, in a place where there are no earthquakes, no deprivations, and no sufferings.  May they have peace.

Well, I'm down to stuffing lamps into boxes and packing them with quilts and pillows, so I guess that means it's "time to say goodbye" for now.  May all the readers of this little blog be well, and stay strong, and remember that, bottom line, only love, caring, and compassion truly matter; and that each of us can be the change we want to see in this world.  Indeed, it's the only way there will BE change.

PEACE

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6:35:47 PM PDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing birdsong and catchat

This will probably be my last entry before moving, and though I don't have a lot to say, I thought I should post for the occasion. 

Almost everything is now in boxes, and it's hard to move through the house because of all of them.  It's quite an obstacle course.  The Nine, of course, love lounging on, investigating, and jumping into any that aren't sealed.   I wish we were moving in instead of out.  We shall miss this beautiful desert and our lovely home.

In an ironic coda to our time spent here, we've made a good friend.  A fellow animal-lover, she has adopted our four hens, who have integrated into her chicken population and whom she is spoiling just as I did.  Intelligent, world-travelled, a great conversationalist with a wide range of interests, and a fellow desert denizen, she is exactly the type of person I'd hoped to meet when we moved here, but whom I guess is in the minority here, as everywhere else in the current tight-lipped, tighter-minded society we find ourselves living in.    Perhaps there is hope -- perhaps we will turn a corner and come back into the light after this interminable darkness we have endured for far too long.  If so, people like us will be there, working in our slow and quiet ways to nurture and preserve what is worth preserving, the diversity of species, the multitude of environments, and the qualities within our own species that are worth saving -- qualities like compassion, kindness, understanding, tolerance, diversity of culture and beliefs, and the quest to learn and to share.   The Mojave, a living treasure, could blossom then, as could this continent and this world.   My friend told me that the plan to subdivide and tract-house a nearby part of our community has been soundly defeated and that the "city fathers" (and "mothers", one presumes ;) ) of this and the adjoining communities have voted, due to massive public outcry against ruining our part of this desert, to keep to the 2 1/2-acre minimum on land parcels.  That will effectively prevent the suburbization of this beautiful and unique area, I pray.

Though I will not be staying here, it is heartening to know that the people who will, care enough to want to preserve the degree of unspoiled,  TRULY free life that is to be found here; some, at least, care enough about the original residents of this land , the members of other species, to want to keep a place for them to live unmolested, as well.  So, as I put the finishing touches on our moving preparations, I keep good thoughts for the future of this little corner of the high desert.  We may come and go, but it is good to know that the unchanging beauty of this fragile ecosystem may survive, unpaved, un-subdivided, and un-malled. 

PEACE

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3:43:29 PM PDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing the hum of the modem

Friday afternoon.  This time next week I'll be watching big, burly guys remove just about everything I have, to drive it down the mountain to our new address.  We will likely follow the next day.  We've been here in the beautiful Mojave for three years, almost to the day; it's been like a vacation in Paradise, and my heart and soul will always remain here, with those of my loved ones whose resting places are here, and in this land to which I feel so bonded.  Time to move on.

 

In my relatively short life, I will have moved twelve times.  For someone who loathes travel and feels most comfortable with pattern, that's a lot; but being someone who also tries to see the positive in whatever life throws at me, I look forward to new opportunities, new vistas, and new friends as well as being able to be closer to some of my longest-time friends. 

This week I learned of the passing of a lady who may as well have been my second mother.  Her daughter and I have been friends since we were knee-high, and I grew up in their house almost as much as in our own.  Some of my fondest memories are of their houses and of eating with them, shopping together, and spending time talking or playing games or hearing wisdom from the family matriarch, a tiny lady who came over from central Asia and had a quasi-humorous comment on just about every aspect of life.  "It's as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is to fall in love with a poor man!" she once told me, a mischievous gleam in her eye.

Now both she and her daughter have passed into legend and fond memories.  Both are greatly missed, as is my friend's father, a gentle, humorous man whose quietly observant perspectives I greatly appreciated.  Life goes on for those of us who remain here on this earthly plane; for them, I believe, something far greater and more splendid is unfolding, and we shall all be reunited one day, with no more sorrow or separation again.  Until that time, we remember, fondly.

Well, readers, it's just about all over but the shouting.  Catch ya on the other side, all going well.  PEACE

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3:32:12 PM PDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing Moh' Alileche:  TAAWIT (The Source of Water)

Thinking about the Virginia Tech tragedy, the unending tragedies in Afghanistan and Iraq (among other places), and the endless parade of people abandoning their companion cats and dogs in the "shelters" of the nation; and musing on how they are all symptoms of a much larger and more ominous picture: namely, that of a society that has lost all connection with its own moral North Star, its conscience, its true spiritual center, its compassion.

Day after day after day, we hear/read accounts of the latest shooting, war crime(s), and instances of complete and total moral turpitude, apathy, lack of human feelings toward our fellow human and other living beings.  The statistics in the shelters are most often unseen and few bother to delve into them; the cats and dogs who in the not-so-distant past were beloved family members of the majority of people domestically, seldom form a blip on the radar of today's consciousness.  But they are there, for three days, or two, or less, until society's apathy and callousness consign them to the uncounted numbers mourned only by those of us to whom they still have priceless value.

Buy this! scream the headlines.  Be like her/him! they command.  "You're either with us or you're with the (buzzword of the moment, vilifying anyone who doesn't agree with your in-group)!" the powerful rant, and their sycophants fall over themselves in a mad frenzy to get on board and go along to get along.  So you buy, and you morph yourself into the Look of the Moment, and you toe the party line.  What then? 

At the end of the day, when you lay your head down for a few hours' sleep, what do you think about?  What do you feel, if anything?

Could it be that your lack of thought and feeling are trying to alert you to a vast emptiness inside?  Is it possible that the "cool" things of the moment, the "right look", and the jingoism do not satisfy some deep need? 

Is there any thought for feelings hurt, others neglected and left, lives lost?   Oh, yes, I know it's in exceedingly poor taste these days to remind anyone of anything real or true; but a popularity contest is the last thing I've ever been interested in partaking of, let alone winning.   What I AM interested in, on the other hand, is those feelings, those others, those lives.  For therein lie my own self, my own feelings, my own sorrows and joys.

The two photos above might be thought of as representing two sides of this coin.  The first is of a cat and a man reunited in the wake of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita.  The man journeyed from his refugee location to this joyous reunion; he spoke of his love for his cat, and how finding his cat again meant everything to him.

The second photo is of a cat pulled from "euthanasia" (the politically correct term for "society's apathy and total lack of personal responsibility toward the domestic cats and dogs it once held dear, so they abandon them to assembly-line killing factories, thereby absolving themselves of any guilt") by an overburdened, harried, frustrated rescuer, a friend of mine, who wonders, as I do, when the public will once again wake up and return to the tried and true remedy for most of the things that ail us; namely, the unconditional love and loyalty that only a committed relationship can bring, and that is best exemplified by the love of a cat (or, for those who like them, a dog, or other animal).

I guess the answer to that question lies, as Sarah McLachlan so eloquently sings on the HSUS' latest ad,  "In the arms of the angels".

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5:30:58 PM PDT
Feeling Frustrated
Hearing None

Another day, another barrage of finger-pointing and recriminations related to the Virginia Tech tragedy.  I can't help but feel, along with the anguish I would think any normal person would feel in the wake of such senseless loss of life, frustration and irritation at the latest round of entertainment-biz and "famous" types trotted out to defend the apparently sacrosanct  "right " to write, publish, and film ever more sick, twisted, cruel, and desensitizing depictions of gratuitous violence, while anyone politically incorrect enough to criticize or question this "right" is denounced as being anti-free-expression. 

Yes, each of us has the inalienable right to think as (s)he pleases, and even to express our views to others.  But some points of view, and some forms of violence against fellow living beings, are, and should be, so repugnant as to be ostracized and given votes of no confidence.   Take, for instance, anti-Semitism.  Anyone espousing anti-Semitic views in print or on film is likely to be roundly criticized, and rightly so.  (Few in this time or place care to remember, however, that Arabs are also Semitic peoples; nor does criticism, vilification, and denigration of them arouse much ire amonng the majority.  But that, apparently, is a matter for another discussion.)  Anti-Semitism, as it applies to one Semitic people, at least, is so politically incorrect that most people know it is not a view to be espoused in the mainstream media.  But many other forms of hatred and intolerance are becoming so commonplace in domestic society as to be at least tacitly accepted by growing segments of that society.   I'll leave it up to the reader to think of examples, as there are many and more all the time.

I have satellite television and radio services as well as access to the Internet.  Every time I turn on the television and try to find something even remotely entertaining and enlightening, I find it harder and harder to come up with anything.  Most of the recent films' plots center around one or more of the following:  gratuitous violence, drug dealing, gangs, crime, infidelity, intolerance, or theft.  Many of these films, and a lot of the series, graphically depict violence, death, gore, and denigration of minorities, women, animals, or those who do not toe the mainstream line.  Then there are the shows too banal and vacuous to even bother turning on (and I won't name them -- again, I'm sure readers can think up quite a few, if they're honest with themselves).  That leaves, generally, reviewings of films and programs I've already seen and know to be worth watching, and occasionally, a new film or program with content that doesn't leave me feeling I've been visually and emotionally assaulted, or that I've wasted several hours of my time.  Something is really wrong with this picture, and it needs to change.  I won't even comment on music or the Internet, or gaming; they are far, far worse.

I am not the only person who feels this way, nor would I be in the minority if a broad segment of the populace could weigh in on the subject.  Believe it or not, many of us prefer programming that doesn't make us feel disgusted to be alive, and that even makes us feel uplifted, or at least educated. 

And while I'm ranting, we'd like to see more international programming, and more positive depictions of different peoples and cultures.  A monoculture may be okay for the mainstream, but there are billions of other people out here who have absolutely no connection to most of what we are seeing in the mainstream media.  How about including the rest of the world?

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1:40:08 PM PDT
Feeling Sad
Hearing TRAGEDY/Moh' Alileche

Reflecting on the tragedy at Virginia Tech and wondering, after having read the alleged gunman's two plays, why all of the red flags and the concern seemingly felt by just about everyone Cho Seung-Hui came into contact with at University failed to address what was clearly deep-seated rage and alienation with his peers and with the society at large.  Two themes that scream out from the writings are those of feeling extremely threatened by the older generation, in the form of step-father and teacher, both of whom Cho's characters accuse of sexually assaulting them, and powerlessness in the face of these threats.  In the plays, the victimized characters do NOT harm or kill their assailants, though they clearly wish to do so.  As this is a central theme in both of the plays, why was nothing apparently done to address the feelings and provide healing and support for a person who so clearly felt besieged and with nowhere to turn?

In my school days, which were not that long ago, we had something called the Rap Room, where students could go to rap -- the word had the same meaning as it does these days, but we weren't doing it to make money or record songs, we were expressing ourselves among our peers and with a counsellor, in unstructured and completely free style, in a nonthreatening, nonjudgmental atmosphere, getting things off our chests and sharing them.  No one dissed us, and no one told us what to do or  what not to do; it was simply a forum for our feelings.  It has been stated repeatedly during the aftermath of this tragedy that no such outlet exists at Virginia Tech, or indeed, in most schools and universities. 

 

Why not?

 

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3:33:27 PM PDT
Feeling Sad
Hearing TRAGEDY/Moh' Alileche

Once again, we are witness to a spectacle of senseless bloodletting and taking of life.  Yesterday, a 23-year-old student allegedly mowed down 32 of his fellow students and professors before taking his own life.  His rampage left a trail of carnage at Virginia Tech and a pall on the university, the nation, and the world.

Why did this happen?  Was it an isolated incident?  Far from it.  It is only the latest in a long line of such domestic incidents dating from 1966, I have learned from the ever-eager media.  Back in those days, I assume, such events were so unheard of as to elicit shock and disbelief.  Now, it will result in the expected flood of candlelight vigils, media coverage of weeping and angry men and women on the street, and talk of "closure" for families, friends, and loved ones of thirty-three people whose lives have been snuffed out before their time.

The alleged perpetrator of this massacre was, by all accounts thus far made public, a troubled soul who kept totally to himself, talking to no one and refusing even to acknowledge offers of inclusion and kindness on the part of his fellow students.  Privately, however, it was quite another matter:  published excerpts from a play he was writing reveal a tortured, traumatized young man lashing out violently against those he perceived as victimizing and brutalizing him and his loved ones.  Peers claim they knew he was deeply disturbed; it is said he had had some kind of mental/emotional health treatment, though this clearly did not "cure" him or make him a responsible member of society.

And what of that society?  It is a culture which, from every conceivable angle, glorifies cruelty, apathy, gratuitous violence, the denigration of women, animals, the weak, the underprivileged, the "other", while at the same time making weapons, such as the Glock .9 mm semi-automatic handgun he purchased last month, readily available to any who are legal residents with the green to back up their green cards or birth certificates.  

How many lives does it take before such weapons are classified as weapons of mass destruction?  People foam at the mouth over nonexistent WMD's in other sovereign nations; what will be the reaction to this latest massacre in which thirty-three men and women lost their lives?  Charlton Heston, head of the National Rifle Association, boasted that gun control would occur when the right to bear arms was taken from his "cold, dead hands".  He, of course, does not have to know the reality of his statement, nor, I presume, have any of HIS loved ones ever had their lives taken by someone on the other end of a gun.

How many more lives will be cut short before this land wakes up and says, "NEVER AGAIN"?

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1:47:20 PM PST
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing none

It hasn't been exactly my year to burn up cyberspace with scintillating posts.  From the very start, this has been the hardest year of my life, one fraught with crises, uncertainties, and betrayals.  The light has been far off and faint, for most of this year; but still, I continue to work for the positive, and to hope for a return to compassion, caring, and sanity among those who seem to have lost all of the above. 

 

This year we lost a bright soul.  Mr. Steve Irwin may have been an in-your-face, bombastic kind of guy, but he was much, much more than just a showman/entrepeneur.  He truly CARED about animals, and he showed it at every opportunity.  Though he gave his life for those he loved, many seem to have lost the message and turned on those he loved, holding them "responsible" for his tragic and untimely death.  It is my hope and my prayer that somehow, these and other people will "get it" and help Terri, Bindi, Bob, and the rest of the Irwin family and associates in their battle to SAVE the individuals and species of our earth.  It is the most important battle there is.

On the other hand, we have an execution to look forward to, within 24 hours or so by the media's reporting.  As an opponent of capital punishment (though not, perversely, an opponent of defense of oneself and one's loved ones, or of what I would refer to as Divine Justice, which cannot be meted out by self-righteous, vengeful humans) I do not defend this action, nor do I feel it is justified in the instance in which it is apparently being carried out.  I am sure that if a group of people were convicted of trying to assassinate some other world leader, those persons would receive swift and merciless retribution.  So to execute a man for taking action against a group bent on killing HIM does not seem justified to me.  The old double standard is still at work, sadly.  I guess that's what one risks when one tries to upstage those who brook no opposition in their quest to own it all.    I don't shed tears; but I do question the morality of this sentence.

Finally, may 2007 bring much-needed relief to the many of us who struggle to survive and to maintain our compassion and sanity amid an insane and ruthless climate.  I'm not too big on eloquence; but those who care will feel what I'm trying to say, and join in the prayers for a sea change in thought and action by those who are causing so much suffering to so many.   May it be so.

 

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