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They're Paying For Their Crimes (And Not Just Against Fashion)
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Wednesday, June 21, 2006
11:48:00 AM EDT
Hearing Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go: Wham!
Here's a story sure to get a chuckle out of everyone who thinks baggy pants are the stupidest fashion trend since, well, baggy pants:
Just about every other week, Jim Matheny, a 41-year-old police lieutenant in Stamford, Conn., says he gets into foot chases with youths. He says it's getting easier to capture them because they can't run fast or far in those loose jeans.
"When I catch them, I tell them they'd do much better if they had pants that fit," says Lt. Matheny, who says he has had to help hold up the pants of his suspects while patting them down to search for drugs or weapons. "It's like: 'Hey dude, buy a belt and save yourself some trouble.' "
Ill-fitting pants aren't suited for jumping, either, as Noah Donell Brown of Hendersonville, N.C., learned. The 24-year-old tried to leap over the counter of a Subway sandwich shop during a robbery attempt, but he stumbled and came crashing down in front of several startled store employees. Mr. Brown, armed with a gun, got up and fled into a nearby residential neighborhood as the police were notified.
He was later caught on a fence, hanging upside down from his baggy-ass pants.
Back in my day, we had similar fashion nightmares, primarily those deeply embarassing "acid-washed" jeans that were all the rage. But I'm not aware of acid-washed jeans slowing anyone down, just making them look like a dork. We did have baggy clothes, but they were those extra large "Frankie Say" T-shirts, and they were only popular for about three weeks in 1985.
In any event, I hear that those jail sweats are somewhat loose-fitting as well. Hope those folks enjoy them.
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11:48:00 AM EDT
Hearing Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go: Wham!
They're Paying For Their Crimes (And Not Just Against Fashion)
Here's a story sure to get a chuckle out of everyone who thinks baggy pants are the stupidest fashion trend since, well, baggy pants:
Just about every other week, Jim Matheny, a 41-year-old police lieutenant in Stamford, Conn., says he gets into foot chases with youths. He says it's getting easier to capture them because they can't run fast or far in those loose jeans.
"When I catch them, I tell them they'd do much better if they had pants that fit," says Lt. Matheny, who says he has had to help hold up the pants of his suspects while patting them down to search for drugs or weapons. "It's like: 'Hey dude, buy a belt and save yourself some trouble.' "
Ill-fitting pants aren't suited for jumping, either, as Noah Donell Brown of Hendersonville, N.C., learned. The 24-year-old tried to leap over the counter of a Subway sandwich shop during a robbery attempt, but he stumbled and came crashing down in front of several startled store employees. Mr. Brown, armed with a gun, got up and fled into a nearby residential neighborhood as the police were notified.
He was later caught on a fence, hanging upside down from his baggy-ass pants.
Back in my day, we had similar fashion nightmares, primarily those deeply embarassing "acid-washed" jeans that were all the rage. But I'm not aware of acid-washed jeans slowing anyone down, just making them look like a dork. We did have baggy clothes, but they were those extra large "Frankie Say" T-shirts, and they were only popular for about three weeks in 1985.
In any event, I hear that those jail sweats are somewhat loose-fitting as well. Hope those folks enjoy them.
Written by johnmscalzi Blog about this entry |
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This entry has 7 comments: (Add your own)
-
Bill, maybe this ars thought by wearing a fur coat, they'd think he was a bear, shot him with a tranqulizer gun and release him into the wild.
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HAHAHAHA!!! Working in a 911 center, I especially enjoy reading this. Lord knows, it is SO true.
I've often heard it said that criminals are generally stupid. After all, if they weren't stupid, they'd be able to get a job.
Of course, my favorite "crime of fashion" came in a recent standoff. One of the suspects had been hiding in a closet and came out wearing a fur coat. No kidding. Life... it really is stranger than fiction.
Bill, the Wildcat
http://journals.aol.com/knightbek/TheWildcatsLair/ -
Some of my students need to read this.
Jess
http://journals.aol.com/aurielalata/CIWTheOtherInvisible
http://awomanvisible.blogspot.com -
Baggy pants photo enclosed, do not fold:
http://journals.aol.com/teeisme57/OhMyWord/entries/1812
6/24/06 12:57 AM
- They're great to hide a gun in.
- Conventional-fitting jeans can't accomodate a 40 oz. bottle of malt liquor in each of the front pockets.
- My genitalia is so large, I have to buy 4 sizes up.
- They increase shoplifting hauls, in both volume and larger individual grabs.
- E-Z access... in both dropping of drawers for the H2, and the ability to get them off over sneakers for basketball.
- They give a distant viewer the impression that you are larger than you are, saving you a lot of fighting with motorists.