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Wednesday, July 23, 2008
8:40:38 PM EDT
Feeling Grateful
mixed bag
For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
today was a mixed day from sad to joy to joy i learned first thing this morn that someone i knew at church took her life a couple days ago deep empathy my friend i know you are at peace now and on to a better life now i know not the circumstances surrounding all this, but i had only spoken with her last week much anguish i feel but i must remember life goes on despite our departure the sun still rises, children continue to play, the wind blows endlessly and we press on with our living you are loved my friend you are already missed....
alas after lunch, i strode over to the Coronado mall, the other mall that i didn't work in, but sits closer to me in proximity to my hovel there a woman grabbed my hand and persisted on pampering me a bit this skin care stand are those also from Israel she knows Rafeal, the young man who i worked next to me at the mall (Cottonwood Mall) she told me he's coming back in October right now he's at the University going to school, if i understood her english correctly a bright spot in my day to know how he is doing AND that he's returing here in ABQ in October i'll be ecstatic to see him i think of him often although we have not been in touch since he left last January i just came across his pic on my desk a few days ago i'm anxious for his return...
then i was off to REI (Recreational Equipment Inc.) it's a big outdoor outlet out here in the west at least i went window shoppin' for a new backpack, hiking boots, stove and other stuff for our Grand Canyon trip i'll be shopping there soon for new boots, then the other supplies laterz well the good news is the sales rep i spoke to happens to do the Grand Canyon trail we're going on at least twice a year he gave me sum great info on the trails and which one was shorter in distance to the bottom in addition he reminded today that there's another camp ground on the way back out of the canyon in which we could split the hike out in two (i just learned about it yesterday) sooooo....i called the Grand Canyon info office and see if we could switch our permit for the second night he also told me more about the two trails down into the canyon i sent an email to George my hiking buddy who's going with me and i also left him a message on his phone i really like the idea of breaking the hike out in two we're just starting to get back into conditioning for the adventure since this is our first trip down, it may be better to split the trail but there are other trails to hike while we're actually in the canyon for a day so right now i'm anxiously waiting for george to call me
Life is so fragile sometimes one's passing is a reminder to appreciate the moment right NOW....God bless!
Written by karebear4x4
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12:30:36 AM EDT
Feeling Chillin'
last nite
Revenge of Efe-by jevigar
so....tonite was the last nite workin' at the mall i said my good-byes, but will see them again no love lost happy to move on although it was the boss' attitudes as to why i left, it still don't feel good when one thinks ill of you for no good reason but alas, i'm out of there now at a place i feel welcomed and appreciated Life is about Change, but sometimes i like a stabilizer so the new job will be the staple come september there will be school and maybe another class at church if i don't take the class at church, i'm gettin' back to my guitar lessons once and for all thought maybe it'd be better in the fall to start the lessons since spring time i get so antsy with the warm weather coming anew fall is the time to settle in for the winter cozy up to a fire and a book this time i'll cozy up to the guitar if i so choose...but for now the most immediate adventure is back to conditioning for my Grand Canyon hike the national park sent me a video on how to prepare for the trek most i knew, but did pick up a few tidbits that will be helpful for our trip tomorrow i'll begin hiking again the Cibola National Forest is back open again it's been closed almost the entire month of july due to fire danger but with plenty of rain for the past couple weeks, i now can venture on the trails again i also borrowed a friend's bicycle and i'll begin on it tomorrow to build hopefully my knees as well as my cardio i'm also intent on losing some weight before November rolls around i'll shoot for 10lbs and be happy with that may take awhile longer for the 20lbs i gained over the last 2 1/2 yrs since retiring from the p.o. i had no idea i kept soooo much weight off while i was walking 10mi a day or more delivering the mail i can lose that weight again it may take longer, but i'll get there once the Grand Canyon trip is over, i'll buy my own mountain bike to stay in shape during the winter months when trails are muddy ilove to exercise anyways just been resting my body since retiring...lol anyways, Life is Good...which reminds me, i have one of those Life is Good t-shirts on the way and it has a jeep on it anyways, i'm finally ready for more down time again and gettin' into shape all month i've been working both jobs which has minimized leisure time the pace has been good, but not sure i can keep it up besides, my doc wood prefer i only work about 15hrs a week i'll be back to that after this week anyways, i'm chillin now i get tomorrow off looking forward to the play time like these dogs in the above photo and soon, i'll be off taking my own photos again in the meantime, i'm headed over to the church tomorrow to set up the selling of my note kards from my photos i'm anxious to see how they sell, although i don't expect much until september/october sometime when everyone starts going to church again right now it's summer time and as usual attendance is low Change is in the air, and it's all good!
Written by karebear4x4
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Sunday, July 20, 2008
1:19:35 AM EDT
Feeling Cynical
dark places...
 so, it's 11pm saturday nite day after a full moon i haven't been home long from the new job..soon it'll be just the job....i screwed up the count on the register tonite, but right now i don't care lesson learned it would have been better to have waited for the graveyard person, but i was anxious to leave and she was late thinking the other new woman knew how to close out the "bank", i started the process and did it wrong o well, will get it right the next time it was only my second time on the "bank" register one covers the vault and i was on it tonite anyways, the assistant manager will straighten out the paper work in the morn, or so i was told i just don't like doing that i like to know how to do it and do it right o well, i'll call Jess the assistant tomorrow or wait til i work with her again on wednesday nite i've learned that there's no going home early on the afternoon shift the graveyard people come in at the last minute or late gotta get used to it i've been spoiled by the mall and leaving on time, all the time not at the new job o well, life goes on.....
anyways, so i came home and have been winding down on the computer went thru the deviantart website and found the above photo it's called Dark Places by *gmesh anyways, i was expecting tonite at work to be busy as hell, but totally the opposite there was a thunderstorm this afternoon and i guess it scared everyone away lightening struck twice near the store and all electrical went out both times that was the highlight of the shift really gray clouds remained for the rest of the day and the above photo best depicts how i feel at the moment but alas, feelings are only temporary and this too will pass it's all an adventure for more growth and expansion whether we want it or not actually down deep i feel pretty good, there's just this dreary feeling lingering after today's weather...think i'll have a bowl of cereal and see if i can get to sleep if not, maybe there's something on tv for awhile i had a Monster Energy drink at work this evening last time i did that, i was awake for quite awhile but tomorrow i don't have to be anywhere, so i can sleep as late as need be...until another day...
Written by karebear4x4
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Friday, July 18, 2008
9:52:20 PM EDT
Feeling Confused
5.8 tons!!!!
OMG!!! 5.8 tons of cocaine! horrific...did u read the story on this Mexicans capturing a submarine carrying this much cocaine that's a hell of a lot of coke and i know there's probably that much more elsewhere...no wonder i don't read the news much among other things...
in the meantime, i'm chillin' at home tonite of course after a day of running around on my day off well sorta i did sleep in late on purpose then i worked a couple hours at Jen's office (did i mention i started workin for her a few hours a week) anyways, after that George and I went to lunch we were tryin' to get a road trip in on our bikes well after lunch we decided to try the bike ride anyways, originally plans were to ride up to MADrid, but there were rain clouds on the mountains MADrid is behind the mountains..anyways, so we had to stop at a friend's of his first and by the time we got there, other rain came in from the north (the mtns set east of here) well we cancelled the ride and i made it home JUST in time to switch to my jeep where are streets were flooded after another quick short trip to Jen's office, i went to the mall and also to Sam's club to pick up photos finally at home and it was 7pm i'm chillin the rest of the evening gotta work tomorrow 2-10pm at the new job one more week of workin both jobs and i'm done with that adventure i'm not missing the old job already my transition is almost complete...
Written by karebear4x4
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Thursday, July 17, 2008
1:22:09 AM EDT
tranquil
 .... it's late wednesday nite minutes away from midnight i sit unwinding from the day and a nite at work it was an interesting nite i'd forgotten about the characters we have in life characters of people who walk thru the door at the store interesting...even one employee is a character i learned tonite...but alas so is the true diversity we live with after working elsewhere for so long..the p.o., the mall, church, etc...nice places where i haven't run into so many characters goodness, the new job brings it all back and tonite was only wednesday, a slower night this saturday will be my first weekend night only to be filling in for someone going on vacation and next weekend too it'll be busier and more characters will come out of the woodworks on the weekends it'll be interesting...the homeless guy came in twice tonite i refused a sale of liquor to him first, then hours later, my co-worker who is also assistant manager, refused a sale to him also i think there was someone at the store who wood sell to him regardless of him reaking of alcohol here in NM there is an over serving law anyways, that someone is no longer working at our store, she transferred to another store...but there were more characters tonite so maybe i'll go back to a nicer place to work at the moment there's a possibility i'll be hired by someone else at the mall WHEN that'll happen remains to be seen i shouldn't complain for having it so easy at the mall, in comparison, the mall is a piece of cake Life, sometimes you don't know how good you have it until it's gone...the new job isn't too bad, just dealing with more characters....lol
Written by karebear4x4
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Sunday, July 13, 2008
8:19:36 PM EDT
wild horses!
this is from David Cramer's Photography, http://www.davidcramer.com/blog/?cat=25, he is the local photographer whose website i stumbled upon while searchin' for Bosque del Apache website he has sum wonderful photos there this particular photo i chose to talk about a PBS show i saw last nite it was about wild mustangs up in Colorado they were beautiful the story followed a horse the filmmaker called Cloud from his birth til 5yrs later it was a beautiful film but with sum harsh realities in it thunderstorms & lightnening killing sum horses but what was shocking to me and the filmmaker was the killing of a foal within hours after its birth it couldnt get up and walk no matter how often it tried it couldn't go anywhere so do they let it die a slow death, or kill it as it did i think it was the lead stallion that killed it harsh realities like these are sometimes why i steer away from nature shows but then again i compared it to our harsh realities we live in harsh realities ourselves and it truly is the survival of the fittest we have violence, hunger and war to deal with in our lives besides the power of nature's wrath at times but i reminded myself that death is only of the body the Spirit always lives, never dies the flesh returns to the earth as the Spirit of the animal, or man, moves on to another life this Life is truly an adventure not to be lived in fear i've been reminded lately from friends and my doctor about whether my new job is safe maybe it's not as safe as other places, but i still feel it's as safe as anywhere else in life this body of mine could be hushed thru other means, at anytime i desire to live with NO FEAR!!! i believe in facing one's fears and mastering all fears although i fear at times still death, i will live my life fully one day it will be a no thing and i'll know i am forever..
Written by karebear4x4
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Saturday, July 12, 2008
7:27:26 PM EDT
dreamin'
O to be sittin atop this mountain at this time peace, serentity and a cool summer breeze upon my face ...maybe next month....this photo reminds me of sum Colorado mountains i 4wheeled years back i have yet to get back there, but there'll come a day hmmm, maybe first thing next spring but for now i'll take this photo to take me there and since we have cooler weather here now, it only takes a moment...
Written by karebear4x4
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8:49:14 AM EDT
 yeah, i could use a hug today...
Written by karebear4x4
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Friday, July 11, 2008
11:04:03 PM EDT
Feeling Adventurous
supercuts & Shamu!
 ok, so i'm experimenting i just figured out how to move the pic from the left hand side of the page....duh!....lol anyways, the next step will be to figure out how to type down the sides of the photos......anyways, so yesterday i cut my hair again although i recently posted pics of me growin' my hair, i couldn't take it any longer just not ready for that long hair don't know why i torment myself...well maybe i do...but i love my short hair i did cut it a bit different style this time, leaving some fullness on top although i love buzzin' it around the ears and back may have to go back to that so anyways, while cutting my hair, my hairdresser Carmen was telling me there's a Sea World in San Antonio, TX AND it's only 10hrs away from here hey that's a nice bike ride down there i want to see Shamu again fell in love with him/her when we went two years ago in florida this time i won't sit so close as to get drenched and i can take pics of Shamu this time didn't want my photograhpy equipment gettin ruined so anyways, found the above photo in deviantart page now i MUST go asap maybe next spring as a conditioner for my long road trip to Washington state i've got it on my agenda for sure besides i'd like to see the Riverwalk again in San Antonio haven't been there in over 30yrs since i did basic training at Lackland AFB...what an adventure it wood be!
Written by karebear4x4
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11:50:42 AM EDT
Feeling Grateful
it's mornin..
To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society. I am not solitary whilst I read and write, though nobody is with me. But if a man would be alone, let him look at the stars. The rays that come from those heavenly worlds, will separate between him and what he touches. One might think the atmosphere was made transparent with this design, to give man, in the heavenly bodies, the perpetual presence of the sublime. Seen in the streets of cities, how great they are! If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile.  ....it's a gloomy day but if it rains it will be good though the clouds have hovered many a time, no drops have yet to fall but it's keepin' it cool around here below the 90s in temp with a summer breeze for of fresh air ...alas i had my first official day of work yesterday that wasn't training i ended up workin' 9hrs the sting operations were out and the big boss didn't want me left alone at the counter no problem by me but that meant we stocked the cooler past my quitting time i must remember a hoodie sweatshirt for that task for i always freeze my tusch off since there were two of us it didn't take but an hour alas out to thaw out in the warm air as i was packin' my bag on the bike, a guy with a harley started conversation he gave me a good education on the new harleys maybe i won't get a harley davidson, for i did find another Kawasaki bike which is a cruiser it's big and powerful but i need to know for sure i can maneuver it with my feet i think i should go with a cruiser 4 the next bike cuz i'm not gettin' any younger we'll see it's still a few years away the right time will come for my new bike in the meantime, my lil crotch rocket is just perfect the only probably i have is when it's windy as hell around here but i just learned yesterday that the crotch rockets get blown around more because of the fairings on it now i know....the music plays it's goin' 2 B a good day!
Written by karebear4x4
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