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11:17:00 AM MST
To All Those Who Have Started Over
To Create: The art of simply writing: Honesty. Sometimes without regard to those who could benefit, or to those who could be hurt. Thats the problem with writing. Thats the problem with the written word, being a relic, being concrete, tis neither black or white. It is what it is. To be dissected, analyzed, interpeted. Taken out of context, or to be understood or misunderstood. Delete at the touch of a button, or a burning party. How many of us have participated in a burning party? I just participated in one a week ago. The perfect ending to horrible story. Barbara was able to burn all the lies, letters, substance that was part of her married life. Each letter that represented a "reason" why he had hit her, why he had abused her. Laughter even ensued when we piled so many things into the little fire pot and the wind picked up and suddenly we had fires all over the place. All the concrete reminders gone, reduced as they should to ashes. But the memories, no way to delete those, no way to burn those away. A lifetime of memories to be discussed, looked at, reflected upon. No hiding from them. No delete button there. All there inside my head where the walls are black and the roof is red. Music. Have you ever had song you can listen to over and over, relate too, listen too, reflect too?
AOL Music: Coldplay: 'Clocks' (In-Studio)
Confusion that never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks........................
Cursed missed opportunities......................................................................
I guess I've found myself in a "middle of the ground" area. A crossroads of sorts. Not sure which path to follow. Which direction would have the least regret. Sometimes the safety in standing still is a humble motion. Also a cowardly motion. So for now, I'll just keep writing. Discovering, exploring and avoid that delete button.
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I decided to come and read your first post. Dorn had her Three year anniversary with her blog, and she had hers linked to her most recent post.
I'm sure if we all could burn memories, we'd all have at least one that we would incinerate.
You know, I wish I was around when AOL Journals first launched. -
HI... my name's Diane... I've decided to read your journal entries from start to present, if you don't mind... I learned about your journal from Monae's latest "Dear Diary" journal entries... she mentions lots of other people's journals from time to time, but none that I've ever felt compelled to visit on a regular basis... But to start reading your latest entries without reading all of your past ones, makes me feel like I'm jumping into a book in the middle of it, and that just full on bothers me... so, I'm starting from scratch, or close to ;O) ... I'll be leaving you some responses from time to time, if you don't mind, and I realize that these early entries were written like 2 1/2 years ago and may not necessarily apply to your present day thoughts and feelings... but I'd like to address them nonetheless. If you don't want me to read them, or respond to them, you can let me know by emailing me at loststream@yahoo.com ... to tell me to "shutty-shutty - it" anytime! ... Since, I only have limited computer time access lately, it may take me a few days, or weeks, to get to your present day entries... Nevertheless, I'm embarking on this journal journey of yours with excitement, anticipation, and lots of curiousity :o)
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An interesting post, and even more interesting comments. Great start!
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8/12/07 8:27 AM
Thanks so much for visiting and leaving a comment for me. It is such a thrill for me. I have a private journal, but never had the nerve to start a public one. I read Carpe Diem and Dawn encouraged me to give it a try. I love writing, struggle to be honest with even myself, but keep trying. The truth lives deep within and is never forgotten, just ignored. The memories my soul cries out to burn, helped create the person I have become. They do need to be brought out and examined from time to time to help keep my life in perspective and on the right track. I find that I am constantly at that crossroad, trying to decide which path to take. So far, so good, regrets? Yes. Learning experiences all.
I'd like to read forward from here, although it'll be awhile, I find myself needing to get those pesky details (moving mainly) out of the way first.
Leigh