In The Shadow Of The Iris

       I've had mixed feelings about this online journal now for some time. In the world of someone like me who always seems to find a need to know "purpose" it was only natural for me to rehash these thoughts back and forth until I came to a conclusion.
       I was meandering as I do, mostly as a lurker, though the comment board yesterday and came across an interesting "argument" between regulars pertaining to basically the "reason" for our public journals.
       I know his comments can be somewhat controversial and public opinion is varied down the line much like political parties, but Plittle, Paul,  Aurora Walking Vacation made an interesting comment that seemed to strike a resounding cord with me. His comment was > I am under no illusions that I'll ever be chosen as an editor's pick. I'm not going to lie and say that I write my journal for me. I write my journal for an audience. If I thought no-one was reading it, I would stop. I would love to be featured, but the content of my journal is irrelevant. I don't fit the profile.
         The reasons for his comment and the argument behind it is completely irrelevant here in my journal. My reason for bringing that into my journal was Paul's comments honesty and simplicity. I too find an interesting and fascinating link to having "an audience" as he put it, hearing peoples opinions, thoughts, reading others journals, no one can deny comments are fun, helpful, heartwarming encouraging, etc., etc 

 "Audience" the word obviously could be taken in two directions. So to clarify I'm not pompously pounding my chest, for clarification, sharing with others is the ulitimate goal here. Writer to reader, reader back to writer, thoughts and idea's, interaction fromso many walks of life. Without a public forum it would be nothing more then writing in my regular journals.

...........show me another environment where you can say anything you damn well want and no one can stop you, correct you, belittle you, or demean your thoughts. It's a priceless corridor.
        If I didn't on the level agree with Paul, I would have a private journal. It can be elevated to mean so much more and I won't take that element out, but if you take it apart, reduce it to simplicity, it's knowing your interacting with others on every sort of level and that is the part I find utterly compelling.
       Now with all that being said, I truly started this with the intention of defining what I want to accomplish with my journal. I've changed my description to fit my personal desires. Before I started this entry I counted how many handwritten journals I have currently going. 16 to be exact. Each one serving a specific purpose. I've often thought of what would happen to my boxes and boxes of finished journals when someday I pass away. Would they be saved and treasured? Thrown away? Read by generations to come? I don't know, and it's not for me to decide.
       I know that if anyone should start reading them, there is no chronicle order, they are random and would be ineffective in giving someone a timeline of my life. The one man I ever trusted to read my journals, actually the only person ever, said I speak in riddles and ryhyms. He was right. It's random ecclectic thoughts. I think he of all people could appreciate this orderly online journal of mine. It's actually readable!

I can't stand dating things, I can't write on paper with lines that restrict me in anyway. But typing, what a beautiful thing typing is. I don't see lines and don't feel confined. My fingers can type as fast as my mind can think. Plus I can make multiple copies of every entry! Print is another beautiful thing.
       Hence my purpose for this journal. I've decided one of the greatest gifts I could give my daughters is my thoughts and what my life meant. These pages are dated, yet unrestricive to me. At the end of every year I will be able to compile everything I've wrote throughout the year, and bind those copies into a book for them. My legacy, my life, irrelevant to anyone but those who love me. It's the story of me. Archived in a wonderful manner no one could become confused with.
       The bonus to this story? If I am able to spark a thought with readers, find new journals to read via this medium, sort out some of "all this" in my head, help someone in their own life choices with tales of my own life, find myself challenged with new and interesting perspectives and on and on........the possibilities are breathless and endless......................

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• #17 Comment from judypearllove 
  12/20/04 1:09 PM | Permalink

  Hi, You were one of the first to respond to my journal and had very kind words to me. I love all that you have said about journals and why you enjoy them. I to just started reading other peoples journals. I have heard Oprah talk for years about journals and writing down things that you are greatful for so all of this combined made me decide to start mine. I also know that I have lived through a huge tragic experience and been in more pain, fear and anger than many people experience. I also knew there are many people that hve lived through much more than my self. I ask my preacher at one of my lowest points had he ever known of anyone or ever heard of anyone never healing over tragic things in their lives and he told me he had traveled all over the world and into many 3rd world countries and had never knew of one person not healing and finding peace and happiness no matter how tragic things had been to them. I also wanted to tell my story and let as many people as possible know you can heal find happiness and move on. I also was seperated from my husband once for a year and we wrote many letters during that time. His hand writing his thoughts and his soul comes to me through it all now that he has died so that is why I know first hand how much greatness a journal is. Last but not least I to am finding more healing and happiness in writing them and getting responses. I use to go to chat rooms and answer im's but most people on im's only wanted to talk sex and chat room people were so cruel and didn't really have any thing of substance to say. Journals are just fantastic. I love yours and am always following your entries Love Judy  http://journals.aol.com/judypearllove/MomentsofJudyPearl/
• #16 Comment from k2plus2 
  12/13/04 8:41 PM | Permalink

  That was beautiful and concise.  Thanks for putting out your feelings and opinions, that in this arena, we all must share to some degree, naturally.  Cya, Kris
• #15 Comment from dcmeyer420 
  12/13/04 7:28 PM | Permalink

  Wow! Simple yet profound summation of the purpose of keeping a Journal. I particularly like the last two paragraphs. Binding copies of printed Journal entries annually to leave as a legacy is one of the most wonderful idea I've heard in a while. Provoking others' thoughts, meeting people with different perspectives (through their journal entries), and being able to process my concerns/thoughts without  censorship are the reasons why I keep a journal.  You are quite a writer. I wish I can write a long and coherent entry. I usually go from one random thing to another. Keep on writing and I'll keep visiting! http://journals.aol.com/dcmeyer420/DearDiary/
• #14 Comment from babyshark28 
  12/13/04 10:06 AM | Permalink

  I have been reading through your journal, I love it.  your a very honest, down to earth individual, who loves her family and friends.  and you love flyfishing!  scrore!
  I love it too, but I don't know how to do it, I used to watch my grandfather when I was a little girl when we would go camping with them.   I could watch for hours.  it's a beautiful sport :)  but, he died of cancer before I could get him to teach me.
  :(   I have a soft spot for flyfishing, always will.   thanks for your entries, I love how you write!  and yes, thanks for visiting substance or lack of because I now have found you. :)
• #13 Comment from plittle 
  12/13/04 7:48 AM | Permalink

  My comment made you think. Your subsequent examination of your motives has made others think. I like the way that chain plays out. It's almost like that shampoo commercial. I hope those who commented here continue the trend and write about their thoughts for more people to read.
  -Paul
  http://journals.aol.ca/plittle/AuroraWalkingVacation/