Archives
Subject: Put Your Masks On First
Time: 8:42:00 PM EDT
Author: lamonique
Mood: Chillin'
I'm chillin, but I'm also a little frustrated because I wanted to write about something else, but I forgot what it was. Hopefully, I'll remember soon. Anyhoo...
HOH Guilt -- the feeling of remorse or responsibility for an oft-imagined crime or offense toward the dependents of a household
My tax status is "Head Of Household," which means that I take care of everyone and everything within my home. Most of my friends hold the same tax status, and I have to say that we all do a great job maintaining our homes and those who live within them. We love our children, make sure they attend quality schools, keep their clothes and noses clean, feed them, enroll them in activities that enhance their God-given abilities, and lavish a ton of attention on them. I know that I'm a good mom. At this moment, the only thing my son lacks is his Batman costume for Halloween (and he'll get that before the end of the month). Why then do I feel horrible when I leave the nail salon with a fresh mani/pedi? Why does one of my girlfriends fret for hours when she goes Venti at Starbucks, and another keeps the receipt of her shopping spree at Payless for a week just in case she "comes to her senses?" HOH guilt. We always feel that we can be doing more for our kids -- the same ones that want for nothing except Halloween costumes. For me, the madness stops right now.
I vow to take myself out on a date at least once a month -- to the movies, the theatre, or dinner at a restaurant where there's a maitre' d, not a hostess. I vow to keep my nails, feet and hair in good condition. I vow to buy the clothes that I know are necessities for my new position at work, and to buy the shoes that match. I vow to buy myself a good pair of tennis shoes so I can start running in the morning, like I've been promising myself for over a year. I promise to take adult vacations so that I will not only get my groove back, but also so that I will never again lose it. I promise to sometimes read books purely for entertainment, and not to understand a writer's style and tone, and not to better understand and discipline my child. I PROMISE to finally make my office into the space that it was meant to be -- a space to create AND retreat -- and stop working at the dining room table.
When a flight prepares for take-off, the flight attendant tells the passengers about the exits and that the seats can be used as flotation devices. He/She also says that should the cabin lose air pressure masks will fall from the ceiling, and if you are traveling with small children or dependents, you should first put on your mask and then put on the mask of the dependents in your care. We take care to remember this during our flight, but we forget it in our lives. We forget that our children have a better chance of surviving and thriving if we take the time to take care of ourselves first. We also forget that our lives are in various stages of flight -- preparing for take-off, speeding up towards the clouds, or cruising at 30,000 feet -- and that our children, at least for 18 years, are along for the ride. We cannot land the plane or postpone the flight because they didn't get something that they probably didn't need anyway. We have to have faith that we are good HOHs and that we packed our carry-ons to the brim with everything that they could possibly need. Then say a prayer, pull out your gum and ipod, give that kid a stick of gum and the complimentary crayons and coloring book, and enjoy your flight.
You paid for it.
Written by lamonique Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | 
digg this
-
Finally an entry from a dearly missed friend. She comes back and gives us one wallop of a punch with a great, well spoken entry at that! I'm very vocal about taking care of oneself. I give great advice and help my readers understand more about themselves. I don't always take my own advice....now why would that be? Because my readers are like my kids, I'm constantly worrying and fussing over them to the point, I forget to take a break and enjoy life myself.
I actually have a couple articles written and waiting for me to find a publishing source for them. Perhaps it's finally time to give myself a break and spend more time doing what I love, thereby sharing that love with even more people. (Hugs) Thanks for the advice. Indigo
http://journals.aol.com/rdautumnsage/ravens-lament/
9/8/07 10:45 AM