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Feeling Hopeful
The Beginning
This is the first entry in my new journal. I have never really blogged much in the past, so this will be a relatively new experience for me.
First, a little about myself...
I am 50 yrs old and live in the mid west region of the US. I have been married for going on 25 years now. My husband and I have a beautiful 24 year old daughter, who is also married (no grand children yet). We currently live with my 81 yr old Mother in the city of Akron, located in the state of Ohio. We have 2 cats (Dusty and Mac) and a little black Pomeranian named Sparky. I have 2 older sisters, who reside close to me, and an older brother who passed away at the age of 51 in 2001. I was born in Ravenna, Ohio on August 25th, 1957 and my husband was born in Klamath Falls, Oregon, along with our daughter who was born there, also.
I met my husband, whose name is Jeff, in 1983 when I visited an old high school friend of mine for the summer in Klamath Falls. I arrived in the city on the 29th of April. We met the 29th of July , of all places, in a honky-tonk bar (and, I say "of all places", because one does not usually meet marriage material in a watering hole). I had, reluctantly, gone with a friend of mine that night to keep her company (and, I say "reluctantly", not because I was exactly a goodie-two-shoes at that time, or any other time, for that matter... but, because I was just tired from working all day in a beer garden (hey, had to do what it took to pay my way) and the last thing I wanted to do was go to another bar. But, I went with her anyway because she didn't want to go alone). She ended up playing at the black jack tables for most of the night while I sat at the table, alone. Needless to say, I wasn't very happy that night. As luck would have it (or God's intervention, however you want to look at it, I choose the latter), this very handsome man in a cowboy hat come over to the table I was sitting at and asked me if I would like to dance. I was just getting ready to tell him to bug-off (because I had been approached my drunken cowboys all night) when something told me to look up at him (no, I wasn't laying on the floor, I was sitting down and he was standing up, silly.) when I saw those big, beautiful, dreamy brown eyes and that high-lighted, blondish, yes-I've-been-out-in-the-sun-all-day hair, hanging down from underneath his cowboy hat (yes, I know that sounds strange) and his big bright smile, well... you know... I had to say yes. And, I'll never forget the song. It was the song sung by Alabama, titled "Feels So Right". That was the beginning of the end of our honkey-tonkin' days and the wonderful beginning of our life's Journey together. We were married on December 17, 1983. My family couldn't make it out for the wedding (many different and good reasons why) so it was a little bitter-sweet for me that day. My friend's father, whom I have known for most of my life, walked me down the isle, which was good for him because his daughter got married over in Germany while she was in the Army and he did not get to attend. We had our daughter not long after that and so, the story goes.
I am, also, somewhat disabled, or as some people would prefer to call it, physically challenged. I have a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and my case is severe. I also have other undiagnosed physical problems that plague me, but because of my extreme fear of hospitals and doctors I have not been able to have them properly diagnosed or treated. This extreme fear is paralyzing to me, and I have not, as of yet, been able to overcome it. So I ask that those of you who are reading this, to please remember me in your prayers and if you go to church, to please add me to your prayer list. Maybe, together, with my Internet friends and my family and friends, I can finally beat this monster called fear.
Okay, that was a lot about myself. LOL. But, that's okay, I'm sure. People who aren't interested in my life wouldn't be reading this blog anyway. Well, the day is getting away from me now and I still have many things to accomplish on this bright and wonderful day.
For those of you who are interested, the link to my aol profile is as follows:
http://profiles.aol.com/journeyzpath
Sunshine & Flowers,
Rebecca aka Journey
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I want to mention that your poetry is awesome. Very moving! I could write more, but I just want to say what helped me overcome a lot of my anxieties and fears is my husband, faith in God, & I believe Franklin D. Roosevelt said something oh so long ago, before your time, & I was a baby...."There is nothing to fear but fear itself."
That said never give up on getting over your fears so you can have the medical help currently available. Faith is very moving, and I can see by your writing you have that. If you want support Jland will give it to you, this I know. Merry -
Hi Rebecca,
Just popped over from Guido's journal. Welcome to JLand.
I don't personally have a journal, but do comment in a few
Awwwww i love the story of how you met your husband..... a true love story :o))
I am sorry to hear about your health problems , i too suffer from agorophobia, claustrophobia, panic attacks,arthritis etc etc.....so going out is almost a no no....., but hey i am still breathing and i know there are a lot more people out there worse off than me.
Kepping you in my thoughts and prayers. Take care
Hugs Jayne -
Welcome to J-Land Rebecca. My name is Dana and I came here by Guido. I also have several medical problems and was just diagnosed with fibro in Feb. Still working to get my pain under control, etc. I've put you on alerts and will be back. We have alot in common. Stop by anytime.
Hugs,
D
http://journals.aol.com/heavenlybama/journey-to-success
http://journals.aol.com/heavenlybama/my-photo-lounge -
Welcome to J-Land. You did a great job introducing yourself to all of us. I know you are going to enjoy getting to know many people here, and will find a lot of interesting and upbuilding journals. I look forward to getting to know you better.
Lori
http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages/
4/30/08 11:45 AM
Love,
Michelle