Lushfactor.com

12:14:24 PM EDT

Today is a day to be mourning. It really is. It has nothing to do with the 107th anniversary of the first Davis Cup tennis tournament played(seriously, is there a more worthless pro sports tournament?).

Last night Barry Bonds broke the all-time home run record*. We all knew it was coming, it was just a matter of when. I could sit here and tell you about the sickening facts that he hit more homers in his 40's then Roger Maris did in his career. How he came into his late 30's trailing Aaron by around 400 HRs and somehow, when most retire or decline, he played his best. How he hit 169 HRs in his first 7 years, around 24 a year. No, we all know that.

 

There is no single person I loathe more that that pile of monkey shit. I hate him enough not to mention him by his name anymore throughout this post.

Steroids are the reason most people can't stand d-bag, but for me I have a bigger problem with who he is as a person. This prick is the same one who has fought with teammates (cue Jeff Kent), he's also the JO who has his own TV and recliner facing in his locker and will not let anyone use it. He's a selfish recluse who has hidden himself from the fans and media and all the controversy that has surrounded him.

I missed the HR last night. When I woke up this morning and saw the Sportscenter show rundown on the right I felt like vomiting. I was equally as sick when Hank Aaron sent him a message, knowing that dildo record breaker is also dildo rule breaker.

I take solace in the fact that within 10 years I'll be happier then a pig in shit. In 10 years, baseball will actually be cheering on ARod has he breaks dickheads record*. I have encountered Red Sox fans, O's fans, Yankee haters and ARod haters who have all openly said they are cheering ARod on to break the new record*.

He won't have to sit games at visting parks because the record will be boo'd. Home or away, people will respect someone who actually worked to make history, not some schlep who took cycle's of roids(evidenced by enourmous head growth, body growth, etc.).

 

So for now, let's hold a moment of silence for Hank Aaron's record, the real record, but let's break that silence and start talking about Arod holding that record respectfully. Until that happens though, I'll be in a state of mourning.

 7-8 years until that says 800

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5:42:15 PM EDT
Hearing Black Moon
Just an update to anyone who still reads this (aka, my sister). We have just relaunched our new site here at HSN.com and the madness is finally starting to calm down. Next week I plan to start regularly blogging again, well unless I am too drunk, tired, lazy or all 3. There's actually a good possibility that this blog will never have another word written in it. Woo hoo! See ya next week.

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2:25:36 PM EDT

Wow. My last post date was March 29th. Let's see, at that time I was living with my girlfriend in our townhome in a DC suburb (think Tom Hanks movie, minus the creepy neighbors), I was working nights, weekends and holidays for AOL (it's sports, it's what you expect.).

Let's forward to July 12th. I'm living in an apartment with my fiancee (same chick), looking for our first house, in Tampa Florida. I am working a 9-5 M-F schedule at HSN.com and life is pretty glorious at this point. So a lot has changed and I was out of the blogging game even more than I ever was, but bear with me as I get back into it.

Why am I getting back into it? Honestly, I love writing about sports, whether it be in a joking, angry, or serious fashion. My beloved Yankees are on par with my new city's team, the Bears are primed to bring home a Super Bowl title, ll get to see Chris Simms lose a kidney this season, my fantasy baseball teams are rolling (the $ league ones) and hell, football is around the corner. This is a sports fan's time of year.

Now, I'll quietly go back to my job, being a hand model, and I'll be back soon.. stay tuned.

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1:30:00 PM EDT

It's quite sad how little I have posted to this blog over the past 2 months. Life has been crazy. Work has been hectic and March Madness has given me no reprieve. Plain and simple, the Digital Plantation and some other things have been keeping me down. However, not for long.

It's baseball season. Life seems to pep up for me and the rest of the country around this time. The weather is warmer, Opening Day is around the corner and most importantly, girls are wearing skimpier outfits everyday. What's not to love?!?!

Here at AOL, myself and a co-worker, the Prez, have been put in charge of the 2007 season preview. We're working feverishly to have it ready and it will be available to the mass public on Friday. It includes predictions from a 5-man panel, top storylines, prospect watch and some other goodies. Here are my predictions for the season as an early sneak peak to what we're cookin up:

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10:01:28 PM EST
Hearing Gym Class Heroes

I haven't posted to this blog in over a week. I couldn't. I have been in mourning over the death of good. The death of what is right in America. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating, but I took the Bears' loss in Super Bowl XLI pretty hard. Seriously ...

I would much rather have spent a evening with this herpes infested duo then have to see crap like this ever again:

This makes me want to vomit more somehow.

After 4 beers in about 30 minutes, a Devin Hester returned kick, and a Manning pick and I was on cloud 9. The it all came crashing down. Rex Grossman, who I had supported all season, quickly became the anti-Christ.

I had about 15 friends over for the game, and they left promptly when the game ended. They knew I wasn't too happy at all. But that's all in the past. The game is over, the NFL Draft is coming closer and their are high hopes for next season.

And yes, I still think Rex should be starting next season, not someone else. He was basically a rookie. He is 26. The line will get some help via the draft and Sexual Rex can take some time to get over his numerous mistakes and concentrate on a big year in 2007. As long as he can cut down on those damn turnovers, then there is no reason that the Bears can't be in Phoenix next season.

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9:30:54 PM EST

Guy Lafleur,  a Hall of Fame NHL player, tore up the ice in his hey day. He won MVP awards, player of the year awards, Stanley Cup MVP and most goals in a season in 1978. Canadians loved him (f'ing Canucks!, they love some hockey and Molson). So how the hell did he son get so messed up? Not his fault, apparently.

Guy used to play this sport ... I'm not sure it still exists.

Mark Lafleur, 22, was just arrested and kept in custody for sexual assault, assault with a weapon, uttering threats and false imprisonment. First of all, what the hell is "uttering threats?" Some Canadian charge, they always have to try and do things different to seem like they aren't America's bitch.. Here's the kicker on ol' Mark. He has tourettes. Oh, now you feel bad for him?

I am no expert on tourettes. Hell, I don't even know anyone who has the disease (aside from some dude I work with who is suspect-- though not confirmed). I have seen Deuce Bigalow and the MTV True Life: I Have Tourettes. It seems pretty terrible.

What I don't understand is how tourettes makes you sexually or physically assault someone. The "uttering" of threats I can see. But I checked a tourettes site and see nothing about violence. I'm calling fraud on this chump and say toss his ass in jail! Now please don't leave me comments saying I'm a d-bag and hate people with tourettes. If I am wrong, let me know. I am not discriminating against people with tourettes, so relax.

Semi-Related: If you can't tell, I'm trying not to post on the Bears. Aside from being unbelievably busy at work. I don't want to jinx anything. Rex is already pissed at the media and seems to be cracking.under pressure.. Just talking about this makes me nervous. Here's to hoping Monday brings a happy blog about a Bears win. DA BEARS!

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9:56:41 PM EST
Feeling Ecstatic
Hearing Ghetto Revival

I promised a blog last night after the Bears game, whether it was angry or elated, but work got in the way (damn the man) and I was stuck at the digital plantation until 4am... good times indeed. You know what? I didn't care. Last night marked the closest I have come to man tears in easily 5-10 years. The Bears are going to the Super Bowl for the first time in 21 years.

There has been nothing but hate for the whole year on the Bears from some people (Chris and Jamie) and then yesterday, all of the country seemed to be rooting for the Saints. Well the country was disappointed and much to my elation. I was nervous after Reggie Bush's score and borderline psycho at work, screaming at the TV on my desk. But nevertheless, for the first time in my adult life, the Bears are heading to the Super Bowl.

They get the Colts, who shockingly, everyone is pulling for. Oddsmakers have it at 7 and I have the over on the amount of man juice spewed for Peyton Manning these next two weeks at more then Ron Jeremy has dropped in his career.

 No one thought the Bears could be the Saints. They did. Now the Colts are up and I honestly think the Bears should take this game, a close one, but still should win it. I know I'll be sitting in front of my HDTV, with some people over, eating, and getting hammered, alternating my Rex and Urlacher jersey's thinking of how to rub this in everyone's face.

Two down. One to go. GO BEARS!!!

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8:52:21 PM EST
Hearing Duke-Wake Forest

Last year when we were rocking the mic on the now defunct Sports Bloggers Live (check out the year end show and show end actually from 2006... it's hilarious) we had on the man Bill Walton. He was hilarious and I previously didn't like him. After that interview, I loved him. Funny, loud, obnoxious. Those are ways most people describe me... minus funny.

Courtesy of my favorite read on the web, SI Players, comes the questions section with Bill's kid Luke. The Lakers forward talks about weight loss(who cares), his mom(who cares), but more importantly, celeb friends Wilmer Valderrama (d-bag) and Danny Masterson(seems normal). Then he mentions Gilbert "Hibachi" Arenas, a D.C. God, and rightfully so. Tells tales of Gilbert's pranks and being a jokester.

Who doesn't like a man who parties with Hef and the beautiful babies?

So Luke has also take the route of his dad, going from being a complete assmonkey to seemingly easy-going fella. I don't have to toss around hate names for him, even if his hair is one of the NBA's worst.

PS- I have avoided blogging about the Bears for one simple reason. I'm too nervous to. I am working on Sunday, so come win or lose, I likely will be blogging, either happily or very angrily... let's hope happily.

Unrelated: This is the single greatest interview of all-time.. Ali G interviews David Beckham and Posh Spice Thanks to Mr. Irrelevant

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7:42:33 PM EST
Hearing Sugar Bowl Preview

I haven't gotten to mention AOL's ground-breaking movement into Web 2.0 (I can't stand that term) with the Fanhouse. It's a blog community covering (as of now) the NBA, NFL, NCAA Football and NCAA Hoops. It's nothing short of spectacular, which is what we hoped for and expected. Sometimes, some lunacy falls through the cracks.

The NFL MVP race. Pretty much a no-brainer right? Well apparently not. The blogger in charge of keeping the MVP blog might have been high while writing each week. While LaDainian Tomlinson has clearly been the most valuable player in league, the aforementioned blogger must be looking to take the role of Kenny Chesney, because he still thinks Peyton Manning is the MVP.

Possibly Peyton's favorite pic of Kenny.

I have no problem with Manning and Chesney (it's 2007 people, I have gay friends) and I have no problem with Manning either, but no way in hell does Manning deserve to be runner-up, let alone the MVP. Brees should coast in nicely to the No. 2 spot and L.T. should run with the award. All he did was run for over 1800 yards and score 31 touchdowns (and throw 2 more) for the top team in the AFC.

Manning? He had a good year. He threw 31 touchdowns. His team wasn't as good and yes, his defense was terrible. But at that same time, you give some other QB a chance to step in his role with that offense and the numbers would be comparable. Hell, I bet Uncle Rico could toss 31 touchdown to Harrison, Wayne and the boys.

 

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1:01:35 AM EST

Oh, sweet redemption for Rex Grossman. I have been hearing a lot of F Rex! F the Bears, FU! lately especially in comments on this here blog. Now, I am not going to put anyone on blast, but I will direct you to my comment section on a blog post done about Rex one week ago. I am assuming some of those commenters are feeling pretty stupid right about.... now (right Fish?)

Tonight, on national TV, with his job hanging in the balance, Rex came out and produced. He was Sexy Rexy once again. Now, he didn't throw for 500 yards and had a great amount of help from Devin Hester (who people were hating on for being a second-round pic). Rex simply controlled the offense and threw for 200 yards and 2 scores, but most importantly, regained his confidence and the respect and confidence of teammates.

Chicago clinched a first-round bye and the next three games are against teams with nine combined wins. So all the haters out there will get a chance to see Brian Griese play.. in garbage time. For now I will leave you with a lasting image of Sexy Rex getting his party on, probably like he will be tonight, but he will be substituting nitrous balloons for Paris Hilton.. And as always, feel free to leave comments apologizing for hating on the crown prince of the Bears ... well offense at least.

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