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7:18:00 AM CST
Iraq version of an alarm clock!
Its 7:30AM and 46 degrees and my weather avatar over there on my sidebar is half naked! That just struck me this morning..lol! So the hub calls me back later on in the day and he was mad. I don’t mean a little mad but steaming mad! He had not slept in the last 2 days and laid down to grab a little sleep and got woke up by the Iraq version of an alarm clock and of course the sirens go off then. He wasn’t like oh I was scared or that was a new experience, all he could say was how mad he was they woke him up with that crap. Let me explain something about my hub. He has the soul of an old Soldier. He got nervous right before he left and then again right as he was getting there but since his feet hit the ground all that disappeared. So it was no surprise to me that he handled that situation like he did. Another thing that happen was he says to me he was trying to keep the Army from screwing him…when I asked how they was attempting that…he said that someone over him wanted to keep him there doing a job that if I was in Iraq I would considered once of the safest (if there is a safe one in Iraq this one would be it) and he was beside himself. So he went to another person that ranked the same as the one trying to keep him and said he didn’t want that job. When I questioned him he said, “You don’t understand, I wasn’t trained to do ___, I was trained to fight. I don’t want to know I earned a combat badge by doing nothing. I want to be with my guys.” Within second I understood and remembered I would stand by him in whatever choice he makes. I told him to fight it all he could, told him to tell them that wasn’t what he had waited all his life to do. I caved into the fact my hub isn’t going to be satisfied until he is doing what I as a spouse fear. So if I know him as well as I say I do, he is at this very moment doing what he set out to do when he joined the Military at the very beginning. Our communication was great while it lasted but now he has to move on and do his job. I will miss hearing his voice daily but for some very strange reason I feel him near me at all times. I don’t even feel my daddy’s spirit anywhere yet but I can feel my hub. Felt him since the day his plane touched down. It a feeling of complete comfort. I am not sad one bit. I have not cried one single tear. I went over the stages of deployment and I do not fit into any of them. I wonder if something is wrong with me. I know when it comes to the hub I am not cold heart nor uncaring so what is up with me? I am at a stage of complete and total acceptance of this deployment. Its like this deployment was just written in the book of fate for him and I. I wonder more what the out come will be…what is written for that.
So let me update on Tri-care. I ended up on and off the phone with them from 8:30 yesterday morning until 4:30 in the afternoon. I finally have a Doctor that I have to go see next week that is 49.11 miles away from me but Tri-care says that is within my 40 mile range…I didn’t fight that one because I was just glad they got this appointment for me. I actually will be seeing 2 different doctors. I have an appointment with the 1st and then I have to wait an hour and then see the other one. I am not to sure about this drive there because I am so new to the area and it is very confusing. My driving still isn’t where it needs to be but I need to get that out of my system because I have to make a trip back home soon. I am going to start some over due dental treatments when I get back to my mom’s. And yes without saying it to her I want my mom to take care of me…LOL! I am still such a baby sometimes…I hate pain…it hurts…LOL! I have some jaw bone issues and they have got to be fixed before the hub comes home period! I have to know I have done something different for when he gets back home.
I am going to buy me a couple new outfits and completely change one room in our home for his homecoming. Yes I know it is a ways away but hey I am so behind on everything I do these days it will take that long for me to actually do it. He wants his 1st care package sent out next week so I have got to get on that. I can make a mean (as in GREAT) care package when it comes to a navy member but I have NO clue how to do one for another branch. I know the basics will stay the same but other than that I am at a lost. On the boat he had plenty of room and now he is extremely limited on space. I use to send him groceries and now he says not for me to even try that. So what in the world do I send? He still has everything he left here with. And trust me I made sure he was stocked on baby wipes, toothpaste, soaps, lip balm, sun block and so many other things. So what else is there? OK off here to take something for this headache. I figure I will spend my Saturday night reading journals. WOW I am such a party person…LOL!!! Hugggs!!!
BTW go check out a Navy wife, which just happens to be my best friend, journal….her daughter and hubby just attended the father-daughter dance at her school last night and pictures are just unbelievable. Her family is just gorgeous!!! http://journals.aol.com/dasajam1/there-goes-my-mind..../
Also thank you soooo much Kelli for mentioning me in your journal… http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom
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glad things got sorted with the doctor...hopefully you have a good experience with one of these two.
I know it's got to be tough to be in your shoes and I think you handle it well. I think you have a very realistic approach.
Those gatorade packets are good. The powder packs you pour into water.
Have a good one~
~Bernadette -
I think that's neat that you are at that stage you mentioned of complete and total acceptance of the deployment; its gotta be hard and I've never been in that situation, but I think it is better to be acceptant of something then fight it all the way; it might make it more durable and doable than if you were fighting it in your mind.
great goals to try to achieve too when he's deployed so you have something to work on bit by bit
betty -
want to come and redecorate my rooms????
Becky
3/1/08 4:15 PM
gotta love tricare right? at least they worked with you i had to drive that much too
i was there at least once or twice a month too between me and olivia
hope that you have a good weekend
glad you got to talk to hubby
emily