From the Edge of Dementia

All that build up and then it's just over. 

Of course usually it's not really over until the day after New Year's.  But there doesn't seem to be much point for that around here this year.  Christmas has been really rough for three of the four Christmases I've spent here. 

Each day Pop gets worse and worse.  I didn't get into it yesterday but, he stopped outward communication.  He speaks in mono-syllable grunts.  He grunts only about things concerning his own comfort... mostly when he's wet.  He no longer has the capability to eat by himself.  If I put solid food up to his mouth he doesn't know what to do with it.  He also can't suck through a straw or drink from a glass.  HOWEVER, he will take liquids off of a spoon when he's coherent enough to do so.  That's how I gave him his pills.  I wet his tongue first and then put the pill in the middle of it and start spooning water into his mouth.  After about three or four of them, the pill will go down.  I only got one bottle of Ensure in him yesterday.  I think the idea with them is you drink one for every meal, so he should have had three of them. 

Today he was grunting around 9:30 this morning because he was wet.  So I changed him and bathed him and dressed him in a clean night shirt (I can no longer get any kind of shirt on him that doesn't have buttons).  I'm sure on some level he was, but to me he seemed to be totally unconscious through the whole process.  He was not disturbed in any way by me rolling him from side to side or lifting his legs or washing him. 

He also spends most of his "awake" time (I mean, if you want to call it that), in the fetal position.

Any of the family that come to see him at this point will basically be coming to watch him breathe.  There won't be any words or recognization, I don't think. 

Ok, I've got to go.  He's grunting.

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• #4 Comment from helmswondermom 
  12/28/06 12:09 AM | Permalink

  I am so very sorry.
  Lori
  http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages
• #3 Comment from gazker 
  12/27/06 5:33 PM | Permalink

  You have done well for so long. Keep strong for him for just a bit longer.
• #2 Comment from ukgal36 
  12/26/06 4:55 PM | Permalink

  I think the end is near...this must be so hard.. wish I had something wise to say...I do keep you all in my prayers though...
  lyn
  
  http://journals.aol.com/ukgal36/Britsblog/
• #1 Comment from deshelestraci 
  12/26/06 11:13 AM | Permalink

  Oh, Mary, it sounds like he is declining so fast.  I hope that some relatives at least come over to say hi to you and your mom for the support if nothing else.  
  Hugs, Traci