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Title
Sunday, April 3, 2005
8:41:00 PM MDT
I have been on mission impossible today. Meaning, catching up with all the journals I haven't visited over the last few weeks. So if you haven't already been comment spammed by me, soon, very soon.............
I was in the process of spamming one of my favorite journals Life, live it or miss out and I came across an entry Tammy wrote a few days ago. She was speaking about us woman, and the sabotage we sometimes <always> do to ourselves.I highly suggest you go visit her journal and see her take on woman and the things we do. She included a comment of mine in her entry that I had left in another entry of hers a while back..........which was as follows.........
"First, I'll say, I love being a mother, it is one of my destinies in life. But it is not something I conclude as my life mission, my last title, my one accomplishment. Being a Mother is just one facet of me. I'm always amazed when I talk to woman who's whole life if their children. I will be brave, face possible ridicule, stand up and say there is more to my life then just being a mother, I shamelessly say this without remorse or guilt. I'm a future thinker. I always think to myself if I do this now, how will it effect my future. Well, the way I see it, a GOOD Mother will teach their children, and someday let them go. Of course we'll always be a part of their lives, but a good Mom, will let go. So I've always thought about that letting go time. If I haven't made something for myself, know myself, attached several facets to myself, what would I be left with? A clinging Mother who doesn't know where to go next? I think NOT." <written by Rebecca>
Now that "I think NOT" sounds kinda harsh to stop with, and in my original comment I continued on with my normal rambling style. That's just where she choose to stop.
I guess why your seeing this here on my page now, is because I do feel pretty strongly about our roles as Mothers, and individuals. I can't help but feel there is more to my life then that of just Mother. I too couldn't wait until theday I had my own babies. I couldn't wait to set up home, nest, and await my little bundles of joy. Although they are 13 and 10 now, I feel just as honored to have them in my life as I did when they were born.
But they are not my only honor in this life. I have many other titles. What I find interesting, is that my daughters know this. I tell them, without guilt, when I need to try something new that doesn't include them. This last summer, I started Mountain Biking. I bought a MP3 player, so I could listen to it as loud as I wanted while bombing down a steep hill. They asked me if they could do it too. Now, this is the part where I assume I could be looked at as selfish, but I told them 3 times a week, this old Mom needed to go alone. So I could breath and stretch my wings. They both said "Ohh ok we understand." And we set up some other times when they could go with me.
The funny thing that became of that, is that anytime they could sense I was getting tense or irritable, they would tease me and ask if it was time for one of my 'personal' rides. They, even as young as they are, could recognize that I too needed things and time for myself.
Sometimes I don't think parents give children enough credit to understand such simple human needs. Just as a child may want to hide in their room for a while uninterrupted, don't you think they too can understand why a parent would need time alone? Just as a parent should respect their childs needs for alone time, I don't think it's inexcusable or unrealistic to expect children to return the same courtesy.
My girls are pretty self reliant. I've taught them to be. I've always told them they are perfectly capable of doing things on their own. They are perfectly capable of patting themselves on the back if they think they did a good job. Any door is open to them if they simply walk through it. I will stand aside and support them, but I firmly believe it's their choice. I'm just the avenue that makes it possible if that's their wishes.
Maybe it's because of the way I've raised them, that I've left that door open to myself to keep exploring and adding different facets to my life. The three of us girls not only walk hand in hand, but we all have different interests and passions. Don't get me wrong, it's a not a free for all around here. They know without a doubt I am their parent and they are my children. A distinct and simple drawn line I've never wavered from.
But I firmly believe as my role of 24/7 Mother will evolve someday, I need to have taken time during these years to find my own happiness that isn't dependent on them. I think that could be such an unfair burden to place on your own child.
Basically, I'm just a firm believer in not standing on one single platform, and waiting around for time to knock me off the fulltime Mom stand. I've discovered there should be no hand in hand guilt with taking time for myself here and there.
Written by justaname4me2 Blog about this entry |
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8:41:00 PM MDT
Title
I was in the process of spamming one of my favorite journals Life, live it or miss out and I came across an entry Tammy wrote a few days ago. She was speaking about us woman, and the sabotage we sometimes <always> do to ourselves.I highly suggest you go visit her journal and see her take on woman and the things we do. She included a comment of mine in her entry that I had left in another entry of hers a while back..........which was as follows.........
"First, I'll say, I love being a mother, it is one of my destinies in life. But it is not something I conclude as my life mission, my last title, my one accomplishment. Being a Mother is just one facet of me. I'm always amazed when I talk to woman who's whole life if their children. I will be brave, face possible ridicule, stand up and say there is more to my life then just being a mother, I shamelessly say this without remorse or guilt. I'm a future thinker. I always think to myself if I do this now, how will it effect my future. Well, the way I see it, a GOOD Mother will teach their children, and someday let them go. Of course we'll always be a part of their lives, but a good Mom, will let go. So I've always thought about that letting go time. If I haven't made something for myself, know myself, attached several facets to myself, what would I be left with? A clinging Mother who doesn't know where to go next? I think NOT." <written by Rebecca>
Now that "I think NOT" sounds kinda harsh to stop with, and in my original comment I continued on with my normal rambling style. That's just where she choose to stop.
I guess why your seeing this here on my page now, is because I do feel pretty strongly about our roles as Mothers, and individuals. I can't help but feel there is more to my life then that of just Mother. I too couldn't wait until theday I had my own babies. I couldn't wait to set up home, nest, and await my little bundles of joy. Although they are 13 and 10 now, I feel just as honored to have them in my life as I did when they were born.
But they are not my only honor in this life. I have many other titles. What I find interesting, is that my daughters know this. I tell them, without guilt, when I need to try something new that doesn't include them. This last summer, I started Mountain Biking. I bought a MP3 player, so I could listen to it as loud as I wanted while bombing down a steep hill. They asked me if they could do it too. Now, this is the part where I assume I could be looked at as selfish, but I told them 3 times a week, this old Mom needed to go alone. So I could breath and stretch my wings. They both said "Ohh ok we understand." And we set up some other times when they could go with me.
The funny thing that became of that, is that anytime they could sense I was getting tense or irritable, they would tease me and ask if it was time for one of my 'personal' rides. They, even as young as they are, could recognize that I too needed things and time for myself.
Sometimes I don't think parents give children enough credit to understand such simple human needs. Just as a child may want to hide in their room for a while uninterrupted, don't you think they too can understand why a parent would need time alone? Just as a parent should respect their childs needs for alone time, I don't think it's inexcusable or unrealistic to expect children to return the same courtesy.
My girls are pretty self reliant. I've taught them to be. I've always told them they are perfectly capable of doing things on their own. They are perfectly capable of patting themselves on the back if they think they did a good job. Any door is open to them if they simply walk through it. I will stand aside and support them, but I firmly believe it's their choice. I'm just the avenue that makes it possible if that's their wishes.
Maybe it's because of the way I've raised them, that I've left that door open to myself to keep exploring and adding different facets to my life. The three of us girls not only walk hand in hand, but we all have different interests and passions. Don't get me wrong, it's a not a free for all around here. They know without a doubt I am their parent and they are my children. A distinct and simple drawn line I've never wavered from.
But I firmly believe as my role of 24/7 Mother will evolve someday, I need to have taken time during these years to find my own happiness that isn't dependent on them. I think that could be such an unfair burden to place on your own child.
Basically, I'm just a firm believer in not standing on one single platform, and waiting around for time to knock me off the fulltime Mom stand. I've discovered there should be no hand in hand guilt with taking time for myself here and there.
Written by justaname4me2 Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | digg this
This entry has 20 comments: (Add your own)
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not a Mother, but its plain to see you've got it down....What a wonderful Entry! Alot of my fears of Motherhood are that i wont be able to have my "OWN" moments in life.......and reading this assures me that You dont have to just be a MOM to be a Great one, You can be a number of things and be a Great Mom too....Thanks for the inspiration and sharing this....wonderfully put...D
http://journals.aol.com/ldebbiedeb7/askthemuse -
Being a mom is a 24/7 job. I believe all mom's should somehow find a way to make time for themselves, to expand themselves in their own dreams and wishes. Sometimes for just plain sanity! lol Great entry!
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I hate it whenI hear people say"oh,how sad it is they have to grow up" how sad would it be if they didnt? My daughter is 24 & I joyfully stopped being a mother figure & started being her friend! We are so much closer than I am with my mom who asks me "Are there any grownups going along?" when i take my girl scouts camping! LOL! I am 48! a teacher! I just might qualify as a grown-up!
Marti
http://journals.aol.com/sunnyside46/MidlifeMusings
4/5/05 6:56 PM