Roses rambling

       My previous entry was about my son and how he wanted to be independent

at school.  My daughter had always welcomed, even encouraged, our involvement

in school activities.  She kept us well informed and expected us to participate.  She

would have been disappointed if we had not shared in this part of her life.  Therefore,

she expects her sons to be the same way.  They have been until recently.

          My oldest grandson has just turned 14.  Turned is the correct word.  He

has discovered girls and vice versa .  No longer could his parents expect phone

lines to be free all the time.  No longer did he want their presence at youth meetings,

church and school events.  Needing to distance himself somewhat from them,  he

would prefer his peers to think that he is an orphan.  LOL.  Seriously, he is just

now trying his wings to becoming an adult.  And it hurts.  He wheddled and whined

until he got a cell phone for his birthday.  He did need one to contact parents after

ball practice, etc.  but mainly for text messaging, I am guessing. 

         He has always been an excellent student,  winning awards every year for

academic efforts as well as sports.  We are all very proud of him, and love to

take pictures that reflect his accomplishments, which are many.  Imagine my

daughter's surprise when she found out about this year's awards ceremony

through a friend on the day before it took place.  She called me expressing

her exasperation.   When she had questioned him about the time for the

ceremony,  so that she could get off work to attend,  he had insisted that it

was not necessary for her to come.  He said he would not be getting any

awards this year,  which sent up a red flag,  because he had always got

the Presidents Honor Roll,  along with others.   She was troubled by this,

but gave in and did not attend at his insistence.  Later that day, she found

out that he had received four of the main awards.  He was disapointed

to not get the math award also,  since he had a 99% average. That still

doesn't explain why he did not want her to come.

         I tried to console her with the thought that he is just a typical teen-

ager going through a phase.   Parents have to walk a fine line between

involvement and interference.   I hope she will persevere and not let him

shut her out of this major part of his life.   I assured her that she is one of

the prettiest,  sweetest and smartest of  mothers and if it seems that her son

is embarrassed  of her,  it is only the natural fear that kids have that their

parents will say or do something to draw attention.  Teens, especially boys,

want to blend in with their peers.  I think it of primary importance to be

involved and know about the activities of teenagers without seeming too

authoritarian.  Don't let them bluff you into not participating.  They'll get used

to your presence if you don't make them feel like you think they are not capable

without your interference.  It certainly is a fragile time in their lives when they are

so vulnerable to peer pressure.

         How difficult it is to allow your children to grow up!  You want them to be

confident and dependable,  and every parent must make decisions about how much

freedom their children can handle at this age.   My children's teen years were some of

my happiest memories.   I know they can be heart-rending also.  Thank God I was

spared  the heartaches  some of my friends faced.  My daughter,  I will pray for

God to grant you the wisdom to raise these two grandsons successfully.  I know

how much they are loved .  I have faith in them and in your parenting.  We are

so blessed.  They have both made decisions to invite Christ into their hearts. That

is the main thing.  Now, you and I must prayerfully "LET GO AND LET GOD!"

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• #3 Comment from lv2trnscrb 
  5/14/08 4:11 PM | Permalink

  I'm back in the action following our move and read your entries about boys; they are different, aren't they? the pastor we went to church at last Sunday did an excellent sermon on being a mother especially as the kids grow up; he read something he had gotten from somewhere that young kids tend to be like pups; always following you around, wanting your attention, wanting to please you and when they hit adolescence or teen years, they turn into cats, don't want you around, only see you when they are hungry, so on. facing the empty nest syndrome, I cried through his whole sermon, but it made a lot of sense to me what he said and you really do have to "let go and let God", it just is soooo hard to do
  
  betty
• #2 Comment from luvrte66 
  5/7/08 5:00 PM | Permalink

  I enjoyed both of your entries, Pat. Very sweet!
  
  Beth
  http://journals.aol.com/luvrte66/nutwoodjunction/
• #1 Comment from marainey1 
  5/7/08 12:47 PM | Permalink

  It is always good to keep up with what children (boys or girls) are doing at school.  To see such a turn around may bare checking out??? It is a fine line and one that is difficult sometimes.  Just heard on the radio going home yesterday that 90% of teens appreciate their parents caring and checking on them, but they would never say so.  I breathed a deep sigh of relieve when my youngest graduated from college and got a good job and a deeper sigh when he got married to a very nice girl.  Letting them go isn't easy but necessary. 'On Ya' - ma