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March 2008
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3/25/08
3/19/08
Full Circle
3/6/08
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
10:58:00 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing None
I was sitting here tonight going through my journals. Now that I'll be writing for the paper every week I was looking to see if I had anything I could use as a column or atleast as inspiration. As I sat here rereading thoughts and feelings that are up to four years old I can't help but noticed how life has circled back around. I'm once again at a point in my life where I'm just taking the days one at a time. For a while there I was so wrapped up in everything it was like I gulped life down without much thought. Now I'm taking a breath and biding my time to see where things will go. Once again I've pretty much decided to take a break from relationships. It seems to me I've spent far too much time working to make something come together when the men I dated put little to no work into it themselves. To be honest, I'm not sure I care if I date anyone or get married. All I really want for myself now is to know I can take care of Richie to the best of my abilities. Everything else is just extra. I'm thrilled to be writing and actually to be making something of it. Though it's not a paid column it'll be great exposure for me and in the future it could become something more. I've got a good steady job that at least for now will get me through. I'm still not sure what it is I want to do with myself on a regular basis permenantly but I'll be okay until I sort it out. Richie's doing well in school and tried out for Little League last weekend. Already has a bruise and didn't seem to think much of it. We should know what teams the boys are on by mid week next week since practices can start as early as the first. There will be three practice schedules to juggle, Scouts, Church, Jess' school and work but it'll keep us focused which is something I think we all need. There have been so many ups and downs over the past four years I can't begin to say how nice it'll be to have something to work on, something I can feel like I'm accomplishing (even if it is just keeping Richie out of the emergency room for the season!) In all this time people have come and gone from my life. Some I was sad to see go, others I was relieved to be done with and still others I'm baffled at why they choose to take the roles they do. Seems strange to me to read through all these journals and know that some of the people I mentioned, some of the people who were such regular parts of my life have slipped away. I admit, I'm terrible about staying in touch. I'mnot much of a multitasker unless there's food involved but I do try as often as possible. Luckily there are many people in my life who know and accept that I'm disorganized, scatter brained and forgetful and these wonderful people forgive me for being so quiet sometimes. It's odd to think about all that's happened in the time since I started this journal. There are many people and places that have meant so much to me along the way and I hope the people never forget that I have and always will care deeply for most of them. For those who have brought hurt into my life: I'm praying each and every day that God opens your hearts and makes you into the beautiful creation he has meant you to be. For those who have stuck by me no matter how crazy I've made them: I love you guys and I can't begin to define the amount of joy you each bring to my life. You all are true blessings. As for those who have silently slipped away: I pray that you find the peace you were missing when we knew one another and I thank you for being a part of my life and being there when I needed you. If our paths happen to cross again I hope it is in a pleasant manner and if all we have are our memories I hope they are fond ones. In regards to me: I am still here, pushing forward and trusting God to see me through each and every day. May his light shine on you as it continues to light my path.
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10:58:00 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing None
Full Circle
I was sitting here tonight going through my journals. Now that I'll be writing for the paper every week I was looking to see if I had anything I could use as a column or atleast as inspiration. As I sat here rereading thoughts and feelings that are up to four years old I can't help but noticed how life has circled back around. I'm once again at a point in my life where I'm just taking the days one at a time. For a while there I was so wrapped up in everything it was like I gulped life down without much thought. Now I'm taking a breath and biding my time to see where things will go. Once again I've pretty much decided to take a break from relationships. It seems to me I've spent far too much time working to make something come together when the men I dated put little to no work into it themselves. To be honest, I'm not sure I care if I date anyone or get married. All I really want for myself now is to know I can take care of Richie to the best of my abilities. Everything else is just extra. I'm thrilled to be writing and actually to be making something of it. Though it's not a paid column it'll be great exposure for me and in the future it could become something more. I've got a good steady job that at least for now will get me through. I'm still not sure what it is I want to do with myself on a regular basis permenantly but I'll be okay until I sort it out. Richie's doing well in school and tried out for Little League last weekend. Already has a bruise and didn't seem to think much of it. We should know what teams the boys are on by mid week next week since practices can start as early as the first. There will be three practice schedules to juggle, Scouts, Church, Jess' school and work but it'll keep us focused which is something I think we all need. There have been so many ups and downs over the past four years I can't begin to say how nice it'll be to have something to work on, something I can feel like I'm accomplishing (even if it is just keeping Richie out of the emergency room for the season!) In all this time people have come and gone from my life. Some I was sad to see go, others I was relieved to be done with and still others I'm baffled at why they choose to take the roles they do. Seems strange to me to read through all these journals and know that some of the people I mentioned, some of the people who were such regular parts of my life have slipped away. I admit, I'm terrible about staying in touch. I'mnot much of a multitasker unless there's food involved but I do try as often as possible. Luckily there are many people in my life who know and accept that I'm disorganized, scatter brained and forgetful and these wonderful people forgive me for being so quiet sometimes. It's odd to think about all that's happened in the time since I started this journal. There are many people and places that have meant so much to me along the way and I hope the people never forget that I have and always will care deeply for most of them. For those who have brought hurt into my life: I'm praying each and every day that God opens your hearts and makes you into the beautiful creation he has meant you to be. For those who have stuck by me no matter how crazy I've made them: I love you guys and I can't begin to define the amount of joy you each bring to my life. You all are true blessings. As for those who have silently slipped away: I pray that you find the peace you were missing when we knew one another and I thank you for being a part of my life and being there when I needed you. If our paths happen to cross again I hope it is in a pleasant manner and if all we have are our memories I hope they are fond ones. In regards to me: I am still here, pushing forward and trusting God to see me through each and every day. May his light shine on you as it continues to light my path.
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4/11/08 11:55 AM
And congrats about the writing gig - you should tell me how to land a spot :)
http://journals.aol.com/journ