Tickity Tack

Wishful Thinking

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:33:38 GMT

For the past three years, half of my apartment has served as a storage unit for my mom's belongings when she moved out of our old house. I was fed up with it when she was out here since she continued to clutter the little place with yet more of other people's garbage due to her addiction to Freecycle. She removed herself from the picture but left the objects of my ire in my apartment. She then moved into another house and filled that thing with clutter from Freecycle instead of taking all the garbage that was already cluttering my apartment. Hell, even the second room's bathroom is just filled with boxes and useless. I really do want my house back but she keeps putting off taking her stuff out.

Once in a while, she tells me to throw it out, but once I start listing off my biggest problems, she gets iffy about them being thrown out. But it also pissed me off since now it just all falls on my shoulders to do something about her shit that I never wanted. Now she's avoided me this whole week about giving me answer with this shit and I want it all out now. If she doesn't call me tomorrow, then I can be seen dragging a bed, pieces of a dresser (I'm not even willing to ask someone else to waste their time on her shit so I have to break it apart so I can carry it), a lamp she's always whined about needing, clothes, boxes of who knows what, I don't care. I'm even going to throw out the stained glass lamp I got her. I want to go back to what my apartment was before it became her personal dumping ground for her collected shit. And yes, throw out. It has no value to me and the time I have to waste just to drag it to the dumpster is already worth more than that stuff. I'm not going to waste time with Freecycle, eBay or anything like that. I just want it out of here as fast as possible. It would almost be easier to take out what I want in the apartment to a guest apartment here, take off the front door and hang a sign that says "free - take it all". I give it a few days and I should be ready to move back in with a cleaned out apartment.

It's really been frustrating since when I first moved out here, I had plans for what I wanted to do with each room. Then my plans were completely shattered when her stuff came. The only room that resembles what I wanted is my bedroom. Now I don't even want to look at what was once my office because it pisses me off each time I see how my space is being wasted. I'm not a freakin' storage unit and I'm going to reclaim MY apartment this weekend.

I've been wanting to get some of the stuff I've been saving in my living room into the office. The CD racks, TV stands and all that was bought with the theme of my office in mind. But it's been all sitting in my living room waiting for the day that they can take their rightful place in the office. And once I can get that in the office, then I finally start getting the things I wanted for the living room. I'm getting too antsy. No furnishing project should take three years unless it has to do with money. I'm tired of waiting and I want to do what I wanted to do with my apartment.

Decisions

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 20:57:26 GMT

So I finally broke down and I bought an Xbox yesterday. Now it rounds out my little family with the PS2 and DS. It took some thinking for myself since it can't be as easy and getting all the next gens since I ain't rich so I had to choose just one eventually. So this new toy should suck out some more cash and time from me.

No time for typing, back to playing.

I Refuse to Believe

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 01:59:26 GMT

I've been trying to figure out the different stages I've been through when forced to put up with stupidity for long periods of time. I can get so angry over things that I or other people do that make no sense. But some how, I've reached a point where my mind just turns off and a stupid grin shows on my face normally joined by what's been described to me as an 'evil' laugh. Is that the point of snapping or beyond?

I get frustrated with myself and other people when something stupid happens. I still lay awake at night with thoughts of past mistakes I've made; years of fuck ups playing through my head. I stare at the ceiling getting more and more angry at myself for things I can't help. I eventually start balling up each thought and tossing it out just so I can have a couple of hours of peaceful sleep. (Actually wasn't so peaceful last night since it was about being hunted by Reapers and trying to figure out if I should run or hide.)

With the way I treat myself over mistakes and my ignorance, I guess I fail to understand how other people live themselves. How do they continue to function so blissfully when all I can do is stare at them, dumbfounded by the actions and thoughts (or lack thereof) of these people? Is it really too hard for someone twenty years old than me to recognize that to make a positive ten out of a negative twenty-four isn't by adding only ten. I'm not sure where to start the correction. Am I supposed to teach them negative numbers, addition or both? Is it really my job to teach them or was that the job of their fifth grade teacher? After asking myself these questions, I gave up. I turned my back and went back to what I was doing like I was ignoring a pink elephant.

I used to question this person all the time but I found talking to them to hurt me too much. I vent about it, but it comes to nothing. Used to log it all, used to deal with the details but all that treading might as well have been in quicksand because I feel even more buried in the mental WTFs then ever before. It's just so tiresome to have to say the same things over and over again and it never sinks in. Now I've been left to saying 'uh-huh' over and over again as they talk while the words go in one ear and out the other. I'll retain some of it and vent it later but I've given up. Obsessing over making the situation better bears too little fruit for the effort. I'm told that it's my job to teach others how to do their jobs, but there's a difference between teaching someone SOPs and teaching someone that clicking the green 'X' will open Excel, a program they've been 'using' for over ten years. Or that a starting number of 38 will never drop to 36 when the only thing you can do is addition of positive whole numbers. How do these people balance check books? How do they get through life?

A couple of months ago, I would be in tears as I drove home because it was becoming to be too much between the lack of brain power combined with a hellish project (which was discussed to happen again and I was tempted to resign right then and there if it wasn't for the mental condition I'll eventually get to in this post). Yet, something happened since then. I'm not any less stressed; I'm still doing a job I'm not getting paid for, putting up with demands I can't answer. The stupidty obviously hasn't gone away since those examples given in the past couple of paragraphs were things that happened this week. Yet now, I can't even get angry as I write this. I just have that grin and 'evil' laugh.

Have I moved beyond it, have I snapped, am I finally coping? I'm not too sure what happened or if this is a good thing. I don't think I'm coping with it since I find myself spacing out more often and trying to concentrate on my projects alone just to pretend that the stupidity isn't there. Denial maybe? When the boss' boss asks me questions about issues, I give him the grin and laugh and that's enough for him to know that it's not well so I have been doing this for a while. I just wonder when it went from anger to tears to laughing and whether this is healthy.

Tropic Thunder

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 21:28:39 GMT

After a surprisingly quick oil change, smog check and fuel injection cleaning that I didn't bother bringing the car in for until the afternoon, I was left with plenty of time to catch a matinee of Tropic Thunder. My curiousity of the movie was piqued over my confusion of news on it. I saw a picture in Entertainment Weekly where Downey and Black had blond hair. I thought a blonde and blue eyed Downey was off setting enough; I started to see the movie posters of a blackface Downey. Now I was really confused. I tried searching what was going on but after the 10th site of people bashing Downey and Stiller for pulling the blackface thing instead of casting a black actor, I stopped looking on the 'net. Luckily it was made clear to me what was going on by a coworker. Oh, it's Downey playing an actor (Kirk) who was casted to don the blackface. That made better sense. While the 'net was bashing Downey and Stiller for doing the blackface, it's actually the fictional movie studio doing a fictional movie that should have been the target of their ire.

With that cleared up, I sat back and enjoyed the movie. The mock commercials and trailers at the beginning were a pretty funny way to introduce the characters. I'm still laughing at Downey and McGuire for Satan's Alley. But nothing says more about an actor than their past roles and tabloid blunders so it served as a good introduction.

I can already see that people have been taking some things in the movie to offense. But I just found it funny. I guess I don't take things too seriously when it's meant to take jabs like that. If it was a news broadcast saying the same things, then yeah, that's crossing a line, but in a movie meant to paint such things in a negative way, I don't care. It's not meant to be taken seriously so no reason to take it seriously.

Traffic

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:44:56 GMT

This sounds like a book for me. Maybe I just need to better understand the psychological approach toward road trolling. I don't know why I've never thought of linking the behaviors of stupid drivers to the trolls of the internet. Now I can't help but picture the whole freeway as a giant 4chan board. Then again, I could compare many things in my life to reading an annoying message board community. At least I can close web browsers and move on with life. At work though, it's my job to continue communication with such idiocy.

Alright, since I dragged that train of thought through the wilderness and back, I might as well just admit that this is another entry to add to the 'stupid people' section. I think the summer heat has brought out some of the more challenged members of our community. I was entertained by one guy at the street light in front of Circus who started doing push ups (barely 2) followed by boxing the air complete with some very woozy ducking and weaving. And this was at four in the afternoon, not the best time of the day to be drunk and out in the desert sun.

It's got to suck to have to be outside in this heat though. It's got to bake some brain cells. I almost made road hash out of one guy who stood in the middle of lane to watch for the bus. Honestly, why? Does the bus drive faster when you do that? It's like mashing away at an elevator button. It'll get there, it's doing the best it can do and no amount of impatient harumphing is going to make the bus or elevator move faster.

As I thought about making this person road hash, I thought about a poster that they have up in the Mirage's back of house. "Bikes are traffic, not targets." When I first read that, I had to look around to make sure no one was taking that as some new sound advice; I was looking for who actually thought bikes were targets. Normally, when an advertisement is made, it's made to speak to a target audience like it knows what they're thinking. Did someone in HR really believe that Mirage employees think bikes are targets? If anything, I think bike users are the ones that need to be reminded that they're traffic and thus should follow traffic laws.

OK, I'm done with the wandering thoughts, time to get back to playing games.

emotivEPOC

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 01:18:41 GMT

Once again, science fiction has become non-fiction. I always did think that virtual reality environments controlled by gloves would happen first. Instead, we've leapt right into mind reading devices. Say hello to the emotivEPOC. Using contacts reading electronic pulses, it can read the user's expression, emotion and thoughts and will be sitting next to gaming consoles by the end of year.

The game being developed to utilize the headset's capabilities will enable the player to simply think about what action they want to take to cast spells and interact with the environment. Facial expressions will affect NPCs, mood will affect the environment. Getting bored on how easy the game is? The headset will read this and make the game harder to regain interest. The possible application to online games could make avatars more life like without the need to type out smiles and laughs.

I can't wait to see how this will be received. Will it need many more improvements? Will people freak out of paranoia? The future will always need tweaking and people will always be scared of walking forward.

Mama Mia! Magazines!

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 01:05:39 GMT

I went to see Mama Mia today. I did see a stage performance of it over at Mandalay Bay, but one can't really call seeing a Vegas version the same as seeing the original version (they still haven't taken the glittery cowboy hat off the advertisements since the rodeo some years ago). I was midly amused with the stage version and energy it gave. As for the movie version, I felt like I was watching an ABBA music video marathon. I was almost getting warn out just watching the chorus line running all over the place. I give its points in the technical aspect since the locale was beautiful, party lighting fun and the continuity between cameras surprised even me since I normally get very distracted by things like that.

Now to switch topics completely, I've become interested in magazines again. I already have subscriptions to National Geographic, Entetainment Weekly and Shonen Jump but I wanted something else. I knew there were magazines for just about any interest or hobby but I guess I never really paused to take them all in before. Just let it be known that I only looked at half the section since the other half were fashion and teenie bopper magazines and you know how I'm all about sporting the trendiest handbags and stunner shades while ogling pictures of Disney pop stars. As for the rest, I mean, honestly, is there enough going on in the Star Trek and Star Wars franchises to warrent monthly publications? Yeah, Star Trek is putting out a new movie and Star Wars has some games and the Clone Wars movie and both have book series, but is that enough to fill a magazine month after month? And the horror magazines... I wouldn't even pick one up. It was beyond cheesy looking. Oooo, this season's hottest masks! At least when I need picture references, I know where to turn.

After taking in the other choices, I defaulted to the computer, gaming and anime section. I don't do programing, building or IT work so I ruled out the computer ones. The games ones were either general to the point that only a quarter of it I would care about or they were system specific to the point of being an advertisement booklet. I'll stick with GameSpot.com.

I then looked at the anime/manga choices. Yeah, I already get SJ but it's a Viz Media publication and will only talk about Viz Media products with no other opinion other than 'we make the best stuff evar.' This left me with Anime Insider and Otaku USA. Anime Insider is a Wizard Publication which didn't give me high hopes since I felt like it would be like InQuest: a giant inside joke given to editors kicked out of the Wizard main office. Otaku USA is bi-monthly and seems to have a wide coverage of opinions including samples on disks. I guess I just really want honest looks at things instead of 'OMG, bye out stuffz!'.

As for manga, I wouldn't touch that bubble gum goo Shojo Beat, SJ's baby sister. Honestly, who can read those pastel prints without scratching their eyes out. Don't even get me started on the gag-me subject matter. But I was happy to see a new manga magazine called Yen Plus. It's their first issue this month and I like the wide range of themes from horror to romance. They seem to be a promising one to start following.

iBuy

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 01:25:48 GMT

During a recent sleepless night, I went on a search for some music I really wanted. Because there's nothing like impulse shopping at three in the morning. I was able to locate one album I wanted but my choices were to import it for $45 plus shipping or download it from iTunes for $9.99.

I don't live in the stone ages, but I also wouldn't wait in line for the newest gadget like it's a fad. When it comes to anything with an bitten apple on it, I treat it the same as getting a shot: go in kicking and screaming. My kicking and screaming subdued into cringing as I downloaded iTunes on my computer and bought the album. What was first a sigh of relief that it was only a pinch turned into a throbbing pain. In my avoidance of those apples, I was ignorant of the M4P format. Oh, a format only readable by fruit products ranging in $50 to $500.

While I toyed with the idea donning the wooly fur coat (there's green nano fruit), the kicking and screaming returned. Once I allowed myself to stop being blinded by the shiney, I saw the simple, cheap answer: burn it and re-rip it. I spent the next day bobbing to my new music on my phone's MP3 player instead of going to Best Buy (okay, I lied, I did go to Best Buy the next/same day but that was to get a new flash drive).

While I'm not going to banish iTunes from my computer, I still haven't gotten the nerve to get an fruit player or its popular twin sister with special ability to gab. I will admit that there were some nice features for the product, it's still too much when all I want to do is listen to music. I don't have a gotta-have urge for anything else that can only happen on the fruit players, they're just nice extras I can look forward to when I finally cave in. Quite the ploy though to keep getting money out of people.

Speaking of advertising campaigns, HBO's True Blood has done it again. I liked their first campaign with the Tru Blood drink but now it's political with the American Vampire League. In response to the AVL, there's also the Fellowship of the Sun. See also BloodCopy for the latest vampire news or Lovebitten for online cross-species dating.

RPG'ing

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 01:26:37 GMT

Now that I've finished catching up on the Phoenix Wright games, I was left with a void for another console game to eat up my time. I ended up with two games that I can't put down. I'm playing Persona 3 FES on the PS2 and The World Ends With You on the DS. Sometimes I merge themes in my head while playing these two games. Afterall, they're placed in a mostly modren world, character pictures during dialog and both main characters are always wearing a MP3 players around their necks.

I haven't played anything from the Persona line before so some aspects surprised me. When I first scoped the box and some of the manual (I'm not into reading manuals unless I'm stuck on something stupid), I thought I would get confused with the timeline aspect. I got used to that pretty quickly. Student by day, monster hunter at midnight. Scenes play during the day that will hold relevance like questions for the exams, afternoons open for school clubs and hanging out in town, then midnight rolls around for some good ol' dungeon-style monster hunting. The time line pushes the story along instead of that free time in other RPGs where the play can spend all the time they want leveling up.

It has a very human aspect to the game. Time management is needed so to be sure your character develops enough for the next events. Developments could be anything from taking time to study for school, to hanging out with friends about the town. The choices made in the daytime affect the character's ability to fight well at night and the type of Personae they can summon.

Now the summoning must have been the biggest shocker for me. I'm still trying to get used to these teenagers using Evokers to summon their Personae. An Evoker looks like a gun that the user has to point to their head and pull the trigger. Not the best message to give kids. I normally couldn't bat an eye to video game violence, but this gave me a pause. Just a pause though. I still can't put the game down but I'm sure I'm only 15% of the way through the first story.

As for The World Ends With You, I've only scraped the surface of that one too. The hip hop, modern style pops out the most. And when I say 'style', I don't mean just the pictures. I mean that thing in real life that I lack: the ability to recognizewhat clothing labels are the hot things to wear in that area of Shibuya (or any location in my case). The right styles can boost a player while wearing what is so five minutes ago will hurt their ability. And no outfit would be complete without pins with super power abilities. Good thing that their cell phones can help them keep all this and much more in order. Take that iPhone!

The combat is still kind of confusing for me. I'm pretty much a one-button masher for the main character's partner. I'm concentrating more on the stylus in my other hand controlling the main character's pin abilities and only mashing the partner's buttons when 'puck' is passed to them for the attack multiplier.

I haven't gotten much into the story line yet since I've been taking my time with leveling up which actually surprises me as something I can do. The characters are being timed on completing the tasks given to them but it has no bearing on real time. Granted, real time hasn't been a factor in console RPGs normally, but this game does get affected by real time. There's even a clock on the screen for real time and still doesn't hold bearing on the character time for the tasks. So far, I've found that real time affects things like pin points given for up to seven days the game is not being played.

I still have more ground to cover since I've barely seen what the character is able to do. I haven't even gotten to the pins that are controlled by microphone. Looks like I need to dedicate some more time. At least I get to sleep in two hours tomorrow but I'm going to be itching for a game to play as I sit there and babysit jewelry. I might die of boredom before I get to fight another monster. Ooops, main character wangst getting to me.

The Dark Knight

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 02:55:12 GMT

I went to go see The Dark Knight today. Putting aside a few cheesey lines (cop says, "Have a nice trip. See you next fall," to someone he's putting in a cop car) and the deep voice of Batman that kept grating my nerves, I enjoyed the movie a lot. I've always been a fan of the Joker and Ledger's final role was amazing. I could see why playing that role could have given him sleeping problems. I always did find the mentally unbalanced villians more fun that ones just after money and power. Games and 'social experiments'. Some lines from the movie stick out.

"Some men aren't looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to see the world burn." -Alfred

"Madness is like gravity. All it takes is a little push." -Joker

And push he did with Dent. Two-Face coming to surface, or rather the surface burning away to Two-Face, required a very little push from a guy in a nurse's uniform.

And previews? Hello, Rogue James Bond... The hunt-down-the-super-agent trailer felt more Bourne than Bond. And I wonder if anyone else noticed the girl who looked more like Hepburn ala Breakfast at Tiffany's aside from the plastic rocks for diamonds.