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8:55:00 AM EST
Hearing Fire -- Pointer Sisters
When Jerks Attack
Got a concerned letter from an AOL Journaler today -- seems another AOL Journer is (in this person's opinion) not only acting like a total jerk, but is also aware and proud of being a jerk to other AOL Journalers. So the first AOL Journaler wants to know if the jerk Journaler has a right to be a jerk.
The answer: Yeah, pretty much.
Here's the deal -- if someone on AOL Journals is flagrantly violating AOL's Terms of Service (that's an AOL-only link), then feel free to complain. If AOL's ToS folks agree, they'll get out their patented Boots of Stompage and deal with the Journaler in their own way. However, and this is a fairly important point to make, just being a jerk does not, in itself, rise to the level of violating AOL's terms of service. It just means that this person doesn't play nice with others and they're destined to be the loneliest kid on the virtual playground, because no one will want to be their friend.
Some people are just twits. We all know this. Some people take delight in messing with other people's heads, or saying things to rile others up. We could spend time delving into the motiviations thereof -- not enough hugs as a child, or possibly a traumatic experience involving a clown, or whatever -- but unless you're willing to commit to intensive therapeutic sessions to help this person work through the pain, it's probably best simply to note that person is a jerk and is both best avoided and ignored.
That's right: Ignored. One of the nice things about interaction on AOL Journals is that if someone is truly annoying you, you can just not pay attention to them. Don't visit their Journal, and use your preferences to block them from commenting on yours. Don't make a big production about it, and announce to the world that you're doing it; that's just an invitation for more drama. Just do it. The jerk will continue to exist, of course, but they'll do it outside your perception, and if a jerk is a jerk when no one's around to notice, who cares? See, it works.
Again, if someone is being truly noxious, and noxious toward you personally, they may have AOL terms of service issues, and you can check with AOL about that. But I suspect nine out of ten times, the best thing to do with a jerk Journaler is simply decide not to listen to them any more. Yes, they're a jerk. That's their karma. But life is tooshort to spend any amount of time wondering about what a jerk has to say. There are lots of better people to spend time with, here in AOL Journals and outside of it.
Written by johnmscalzi Blog about this entry |
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I truly hope others have read this..I totally agree with you..Just ignore the person..and don't let people know you are ignoring the person..just brings more attention to them..Just like on those message boards..ignore the mean ones..stop replying back to them!
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Applause!!! Excellent entry! I hope it was read by MANY, since this is an issue that is popping up a whole lot lately. Several of my friends have been getting nasty comments, which can be very upsetting to a good person. You know? Nasty commenters need to JUST GO AWAY!!!!
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If a jerk is in a forest...
Also, jerkness is in the eye of the beholder.
-Paul
http://journals.aol.ca/plittle/AuroraWalkingVacation/ -
You tell'em John! To Voice ones opinion in an unhurtful, unhateful manner can be tiresome for the not so stableminded individual. However, as you mentioned we do have AOL "Ignore" to assist us. You are a great person with a wonderful sense of humor and have taught me a lot about Journaling and are very informative. Hopefully you won't have to read anymore obnoxious email from "JERKS". Happy trails...
Rebecca
1/21/05 9:17 PM