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Subject: Battle of the Blogs (BOTB) Grief
Time: 5:37:00 PM EDT
Author: kheadenmd
Mood: Quiet
Music: Taps
Lately I've tested my blog more frequently on Battle of the Blogs at the Blog Explosion Website.
I win about one out of ten battles. I thought it might help me improve my writing skills and get in better touch with the main stream. In my youth I was always an intense competitor but over the years I've tried to learn to not be that way. I know that being a gracious loser is more virtuous than being an arrogant winner in any event.
What makes losing so unpleasant is that there is no immediate reward to losing in anything. It tends to activate our well known grief reaction to loss.
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First there is the SHOCK "I can't believe that blog about nothing important beat me!" In this milieu shock may last a few seconds or it may linger for hours in some.
Then there's the DENIAL "Something must be wrong with the system, maybe the voters are retarded. Maybe they didn't read my words or get my true message." Denial is what drives most of us losers to keep trying instead of just accepting that we won't do well here.
Next comes the ANGER "Fukum! I'm not playing anymore. I'll show them! I may just write the administrators and see if they'll modify the rules."
This is often followed by GUILT, DOUBT, and RATIONALIZATION "Maybe my blog really does suck. Maybe those voting are just judging the layout and graphics but what I have to say really doesn't matter. Or maybe it bores or depresses people. I know these AOL fonts and layouts are archaic and dull but I thought people wouldn't be that shallow."
Finally, one with a repetitively losing blog on BOTB enters the stage of ACCEPTANCE, ...or becomes Chris Hamburger and makes an art out of losing the most battles while at the same time having the highest total victories. Chris may be the only one who most completely gets what its all about. He expresses himself to the fullest, love it or leave it. He is King of total battles fought, won, and lost. And it seems he could give a rats butt what anyone else thinks. He is doing his thing. Go Hamburger!
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Nobody likes losing, but losing is a relative matter. I don't even want a vote from anyone who isn't sincere about it. If I get just one vote from a reader who really gave a bit of thought and appreciation for what I wrote that day I feel like I have won something. If just one voter decides that my journal is worth 5 minutes of their time, my mission is accomplished. I don't try to push my book but I am proud of it. My purpose was not to make any money but to teach others about the mental health field in a personal but entertaining manner. If I sell one book a month I am pleased.
BOTB is helping me to learn to lose with grace and not feel bitter. I will not pursue the secret to winning the most battles because I am pleased with my style and content. I understand that my blog is not for everybody. The great thing about the Internet is that there is probably a perfect forum for any topic. The final stage of grief is acceptance. I think I can accept that.
Written by kheadenmd Blog about this entry |
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I enjoy losing quite a bit. I don't really care if I win or lose, I just like to see how fed up people get at someone like me saying things I don't even mean and watching everyone get fired up. It's very therapeutic.
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Hello,
I am usually a lurker, But I for one really enjoy your blog and want to say please keep blogging. I look foward to each post and think you should blog more. lol I know it can be a pain but it sounds like you enjoy posting also!
Thanks again and keep up the awesome work!!
PS I would vote for you!
Jamie -
I voted for you, so cheer up!
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I accepted your blog challenge before reading your blog.
After I read it, I expected to lose because of the sympathy vote. I would have voted for you, myself.
Anyway, keep up with your blog as long as you enjoy it.
Cheers,
Michael
http://parosparadise.blogspot.com
5/15/07 6:58 PM