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11:14:00 AM EDT
Hearing Told You So -- Depeche Mode
The Cubs and Red Sox Must Go Down
I've decided I haven't made enough enemies today, so allow me to mark myself for death in two major metropolitan areas by saying the following: I want the Cubbies and Red Sox to lose. The sooner the better. Both of these teams have important roles to play in our national character, and that is to lose. And both, I'm afraid to say, are dangerously close to failing in that important role.
Yes, I know. Everybody talks about how Americans like winners. That may be true, but point of fact America needs its losers too -- and not just your average, run of the mill losers, but towering, mythical losers, whose deeds, exploits and tragic downfalls are told once and again in bars, taverns, sport columns and books. The Cubs and the Red Sox are just those losers: Big, brilliant, awesome losers whose history of loserdom is singular (in their leagues, at least). Sure, other baseball teams have never won the World Series, but, honestly now, who cares whether the Mariners or Tampa Bay wins or loses? They're not classic losers. They're not the Cubs. They're not the Red Sox.
The Red Sox have the Curse of the Bambino. The Cubbies have damn near a century of futility. Both teams have fans who are both pugnacious and philosophical about the nature of defeat. They know from pain. If these teams become winners, what is there to separate these fans from Oriole fans? From A's fans? From -- quietly, now -- Yankee fans?
Come on! Red Sox and Cub fans know they're better than that. Any idiot can root for a winner. It takes a special strength of character to root for the loser, year in and year out. Look at Chicago. Look at Boston. These are tough, proud cities. Suffering makes you strong. And at least they have the Celtics and Bulls. Or, well, did. You know.
Cubs and Red Sox, you know what you must do. Lose! Lose mightily! Lose with an error of Bucknerian proportions. Lose with the Mighty Sammy at Bat. Lose with the quality of tragedy that stabs your fans right in the heart, and leaves them just enough time to grow scar tissue before the next season.
Lose brilliantly. It is your destiny.
Written by johnmscalzi Blog about this entry |
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I commented in my journal--http://www.livejourn
al.com/~epj as I couldn't confine my thoughts to the five hundred characters permitted here. I love reading your writing, but in this case, you could not be more wrong. -
You're overlooking the obvious: Cubs and Red Sox in the World Series. One of them has to win and their curse will be over and, for their fans, it will be the greatest day in the history of the world...
But the other team will be the losers. And their fans will have to live with humiliating, crushing defeat for at least another generation or two. And, whomever loses, you just know it will happen in the most demoralizing way possible, and they will truly be enshrined in the Hall of Shame... -
Hey'd ya hear?! Cubbies in the 11th! :)
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Sorry pal. New century. We always kick butt in the oughts.
10/11/03 11:33 AM
I can think of a couple scenarios where that wouldn't be true. It would involve wiping out large chunks of Boston and/or Chicago, though. I don't know that anyone wants THAT.