Life with Linny

an update on me! and yes, i am home now!!

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 21:39:00 GMT

IIguess you all are wondering whets going on so I will try to tell you. first I want to thank everyone for the great gifts, cards, pictures, letters and words of encouragement. it really helped me ..first let me tell you what happened to me...I will do my best but typing is now hard as I can no longer use my left hand.. so hunting and pecking with one finger on my right hand...

t was June 20, 2005,I was at my computer and my youngest son heard a crash...he ran to check it out and found me on the floor biting my tongue almost off. .he ran to get my daughter and neither knew what to do so they called Bo at work who told them to call 911 and he was on his way home.

the hospital (I do NOT) remember any of this...they found out I had a stroke, heart attack and a blood clot in my brain (a aneurism) that burst. ((I then had to have 2 brain surgeries. the doctors told my family they didn't expect me to live...then while on the operating table (9 hours later) I got a grade 4 bed sore on my left butt cheek.. they were more worried about saving my life then moving me.. (go figure!) so now I have a huge wound on my butt that hurts terrible. I have a nurse who comes 3 days a week to change the dressing on it...the stroke damaged my left side...I have a hard time hearing, and seeing out of my left side now. .and my left arm and leg are very weak...they put me into a self induced coma for 2 weeksafter the brain surgery...

am having lots of memory problems now...and using the computer is a lot harder now for me.. so bear with me...I have to have a cat scan every 3 months now (my dad died from a brain aneurism)...when they were ready to release me from the ICU ward at the hospital they weren't sure where to put me.. they thought about a nursing home but I through a fit and refused. so I was put into a rehab centerI the one thing I worried about the most and still do, is that my best wont be good enough. had physical therapy for 8 hours a day...it sucked and was very hard and I was so lonely. but my wonderful husband came every day for lunch and dinner and the kids came often also. and lots of friends came also to help me pass the loneliness. and I was always on the phone :)

have learned when u have a near death accident like I did you become alot more emotional. that is so true. I love my husband so much. he has been amazing through all of this and takes such good care of me...I can't believe all the problems he and I had a year ago. I have a hard time when he goes to work now...

had my birthday in the hospital. my most memorable for sure...my sister made me a cake and my mom and kids brought me Chinese food and I got great gifts...little did I know this would be the last time I ever saw my mom alive again...she passed away 2 months later. the cancer won the battle. AT the rehab center I had to beg like crazy for them to allow me to go to the funeral. I finally got to go. I miss my mom so terribly. She was too sick to come to the hospital to see me again.. and they wouldn't let me leave to go see her..

This is the last picture taken of my mommy and me and my daughter...a week before my accident and before my hair was shaven off too! (and before my 100 lb weight loss too)

o a word of advice.. Call your mom and let her know how much u love her very often because you never know when it will be too late. while in my coma I had lots of night -mares ..they were so weird..

lso while in the hospital, Bo bought us a new home and the family worked so hard and moved us into it. I love my new home so much. I am so happy to be home with my family and pets and in my new home. My husband is great and We are both so in love once again. He takes such good care of me...my parents would be so proud of him. I was able to return home Thanksgiving. I had 7 therapists coming to the house every day from 7 am-9 pm daily until I said no more. I wanted too enjoy life with my family and my new home.. I was sick of it and very tired. I now do my own therapy at home and am slowly getting better. I still need help but not that much. I use a walker to walk now. and have a wheelchair I have to use rarely. so, I still have a ways to go but each day I do more and more...

hate not being the old me. It has been a huge adjustment for the whole family.. But Bo and the kids are great and I love them all so much. I was approved for medicaid which is state aid and every day they send a girl (her name is Tonia )to help me with things surround the house while Bo works.. she is wonderful and a huge help to me. (she cleans my house and cooks for me) At first I was hesitant to get any help but her and I get along great. the greatest thing is if anything good could of come out of all this. was) I have officially lost 100 lbs. I have so many clothes that fit now. it's so exciting.

remember coming out of the coma and seeing Bo and the kids looking at med asking me if I knew who they were. .I thought to myself, "why the heck wouldn't I know who they were" they were my family that I loved and adored. the doctors weren't sure if I would remember anything. .thank GOD I do...

ur insurance company rents me my air hospital bed monthly because of the big sore on my butt! I can't wait until its healed so we can put our king sized bed back up. i admit I miss sleeping/snuggling with my hubby LOTS! (wink)

hey had to shave my head so now its coming back very curly. .i look like little orphan Linny LOL

alentines day is Bo and my 9th anniversary. I wish I could think of something special to do or give him for all he does for me...

gain thanks everyone for the great love and support.I am trying to read journals again but I have a hard time seeing/reading small fonts.

A special thanks to Debbie for keeping everyone updated. .her and i talked on the phone several times during my recovery time...she's a wonderful friend, I just wish we lived closer!

Linda is in the hosptial

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 20:32:22 GMT

This is Bo, Linda's husband.

She is in the hosptial right now. She has become very sick, she had a massive brain hemmorage a bit over 2 weeks ago.

She will be in intensive care for at least a month or 2 more and then in rehab hosptial for quite a while after that. The doctor wasn't sure if she was going to survive the intial attack of 2 1/2 weeks ago, but she has pulled though.

If you would like to get updates of how linda is going, please go here:

http://www.tivocommunity.com/tivo-vb/showthread.php?t=247360

That is where I have been posting my updates of Linda and how she has been doing.

She won't be doing her BB journal this year, I'm sorry to say.

Happy Memorial Day!

Sat, 28 May 2005 04:31:25 GMT

ach year in the middle of May our town has a huge parade called the Lilac Torchlight Parade. We live less than a 1/4 of a mile from one of the high schools in our town and so each year around parade time that HS's band practices for the parade by going up and down the back streets around the school. It is so fun to go out every morning and sit on my deck and watch the kids march and play their music they will be playing in the parade. I also enjoy watching the cheerleaders and dance team girls. I just wish they would do it more than just that one or two weeks in May!

ou know, I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I almost wish that Bo and I would have never gotten married. I never thought I would feel that way about Bo. He has been my best friend, my lover since we met. Ever since he and I first started talking on AOL I was in love with him. But over the past several months things have gotten so bad. It seems on a daily basis he gets meaner to me. He says things that cut to the core. They break my heart. I am getting so I can't wait for him to go to work. I go to bed earlier than normal just so I don't have to listen to him yapping at me. I don't want to feel this way about him. I do love him. I just wish he would stop being so mean to me all the time. I am wondering if his parents are going to notice the strain there is between us while they are here. There is no way I could ever afford to be alone. I need Bo's salary. It's sad to say but it's the truth since I can't work.

he past several days he has been very mean because he's really stressing about his parents coming. The house isn't in perfect shape. He's worried we aren't going to get it to a spotless condition in time for them to arrive. I don't know what he expects from me. Because of my health the house isn't always as clean as it used to be. I can't help it. But the next few days we are going to be cleaning a lot. We have to shampoo the carpets also. Going to the dump is got to be done also before they arrive.

still haven't gotten to see the new Star Wars movie. Hopefully soon. I just have a hard time with crowds so I have to wait until the lines aren't quite so bad.

Sites of the Week:

Since it is Memorial Day Weekend I decided that I would give
military sites this entry.

This is amazing. It's a sand storm in Iraq. I can't believe how dark it gets and fast. A great video to watch.

This one is also a military video. But it is a fun one. I loved watching this!

Dumb Laws of the Week:

In Delaware it is illegal to show "R" rated movies at drive-in theaters.

In Florida women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

In Georgia no one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.

"THE READERS POLL"

The Last Question I Asked You Was:

I would like to know how many of my readers are
Mom's since it is Mother's Day weekend.
So, are you a Mom or Mom to be?

Yes - 26

No - 4

My Next Question Is:

Have you or will you be going to see the new
Star Wars Movie: Revenge of the Sith?

Yes

No

uesday has always been my Mom's golf day with her lady friends. I told you in my last entry that she was really worried that she won't be able to golf this year because of her surgeries. Well, the good news is...Tuesday she went golfing! She told me that she actually did far better than she thought she would. The only thing she had to do that was different was ride in the cart in between holes rather than walk like she unusually does. I was happy to hear this.

ow the news of my son! Tyler and his girlfriend, Rachel did get back together. I am happy for them. She usually comes over here every day after school with Tyler and then he takes her home on his way to work at 5. Her and I talk a lot of evenings on MSN messenger and she asks me advice. She also volunteered to come over this weekend to help us clean the house for my in-laws arrival on Tuesday! How nice of her!

peaking of my in-laws. They are in Seattle now and will come to Spokane on Tuesday. They have lots of things planned over in Seattle so I am sure they are having a fun time. I was really worried about the weather while they were here because we have been having lots of rain. But mother nature decided to be nice and the past few days we have had some gorgeous sunny days and it's supposed to stay warm for a while. It is almost 85 today and I have the AC on! The only problem with the warm weather and not the rain is that we will have to do lots of things outdoors!

nd speaking of that. My health insurance still hasn't approved my scooter. So, Monday I will have to go and rent a wheel chair to use for all the walking we will do while they are here. That will be far more embarrassing for me but what am I to do? I can barely walk to our mail box without hurting like heck.

ne of the things we hope to do while they are here is to go to that great restaurant we went to last fall. I talked about it in my journal but I am sure I have lots of new readers that didn't read about it. What it is is a like a chuck wagon dinner theater. You first go out side and watch a skit they put on. Like the wild west and they have audience participation. Then you go inside and go through a line and have food like they might have had on a cattle drive in the 1800's. (BBQ Chicken, Beef, Ribs, Beans, Rolls, Salad and Cake). After dinner they then put on a live show of lots of toe tapping cowboy music. With the fiddles, guitars, bass and more. It is the funnest evening. It is about a 4 hour evening. It is a bit spendy but worth every penny.

e will also be celebrating my MIL's birthday which is June 3rd and my youngest son, Willy's 15th birthday on June 5th. I am thinking we will have a joint party to celebrate.

ome of you may have noticed that I put back in my Readers Poll. I didn't have it in my last entry and I got several people asking me why I took it out! So, I have put it back in!

k, as for the American Idol finals. What can I say. Sure I wanted Bo to win but I am hoping that the same thing will happen as in season 2 with Reuben and Clay. I love Bo and I actually have him on my desktop background right now! He is so gorgeous! Specially when he takes them terrible sunglasses off! How many of you watched the 3 judges, Ryan, Carrie and Sexy Bo on Larry King Live tonight? What a good show. I just wish that Bo would have spoke a bit more.

love my TiVO! It is the greatest thing ever. I can go back and watch Bo all I want! I also really liked Scott so I have his performances saved also. In fact, Kathi (private journal) sent me a bunch of Scott's MP3's and I was so excited about that! So thank you Kathi!

ave you ever had something on your mind that you don't want to say out loud (or in this case saying it in your journal) because you know that once you have said it then you know it is actually a problem? But if you keep it to yourself then the problem isn't really there since no body but you knows about it? (Did that make any sense at all??) Well, I have something that I know and I have been afraid to tell anyone, besides Bo that is. I actually didn't tell him he discovered it on his own.

hat am I talking about? If I admit it to you all then I know I need to have it checked. A couple of weeks ago I discovered 2 lumps on my stomach. Inside kind of...under the skin. Like a lump you may find on your breast is the closest I can describe them I guess. One on each side. And since then I have gotten a couple of more. One of them on the left side hurts. Specially when I sleep on it since I sleep on my left side. That is when Bo discovered them was in bed one night. They also hurt when I drive from time to time if the steering wheel bumps the spot that they are in. I know that I have to get in and find out what they are at the doctors but I told Bo that I am going to wait until after his parents leave. After all I don't want to ruin the trip for them and us. Bo and I are both really worried about them. I haven't really told Bo how worried I actually am and also how badly they hurt. Especially the ones on the left side. That's the main reason he is so mean to me anymore...he is so frustrated that I am always sick.

hy is it that I continue to find problems with me and my health? I just want to be healthy. I am so scared that these are something really bad and I once again may have to have surgery and possibly more. I was going to mention this in my last entry but didn't want to share it with anyone yet. Because then if I didn't maybe it will all just go away. I know this isn't the case though.

nough of the downer stuff. Time to be more upbeat once again. Do you all have plans for the Memorial Day weekend? We are going to a BBQ Saturday and also the dump before that. Then Sunday is major cleaning house day. Monday will be finishing up with any house cleaning we may have and also I want to go to the cemetery to put flowers on my baby girls grave and my Dad's. And Tuesday will be Bo's first day of vacation and his parents will be here in the afternoon/early evening.

lease don't be offended if I don't get to any of your journals next week and leave comments. I am sure that we are going to be too busy with the in-laws.

ay you all have a fun but safe holiday weekend!

This weeks Theme:
Little Girls!
Thanks To
The Tag Lounge
and Rennys Niche
For the Wonderful Graphics

MY MAP!!! CLICK WHERE YOU LIVE!! CLICK ON VIEW MY GUEST MAP

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I am Back and Feeling Better...

Mon, 23 May 2005 23:56:09 GMT

s some of you might have noticed I haven't updated for a while. I normally try to do one once a week and this time it's been closer to 2 weeks. Also, I haven't commented in any journals in a while. Why? Well, from Mother's Day through this past weekend was the week from hell for me. So I am going to try to get caught back up with my journal reading as quickly as I can.

n Mother's Day my boys gave me the most beautiful bouquet of tulips. They know that they are my favorite flower so I was thrilled. My daughter took me to lunch to a great Italian restaurant. I noticed when I woke up that morning that my throat was a bit sore but really didn't think much about it. Because of it I wasn't able to eat very much of my lunch and brought home lots of leftovers. When we got back home I took a 2 hour nap before going to see my Mom. When we got back from seeing Mom I went right to bed.

woke Monday morning to the worst ear ache and sore throat. I went to minor emergency late that afternoon. They said my throat was really red and my right ear was infected and gave me a prescription for z-pak. This whole time I couldn't eat or drink. It was too painful. I also sat in my recliner with my heating pad the whole time. On Wednesday when i was worse than Monday I went back to the doctor and they said it was worse. My ear drum looked like it was ready to burst and the reason my throat hurt so bad was because of the ear. They said if my ear drum did burst it would be a mess and lots of blood but it should feel better sincethe pressure would be relieved. I wasn't sure if I wanted it to burst or not! They also gave me a different antibiotic and some pain medicine to drink so I could take my medicine and drink some fluids. It didn't take the pain completely away but took the edge off enough so that I was able to drink water and eat some pudding and get my pills down. My ear drum never did burst, so I was glad about that.

esides the pain I was in I also kept having panic attacks because I was petrified that my throat was closing shut again and I would have to go through the nightmare I had had a few months ago. (If you didn't read about that you can here - Part One - Part Two). All I can say is THANK GOD that didn't happen.

his past Saturday I began to feel better and was happy about that. And so was my family!

ately I have been thinking more and more about my family and how badly I feel because I get sick so often. The main reason I get infections so easily is because my immune system is really low due to all the meds I take and also because I have diabetes. Sometimes they are understanding but most the time not. Especially my daughter Cassie, and Bo.

Sites of the Week:

A Japanese Talent Show. This girl is good!

How easily can you tell a mans hands and nails from a women's? I sure couldn't!

How good is your dining etiquette from around the world?

Monica over at "Back Roads of Life" sent this link to me. It tests how easy you can work your mouse. Just move the dot through the maze without touching the walls. Easier said than done!

just read something that really depressed me :-) The American Idol tour will be in Everett, Washington on my birthday (August 23rd). But of course they aren't going to come to this side of the state. We are just a bunch of hicks in Eastern Washington LOL. Everett isn't that far. (About 5 hours drive) I probably could drive but it would be a whole lot easier if they would just come to Spokane!

Dumb Laws of the Week:

In California it is illegal for women to drive in a house coat and
NO vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

In Colorado It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

In Connecticut in order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. And also you can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

esterday I got an email that made a lot of different statements called: "Did You Know?" One of the statements was this:

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:

I Love You, Sorry, and Help Me

The people who say these actually really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.

fter reading this I began to cry. At my last counseling session I mentioned to my counselor how it bothers me that my middle son, Tyler, rarely says he loves me even though I say it to all my kids every day. The counselor told me exactly what that statement said...that the people who say these actually really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them. When he said this to me I kind of pushed it to the back of my mind until I read that yesterday in that email. Last night before going to bed Tyler put his arms around me and gave me a nice big hug and told me that he lovedme. It made me cry and he asked me why. I told him they were happy tears and thanked him. That he had made my day! It's not that my other 2 kids don't love me because I know they do because they tell me every day. But Tyler's I need to treasure more since he doesn't say it very often.

peaking of Tyler, Saturday night was his Junior Prom. He went with his girlfriend, Rachel. They also went with his 2 best friends, Ryan and Jimmy and their dates. Jimmy has been Tyler's best friend since second grade. I love both the boys like my other 2 sons but Jimmy longer. We got lots of pictures. Boy, I love having a digital camera! Not only did we get lots before they left but Tyler took the camera to the dance and got some priceless pictures of his friends and classmates.

pdate: Tuesday evening Tyler came upstairs from his bedroom right before I went to bed. I could tell something was really wrong. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that he just broke up with Rachel. I felt so bad. The next day when he got home from school he came to me and told me that he thinks he made a huge mistake breaking up with her. He had to work at 5 but when he got off work at 9pm he planned on going over to see her and talk things out and try to get back together. In the mean time Rachel sent me an IM on MSN messenger and her and I talked for well over an hour. She really wants to get back with Tyler also. I hope they can work things out. They are so cute together. And I get a long so well with her. She told me how much she enjoys talking to me on IM and it helps her a lot since she can't talk to her mom like she does me. I will keep you updated on their progress!

or those of you that have been keeping my Mom in your prayers I wanted to let you know that she has tentativelyset up her second surgery on her other lung the last week of June. She is very scared specially since she is still in a lot of pain from the last one. And another thing that really has her bummed is the fact that she most likely won't be able to golf this spring/summer. I laughed and told her that I think her health is a bit more important than playing golf!

ess than 2 weeks now until my in-laws get here from CT. We haven't seen them in almost 2 years so it will be a nice visit. They will be here for 8 days.

ell, American Idol is down to the final 2. In the back of my mind I had kind of hoped the final 2 would be Bo and Constantine. I thought that would make for a great final 2 vote and also a hard choice. I like them both. But to be honest, I have a secret crush on Bo. Something about him. MMMMM :-) Maybe it's because I have a thing for guys called Bo. Who knows! I just wish he'd throw those stupid sunglasses away. I would much rather see his pretty eyes. When he sang his song the other night (the a cappella one) I almost melted. What a performance! WOW! Alright, enough drooling LOL.

just noticed that my counter just hit 10,000! I wish I knew who the person was that pushed it over the 10,000 mark! Thanks to all my visitors and for the nice comments you always leave for me. I love you all!

his is about all I have for this week. I will try to update before my in-laws come. And again please forgive me for not commenting in your journals for a while. I hope everyone has a great week!

Thanks To
The Tag Lounge
and Rennys Niche
For the Wonderful Graphics

MY MAP!!! CLICK WHERE YOU LIVE!! CLICK ON VIEW MY GUEST MAP

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Happy Mother's Day!

Sat, 07 May 2005 17:24:15 GMT

t is Mother's Day weekend. For the past few years my daughter has taken me out to brunch for Mother's Day. She wants to do it again this year and also wants to take my Mom, her Grandma, with us. I don't know if Mom will be able to go though. It still takes a lot out of her to go out and she doesn't eat very much yet either. So we may just to out for brunch and then come home and get the boys and Bo and go out to see her. I always buy her a nice plant or a bouquet of flowers. I like to get a combination of tulips and trumpet iris's. They look so pretty together. But then a live flowering plant she can put outside. So, I will just have to decide when I go and look. I feel so blessed to have such a special Mother. One that loves me and would do anything in her power to help us. When I read about other people that aren't close to their Mom's it breaks my heart. I don't know where I would be without my Mom's love and guidance through the years.

have also been blessed to have a very special Mother-in-law. She is such a neat lady and loves me also. They have taken me into their family with open arms. My ex MIL wasn't as nice. In fact she didn't come to our wedding because I wasn't Catholic and the wedding was in my church which was a Presbyterian church. It always hurt my ex-husband that his mom was this way. So when I got remarried and Bo's Mom was so nice to me I truly felt blessed to be a part of my new family.

o Happy Mother's Day Mom and Mom Sandy.

oth Bo and my youngest son, Willy, have really bad colds. I normally don't get colds because I take antibiotics 24/7. But not this time. I now have their cold. I hate when I get them because I get them far worse than most people. Due to the fact that my immune system is really low. It is my chest and I am coughing up blood and lots of other crud. It' really disgusting to say the least LOL. I just hope that this time it doesn't turn into pneumonia like it has in the past when it is in my chest.

or those interested I updated my Recipe Journal this week with how I make BBQ ribs and hopefully I will be adding another recipe this weekend for my version of potato salad.

HINGS THAT REALLY IRRITATE ME:

Bo goes into our bedroom to do something and then comes back to the living room and leaves the light on.
The kids and BO especially will get a cup or plate out of the cupboards and then leave the cupboard wide open!!!
And in our kitchen we have 2 throw rugs. Bo CAN NOT walk on these rugs without messing them up. Why can't he just pick his big, dumb feet up???
And last night was a doozy! The kids were all gone so we went out for Chinese food. I asked Bo to put the leftovers in the fridge. He opened it and asked where he should put it. I told him in the bottom drawer. He responds by saying they didn't fit in the drawer and told me to do it. I ignore him thinking he had done it, but, a little while later he looks at me and asks me when am I going to get up and put the food away. I glance out in the kitchen and the fridge was wide open!!! Can you believe that? He just left it open?? What an idiot. I get up take the food and put one in the top drawer and one in the bottom drawer and then slam the fridge shut, wipe my brow, and say loudly, "Whew, that was really hard!" MEN!!!!
For my final irritation in this entry...I am now officially ticked off! This past week I have gotten 3...get me 3...emails from people on AOL that I have no idea who they are...they are those kind of emails that at the end say "if you mail this email to 5 people within a certain amount of time you will have good luck...10 people you will have really good luck etc...you know the kind right? They must just open the member directory and pick a bunch of names they don't know and send them to them. Well anyway, I got another one tonight from someone I didn't know and so I replied back to them this:

"DO I KNOW YOU? WHY in the HECK are you mailing me crap if I don't even know u....STOP IT..................NOWWWW!!!!"

I have had enough of these. So from on if I get more from an unknown person they will get the same response!

ednesday was my doctor appointment with my kidney doctor. After going over all the blood work I have taken in the past couple of months he said that my levels are off but not near as bad as he was afraid they were...he wants to keep a close eye on them. He did say that he thinks the reason I am getting all these sores and blisters isn't because of my kidneys but because my Behcet's disease (or syndrome as it is also called) is getting worse. I amnow taking 2 antibiotics daily rather that just the one. I have to take them 24/7 so I am constantly on antibiotics. They don't know really how to handle this disease since it is fairly new in the states. They still don't exactly know what causes it but they do have some ideas. By the sounds of it the Behcet's disease can be blamed for lots of my problems. Some of the symptoms are:

kin infections, sores (I get these all over my body and they are terrible. The ones in my mouth hurt the worst) , arthritis, confusion, memory loss, depression, fatigue, lethargy, eye problems (which includes blurriness and dizziness), exhaustion and more. I have all of these. And the latest symptom that I have just started getting is numbness in my left leg. I just noticed it the past couple of days. I can't feel right below my left knee. I poke and prod and feel nothing. It is totally numb. I just hope that it doesn't go any further than the knee area. This is something that I am going to have to let my arthritis doctor know about when I see him. Since he is the one that treats me for it. I haven't told Bo about it yet but I will this weekend.

hursday was the day that I went to my new counselor. I really liked him a lot. This is how the appointment went:

e skimmed through my life so that he can get to know me better. We talked about my ex-husband and our marriage, about losing my dad and little girl so close together (they died a month apart), how Bo wishes I was the same person I was when we got married, how I'm too nice (I have a hard time disciplining the kids). He then asked if I was ever abused as a child and my relationship with my parents and sisters. I told him that I had never been abused as a child (but did tell him that my ex got abusive towards the end of our marriage) and my relationship with my family was wonderful, that I love my family very much. He wanted to know if I ever have the desire not to be here (commit suicide). I told him NO, never. I could never do that. He also doesn't think I should be doing so much for Bo and the boys and that I need to concentrate on me more. For an example...waking Bo and the boys up every day and making them hot breakfasts every day. He feels they all should have to do that on their own. That they are able to do that. He thinks they have gotten too comfortable with me taking care of them. But this is the way I was brought up. My mom always made us hot breakfasts and woke us up. I then cried really hard when I told him how I'm having a really hard time with my kids growing up. But then he brought up a really good point. He said if I am strong enough to bury my baby girl and dad within a month and go through all that grief then I am strong enough to let my kids grow up. I told him that I am a real softy and that everyone walks all over me. He said I need to stop letting that happen. He also asked if I ever get angry and I told him that I do but I keep it inside and get very quiet when I am mad. It seems like the hour went by very quickly but I do feel that he is going to be able to help me a lot. I made 3 more appointments.

ow that he has gotten to know a little about me, each week we are going to pinpoint just a couple of things and deal with them rather than everything all at once. It makes sense to me. So, each week I will update you on how that weeks appointment went.

Sites of the Week:

Jennifer over at The Last 50 Pounds is doing the March of Dimes walk and she needs to get at least $350 in donations to be eligible to do the walk. So if you have a healthy child go over to Jennifer's Journal and donate to the cause. It's for the MARCH OF DIMES who helps those precious premie babies and for babies born with birth defects. Even if it is just $5, every dollar counts. I have donated and feel awesome for doing it. And here is the link to just go and donate and she will be notified that you did. (Click the picture)
This site is plain stupid, but you have to see it! The guy puts gas into his car and goes into pay while it is still pumping. Comes out and forgets the hose is still in his car and gets into his car and drives away! The pump gets pulled over and the pump goes up in flames. I think this is the Stupid Site of the Week! It is called: Forgetful Man Sparks Gas Fire.
This is a MUST SEE! It is so freaking funny! I laughed so hard when I watched this video. For any moms that have nursed or are nursing their babies you will love this. It is adorable! Upside Down Mom! (It is graphic in the sense that you see the Mom's breasts)
Survivors of war take major risks on the roads after returning home. This is just plain sad.
Check your reflexes. This is really fun little game! My best time was 0.184 A Rocketing Rabbit!!

his week I backed up both of my journals. After hearing that AOL has been deleting some on accident (or was it?) I decided to do it to mine. I didn't want to lose everything. I found out the quickest and easiest way at Journey to Peace's Journal.

Dumb Laws of the Week:

In Alabama it is illegal to play dominoes on Sunday.

In Alaska it is legal to shoot bears, BUT waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

In Arizona hunting camels is prohibited. (So Kara put away your gun LOL)

In Arkansas there is a law that says school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

"THE READERS POLL"

The Last Question I Asked You Was:

Have you cut down on your driving
since gas prices have sky rocketed?

Yes - 8

No - 16

My Next Question Is:

I would like to know how many of my readers are Mom's since it is Mother's Day weekend.
So, are you a Mom or Mom to be?

Yes

No

ave any of you planned on taking the day off from work (or school) to go and see the opening day of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith? Opening day is May 19th. Our family is so excited. We finally get to see how Anakin becomes Darth Vader and also about how Padmé hides the fact she gives birth to Luke and Leia from their dad. (Darth Vader). Bo has taken the day off from work and I told both the boys they can stay home from school that day so they can go also.

riday morning I told Bo that I wasn't going to make him breakfast. He would have to fend for himself. So right before he is leaving for work he tells me if I follow him he will buy me a breakfast sandwich at Subway! So of course I followed him in my car. What a good sandwich. French bread with provolone cheese, eggs and bacon. Very tasty indeed. Maybe I will tell him I am not making him breakfast more often!

ell, I think this is enough for this entry. I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend and if you are a Mom my wish for you is that you have a VERY

Thanks To
The Tag Lounge
and Rennys Niche
For the Wonderful Graphics

MY MAP!!! CLICK WHERE YOU LIVE!! CLICK ON VIEW MY GUEST MAP

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Sunny Days

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 16:34:10 GMT

o bought a new web cam and set it up on my computer...during the day he likes for me to turn it on so he can see me while he is at work. It is so funny to do this. I enjoy it though since I don't have to type. I put my headphones on with the microphone on it and I just talk to him. Makes it a lot easier for me to chat with him when he has the time.

peaking of chatting...do a lot of you keep yourselves hidden? So you can't be seen on anyone's buddy lists? Just curious because there are a lot of you I would love to chat with but never see your name online. I admit that I have my buddy list on privacy also, but I have the majority of the people that I read their journals unblocked so that I can chat with you if you want to chat. So, if you want to chat and don't see me online drop me an email and I will add you and unblock you also. I am always online and if I am away from my computer I put up an away message as to what I am doing or where I am the majority of the time. So, if you ever want to chat let send me an IM.

ournal land friends. Speaking of you. I want to publicly announce that I miss Debbie (derasta) so much. Debbie and I have known each other for about 7 years now...online and off line. I consider Debbie to be my best friend in the whole wide world. She is such a sweet lady and her and I have so much in common. I even introduced her to her hubby, John, way back when! I really miss her updating her journal on a daily basis. Her and I do talk on instant messenger from time to time but not as much as we used to...but I still miss her fun updates.

t appears that there are quite a few that are having journal burn out like Debbie is. I miss a lot of my old favorites. I have found lots of new ones, don't get me wrong. But it still is sad when you feel you really know someone like we do through our journals and then they leave. It is like an empty spot when they vanish. I am sure there are others out there that feel the same way that I do when this happens.

ave I mentioned this before? (My memory is so bad!!) My in-laws are coming for a 8 day visit the first week of June. We are so excited. They are coming the end of May and staying in Seattle for a few days then renting a car and driving to Spokane to see us. They will be staying at the Red Lion Hotel where my daughter, Cassie works. We love them so much but just don't have the room for them to stay at our place.

iving you the information about drinking diet Pepsi and other diet caffeine pops on my last entry has turned out to be one of the best things I have wrote about in my journal it seems. For those of you that may have missed it my doctor told me that diet pop with caffeine is bad for you. It causes joint pain along with who knows what. And it is true. I have tried. I didn't drink any for about a week and then had a can and BOOM I hurt so bad the next day. So even though I miss diet Pepsi something terribly and I want some so bad....I won't be drinking any ever again. If I get so I just have to have something I will have a small drink of Sprite or of root beer. And that helps. But I will always miss diet Pepsi!

Fun sites I found for the week:

Adopt a virtual pet at Bunny Hero Labs! They have many types to chose from. Dogs, cats, tigers, ducks, penguins and bunnies! You can name them any name you want and chose any color also! Here is mine. I chose a puppy!

Do you like popping bubble wrap like I do? Then you have to go to the bubble wrap page! It is not quite as fun as the real thing but close enough! So have fun popping!!
Since lots of us were broken hearted that Constantine was eliminated last night on American Idol you can download ALL of his performances since the beginning. Click on VIDEO on the right bar to see him performing or AUDIO to just get the MP3's. Then put your mouse over the songs and right click SAVE AS. Then you can have them all. I got them all last night after the show was over.
A Hot Wheel car selling on e-bay (Its unbelievable how much its going for!)
Would you like to see what you might look like in 40 years? Then you have to check this site out!
For those of you who don't know about this journal I have to tell you about it. It is Cheryl's journal and is called "Welcome to My World". They raise Yorkie dogs. About 3 weeks ago their female, Lucy, gave birth to 4 puppies. All female. They are the cutest puppies in the world! So, I thought I would show you some pictures of the puppies. Cheryl is always posting new pictures of the pups so please go and take a look at her journal!

When they were first born!

And now, 3 weeks later! I want one so bad! They are so adorable!!!

n update on my mom. She went to her doctor the other day and he did an x-ray of her lung that they removed the cancer from. It seems that she has fluid building up around her lung and that is why she is still in so much pain. The doctor is hoping that her body will take care of it and absorb it. If it doesn't they will have to put a tube in and drain it for her. I talk to her every day and she says that she isn't hurting as bad so she is hoping that the fluid is draining off on its own. They have decided they won't do the next surgery until she is 90% healed from the first one. I will keep you posted as I learn more.

or anyone that is interested I did an update to my Big Brother journal. It is getting to be that time of year again for BB to begin. This year it begins in June rather than July. So, take a look and make sure and add it to your alerts if you are a BB fanatic like I am! Unedited BB...Behind the Scenes.

Dumb Laws of the Week:

Arkansas, Little Rock: No one may “suddenly start or stop” their car at a McDonald’s.

California, Fresno: Elementary schools may not host poker tournaments.

Virginia, Richmond: It is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for a coffee.

had planned on updating sooner than I did but the past few days I have really feltcrummy. The other day I lay down to take a nap and awoke to severe cramps in my abdomen. I never get cramps. I made it through the day and the next morning woke up and the pain had moved up into my stomach area. I was actually really worried that possibly my hernia had burst, AGAIN, and I would have to go to the ER and be admitted for emergency surgery. This has happened to me twice now and believe me it hurts like heck! But, thank GOD, I woke this morning and the pain has subsided. So hopefully it has passed. I have no idea what caused the pain either. Oh well, I am just happy its over.

esterday I had a doctor appt. with my arthritis doctor. And then next Wednesday and Thursday I have 2 different doctor appointments. One with the kidney doctor since they are worried something may be wrong with my kidneys and also with the new counselor. Anyway yesterday after my appointment was over with my arthritis doctor I dropped the paper work off at the medical store so they can contact my insurance company about getting me my scooter. I got the paper work last week in the mail from my doctor but since the medical supply store I went to to order it was clear downtown I decided to wait and drop it off after my doctor appt. yesterday since his office is downtown also. Saved some gas in other words!

peaking of gas. I decided that might be a good topic for the readers poll this week. I am paying $2.79 a gallon. We have to put premium into our cars so its 20 cents more a gallon that regular unleaded. It just kills me to pay that but if I put the regular gas in my car drives terrible and pings really loud. Because of the higher prices I have cut down on going so many places. I try to put all my errands into one trip so it isn't so expensive.

"THE READERS POLL"

The last question I asked you was:

Do you buy or rent your home?

Own/Buying - 16

Renting - 7

My next Question is:

Have you cut down on your driving
since gas prices have sky rocketed?

Yes

No

ere any of you fans of the TV show, "Full House"? I found a picture of the oldest girl, (DJ on the show and her real name is Candace Cameron). She is married to hockey player Valeri Bure and has 3 cute kids. Her hubby is very handsome and she has grown to be a beautiful woman. Here is their home page.

o you like my theme ofsunflowers this week? I thought they were really pretty.

guess I have bored you enough for another week. I hope you all have a great day!

Thanks To
The Tag Lounge
and Rennys Niche
For the Wonderful Graphics

MY MAP!!! CLICK WHERE YOU LIVE!! CLICK ON VIEW MY GUEST MAP

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Pooh is Missing!!

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 03:59:06 GMT

urprise! Here I am. I decided it was time for me to do an update. It has been too long.

verything is going fairly well here. I went and saw the counselor and got a bigger surprise than I expected. She is a really nice lady and I really like her. But, she isn't a counselor but an actual psychiatrist! Yes, an MD! She was an internal doctor before changing fields about 10 years ago. We talked about many things. But mainly about my health problems. She also went over my medicine list that I take and asked me questions about each one. She told me that a lot of my problems are a big circle. The medicines cause lots of different side effects. But, the problem is that the medicines I take I need. We did talk about some of what I was feeling and I cried. She gave me a list of things that she wanted me to start taking. Such as Vitamin D and E, multi-vitamins and Fish Oil tablets. She said that taking these would help me a lot. So, I have started taking them and so far I don't notice anything. She then made me an appointment for this past Monday also.

t the next appointment she told me that she wants to be my doctor but she also wants me to see a counselor that could help more with my problems. She would still be involved but she would be more in the background watching my meds and talking to the counselor. I am to email her weekly and let her know how I am doing. She is doing this so that I don't have to pay for 2 counseling sessions. She also prescribed me Xanax for my anxiety attacks. We talked about those also. I told her that I think I started getting them when I went in for an MRI about 6 months ago. I never did have the MRI. I got into the machine for about 30 seconds and freaked. I just couldn't do it. Then a couple months after that I was intubated while I was awake. The combination of the 2 has caused me these anxiety attacks. She totally agreed. Se wants me to keep a record of when I have an attack and to take a Xanax. I have noticed I have attacks when I go to bed with Bo in bed with me. I think it is because he likes to snuggle so close to me and it now freaks me out somewhat. Last night I took a Xanax before bed and actually slept 4 hours straight!!! That is a record for me. Normally the most I sleep is about an hour and half to 2 hours tops. Anyway, she wants to start me on an anti-depressant also but is holding off on that for the time being. Until she talks to my other doctors and decides what will be best that won't have any affect on any of the other meds I take. Smart idea!

nyway, as for Bo and I. We are still having problems and Dr. Mira says she thinks a lot has to do with the fact that Bo doesn't know how to act with me not being the same person as I was when we met. It will take him some time. She also said that after I see the new counselor he will want to have Bo come in after a few sessions with just me. I plan on making the appointment with him for sometime next week.

he kids told me something a while ago that I kind of put to the back of my mind until recently. Their dad has MS (multiple sclerosis) and his doctors told him to quit drinking diet Pepsi. That it wasn't good for his joints. So last week when I saw my arthritis doctor he confirmed it. He told me that drinking any diet pop causes joint pain. I didn't believe this at first but now I do. Ever since I stopped drinking it my knees aren't hurting near as bad. They still hurt but at least now I am able to walk to the bedroom without almost falling down. But believe me, I miss Diet Pepsi terribly!!!!

ast week Bo was at a thrift store and found a huge brandy snifter. He thought it would be perfect for a gold fish bowl. After buying it he went to the pet store and bought a gold fish. This wasn't a normal gold fish though. It was about 6 inches long! He got in the car to come home and leaned back in the car seat and heard breaking glass. His $2.99 purchase was now broke! When he got home we went to Wal-Mart and bought a 2 gallon tank. Brought it home and got it all put together. The fish was too big for the new tank! We left the fish in this new tank for about a week and in that short time the fish started losing its pretty orange color and started to turn white. We were told that happened because of the stress of the fish being in to small of a tank! So off to Wal-Mart again and we bought a 10 gallon tank. Another $32.00. This small original investment of a $2.99 bowl and a $4.99 fish has cost us about $80!! But the good news is the fish is starting to get its orange back and he is very happy in his new aquarium!

y son Tyler is more like me than I realized. He and his girlfriend are having some problems because he would rather stay home than go anywhere. He likes to bring her here for dinner and then watch a movie or sit and watch TV with her. Her on the other hand would rather go bowling or miniature golfing or to the movie theater. All these things cost money and Tyler would much rather save his money to buy a car. I think its great that he wants to stay home. This way I can see him more! (I know, bad mom LOL)

friend of Bo's company was throwing out computer chairs. So he took a bunch and brought us 3. They are really nice chairs. Way nicer than the one I had. Anyway, I went to sit in my new chair and like I was in slow motion the chair flipped over backwards and I hit my head. It hurt like heck! Bo felt terrible that it happened to me. He took the chair to work that day and had the guy in the machine area weld it. Now it is as sturdy as can be and won't be breaking again any time soon!

oes anyone out there have a Winnie the Pooh bear that they don't need anymore? There is a very sad 3 1/2 year old that lost hers and could really use one. Anna at Simple but Satisfying...little girl Emmy lost hers. If you have one that you would like to donate to the cause please contact me or Anna...THANK YOU!!!

wo of my favorite journal friends have just bought houses...J aime and Vivian...congratulations to both of u!

ne of Bo's friends sent this link to him of a site called World School Photographs. It is truly amazing. What you do is type in some info about yourself and what high school you went to and it finds pictures of you and possibly a friend or 2 of yours with you from when you were in high school! They found one of me and 2 of me with my friends. What memories!

"THE READERS POLL"

The last question I asked you was:

Do you get your nails done at a salon?

Yes - 8

No - 9

Do Yourself - 7

My next Question is:

Do you buy or rent your home?

Own/Buying

Renting

finally got my income tax done. Hip Hip Horray!! And we get a little money back. But we aren't like a lot of you out there. We send it in and it usually takes about 3 months to get anything back. The reason is that Bo has an old student loan and they take part of our income tax to pay on the loan. They don't take all of it since I do a form 8379 or an Injured Spouse form. This makes it so that the IRS can't take our whole check and put towards the loan. Since it isn't my loan they have to give me some money back when I send this form in. It works out fine except that they always take more than half to pay on the old student loan which really sucks!

everal of you asked me how I got so much into my "About Me" section. It took me quite a while to do it since I wanted it just perfect, but I made it all one graphic in Adobe Photoshop. Each item is a new layer. If you want me to make you one just email me and I will let you know what I need to do if for you!

his entry appears to be a lot longer than I thought it would be. So, until next time, I hope you all have a great week and THANK YOU so much for stopping by and always leaving me such wonderful comments. It is so nice to have such nice friends as I do here in j-land!

Thanks To
The Tag Lounge
and Rennys Niche
For the Wonderful Graphics

MY MAP!!! CLICK WHERE YOU LIVE!! CLICK ON VIEW MY GUESTMAP

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~~ Life with Linny ~~

an update on me! and yes, i am home now!!

Linda is in the hosptial

Happy Memorial Day!

I am Back and Feeling Better...

Happy Mother's Day!

Sunny Days

Pooh is Missing!!

Life with Linny