Journeyz Destination

Four panthers and a tiger... That's what lives outside my kitchen door, lounging on the cement pad by the wooden shed... Well, so to speak.  Four black cats and a tabby to be exact... And I can't find homes for them... So, they are now my responsibility.  They seem quite content to go nowhere... Larry and Lu-Lu (I changed the spelling from Loo-Loo to Lu-Lu), they both adore me.  Tab and Inky have come around pretty good, they are allowing me to pet them now... The only one left to win in Patch... She's a tough one, but she seems to want to trust me.  She see's all the other ones getting attention and looks at me with great curiosity in her eyes... I think she will come around eventually.  Now, what to do for shelter this winter... We have a shed, but it is full of stuff... There is about a 4 foot long space between the back of the shed and the 6 ft fence on two sides of it (the shed is in a corner)I'm thinking of how we can build some kind of shelter there with hay inside for warmth.  One of the local shelters said they would spay and neuter the cats for $25 each... That's really cheap, but that's $125, plus the cost of building a shelter, $125 plus that we don't really have, but somehow we are going to have to come up with it because I just can't turn my backs on them... We'll find a way.  Even my husband has grown to love them... Larry is super affectionate, and Lu-Lu is so sweet. The would make wonderful pets for someone... If only I could find a home.  Then there is Daddy-O who is getting old and tired, but he is as sweet as they come... I haven't seen Indigo for a few days... I'm wondering if she gave birth yet... Another litter of unwanted kittens <sigh>.

Well the fall is just around the corner, my favorite time of year... The last two seasons I spent in the house, but this one I plan to enjoy to the hilt!  I hope it is a good one.  I am working on a cornucopia latch-hook rug to hang in the kitchen... I will be having thanksgiving dinner here this year... My two sisters and their husbands will be attending along with my daughter and son-in-law, after they visit his family... They will be coming for the desert, so I will make it extra special.... Going to try a recipe I found for Creme Brulee Pie... Sounds yummy!

I hope all of you have had a wonderful summer... I know I have.  I hope you enjoy the fall weather with the turn of the leaves and the quietness it all brings... I plan to take every advantage to enjoy every moment of every day from now on... We don't know when the day will come when we are too tired to take that walk, but when and if it does come, may you have plenty of happy memories to recall.

Love and Goodwill to everyone,

Journey

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Hello everybody... I thought I would give you an update on how things are going over here in my neck of the woods...

Well, today was an eventful day... I took my mother, who is 82 years old, to the DMV to register to vote for the first time in her life. That was cool.  I finally got her to see that she needed to exercise her right to vote, that her vote does count.  She has been following the election pretty close and has strong opinions about certain things... I told her that if she doesn't vote that she has no right to complain about the way things are going.  She usually pays me no mind, but this time she did... so you can imagine the shock I had this morning when she said to me "So... are we going to go register to vote today, or not?" LOL!  She was sold on John McCain after listening to him Saturday evening at the Saddleback meeting... She thinks Barak Obama is a good man,but lacks the experience needed to be president... And I agree with her... But it wouldn't matter if I did or didn't, she certainly is a woman who knows her own mind, and I respect that.  It's funny... after all the locking horns that we have done through the years we actually had a really nice day together.  After we registered to vote we went to one of my favorite places in Akron called West Point Market were they have lots of unique nick knacks and prepared foods... I was looking at a tea set and was commenting on how cute it was... Wouldn't you know she went and bought if for me for my birthday (which is next week)!  I tried to talk her out of it saying that she was too strapped financially to buy it (which she is) but she insisted on getting it for me anyway... so, I let her.  It's light blue and dark blue and has kitty cats on it that remind me of the strays I'm trying to take care of and find homes for... It is a teapot on top of a round cup with a saucer underneath and a tea bag holder to the side... It's really cute!  Tomorrow I am taking her to the Senior Citizen's Center for dinner (yes, I got her to join!)... And we will probably take a walk by the lake that is in front of it if my arthritic knee doesn't give me problems... We have been walking there for the past week and my knee started acting up (wouldn't ya know it?).

Now, about Indigo and Daddy-o and the clan they left behind... I say left behind because that's exactly what they did.  Indigo got pregnant again and must have had her litter somewhere else because I don't see them anywhere and she disappears all day only coming back at dusk to eat and hiss at her adolescent kids... I'm afraid she has gone wild again... She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore and I am so sad about it.  Daddy-o comes around once every few days and eats, but he loves me.  Out of the five kittens only one has come to trust me... I named him Larry... However, I did have a break through with the smallest one today, she let me pet her a little bit for the first time... I don't know for sure, but I think she is a female, so I named her Loo-Loo...  The tabby cat still don't trust me and the other two black ones each have a bad eye and need medical attention, but they won't let me any closer than two feet of them.  So.... there's my dilemma.  Larry I can pick up and hold so there is hope that I can find him a home... I'm working on Loo-Loo and hope she will learn to trust me.  The other's I will probably have to use a humane trap to catch them... Once they are caught I think they will warm up to people eventually.

My daughter is taking me out to dinner for my birthday next Wednesday on her day off... What an improvement in our relationship from last year at this time... I am so grateful to be back in her life.

I hope today finds everyone doing well and enjoying their summer... If any of you are having a hard time of it and need someone to talk to, just let me know... I'm here to listen.

Have a great week!

Journey aka Becky

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That's their names... They came to us about five weeks ago.  Indigo Princess is a small black cat who had given birth to five kittens... She was skin and bones and was not use to humans, or at least had been on her own for quite sometime.  Something tells me that her and Daddy-O had been someone's pets at one time and then was quite possibly abandoned, which happens more often than we'd like to think.  Normally I don't get involved when it comes to stray cats.  They are usually too wild to get near anyway... But Indigo (named after a JLand blogger who is a great humanitarian and has a special love for cats and often blogged about her cat named "pickles") looked like she was next to death.  When I realized she had five kittens to feed, I had to take action.  She had moved her litter underneath our porch... When a situation like that is right under your nose, you have to do something about it... At least, I do.  At first she hissed and spit. But after a few weeks of feeding her (she was starving!) she began to calm down.  Eventually we won her trust.

Daddy-O came along with the package.  I'm not sure if he is even the Dad.  He is tabby and so is one of the kittens, so it is possible.  But something tells me that these two had been together for some time, maybe the same person owned both of them.  Daddy-O is not well.  He has goopy eyes and a matted tail... but he craves affection.  I am going to be calling around tomorrow to see if there is somewhere I can take him to be treated.  We don't have the money and the vet's office won't take them without payment, even if they are dying right in front of them... I found that out.  He looks like he's on his way out.  And Indigo and her kittens have ticks, which is literally sucking the life out of them.  I'm trying to win the kittens' trust, but so far, to no avail.  I can manage to get within about two feet of them, and then "whoooosh!", they take off.

I have my work cut out for me, so wish me luck on this one.  Have a good week everyone... Hope I didn't bum anyone out.  But, they are luckier than most strays... At least we are feeding them and attempting to find them homes.

Take Care and God Bless!

~Journey aka Becky

Meeeeeeeeeeow!  Have a great day!

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Thought I would give everyone a heads up on what's been happening... Along with my family physician I have seen an orthopedic doctor.  I have had an MRI which detected severe scoliosis in my upper back.  My orthopedic doctor showed me an X-ray of my neck, upper back and shoulders.  The curve in my spine is quite significant, thus all the pain.  My spine kind of resembles a snake side winding along, in a way, maybe not quite that curvy, but certainly enough to cause significant pain.  I guess the muscles in the surrounding area start to revolt as my spine continues to contort.  My rib cage turns slightly to the right and my right shoulder sits back further than my left causing the right side of my back to protrude outward similar to that of a hunch back or someone with a severe form of osteoporosis... The left side of my back is significantly flat, almost concaved.  That's because my spine is slowly twisting itself.  On top of this condition I have fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and neuropathy.  That's why I have been in so much pain.  I also had an ultrasound of my thyroid and it was discovered that I have an enlarged thyroid (goiter) with several nodules.  These nodules are usually found to be benign.  Because of the medical expenses I currently have I am having to postpone seeing the endocrinologist for my thyroid.  I will probably have to have it removed and I am not looking forward to it with all of the other pain that I have, but I realize things could still be much worse.  I am just glad to finally have an answer to why I have had so much pain.

Some good news on the home front... I am now driving again! :-)  My husband bought me a 2007 PT Cruiser... It's silver, like my hair! LOL!  Matches the frame on my eye glasses too!  I love it!  I didn't drive or even leave the house for nearly two years, so you can imagine the joy and freedom I feel!  Mentally and spiritually things are so good for me.  I felt like I was in a deep, dark, painful pit for so very long, and now I feel like a bird who has escaped it's captive cage!  I appreciate things in a way that I never appreciated them before!  I LOVE LIFE!!! 

I hope whatever any of you may be going through that you find the same strength and faith that I have found throughout my life...  I never looked at suffering as a gift before this last ordeal I went through...  Even though I am still in pain physically, mentally I have a whole new outlook on life.  And I know it is because of prayer and because of the value I took from the lesson I learned with my experience.  I never thought I would ever again be able to do the things I am doing now... But the Lord proved me wrong.  At one point I thought I would never live to see the year 2008... But here I am, and I'm loving it!  Don't ever give up on life... As long as there is breath, there is hope.  And one more thing, the most important thing, don't ever think that you have done something so bad in life that you are beyond redemption... It just simply isn't true.  There is nothing you could have done or said that is so bad that God would turn his back on you.  NOTHING.  Don't give anyone the power to ruin your life by telling you that you are "worthless" and "no good".  I have made many mistakes in my life, some of them terrible ones, but I know that God loves me... And even though, for a time, I felt that he had left me, I assure you, he didn't.  And he hasn't left you either.  Don't hand over, to anyone, the keys to your life, your happiness, and your future by allowing them to tell you that God has left you, or that you are not worth the ground that you walk on.  If your heart is good, God will see that.  If your heart is bad, God will see that too.  But as long as there is life, there is hope.  Don't ever forget that.

I Hope everyone had a wonderful Forth of July holiday and that your summer has been a good one!

With Love and Respect,

Journey aka Becky

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I wanted to take a moment and let everybody know that I am taking a break from my on line activities... I am currently seeing several doctors and having multiple tests... All of the running around has left me feeling drained.  I have found much alone time and have been doing a lot of thinking... Some personal changes are taking place in my life right now and I need time to think things through, so I will only be on line every now and then.  I probably won't me doing much emailing, so if you don't hear from me for a while just know that I am taking time off to work on my life and that I am not meaning to be unsociable.  All of you have added a great deal of pleasure to my life at a time when I so desperately needed it... And I still need it, I just also need some quiet time.  I hope all of you are enjoying the warm weather... I also hope that those of you who are searching for it find happiness and joy and love in their lives... All of you deserve to have the best life possible.  As a very famous and precious man once said, "Peace be with you".

With Love and Respect, Always

Journey aka Becky

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Thank you all for your prayers... My mom has made it through surgery and is doing well.  In fact she is doing so well that she will be leaving the hospital tomorrow morning, only two days after her surgery.  She will be spending some time at my sister's house while recovering.  Just wanted to update all of you on her progress and let you know how grateful I am for your support.  Hope you all are enjoying the warmer weather... It was a tough winter and we were ready for it.  Have fun out there and be safe!

~Journey

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I would like to send out a request for prayer... My Mom is having surgery tomorrow to remove an aneurysm in her abdomen... She has one near her kidney as well, so the surgeon may remove that one also, if the surgery is going well... If not, he will remove it at a later date... The surgeon will be putting stints in as well.  My Mom is 82 years old and starting to become quite feeble... Up till recently she has been in relatively good health, although she has had several surgeries throughout her life time.  It is my understanding that this is major surgery and it may take her a while to recover.  She will be staying with my older sister not far from here.

As most of you know, my Mom and I have never been close, so if something were to happen to her during this time, I would probably be taking it the hardest.  As rare as it is, my Mom and I had a nice weekend together.  I am glad for that much.  If you would, please remember my Mom as you pray or if you attend church and have a prayer chain, please ask others to pray for a successful surgery and quick recovery... Her name is Beatrice.  I thank you much and will hopefully be writing soon with good news.

With Love and Respect,

Journey aka Becky

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I can talk the talk, but can I walk the walk?  That's what I had to ask myself today...Today, my Mom and I got into probably the worse altercation we have ever had... It stemmed from a call from my doctor's office... I could go into it and say a bunch of stuff that would make her look bad, but that is not what I want to do... That would only make me feel worse as a person.  As bad as that was, something good came of it... I was able to apologize not necessarily for her sake, but for my own and at the same time I was able to forgive her, whether or not she asked me too.  I finally realize, in all of my 50 years of living, that forgiveness is much more beneficial to the person doing the forgiving than it is for the person who is being forgiven.  There is a quote, and I don't remember who said it... "Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free, only to find that the prisoner was you".  Those words stuck with me... There is a reason why the Lord says to forgive, because he knows that we cannot be free unless we do, and who knows what's better for us than our maker?  I apologized to my Mom because it would better my life and when my life is better, those around me benefit.  It's not even important that she accept my apology, it is only important that I make it... and forgiveness on her part is up to her, that is her choice to make... I am at peace now because I did the right thing for me...  Peace is a wonderful thing.

I am leaving you with a link to a song that I am listening to by Secret Garden called Hymn to Hope... I hope that you can connect to the link and hear the music.  Miles of smiles to you my friends.   ~Journey

Secret Garden Hymn To Hope - Song - MP3 Stream on IMEEM Music

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Respect... It should be a given when it comes to children and parents.... but it's not always.  My daughter has a hard time talking to me with "respect".  It goes way back... back to a time in my life that I am not proud of... someday I might write in my journal about that time in my life.  It makes me sad.  I wish I could have her respect... I feel I have earned it, but even though she says I have, I just don't see it.  I guess the problem is hers to let go of.  I have had to let go of it... I can't carry it around with me for the rest of my life, if I do, then I can't get better, I can't get to the next step in my life, it will drag me under...  I wish she could let go of the anger... I can see where it is hurting her.  Anyway, I just feel so sad about it and thought it might help for me do a little blogging about it.  My daughter is only 24, she has so much to learn yet about life, but didn't we all at that age?  Me and my Mom were never close and we still aren't, but we know that we love each other anyway.  I know my daughter loves me in her own way and I adore her and she knows that... I guess that is the best we can do sometimes... That is better than being estranged like some family members are... How sad for them... We take for granted that they will be there tomorrow should we ever decide to make amends.  And it's not even really about being wrong or right... But respect, that is something that has to be earned... I lost mine for a while, but I finally got it back... I now have respect for myself, which is more important than having someone else's respect... I am glad to have at least come this far... I hope someday that my daughter and I will be close again, like we were when she was little.

I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday weekend... Ours has been a good one so far... Tomorrow is suppose to be sunny and warm... How good it is to be alive.

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